by Clare London
He held up a hand again, halting me. “You insult me, whether you mean to or not. Yes, I moved out of the camp swiftly, but that was because I didn’t want to disturb the attack plans any more than necessary. I knew I could be into the city and back again before we planned to move on the House of Physic—if, indeed, it were still necessary.”
“Or into the city and dead,” I snapped.
He laughed softly and rather bitterly. “Or that, yes. But I don’t plan to run blindly into trouble. I didn’t allow Flora to continue messages with the city until she’d told me the code of it. So I just stopped at the beacon to leave a message for Kiel to meet me at the eastern gate. That was always their fallback plan if she needed to return to the city for any purpose. It’s also always been the best place for us to direct our attack.”
“But not with Kiel’s assistance!” My voice was urgent.
“No.” Dax shook his head. “We won’t involve him in the fight. But if anything goes wrong for me on this mission, he’ll know to send a message back in the same way. Apparently there’s an abandoned grain tower at the back of the kitchens that he uses as a beacon in return. I don’t know the details, but Flora does. And as for the Histories—when I meet him, I’ll ask him to direct me to the important ones. I assume he knows as much as you do?”
“More,” I answered. “It’s his brave work that uncovered all this.” I grabbed his arm. “He’s loyal and very bright, Dax, but not a soldier.”
Dax looked at me for a moment, then nodded. “I won’t endanger him in this, I promise you. I’ll bring him back out with me, if you want.”
“What are you talking about?” I was angry again; everything he said made me bristle with frustration. “You’re talking as if everything is now in your hands alone. I’ll be beside you whether you attack the city or not, just as I’m beside you now in this reckless mission.”
“No,” said Dax. “Today, just one man is needed.”
“No,” I countered. “One man, maybe, but not you. No History is worth this.”
He startled me then, turning so that his face was very close to mine and I could see the flare of anger in his eyes. “Don’t dare tell me what’s important to my life, or to my people! You’re the one who wants to save lives, who wants this inequality to end. Or did I misunderstand you? Is this all about Maen, and Maen’s safety and Maen’s desire for a quiet life?”
I stared at him, shocked. “How dare you accuse me of that?”
He pulled his arm away. “This has to be done. You’ve offered us a chance to find out more about our history, and to make more of our future. No one’s ever done that before. You must see how important this is. Especially if it’s the only way to reach Seleste, to get her to see reason.”
We both fell silent. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but my thoughts covered a variety of ways of disabling him and returning him, reluctant or otherwise, to the camp.
He let out a slow, ragged breath. “I’m not seeking death, Maen. I’ve no desire to be a hero, dead or otherwise. But I repeat, this has to be done.”
I hurt inside, listening to his courage and his determination speaking, even while I cursed how misguided he was. “You really believe the Histories can be used constructively against Seleste?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Yet you’ve told me you’d kill her if you had the chance.”
For a second, his eyes darkened fiercely. “I would. But there are other things to think about. There are men and women who wouldn’t welcome, or survive, an outright battle with the city. There are longer-term demands that we could negotiate with her if she were still Queen, if we had a decent bargaining tool. There’s the matter of you….”
“Me?”
He sighed and rested his hand on my shoulder. “She’ll never let you go voluntarily, Maen. Seleste will either demand your return or have you killed. Those are the only options for her pride to be satisfied. I admit this mission has a selfish motive for me. If she can surrender rights to us as a group, she can surrender rights to you as an individual. I’d insist on that.”
“Seleste.” I hissed her name. I hadn’t asked to be desired by her; I’d never asked to be singled out by her. But I wouldn’t shirk from the responsibility of handling the repercussions. I straightened out from under the rock and stood up. “We must go, then. I know the pattern of the Guard, and we’ll approach during their duty change. Then Kiel will meet us at his own gate, a rather less formal entrance, I’m afraid, but it’s safely hidden from public view.”
Dax scrambled out after me. As I started to pick my way back down the rocks, he called out. “What do you mean, we? I said only one man. I won’t risk your life as well.”
