“This is true,” Talia chimes in.
“I’ve even seen it,” I add.
Outlaw picks at her nails as she looks down while she seems to be letting those words sink in. “Fuck. Why do y’all have to be so...right?” she questions, looking up at Harlow as a half grin turns upward on her face. “The big lug does love me, doesn’t he? Hell, sometimes even I wonder how he puts up with half of my shit. It’s just been so hard learning and dealing with all of these new things at once. And to top it all off, I’m exhausted. Too small for my maternity clothes, but still too big for my old clothes. My boobs have gone from the size of Mount Everest to barely something worthy of a landmark. Not to mention their shape isn’t near as perky now. I’m still having to wear the equivalent of an adult diaper because God forbid this bleeding ever stops. I find myself not even wanting Merc to see my naked body as it’s changed so much. And then I start to think that when my six-week checkup arrives and I get the all clear to have sex again, am I gonna want it? The thought alone of anything even coming remotely close to my girly bits makes me cringe, which only brings me back to having him see me naked again. I mean, I can’t just keep giving my old man blow jobs for the rest of our lives. Ugh,” she vents her frustrations.
“All of that is also normal, Outlaw. Like I said, Merc loves you no matter what. Everything will be just fine, you’ll see,” Harlow declares, patting Harmony’s leg.
Harmony shrugs and I glance over at Talia who has gone silent and pale again. “Talia? Are you gonna be sick? Need some water? What do you need?”
“Shit, I forgot,” Harlow states.
“Forgot what?” Outlaw asks.
“Talia may or may not be pregnant. Long story short, she’s got some of the symptoms, but unsure if her period is actually late or not,” I fill Harmony in.
“Shifter, stop up here at the pharmacy,” Harmony orders him.
“You got it,” he announces.
“And here I was going on and on about all of the horrible ways my body and life has changed. Why didn’t y’all tell me sooner?” Outlaw asks.
“It’s fine,” Talia interrupts. “I just need to suck it up and take a test already.”
Outlaw places her hand on Talia’s shoulder. “While I was busy complaining, I failed to mention all of the beautiful ways that my life has changed, though. I have a beautiful baby whom I have a love for that is indescribable. Literally, I’ve never felt this way about anyone or anything. It’s so different than the way we love our old men. I have this tiny little person that is half me, and half the person I love, and it was through our love that she came to be. And you know what? Every bit of what my body has and is going through is worth it when I look into her sweet little eyes and see my old man’s staring back at me.” Shifter pulls up to the pharmacy and we stop. “I’ll run in and grab a few tests. You want at least two just in case, and I’ll grab you a Sprite or something to sip on. Be right back.” Harmony hops out of the vehicle, taking charge like she usually does.
Looking over at Talia I can see the hesitation and worry dripping from her face as she nervously taps her foot against the floorboard. I am probably not the best person to be counseling another considering I still have moments I battle my own inner torment; but when I see someone who needs help my instinct is to offer it. “Talia?” As if I caught her off guard, her eyes quickly flicker to meet mine. “I might not be the best at giving advice, but I think I speak for all of us when I say that no matter what the outcome of the tests, we all support you. I do understand the nervousness surrounding the possibility of becoming a mother when it was the furthest thing from your mind. But I also know that no matter those results that what’s meant to be will always be. We might not always understand the reasons behind it all, or the timing, but personally I do believe that everything happens for a purpose.”
Her eyes turn glossy and I can tell she’s fighting off tears. She takes me by surprise as she wraps her arms around my neck, giving me a warm hug. “You are so strong, Aria,” she says in almost a whisper. “You’ve been through your own personal hell, but you always manage to find a way to lift us all up. And I think you should know how much I admire that about you. Takes a lot of strength to push your own demons aside to help someone else. No wonder Sandman lost his absolute mind when you were missing and everyone presumed you to be dead. You’re a real treasure and he knows it, and we’re all lucky to have you back,” she tells me.
