‘Oh, yeah. But more than that, I was angry.’ He captured a strand of her hair in his fingers and twirled it around his finger absently. ‘I went to every family expecting to be rejected just like I believed my mother had rejected me. Later, when I discovered she may not have abandoned me on purpose—that she may actually have tried to protect me by leaving me at the shopping centre—I was angry with the authorities because they hadn’t been honest with me. They’d only told me my mum was dead.’
She looked at him through her tears. ‘I’m sure she must’ve loved you, Jack. I’m glad you found out the truth.’
His features softened. ‘I remember her as being loving. She used to tell me stories every night then sing me to sleep.’
‘She wouldn’t have made the time for you like that if she hadn’t loved you,’ Grace told him, desperate to provide him with some comfort.
‘My anger always escalated at Christmas time. I hated the Christmas trees each family erected and I refused to take part in putting any decorations up. When one lady insisted I hang my Christmas stocking, I came out from my bedroom in the middle of the night, found a pair of scissors and cut every stocking into strips.’
Oh dear. ‘It’s hardly surprising you reacted like that given your experiences. Did they realise why?’
‘No. They should’ve. At the time my legal name was Jack St. Michaels so given all the publicity about my abandonment I would’ve expected them to realise how I’d react at Christmas. But, if they did make the connection, they didn’t make any allowances for what I’d been through. They only tried all the harder to force me to accept Christmas celebrations. One foster father told me I was a “bloody spoilt little whelp who needed to face Christmas and get on with it”.’
‘How heartless!’
‘I set fire to his tree.’
‘Oh my God!’ Grace clapped her hand over her mouth, both stunned and amused, even though she knew it was no laughing matter. ‘Did you really?’
‘Yep. Thank God their smoke detector went off, otherwise I might’ve burned the entire house down and killed them in their beds.’ He dropped his hand away from her hair. ‘Of course, that was never my intention.’
Geez. ‘How old were you then?’
‘Nine. Old enough to know better but too hurt and angry to care, and I certainly hadn’t thought through how serious the consequences of my actions might’ve been.’
Grace bit down on her lip. ‘I’m surprised you weren’t sent to a juvenile detention facility.’
‘Thankfully, I was still two months too young. The age of criminal responsibility in this country is ten so I was unable to be arrested or charged with a crime. They put me under a local child curfew which meant I couldn’t be in a public place between nine pm and six am unless I was accompanied by an adult. It didn’t bother me as I always chose not to be in crowds unless I had to be. The authorities also put me under a child safety order for twelve months which meant I was placed under the supervision of a youth offending team.’
‘Did they provide you with counselling? Is that what turned your life around?’
‘No.’ The strong column of his throat moved up and down as he swallowed. When he spoke again his voice seemed to come from far away, and there was no longer any hint of anger or frustration in his tone. ‘My friend, Lizzie, turned my life around.’
Grace’s heart clenched. ‘She must be very special.’
‘She was extremely special.’
‘Are you still friends with her?’
He closed his eyes and his shoulders lifted as he inhaled a deep breath. ‘We lost touch.’
‘I thought I’d been through a lot but you’ve known grief on many different levels.’ How unfair life had been to Jack. Her admiration of him increased knowing he’d overcome so much tragedy and risen to meteoric heights. How easy it would’ve been for him to feel sorry for himself—to wallow in his grief and his anger and to feel the world owed him. Yet, here he was trying to help others through his philanthropy and trying to protect them in many ways through the work he did safeguarding against cybercrime.
He stood up. ‘So now you know why I’ve gone overseas every Christmas to escape from all the memories.’
She could totally understand it.
‘There’s no escape tonight, but you have an ally in me, Jack.’ She got to her feet and reached up to place her hands on his shoulders. ‘I’ll be there with you and I’ll know what you’re going through. Anytime you start feeling like all the bad memories are caving in on you I want you to look at me and know that I believe you can get through it.’