“You’ll never find Kiel without me,” I said firmly. “You’ll have to bring him out of hiding, and I won’t have him compromised as well.”
Dax shook his head angrily; for a second, I thought he might strike me. An interesting thought, but a distraction we couldn’t afford. I stopped, turned, and caught his face between my hands. I kissed him fiercely, my tongue pushing hard for entrance until he opened his mouth and let me in to taste him properly. His hands fisted against my arms, but he didn’t put enough strength behind pushing me away. When I felt his body finally start to relax against me, I pulled away as gently as I dared.
“We go together,” I said. “Do you hear me? This has to be done. But together.”
He stared at me, his expression wary. He licked his lips involuntarily, and I shuddered at the memory of those lips on my body. I wanted so much more of him! I didn’t resist when he reached forward and kissed me back, his hand tangling into the ends of my hair, and his groin nudging against mine. But this was neither the place nor time to take it further, and we both knew it.
“I hear you,” he muttered. “Lead the way.”
I WOULD have preferred to wait for nightfall, but Dax insisted we continue. We climbed down the rocks, moving from hiding place to hiding place, taking our time about covering the open land. It was long after midday when we reached the walls, but I was in no hurry to arrive. Dax traveled the last stretch of ground almost silently, reminiscent of the way Kiel moved about the city. Not for the first time, I marveled at the way my Bronzeman had matured with the Exiles and wondered at the skills he’d developed in their company. Kiel had taught me the pattern of the Guard’s current duty, and so we were able to move forward when the main gate was almost unmanned. Even so, I would have missed an extra changeover if Dax hadn’t been alert to the sound of soldiers’ armor and the quiet greetings I’d not heard. He seemed to know when to hold still and when to move, blending his footsteps with the echoes of the men on the wall. It was a very different kind of military ability from the training he’d been subject to as a Bronzeman.
I stayed by his side, but we weren’t challenged at any time. Then, when we drew near to the main gate, I diverted us quickly away to another, neglected part of the wall and pulled him in with me against its shadow. The stones were cold against my back, although the day’s sun was warming up the air. Dax frowned at me, not understanding what was happening, but he knew not to speak aloud. Then a gentle creak came from some of the stones beside him and a huff of dusty breath. Several of them shifted and fell away, back onto the ground inside the city.
Kiel’s head appeared in the gap, peering out. His eyes widened when he saw me and a smile creased his face. “Maen!” he whispered and winked at me. “I’m so glad you made it here safely, but come through quickly now, they’re increasing the Guard today, I’m not sure why.”
I pushed Dax through the gap and struggled along behind him. Kiel had to tug away another few stones to make the space wider for me, and by the time I stood inside the city, facing him, he panted gently from his efforts.
“Maen,” he whispered again, his eyes shining. “You promised to see me again.”
I smiled back. “I know. Though I hadn’t planned on it being in these circumstances.”
“Is there an attack coming? I’
ve always managed to keep out of the way in the past.”
“No, it’s something more—yet maybe less. I need to borrow your book, Kiel.”
“My book?” He tensed up, peering from me to Dax, warily. “No, that doesn’t exist.”
“What book are you talking about?” Dax was confused. He stared back at Kiel. “We need to take the Histories away with us, scribe. There’s information in there that’s vitally important for us.”
Kiel’s gaze flickered between us. His eyes darkened. “I know that, of course I do. But you won’t be taking the Histories away with you today unless you have a couple of carts and horses, for there are floors full of them. And that’s assuming I’d let you take them, for they’re too precious to survive life in your camp, and also far too dear to me to let them out of my sight.”
Dax stepped forward menacingly. “I had hoped you’d help us in this, but even if you won’t, at least keep out of our way. I don’t want you to be hurt, but I demand we have that information—”
I swiftly stepped between them, interrupting Dax. “Hush. There are still soldiers about. We don’t need to take all the other Histories away. I’ve asked Kiel for his own book because he has all the relevant history copied in there.” I leaned forward to take Kiel’s arm. “I know how much it means to you—what risks you’ve taken to create it. But its purpose is clear to me now. It’s much needed.” Dax shifted restlessly at my side, anxious to be going, but I stood in front of him, shielding Kiel for the moment.
