by May Dawson
I didn’t like any of that.
“I liked it better when you were scared of me.” I snapped.
My finger was still against his chest. His hand was a flicker, moving impossibly fast, before his hand was firmly wrapped around mine. He tapped the bracelet on my wrist meaningfully.
“I wasn’t scared. Just wary. Ignorance is dangerous enough. Ignorance coupled with a little power…” He shrugged. “But your powers are all locked up now.”
Furious, I yanked my wrist away from him. The red hot rage I felt made my vision dark around the corners, but it wasn’t going to help me right now. I needed to focus. Calm down. Hurting the man responsible for the beasts was the only thing that mattered. Not Cade.
“You’re going to be useful in unlocking her powers if you keep inspiring that kind of fury,” Nix noted, his voice neutral, almost bored.
Cade’s eyes were still watching me, careful, assessing. I hated the way he looked at me, like he could see right through my anger to the feelings beneath it, the ones I didn’t want to think about. I was afraid I’d fall apart.
I turned away from him first, storming toward the door. It made me feel like I had been the one to lose that round.
“Hold up.” Nix’s voice caught me. “You’ve got to be in uniform to walk into the dining hall.”
“Fantastic.” I turned at the door.
Nix picked up a garbage bag of clothes from the floor and tossed it at me. “Here. I guessed at your size. If I was wrong, I don’t really care.”
I caught the bag against my chest. “Thanks so much.”
I didn’t know what the hell I did in my past life to deserve all this bad karma: Cade, Nix, and a fucking school uniform.
Chapter Eleven
When I glanced at myself in the mirror, it was hard to believe that twenty-four hours ago, I was wearing a pretty dress, twirling in front of the mirror with my friends. My friends. I had to get in touch with them and tell them I was okay. Kate would be freaking out.
The Academy uniform was a pair of black leather pants, black boots, a fitted blue t-shirt for first-years, and—Lord help me—my choice of weapon.
Cade had handed me a sword in a harness and told me not to lose his blade. Maybe I should be thankful that I was not wearing a plaid skirt, but my god, this was ridiculous too. Apparently, to help us get comfortable carrying weapons, we carry them all the time. Including to eat a cheeseburger.
Whatever. At least I’d never be caught weaponless in a world where there were all kinds of monsters.
“You did a remarkably good job guessing my shoe size, not that you care,” I told Nix as I walked back into the living room. I was suspicious about how he managed to be that accurate. But the shoes I was wearing were comfortable, even though I had to fight the urge to limp on the cuts and bruises.
“You fucked up your harness,” Cade said, cocking his finger at me.
Reluctantly, I went to him.
As he pulled at the straps, briskly adjusting the harness, his fingers brushed against my neck. A pleasant lightness rose in my chest at the casual, familiar way he touched me.
Apparently, I was in an even more deeply fucked-up headspace than I realized.
“Let’s go.” Nix slung his own harness back over his shoulders. He wore a black t-shirt, and when he turned his back to me, it said INSTRUCTOR in two-inch block white letters.
“Instructor in what?” I asked, stopping to study him as he opens the door.
“In not destroying things you don’t intend to destroy.” He put his hand on my shoulder impatiently and steered me out into the hall. “Lessons you desperately need.”
I turned back to Cade. “What about you?”
He was tucking his 9mm into the holster at the back of his jeans. Instead of answering, he turned. The same letters were on the back of his t-shirt.
Both of them were muscular and athletic, their t-shirts hugging their shoulders before draping loosely over their lean waists. I tucked my hair behind my ears, feeling impatient with myself for noticing.
“They don’t let students run around in the world endangering themselves and others,” he said. “Nix and I just graduated.”
“And he does mean just.” Nix said.
“And you still live in the dorm?”
“Yeah,” Nix said. “Just like you, kid, we don’t have anywhere else to go. Let’s eat, all right?”
Kid. Liam always called me kid, and the words made longing rise in my chest. I turned away so he wouldn’t see the hungry look I thought might’ve just come over my face.
I’d never hear Liam call me kid again. It was the kind of word you could use to push someone away, but on Liam’s lips it had meant something like daughter, even though he’d never tried to take my father’s place.
It didn’t mean anything nice when Nix called me kid. It meant he thought I was young and stupid. But my heart still lurched, because it reminded me of Liam.
Neither of them noticed that I was suddenly reeling. Cade had his back to me, locking the door to their room. Nix was already striding down the hall to the stairs.
Nix seemed like the nice one out of the two of them—not that this was saying much—and I hurried to catch up to him.
The dorm seemed abandoned as we headed down the stairs and across the foyer. “Where is everyone?”
“Already at dinner. You’ll make quite the entrance.” Nix said. As usual, he sounded bored. But I had to wonder how that squared with what I’d overheard when it was just him and Cade, when he’d seemed excited by my power, eager to teach me.
“Fantastic.”
The three of us crossed the green lawn to a low-slung white building. When he pushed open the door ahead of me, there was a guy on a microphone standing on a chair in the center of the room. The rest of the room was four long rows of tables. Green, blue, brown and black shirts were mixed between the rows, so the seating wasn’t divided by year.
