The kiss is urgent, demanding. Like he may never have the chance to do it again, and I don’t like that thought. I part my lips slightly and his greedy tongue slips through easily. Our tongues collide gently as a moan escapes from somewhere deep within my throat. He cups my face and pulls away from the kiss. His eyes search my face, looking for answers to all the questions that I know are running through his mind.
“Caleb,” is all I can manage to say. My voice is soft and breathy. I want him to scoop me up into his arms and take me somewhere. Anywhere. To a place where it’s only him and me. Where no one else exists.
“Fuck, Henley,” he mumbles.
Not exactly the words I was expecting or wanting. I don’t say anything, I just stare into his eyes waiting for him to continue.
“You drive me fucking crazy. What the hell were you thinking?” He inhales deeply before dropping his forehead to mine.
His comforting scent surrounds me as I wrap my mind around his words. He wants to know why I acted so damn foolish earlier. What he doesn’t understand is that today has been one of the most difficult days of my entire life. It is the first time I’ve ever actually been to a doctor’s appointment alone. Even though alone is what I chose for my life, it doesn’t make my situation any easier.
“I wasn’t thinking. It all happened so fast—the words… the hallway… his station… being alone with that arrogant son-of-a-bitch. It was so fucking overwhelming. I felt like I couldn’t breathe,” I tell him.
“He didn’t touch you, did he?” He lifts his forehead from mine as his eyes narrow.
“No. No, it never got that far,” I say anxiously.
“That far?” His body tenses.
God, I can tell by the tone of his voice he must think I’m a whore. I guess technically, the two of us were just a one-night stand. So why wouldn’t he think the worst of me? My intentions were in the right place when I walked into The Drunken Peacock. But damn, it didn’t take me long to fuck everything up.
My hands grip his wrists. “The tattoo. I didn’t go through with getting the tattoo. I couldn’t let him touch me.”
“Don’t ever put yourself in that situation again. I don’t know what triggered you to even think being alone with Rex was okay, but if you really want a tattoo let me do it for you, or Smitty or even Brant. Rex is a fucking tool. And I hate to see you get caught up in his bullshit.” he demands.
“I won’t ever do something so stupid again. I promise,” I tell him.
“I still don’t understand why you suddenly decided you wanted a tattoo today. Haven’t you lived here for a while? You seem to know Smitty pretty well.”
I shrug slightly, before saying, “I don’t know, Caleb. The whole reason I was there was….” I can’t finish. I’m normally a “say what I think” kind of person, but right now, I can’t seem to form a normal thought, much less words.
“You don’t have your guitar and you rarely come inside anyway. Unless you’re looking for Smitty. Just tell me why you were there.” He releases my face, and my hands slip away from his wrists.
He knows. I guess he wants me to say it. I’m determined to make this right with him.
I grab his wrist and drag him into the narrow alley next to the building. Once we’re away from the crowded sidewalk, I pull his body closer to mine. “Because of you.”
“Because of me?” he asks softly.
My face warms with embarrassment over the words I’m about to speak, but I’m done with the games I’ve been playing with myself. If I’m ever gonna have a chance at any kind of relationship with Caleb, I need to tell him the truth.
“Yes, because of you. I came to the shop to see you.” I blow out a breath before looking up into his eyes.
“Why?” He lowers his head, and now his face is within inches of mine. His breath is warm on my cheek.
Thoughts of that one night we had together are racing through my mind. I want another night—hell, who am I kidding? I’m greedy. I want to spend every night with him. With only him.
“I think you probably already know the answer,” I whisper.
I release the hold I have on his wrist and move my hands to his chest. His muscles tighten under my touch, which motivates me to whisper, “I want you.”
Yes, I said those words aloud and I meant them with every ounce of my soul.
Caleb smirks before saying, “You want me, huh?”
“Do you know how difficult it was for me to tell you how I feel after you walked away from me that day? Do you know how I became impulsive and damn near lost my mind because of wanting to say those three words to you? So please, don’t make fun of me,” I tell him.
“Henley,” he says, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “I would never make fun of you. It’s just that…” He looks away before taking a deep breath, and then his eyes return to mine. “It’s just that those words mean more to me than you’ll ever know. Trust me when I tell you that I feel the same way. I want you in my life every day. But you’ve got to let go of whatever it is that makes you—”
I cut him off and quickly finish his sentence. “Such a bitch. I know I’m difficult and sometimes mean. I am so sorry I’ve been almost impossible to be around at times. Well… most of the time. I promise to work on it. I promise to give you me, the real me without all the attitude and hateful words.”
“Don’t change who you are for me or for anybody else. I happen to like your attitude; it’s fucking sexy as hell,” he says before nuzzling his nose into my neck. He takes a quick breath, inhaling my scent before kissing me once, twice, three times along my neck. It doesn’t take long for me to figure out that those three little kisses are not nearly enough, so I tilt my head to the right giving him better access. My breathing quickens as his tongue joins in with his lips to make this the best kissing and licking ritual I’ve ever experienced.