“You’ll use it against the Queen?” Kiel looked troubled.
“I’ll use it for the Exiles,” I said softly. “And for the Remainders.”
Kiel looked solely at me. I didn’t think he was as certain of Dax’s motivation as he was of mine. “And for yourself, Maen? Will it help you? I know Hann is the same man as Dax to you.” His head tilted as if acknowledging Dax, but he didn’t want to meet his eyes. His cheeks were flushed with nervousness. “The Exile soldier is your Bronzeman, I always knew it. Will it help you be reconciled with him?”
I smiled. Dax stood at my side, his impatient breath on my neck. “We’re already reconciled. But I hope it’ll make my life safer, yes—and life for all of us.”
Kiel nodded. “You may take it. But I’m on my way to the House of Physic. All the scribes have been called in over the last few days, to be reassessed for our Devotions. I can’t take you back to the Library just yet.”
Dax’s eyes widened with eagerness at the mention of the House of Physic. He was anticipating an opportunity to steal supplies for the camp. I also knew his wound would benefit from more accelerated medicines to help knit the flesh and muscles. I turned to Dax. “I know my own way to the Library. Go with Kiel. Take what you can from the Household so long as you’re not seen. I’ll get the book and meet you both here again.”
“It’ll be guarded,” Dax said, reluctantly. “I should wait for the organized attack. We mustn’t take additional risks.”
“Mistress Chloe is in charge now,” I said. “She’s one of Seleste’s sisters, but I believe she’s sympathetic to the Exiles in some way. Maybe she’s the one who helped in the past. You said you had plans of the Household, and supplies had been smuggled out before?”
Dax nodded. “But I don’t know who was the contact in the city for that. It was dealt with by Eila and now Flora.”
“Mistress Chloe has been very encouraging to me,” Kiel added quickly. “She’s shown far more interest in the scribes than any other Mistress.”
I smiled at his eagerness, knowing what a charming young woman Chloe was. “Kiel, show Dax the best way to approach Physic in secret. Be careful, though, she still has a Royal Guard.” Darius was often in Chloe’s Guard, and I knew better than to underestimate him. But I assumed he’d transferred back to Seleste’s personal Guard, particularly since I was out of favor. “And, Dax, look after Kiel.” He nodded and the two of them moved swiftly away around the back of the nearest building, Kiel leading the way.
IT DIDN’T take me long to reach the Library. I found that part of the city surprisingly quiet for the time of day. I kept hidden as best I could, but saw very few soldiers. Maybe what Flora had said was true, that the preliminary attacks by the Exiles on the western walls had persuaded Seleste to move most of her Guard to that area. In recent weeks, she hadn’t shared information with me about her military decisions.
Remainder servants were going about their usual daily business, however, and I saw many scribes leaving the building in small groups, scurrying across the courtyard toward the House of Physic. Obviously they’d been called for assessment, as Kiel had been. I wondered how often this happened and who attended the Library when they were away. It didn’t seem as if there would be many left in the building at the rate they were exiting.
I decided to check inside the Library first, through the window I’d used before. I’d be able to see the front desk and most of the lower floor from that vantage point. As I’d hoped, the room was empty of scribes. I could be in and out of the storage room in minutes if I were careful. I turned to slip along the side of the building and enter through the front.
That was when I first saw the other soldier. I had no excuse for missing him, except I was concentrating on my mission and unused to my role as spy. But I should have heard the approaching sound of his boots and the soft creak of leather from the straps of his breastplate. In a battle situation, I’d have been far more alert. Instead my heart stumbled with the shock, and for that second, I wished I’d learned some of Dax’s intelligence skills. But maybe there’d never be the time for that, for I’d also mistimed my reaction to the icy hiss of the soldier’s sword being drawn from its sheath. It now extended in front of him in a firm line with my throat, bringing me to an immediate halt.