The back passenger door opens, breaking up the bonding moment between Talia and I as Outlaw climbs back in with a plastic bag and a Sprite. “Here you go.” She hands the soda to Talia. “You can save these for later back at the clubhouse or we can take them today while we’re out. Up to you.” She hands Talia the bag.
“We?” Harlow asks Outlaw through one squinted eye.
“I just meant if she were more comfortable taking them without any of the men present,” Harmony replies in a defensive tone.
“Oh no you don’t,” Harlow argues. “You’re a nosy bitch and you’re impatient to know. The only reason I know this is because, well, I am too.” Her face lights up and a large grin forms on her face and both of them stare at Talia awaiting her response.
Sitting back, I rest my head against the seat. “Vultures,” I say beneath my breath.
“I resent that statement,” Harmony spits out at me.
“Same,” Harlow echoes.
“Talia, don’t let anyone pressure you into any decision. Take the tests when you’re ready,” I finish, ignoring Outlaw’s attempt to get a rise out of me.
“I-I think I wanna wait for now,” Talia answers, folding the bag and setting it in her lap.
“Fine. It really is up to you. Just thought you might feel better knowing now rather than later. Shifter, up ahead is the clothing store.” Outlaw points out. “Besides, I’m excited to find some new clothes. Maybe it will help me get through some of these issues I’m having in regard to my body.”
After over an hour of shopping and Harmony texting every five minutes checking on Mel, she finally found herself some new threads. In fact, we all did. I think it also did Talia some good, taking her mind off everything.
“Where to now?” Harmony inquires. “Anyone else starving? Because I sure am.”
We all voice in agreement. “What about Dar’s? That diner never gets old. Swear I could eat there almost every day. Old fashioned burgers and milkshakes.” My mouth salivates at the thought.
“Definitely,” Harlow adds in her two cents.
We all look at Talia for the final decision. “Sounds good to me,” she answers after noticing we’re all looking to her for an answer. “Sorry, I just can’t stop thinking about…” She clenches the bag with the tests in them. “But I wanna eat first while I think about it.”
“Shifter? Dar’s Diner it is,” I tell him.
“You got it,” he replies as he appears to be texting with someone while we were stopped. Probably the men checking on us and all I can think about is my earlier conversation with Hawke and the life of a biker. More like the life of being the old lady of a biker. But, I suppose with everything that’s happened to each one of us, they have a right to be so protective. Not to mention, I do feel more secure knowing I have someone with me at all times even if it is a little annoying.
Sandman
Impatiently I wait for this fucking prospect to hustle and answer my previous text message. All I want is confirmation that my woman, and all the old ladies, are all safe and accounted for. Finally, the dickhead messages me back that things are cool on his end. When I advise him he needs to learn the definition of hustle, the stupid fuck messages me back laughing emojis. I make the decision right here and now that he’ll be looking up the definition and write the meaning down like an elementary schooler would do. I’m tired of these prospects thinking they have the right to do things on their timeline.
Things do not work like that in an MC.
“Yo, could you hold her for a second?” Merc tries handing Melodi over
to me. I instantly throw up my hands in a never happening gesture and he narrows his eyes into tiny slits as if he’s trying to cause an instantaneous death. Mine.
“No offense, brother, but babies aren’t really my thing,” I let him know trying to soothe his inner beast.
“She’s a baby. What the fuck do you think she’s gonna do to you?” His anger is palpable to everyone sitting in our general area.
“Look at Sandman, all scared of a tiny human,” Fox talks shit to me.
“Then you hold her ass,” I say to him, admonishing his foolishness.
“I wasn’t asked,” he defends his previous word vomit.
“Then I’ll ask now,” Merc raises his eyebrows in Fox’s direction.
“Nah, man. I’m cool.” I laugh as the color drains from his face. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s cute as shit, bro. But think about it, do you really want someone who’s just finished smoking a joint holding your kid?”