Jack smiled. ‘I do believe I can get through it, Grace, because I’ll look at you and I’ll dwell on all the pleasurable times we’ve shared.’
‘Oh!’ There was nothing she could do to stem the tide of heat that started in her chest and spread out to her extremities. ‘You’d better not let me know you’re looking at me now, or I’ll probably make so many mistakes, this booking will be my last.’
His arms wrapped around her waist and he drew her closer. ‘No. We’ll both get through tonight because I have every intention it will be a success on multiple levels.’
‘That’s a bit cryptic.’
‘No time to explain now.’ He brushed his lips over hers and even that briefest of contact made her toes curl and her knees weaken as her body craved far more. ‘We’re now running late but I do appreciate your caring, Grace. You have a beautiful soul.’
‘So do you, Jack.’
‘Let’s go.’
‘One more kiss. Just one more kiss before we leave,’ she entreated. ‘In the limousine … Well, that’s a different story. We can probably spend the entire drive kissing.’
‘You’re the first woman I’ve ever met who hasn’t been worried about her lipstick smudging.’ He proceeded to deliver a scorching trail of kisses along her collarbone and up the column of her neck.
After the heaviness of their discussion, and to try to divert herself from thoughts of dragging Jack back to bed, she tried to lighten the mood. ‘It better damned well not be smudged. I paid a small fortune for this lipstick and it’s advertised to put the ‘stick’ in lipstick and not to kiss off.’
‘Really?’ He arched an eyebrow in disbelief. ‘And just when did you buy this and who did you plan to be kissing.’
‘At least six weeks ago and you.’
His eyes widened. ‘You planned to kiss me six weeks ago?’
‘I planned to kiss you long before that, I just didn’t think it’d ever happen.’
‘Oh, Grace, be careful. I don’t want to break your heart.’
‘Better to have kissed and lost than never to have kissed at all?’ she misquoted.
‘You weren’t a virgin, Grace. Don’t expect me to believe you’d never kissed before.’
‘Well, there are kisses and then there are your kisses.’
‘You’re an outrageous flirt. I think we’d better leave now while we still can.’ He lowered his head to her ear and whispered a few of the things he’d rather be doing with her tonight.
Grace’s legs wanted to buckle so he’d have no choice but to carry her to bed, but she knew it was important Jack faced tonight’s office Christmas party and got through it in one piece. ‘As much as I’d love to oblige, it’s time for me to provide the music and you to face it!’
Chapter 17
Walking into the office party, holding Jack’s hand, Grace was determined to distract him from any horrific memories that might resurface.
Her hand tightened around his when they were confronted with the first of several enormous, decorated Christmas trees, but Jack drew her closer and bent his head to whisper in her ear, ‘It’s okay. I feel calmer with you by my side.’ Grace smiled her instant relief only to be told, ‘Your smile is more dazzling than all the lights on the tree, and your smile reminds me of all the special times we’ve shared.’
They’d planned to arrive before the party had started, but being late, Jack had to run the gau
ntlet of the main office party before getting to the room set aside for Grace’s music. It was doubtful anyone else would’ve picked up on his unease. Grace knew because his fingers held hers in a vice-like grip as ‘Santa’ approached them ringing a bell and calling, ‘Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!’
Grace stretched up to Jack’s ear and whispered, ‘Think about Vienna.’
The circulation returned to her hand. Thankfully, her fingers hadn’t been crushed and she’d still be able to play the piano tonight!
The night seemed to progress well.
Even as Grace played, her eyes constantly strayed to where Jack stood, evaluating how he was coping and ready to bring each piece to a smooth ending if she suspected for a moment he was starting to choke. She didn’t need to, although she did notice a pattern.
As employees approached Jack, they must’ve wished him a Merry Christmas because she saw his spine stiffen. As the conversations progressed, Jack’s deeply attractive laughter rang out. Over the course of the evening she noticed his initial tension lessening with each greeting. Perhaps he was becoming desensitised.