I want to wrap my legs around his waist so he can carry me back to his apartment and bury himself deep inside me. Because I fear fucking him against this wall in broad daylight would get us both arrested.
He pulls his lips from my neck, bringing his gaze to mine. His eyes blaze with darkness. With so much desire. Suddenly, a million butterflies take flight in my stomach, and my hands twitch to touch his bare skin. My mind is reeling through every single Caleb fantasy I’ve ever had, and right now, the one where he fucks me against a brick wall is at the top of my list.
A car horn sounds just a few feet away, bringing us both back to reality.
“Hey,” he whispers before smiling the kind of smile that reaches his eyes and swallows his entire face.
“Hey,” I repeat, drawing in my bottom lip between my teeth. Now I just wait for him to tell me what this means. What he wants. Because I want him. I want this. And I don’t want it to ever go away. I’m just really hoping he feels the same way.
“I hate to say this, but I need to go. I have to get back to the shop. That is, if I still have a job.” He chuckles nervously.
“Why wouldn’t you have a job?” I ask, wondering why he would say something so ridiculous.
“I don’t have time to talk about it right now,” he says as he pulls away from me, never losing eye contact.
“Okay,” I tell him.
“Can I see you later? After I get off work?” he asks.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
“I would like that… very much,” I tell him, keeping my voice low and soft, because I don’t want him to see the overwhelming excitement I’m experiencing.
“I have to work until midnight. I can pick you up at your place, or at least meet you somewhere near your apartment after that. I don’t want you walking around New Orleans that time of night,” he says.
“I’ve been walking these streets well after midnight for the last two years. Plus it’s Friday, and there will be tons of people out. I’ll be fine,” I huff with a little less attitude than normal.
“I’m not going to argue with you, Henley. Truthfully, I want to tell you that you don’t have a choice and
you will let me come get you. But I know it’s an argument I won’t win. Seeing you tonight is more important than me getting my way this afternoon.”
He leans in and kisses my forehead gently, before saying, “Oh, and I need your phone so I can give you my number. That way, you can text me before you head over to my place tonight.” Caleb holds his open hand out toward me. He’s waiting for me to dig into my pocket and pull out my phone. Not. Gonna. Happen.
I move in closer toward him and place my hand in his. “I don’t have a phone. Just tell me what time to be at your apartment, and I’ll be there.”
He shakes his head and then squeezes my hand gently. I know he’s not happy with my answer.
I knew he’d be upset when he found out I don’t have a phone. I think it’s sweet that he worries about my safety, that he wants to protect me. But I can assure him that worrying about me will cause him a lifetime of stress and heartache. Which brings me back to the fact that I really need to tell him the truth. But right now doesn’t seem like the time, and it’s certainly not the place. For some reason, being honest with Caleb scares the shit out of me. I guess it’s because my honesty may give him a reason to leave, and right now I’m working on getting him back. I refuse to risk losing him before he’s even mine.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” His voice is deep and rough. Here we go again. I assume that me not having a phone makes him angry.
I suck in a deep breath before answering. “Nothing is wrong with me. I just don’t have a phone. It’s not a fucking crime, you know?”
“You mean to tell me you have lived alone in this city for two years and have never had a phone?” He releases my hand before pacing slowly in front of me.
“Yes, I have lived in New Orleans for about two years, and no, I’ve never had a phone. Except for a Tracfone. But I’ve never used it. To be honest, I can barely remember to buy minutes for it.” My voice is strong and assertive.
He stops pacing. Now he’s standing directly in front of me and his eyes are dark and heavy from anger, worry, and concern. I don’t want him to worry about me. This is the reason I choose to be alone. Because having someone else carry my burden is too much for me to handle. Even if this is only about a damn phone, it’s just the tip of the iceberg of what lies ahead for him.
“Look, we’ll talk about this later. Just be at my place at midnight. And be careful,” he says. Then he leans down and kisses me gently on the lips before turning away and heading back to the crowded sidewalk.
Twenty-One
Henley
It’s a little after midnight as I make my way down Toulouse Street. It’s dark. Much darker than usual. I swear every street light in the city must be out. When I finally reach my destination, I come to a stop. I tilt my head back. My vision fails me for a moment, so I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath. Then when I open them, my focus is back, and my gaze locks onto the sign hanging low in the entryway of the tattoo shop. The Drunken Peacock—I’ve grown to love this place. At least since Caleb showed up. I take a couple steps and peek around the corner at the stairway that leads to the small apartment that used to be my safe haven when I needed it. I guess it still is, but only now, it no longer belongs to just me.
As I climb the steps to Caleb’s apartment, my mind drifts back to the night when I first met him. I cringe at the thought of the way I acted. But I guess me being a bitch is what brought us together.
I lift my fisted hand to the door and knock once and then a second time. As I wait patiently for Caleb to grace me with his presence, I slide my hand into the front pocket of my jeans. The cool metal of the key reminds me that I could easily let myself in, but I don’t. This is Caleb’s home.
Suddenly, the door swings open and I flinch slightly.
“Why so jumpy?” He laughs.