“Let me have my grandbaby!” Rogue gives us all his presidential laser death ray glare. That motherfucker there is one mean son-of-a-bitch whose bad side I’d prefer to stay away from. “You guys are all a bunch of overgrown children!” he scolds.
“I resent that reference,” Fox declares with a look of pure innocence that I know he doesn’t possess. I feel my own eyes grow wide in anticipation at the size of this motherfucker’s balls toward our Pres. He’s speaking to him as if Rogue’s some sort of school hall monitor instead of his superior.
“Keep it up, Fox, and I’ll teach you all about references.” My imagination gets the better of me when I visualize the two of them with boxing gloves on with no rules in place. I need to make a mental checklist to buy a set for the club. I know there’s several times I’d like to take a member or two out in the yard and teach them a lesson to remember.
Rogue’s face lights up when the worst sounds escapes little Mel. I can’t believe someone of that size has the capability of farting in such an intense way. The room goes quiet as all of us turn our attention in her direction. “Someone made a doody.” I hear Merc snicker like a schoolgirl as he looks over his shoulder at Rogue.
“A doody?” Fox begins a hysterical round of laughter that is catchy.
“You talking shit?” Merc squares his shoulders like a bullfighter getting ready to whip his red cape and take down his opponent.
“Talking shit?” Rogue intervenes. “Speaking of shit, I think Grandpa’s pretty little princess has indeed done just that.” He holds baby Mel out as he looks into her eyes and begins to speak to her in a cooing tone, “And since Uncle Fox has some sort of need to be punished today, why don’t we start him off with diaper duty?” Fox hangs his head and shakes it. When he looks up he’s wearing the look of terror and trepidation. We all begin to laugh at his predicament. Then all the men get up and follow him and Rogue out of the room. However, I have this weight that has settled in my chest, a feeling of something bad happening that I can’t get rid of. Picking up my phone, I once again message the prospect.
He texts back, but again, it’s after a good solid four minutes. That simply is not okay with me and think that I might need to bring this to Rogue’s attention. His only fucking job today is to basically be up their asses and respond back as quickly as possible. None of this is helping my paranoia and I’m half-tempted to hop on my bike and go find them. If nothing else, so I can wring Shifter’s neck. Something deep in the pit of my gut tells me that there’s more going on out there in the civilian world right now than meets the eye, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake it.
Stepping outside, I pull my pack of cigs out and light one up; attempting to inhale and exhale some of my worries away with every drag.
4
Aria
Ping. Ping. The sound of Shifter's phone constantly going off is grating on my last nerve. Something inside of me tells me it’s Hawke, I mean Sandman, as he’s asked that I start referencing him as. He has driven me up the wall; I feel as if I’ve gone half-mad since I was rescued, and have been living at the clubhouse. I have finally gathered the strength and nerve to travel outside of the security of the gated compound. I know I was one of the lucky ones, I wasn’t raped by my captor, but I was mentally, physically and emotionally enslaved to his warped mind. And while I’ve come a long way in my process of healing those old wounds, sometimes I still find myself triggered by certain noises or tones used by men while speaking. I understand where Sandman’s coming from, I really do, but if we ever stand a chance at leading any form of a normal life, he’s got to make the effort to let some of this go; just as I have.
Talia grabs the pregnancy tests from the bag and stuffs them into her purse. We all seem to notice at the same time and as our eyes shift back and forth to one another, I can see the other women’s excitement matches mine.
“So we’re really doing this? I mean, now?” Outlaw is the first to question.
As we continue to make our way out of the vehicle to head into the diner, Harlow asks, “Again, what’s with this we shit?”
I’ve played mediator all day I feel, respecting Talia’s feelings concerning this, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit I’m excited to find out too. “Oh, come on, Harlow. If she wants to take the tests now, who are we to stop her?”
Harlow grabs my elbow before she excitedly declares, “I know, you’re right. I was just trying to remain impartial. But, let’s do this!”
A small, yet nervous grin forms on Talia’s face as we banter back and forth. “I’d like to get something to drink and possibly eat first, though, if that’s okay with you all?” I can’t help but notice the hint of sarcasm in her voice.