“And for Coville house, forty-four points so far today, putting them in the lead!” The man on the chair shouted.
“Hey ya!” Nix shouted, pumping his fist in the air, surprising the hell out of me. But one row of tables was already on their feet, shouting and pounding their fists on the tabletops until the plates jumped. The din made me wince.
Cade noticed and said, “Point competition between the houses. And…we like to be loud. You have to do something to stay sane around here.”
“Is this…sane?” I asked, although I could barely hear myself over the racket.
Cade shrugged. “Close enough.”
Then he reached out and slugged Nix playfully in the chest. “You’re not really in Coville anymore, you know that, right?”
Nix shrugged. “I like yelling.”
“Oh, I’m sure Deidra will discover that firsthand soon.” The look Cade flashed my way was almost mischievous. “Come on.”
As they led me to a table toward the middle of the room, I could feel everyone staring at me.
There were three empty seats at the wooden table. Nix sat across from me, and Cade was already sliding into the other seat, so I had to sit next to him. When I did, I breathed in the distracting, pleasant scent of his aftershave again.
There were five other guys at the table. Cade pointed them all out. “This is my brother, Tristan.”
I probably could’ve guessed that from the dark blond hair and the chiseled good lucks. Tristan flashed me a grin.
“Blue shirt too,” I said.
“Yeah, he’s a kid,” Cade said, which made Tristan roll his eyes. Cade pointed around the table at the other five good-looking, built guys. “And these guys are Eli, Killian, Axel and Holden. They’re all part of our house.”
“Let’s just assume I’m not going to remember any of your names,” I said. “Remind me later.”
Nix whistled. “Look, Cade, you two should share an instant bond. She has your winning social skills.”
“Sorry, I was homeschooled,” Cade deadpanned in response.
; “This is Deidra Ainsley,” Nix said to the table. “She’s had a long day. Excuse her…”
I thought there was going to be an end to that sentence, but apparently, I just needed to be pre-emptively forgiven for whatever I might do or say.
Actually, that would be helpful.
“Tomorrow morning Deidra will be joining everyone for classes,” Cade said. “Tristan, your schedules will match up. Help Deidra out… she’s new to all of this.”
“She’s starting school late?” Eli frowned.
“She needs somewhere to go, right?” Killian said. “And that’s what we do. We’re somewhere to go.”
He nodded at me encouragingly, a quick bob of his dark red hair.
He sounded so kind that I looked down at my plate, embarrassed by his attention and afraid I was about to lose it. I preferred being angry over feeling… lost.
I looked back up almost right away, a smile written across my face, but I had the funny feeling I hadn’t fooled anyone.
I was about to say something sarcastic, anything, to cover up my feelings, when Cade passed me a bowl of salad.
Meals at the academy were served family style. Dishing out food kept me busy for a few minutes as I served myself. The food wasn’t bad; there was meatloaf, salad, roasted Brussel sprouts and sautéed squash and zucchini.
“This is…very healthy.” I said, glancing down the table to see if I was missing anything. There was a glass of iced water already set by my plate, and two more glass pitchers of iced water on the table. “Is there soda somewhere? Coffee? Dessert? Tell me there’s going to be dessert.”
“There is not,” Cade said.
Tristan made air quotes with his fingers. “Warrior food only.”
Great. I was trapped in the land of health nuts. “There’s no coffee?”
“It’s seven at night, Deidra,” Cade said. “You’re going to have a hard enough time sleeping as it is tonight.”
“Is he always such a dad?” I ask Tristan.
Tristan nodded in response. “Always.”
Cade shifted, and I could feel his impatience, his wariness. Apparently, I was walking his line for what he could tolerate before he felt the need to ruin my goddamn life.
“You’re starting late, so you can audit fall classes, and we’ll see if there’s any chance you can catch up to stay with this first-year class, or if you need to start over in the fall,” Cade told me.
I didn’t plan to be here in the fall. No one had given me a choice about coming here. If they could teach me how to use this weird magic, then great, but I wasn’t settling in.
“So it doesn’t matter if I show up for class?” I asked jauntily.
Cade flashed me a look that asked, why are you like this? “Oh, it matters. Eat up. Nix is taking you for your first training session, and then we’re going to see Malcolm. We can talk about your powers once we know more about them.”
His words about distracting me earlier echoed in my head. They really did have a plan to keep me busy. “Do I get a say in any of this?”
“No,” Cade said. He half-stood from the table, looking down the dining table. “Where’s Hanna?”
Tristan said, “I saw her heading for the library.”
“Oh? Is that like the time you saw her heading for the gym, and yet it turned out she’d walked right past the gym to meet her boyfriend in the woods?”
“I don’t think so,” Tristan said. “She was curious to meet her new roommate.”
“Are you sure you should put the two juvenile delinquents together?” Nix asked Cade.
“I’m not a juvenile delinquent,” I said impatiently. “Just because I have black nail polish, you’re stereotyping me?”
“You were kicked out of your prom,” Cade said flatly.
Whistles went up around the table. “I want to hear that story,” someone said.