Darius!
“MAEN.” HE recognized me, of course, so I assumed he spoke my name only in contempt.
“Darius.” I nodded, keeping my voice as calm as I could. “Lower your weapon, soldier. I haven’t drawn against you.”
He smiled. “Indeed. But I have no intention of allowing that to happen. You’re here under suspicion of treason, and I’m arresting you in the name of the Queen. Drop your weapons at your feet and step back.”
I put my hand to my belt but didn’t draw my sword. Nor did I release it to the ground. “You’re talking nonsense. I’m just a civilian in his rest hours, looking to amuse himself in the Royal Library. I’m not aware there’s anything treasonous in that.”
He was still smiling, but his eyes were cold and dark. His handsome features twisted with spite. “Don’t play the fool with me any longer, Maen. That’s all you’ve ever done, played a game with us all. You’ve been the mournful whipping boy in front of the Queen, the confused, reluctant lover in front of me. Who knows the real Maen, I wonder?”
I was silent. My hand flexed gently over the hilt of my sword though I doubted I could draw it before Darius ran me through. I had another, shorter dagger strapped to my back, that I could grasp and throw with a single movement if I had the chance. The two blades were strapped across me on the same belt, for ease of armoring. My eyes flickered quickly to either side of the courtyard, but it was deserted apart from us.
He saw me assessing my situation and laughed softly. “There’s no one to help you now. No misguided scribe, no fugitive Royal Mistress, and certainly no Bronzeman from your previous inglorious career, back from the dead.” My eyes narrowed, and a look of triumph lit up his face. “Wondering how I know so much about your movements? I’ve been watching you for a long time now. Listening and watching and learning what you really do with your rest hours.”
“You’ve been spying on me?” I made my voice sound bored. “A tiresome job, Darius, for a man who looks for the excitement and sensual self-satisfaction that you do.”
He shifted slightly, getting a better grip on his sword, though its aim remained true. “Another of your tricks, Gold Warrior. I’ve found far more amusement in your activities than I ever imagined I
would. And plenty of exercise too. The route to the Exile camp is a torturous one, but one I’m familiar with now after several trips. I can approach it from many directions too—most notably from here, the Library.” I tried to hide my reactions, but his eyes were sharp to the slightest change in my expression. “Let’s not pretend anymore. I know you’ve betrayed us to the Exiles, that you’ve met with their leader, that you’ve been coupling with him as if you were both nothing more than Remainder slaves. And I knew you were returning to the city today, so I’ve been waiting to… welcome you.”
“I don’t need your welcome,” I said. “I don’t need anything from you.” I wasn’t sure how long he’d been following me, but I had to assume it had been ever since I’d first left the city with Kiel to go searching for Mistress Flora.
He laughed again. “Your defense is poor and your responses unimaginative. Is that what you’ve learned from rutting with your immature boy? What possible satisfaction can he give you, after the novelty of his young fumbles has worn away? He never finished his training, I believe. Never learned the real skills of being a companion.” His smile twisted with something that wasn’t amusement. “He could have learned far more under the Silver Captains. Spread wide under.”
I breathed as calmly as I could. “Then it’s lucky I prefer a naive companion to a loathsome spy.”
He frowned and flushed deeply. “It doesn’t matter anymore. You won’t have the luxury of choice now, for no one else will meet up with you in the Detention Cells. You may be thankful for my company in the last hours before execution, assuming the Queen allows you the usual final request. I’ve no qualms about coupling anywhere you like—in fact, I confess to a certain thrill at the thought of gripping those cold bars as you thrust your cock into me from behind.”
“It’s a thrill you can savor alone.” I shifted almost imperceptibly, balancing my weight onto my leading side. “I’ve no wish to feature in any of your future sexual adventures. My experience of them in the past was tedium enough.”