We all crowd her at the same time, almost coddling her. “Yes, absolutely,” Harmony agrees. “Anything or any way you want to do this is fine with us. It’s your body so don’t let us sway your decision in anyway. Take all the time you need.”
“So, you’ll be okay if I decide to wait then? I mean, if I lose my nerve once we’re inside?” Talia rebuts.
Outlaw’s lips purse and I watch as one of her eyes seems to twitch in an attempt to not narrow them. “S-sure. Anything you want,” she stammers out grudgingly.
Talia breaks free in laughter as she hooks her arm through Outlaw’s. “I’m just messing with ya! But I’ve got to say, the way you attempted to compose yourself combined with the priceless look on your face was well worth it.”
Outlaw bats Talia’s arm. “You cruel little bitch,” she tells her before we all find ourselves giggling.
As we make our way through the diner, we take a booth large enough to fit us all and Shifter takes a seat at the bar in front of the register. He has positioned himself to where he’s facing us and the door, being a good little prospect. “Has anyone else noticed that Shifter has spent the entire time on the phone since we left the clubhouse?” I ask the others.
Outlaw and Harlow roll their eyes. “He’s always on that damn phone,” Harlow hisses. “Just the other day Bane got on his ass for not paying attention to his duties and doing whatever it is he’s doing on that damn phone.”
“I’m betting it’s Sandman,” I state.
“What makes you think that?” Talia inquires.
“Because he’s done nothing but need to know everything I am doing every second of the damn day. He’s driving me to the mad house I tell ya!” I emphasize by using my finger and dragging it across my neck. “Off with his head,” I giggle and the others join in.
“Edge was a little...on edge, no pun intended, when I was going through my thing,” Talia crosses her eyes at me.
“Your thing?” Harlow raises a singular eyebrow in question.
“Yes, my thing,” she hisses back, the indignation fully displayed in her facial features.
“Good to know that men trying to kill you is just a thing now,” Outlaw uses her fingers in quotation marks as she says that.
“I don’t wanna talk about it. It’s a thing of the past and I’m only looking forward from here,” she spits out at Outlaw
.
I rub my stomach and feel the need to almost want to undo the top button of my jeans as I’ve clearly overindulged in my chili cheese fries. “That was so good.”
“Where’d Shifter go?” Talia looks over in the direction he was once sitting. Something catches her eye as she stares a moment too long and a look of displeasure and caution can be seen on her face. “Anyone else notice that man at the counter sitting at that barstool’s been eyeing us since the moment we walked in? Or am I just being paranoid?”
My eyes shift in that direction and all I notice is the backside of a tall, burly man as he walks away from us and toward the restrooms. For some reason the hairs on the back of my neck immediately raise as a cold shiver runs down my spine. I don’t understand this so I chalk it up to my past combined with her anxiousness which seems to feed my own madness. “Hmm,” I let out subtly as a thousand scenarios race through my head.
“Don’t know.” Harlow dismisses the odd character walking away. “Do you need him for something?” she asks.
“I just wanted to let him know I’m heading to the bathroom. I thought he was our babysitter and his eyes were to stay glued on us at all times?” she sarcastically inquires.
“He is and he’s supposed to,” Outlaw chimes in but never takes her eyes from her own cell phone.
“Merc?” I question, wondering what has her so glued to her phone.
“Yes and no. I’m just checking on Mel. Making sure the men don’t have her on the back of a Harley, cigar in hand with whiskey in her bottle,” she replies with a half-smirk.
“Oh, come on. You know better than any of that,” Harlow interjects with rationale.
“I know, I know. I was only teasing,” Outlaw answers as she tucks her phone back into her pocket. “Still wanna check on my child. After all, this is my first time being away from her for longer than a shower break. I know none of those men would ever let a thing happen to her. Especially her daddy.”
Sandman's Awakening: Twisted Iron MC Page 3