“My mind… it was somewhere else.” My voice is hesitant.
“Where is it? I mean your mind. Shouldn’t it be here with me?” He smirks.
God, he’s so damn sexy, even if he’s being a bit of a smartass, and I want to do something super girly, like swoon. But swooning is not something I would ever allow myself to do. So I blow off his words and try changing the subject.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m here, and that’s what’s important. At least, to me.”
He lifts his right eyebrow and smiles, before he says, “Just tell me one thing. Wherever your mind wandered off to, was I there?”
“Maybe.” I grin before walking around him and into his apartment.
“Maybe. I fucking love that word,” he whispers from behind me as he closes the door.
I look around the barely lit room as Caleb walks by me, brushing my shoulder lightly.
“I have something for you,” he says, making his way to the small island in the center of the kitchen.
“For me?” I ask. “That’s funny, because I have something for you too.” I take a few steps toward him. What did I leave here? is all I can think. I only had my clothes the last time I was in his apartment, and I put every stitch of them back on before I left.
“You go first,” he teases.
I smile as I pull the key from my pocket. My hand opens, revealing the only other key to his apartment. His gaze travels from my eyes to the small metal object in my hand.
“Keep it,” he says quietly.
“I don’t feel right keeping it. What if you need it?” I ask him.
“Henley, why would I need it? I honestly forgot about the spare. So, keep it. Just in case you ever need it.”
“But—”
“Don’t argue. Just put it back in your pocket,” he demands.
I do as I’m told and hesitantly shove the key back in my pocket.
I take a couple more steps toward him. He grabs a small rectangular box from the island before giving it to me.
“What’s this?” I ask as my eyes meet his.
“You’re kidding, right? You really don’t know what’s in this box?” he asks.
I shrug before taking the top off the box. It doesn’t just slide off. I have to wiggle the top some as I tug on it. After the package is open, I peer inside at the shiny screen.
“A phone. You bought me a phone?”
“Yeah, and my number is already programmed into your contact list so if you ever need me….” he says as he maneuvers the phone out of the snug hold the box has on it. His hands and fingers move quickly as he turns it on.
“Thank you, but I don’t need a phone. I’m really sorry you wasted your money,” I tell him, trying to hold back the aggravation in my voice.
It’s not that I’m not appreciative of the gift. It’s just that I really don’t need a phone.
“I do understand that you think you don’t need a phone, and I’m cool with that, but take it anyway. Don’t think of it as a gift from me, but rather me giving myself something.”
“That doesn’t even make sense. You’re giving me a phone but it’s a gift to you?” I laugh at his words, because frankly, they sound somewhat illogical.
“Call me selfish, but now I won’t worry about you out late at night performing on the streets because you have a phone. And if you need anybody… all you have to do is call.”
He takes a step toward me and leans down near my ear, before whispering, “Please take the phone, Henley. Take it for me.” His words come out soft and gentle, sending that familiar tingle down my spine.
As I move in a little closer to him, my eyes flutter closed. This is one of those moments where I don’t have to see anything. Just the sound of his voice and the warmth of his breath on my skin pull me into a world where only Caleb and Henley exist without the thought of his past or my future. I want to live here forever.
“Okay, I’ll keep it. But only for you,” I whisper.
It took all of three seconds for me to give in to this guy. I tell myself that me keeping the phone is for him. So he won’t worry. Because I don’t want him to worry about anything, especially me.
He drops a gentle kiss on m
y neck and then my shoulder. My body immediately yearns for his touch, his skin on mine.
Caleb puts the phone on the countertop before wrapping his arms around me.
“Thank you,” he replies. The vibration of his voice on my skin causes me to shudder. This guy is doing things to me that I can’t explain. He’s making me feel all the emotions I promised myself I’d never give in to.
I bury my face in his chest.
“Welcome,” I moan, not really remembering why he said thank you. I take a shaky breath and sigh. I really want to rip every shred of clothing from his body. But I can’t—at least not yet, not now. I need to have patience and just let it happen. I don’t want him to think the only reason I’m here is to jump back into bed with him. Even though it is—the only reason. Well, not really the only reason, but the most important one.
I pull away from him and step back. Crazy, right? But I’m about to do something irrational, erratic, and all the other words that describe me stepping out of my normal mode of behavior.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell him as I walk toward the door leading to his bedroom.
Twenty-Two
Caleb
“Dammit!” I struggle to hold in the anger I’m feeling at this moment. Anger toward myself for being pushy and needy. I breathe in slowly, but my heart is still slamming against my ribs. Henley showed up here at my apartment less than ten minutes ago, and I’m already groping her and wanting to tear her clothes off. She’s really trying to be good, by not letting her inner bitch show. When I gave her the phone, she was pissed. It was written all over her beautiful face, but she did a good job at holding back her normal reaction. So I guess her pulling away from me and scurrying off to the bedroom was her telling me to calm my shit down. She didn’t come here to fuck. Maybe she wants to watch a movie or talk, and I’m good with that. I just can’t sit too close to her.
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