“It was Homecoming,” I said. “It’s not as good a story as it sounds.”
Ignoring the easy, familiar conversations that flowed around me, I poked my food around my plate. I wasn’t hungry. It had been a long time since I ate last, since ice cream the night before. But when I thought about the smooth, cold taste of ice cream on my tongue while Liam dug into his pie, my stomach felt full and my mouth was suddenly sour.
I rarely had much of an appetite for squash anyway. Does anyone get excited about eating squash?
Cade leaned over to me. His voice was soft and intimate in my ear when he said, “I know you might not feel hungry, but you’ve got to keep your strength up.”
“I’m fine.”
“You want answers?” He leaned back. His own plate was already clean.
I expected him to say something else, and then I realized that was it; he was threatening not to tell me what I wanted to know if I didn’t eat my Brussel sprouts.
I couldn’t stay here.
Suddenly I felt that in my bones. The people at the table were trading stories and banter, and voices rose up all around me, but I didn’t belong here. I didn’t want to be bossed around like this.
I just needed to get the info I needed, and then, like my uncle, I’d go solo.
It worked out so well for him.
The thought bubbled up, unwanted.
I scooped up a forkful of squash and shoved it into my mouth. Whatever. Let Cade win this round.
I’d be gone before he knew it.
Chapter Twelve
“Done?” Nix stood as soon as I’d swallowed the last bite of meatloaf.
“Yep.” I said a quick goodbye to the table and followed Nix through the crowd. When he shoved open the door, it was already dark outside again. The clouds hung low and eerie in the sky, gray and oppressive, blocking out the stars.
“We’re going to do some exercises to access your power. Malcolm asked for a report when he meets with you.”
“Don’t get your expectations up,” I muttered. I still wasn’t convinced I had any powers, no matter how many times they said it.
Strangely, for the first time I realized I’d be disappointed if I didn’t. I wanted to be special. Despite Cade’s initial reaction, I hadn’t hurt anyone. I’d left behind four bodies in that fire: a girl who was already dead and three monsters. If I had magic, then I could fight back against the man responsible for the beasts. I could get revenge for Liam.
“Sure,” Nix said shortly. “It’s not like any of us have seen this before or know anything. No reason you should listen to anyone else.”
“Cade said that he’d never seen anything like me,” I said.
Nix snorted. “You’re not that special.”
“Do I have superpowers or am I not that special?” I asked saucily.
“Both,” Nix said.
He led me into the basement of the big white stone building. I followed him past an extensive gym, dojo, an indoor pool that made everything smell of chlorine. In the back, there were a handful of smaller training rooms.
I patted the elaborate rune painted on the door of the room in front of us. “Nice décor.”
“It’s a ward to make sure idiots with ‘superpowers’ don’t kill anyone,” he said. “Welcome to the Tank, your new home away from home. We’ll be spending a lot of time in here.”
“Great.”
“Together,” he called over his shoulder as he pushed the door open.
“Even better.”
Unlike Cade, Nix didn’t seem remotely affected by my attitude. When he closed the solid wooden door behind us, the only light was from the fluorescent lights overhead, which were protected by a cage of solid metal bars. Ominous detail. When I imagined myself sparking another explosion in this confined space, I couldn’t help but shift my weight impatiently.
We stood on plain wooden floorboards as he turned to face me.
“Might as well take off the sword and make yourself comfortable,” he said. He was already removing his own harness before he carefully placed his sword on the ground. I followed suit.
“Bring those over here.” He in
dicated my wrists with a quick gesture.
I held my hands out. He touched the bracelets, murmuring something I couldn’t make out, and they fell from my wrists, hitting the ground with a clang.
“They’ll come off for training,” he said. “You’ll wear them any time you aren’t in this room with me, unless I tell you otherwise.”
“So I can take them off? Myself?”
He hesitated. “You can, in theory. Let’s work up to that level of trust.”
“I’m supposed to trust you though, right?” My eyes narrowed at him as he crossed his arms over his chest. Once again, here we were. I was supposed to trust them. But what did I get in return?
“You don’t have to.” He was back to his usual bored, cold Nix self, but that hesitation didn’t quite match. “But this is going to be much worse if you don’t trust me.”
“Much worse? I’m not sure how my life can get much worse right now, Nix.”
He inclined his head. “Point taken.”
He walked backward a few steps from me as I toss the bracelet on top of my sword. He was all grace, agile and athletic despite his height and the power in his muscular frame.
“What happened right before your magic took over?” he asked. “How were you feeling?”
Liam stared up at the stars…
I shook my head. “Not great. I was feeling not great.”
“I know you don’t want to talk about this with me,” he said impatiently. “I hate talking too. But in your emotional state, you accessed magic you never had before. Right?”
“Maybe.”
“Christ, Deidra. Trust me, you did.”
“How would you know?” I demanded.
He flipped his hand out to me, his long, deft fingers flexing. Flame bloomed in the palm of his hand.
“For the most part, witches and Hunters aren’t too friendly with each other,” he said. “But still. Here I am. Here you are.”
The red and gold flames dancing across his palm, without burning him, were mesmerizing.