When she had a break from a set of pieces, his arm was around her waist and she thrilled to his touch. Grace was quite happy to be seen as his adoring lover in public because that was the truth of their relationship. And, as much as Jack might’ve started out trying to engineer a fake relationship, Grace was convinced what she and Jack had was real. She was certain he wouldn’t have confided his deepest anxieties to her had she not held a special place in his life. Also, although she didn’t have a wealth of experience with men, she was sure no man could be as attentive and tender a lover as Jack if he took a woman to bed simply for the sake of sating sexual needs.
Known for his one-night only policy, Jack had given her far many more nights and he’d invested in her day to day worries like any lover would. Of course he didn’t see the parallels. Grace wasn’t going to draw his attention to them in case the realisation was enough to scare him in the other direction.
As far as Grace was concerned, their relationship was progressing totally along the lines of any other normal relationship. Jack had even driven to Oxford with her one weekend to meet Daniel.
Daniel had always been a huge fan of both Amadeo and Jack Mancini. The meeting had been a hit and Dan had decided Jack was totally in love with Grace. She didn’t disillusion her brother.
Now, Grace played the last notes of her piece then rose from the piano stool. One more set and they’d be on their way back to Jack’s place.
Each break she had, she joined Jack and he introduced her to whichever employee he was speaking with at the time. There’d been quite a bit of interest in her and not merely because of her music. Naturally enough, everyone was curious about the woman who’d been photographed at various events with Jack and who’d not only become a regular fixture on his arm over the last few weeks but had been reported to have moved in with him.
Grace revelled in being the other half of their couple. Each break, she couldn’t help but press closely against him, or stretch up every now and again and brush her lips over whatever part of his face she could reach. Her need to touch him was like an addiction. It was fantastic that she could lean over and whisper something in his ear in an open display of intimacy.
At the moment, Jack was having a conversation with a very colourfully dressed woman who was probably in her mid-sixties.
‘Sweetheart.’ Jack reached out to Grace as she approached. ‘I’d like to introduce you to Sadie McGovern, who is my very special guest.’
‘Hi, Sadie.’
‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Grace.’ The older woman’s eyes twinkled and the smile curving her mouth made Grace wonder if there was some mysterious undercurrent she was missing. ‘It’s been a very great pleasure to have been able to listen to your music tonight.’
‘Thank you. I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it.’
‘I asked Sadie here specifically so she could hear your brilliant playing.’ Jack’s eyes were warm with pride.
‘You’re not part of Mancini IT?’ Grace asked.
Sadie laughed. ‘I wouldn’t know a megabyte from a gigabyte! But, I do know talent when I see it and you, my dear, have a very great talent the likes of which I’ve not seen in forty-five years in the entertainment industry.’
The entertainment industry.
Sadie McGovern.
The penny didn’t only drop, it clanged onto the ground.
‘Oh gosh! You’re the Sadie McGovern.’ Sadie was entertainment royalty.
The older woman smiled graciously. ‘You’re good for the ego, Grace. I like you more and more.’
‘Sadie doesn’t usually scout for talent these days—’ Jack summoned a passing waiter, took an orange juice from the silver tray and handed it to Grace, ‘—but, I managed to talk her into coming to hear you.’
He’d promised her an audition with a top entertainment manager and arranged one with the very best.
‘And, I’m very glad you did.’ Sadie pointed to Grace’s hands. ‘Yours are multi-million dollar hands, Grace, and I want to launch you to the cosmos and beyond.’
Grace immediately turned to Jack for qualification. ‘Jack?’
‘It’s all real, sweetheart. Sadie’s very impressed and wants to take you under her wing and organise performances for you that’ll turn you into a star.’
‘She’s already a star, Jack,’ Sadie declared. ‘The clouds have just been in the way, stopping her shining on our world. I’m here to chase those clouds away and let you beam your brilliance to concert-goers around the globe.’
She couldn’t be serious. ‘Surely it’s not so easy?’
‘Not usually. But you have the talent, Jack’s given you the opportunity and I have the connections and knowledge to ensure it happens.’
Grace clutched at her glass of juice and looked from Jack to Sadie and back again in uncertainty. ‘Any second now I feel someone is going to jump out with a hidden camera and tell me this is all a joke.’
‘As you come to know me, you’ll realise I never joke about talent and I never make promises I can’t keep,’ Sadie told her.
Jack placed his hand on her shoulder. ‘How do you feel about meeting with Sadie and seeing what she can offer you?’
‘I’m so shocked I think it’s going to take me a while to process.’
‘I didn’t want to forewarn you in case it made you nervous,’ he explained. ‘I had no doubt that Sadie would be impressed, but of course, the decision is up to you.’
Grace knew it was a golden opportunity. She knew she should be thrilled—and part of her was. Another part of her was running scared.
Seize this moment. Don’t let fear stand in your way.
‘I’d definitely like to hear what you have to say.’ But even as she uttered the words, Grace was uncertain.
‘Thank you for coming, Sadie,’ Jack said. ‘There’s a lot for Grace to think about over the weekend. I’ll have my assistant call you on Monday. If Grace wants to proceed, we can set up a meeting.’
‘No.’ Sadie shook her head. ‘I’ll have my assistant cancel all my meetings on Monday morning and both of you be at my office first thing. Now I’ve heard you, Grace, I’m not going to risk letting you slip through my fingers. It might not be good business practice to sound too eager, but I definitely want to sign you to my stable of performers.’
Grace couldn’t credit what she was hearing.
‘What do you think, sweetheart?’
‘I’m stunned. This is all unbelievable.’
‘Are you keen to meet with Sadie on Monday morning and listen to her proposals?’
Grace’s mind whirled at a dizzying speed, but she couldn’t think of any reason not to find out more. ‘Yes. Thank you.’ Why not?
‘Done,’ Jack agreed. ‘Right now, will you please excuse us, Sadie, while I whisk Grace over to meet my right-hand man before she starts her last set?’
Sadie lifted a forefinger and wagged it at Jac
k. ‘As long as that’s all you’re doing.’ Then she told Grace, ‘Don’t let this man try to talk you into allowing him to be your manager. For one, he’s already richer than any young man of his age has a right to be so he doesn’t need to make any more money off your back. Secondly, he may know talent when he sees it, but he hasn’t got a clue what to do with it and he’ll never make you the brightest star in the universe like I can.’
Grace begged to differ. Jack had already launched her into the cosmos with his lovemaking and made her see a trillion shooting stars on her journeys there.
‘Don’t worry, Sadie. I know my limitations. I know you’re the best in the business and that’s why I called you,’ Jack said pointedly. Then he murmured close to Grace’s ear, ‘But she’s wrong because I know exactly what to do with you. Shall we skip your last set and go home?’
‘Oh go and get a room, you two,’ Sadie told them. ‘You’re making me feel positively old.’
‘Thank you so much for coming and listening, and for all your encouragement,’ Grace said rather belatedly.
‘You’re a very lucky young lady, Grace. Hold on to him for as long as you can.’
To say Grace was stunned by the entire encounter would’ve been an understatement. When Jack urged her to leave early and whispered all the ways he planned to make love to her for the rest of the night, she resisted.
She insisted on playing the last set of music in an attempt to bring herself back to reality—to ground herself and process all Sadie had said and the offer she’d made. It sounded unbelievable, but even if she was good enough and the dream was within her reach, did she really want it now?
How would a performance career impact on her relationship with Jack?
But, even though you’ve been hopeful, Jack’s always told you never to expect a future with him.
Was this his way of opting out?
Was he ready to end their relationship and this was his way of letting her down gently?
The ramifications of the offer sat heavily with Grace even though she knew she should be bursting at the seams with excitement.
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