by James Beamon
“Don’t you remember Fort Law?” Melvin asked. “Nothing stays dead around this thing. All you’ll be doing is creating more zombies, and Rich would be making flaming zombies. In the end, we’ll being stuck in the middle of a zombie sandwich as the fresh meat.”
They were quiet for awhile. Melvin chewed his lip and went over all the factors again, like the perfect solution was there, waiting for him to discover it. Nothing came.
“I’ll check in at the guard house at like two, three in the morning,” Jason said. “We may be able to sneak past the guards. We don’t have a lot of time to plan, but we have some. Let’s make the most of it.”
After all their talking, the only thing they could agree to do was wait until later. Rich took out his books and began reading like he had done every night since leaving Nasreddin. Jason took off downstairs.
“Crazy people like drinking too,” he said with a shrug. “Just the fact that we’re setting up to do this job means there’s a place at the bar for me.”
Melvin didn’t have a thirst. Being cooped up in this little room didn’t hold any appeal either. He settled for walking about the town, hoping to find a yet undiscovered option.
The cultists greeted and exchanged small talk with him as he explored the streets. They talked about their loved ones and all the things they were planning to do once the shuffling dead were restored to life. Melvin tried to imagine all these folks with rage on their faces, him cutting them down with his bastard sword.
It’s twisted. But you just might have to kill every one of them, he thought.
Melvin found no secret ways to the cave. It’d have to be the guard house. No miraculous better option came to him in a moment of inspiration. Eventually, he found his way back to the inn room.
Jason was still gone. Rich, still reading, didn’t even look up as Melvin entered the room. Melvin took the empty bed and turned towards the wall in an attempt to sleep.
A vigorous shake roused him. Melvin didn’t know how he had found sleep, but he did until that happened. He turned, squinting in the light of the room. Jason stood over him. Rich was awake on his bed, looking up from his pages at Jason.
“Bad news,” Jason said, looking tired. “They go down to six guards at night, two asleep in different corners. Even if Lady Luck was on our side and strip-teasing to distract the guards, odds are we can’t stop all six from yelling out and waking the town.”
Jason shooed at Melvin with his bone hand. “Move over. We’ll plan in the morning. Sleep now.”
Melvin had to dodge Jason’s hefty aian frame as he dove onto the mattress. He stood, looking at Jason, whose body sprawled haphazardly across the mattress.
Rich closed his book.
“Over here,” he said, putting the books into his robe. “I’m not as bulky as Jason anyway.”
Rich turned to face the wall, leaving a decent amount of mattress space empty. It was better than the floor. Melvin sat on the bed and noticed something missing.
“No bowl of water tonight?” he asked.
Rich didn’t turn from the wall. “No. No water,” he said.
Melvin lay back to back with Rich. If nothing else, he was eager to get back to sleep.
He was semi-conscious when he first heard Jason’s voice. Before that, he had only a sense of comfort. His hand had found a soft, ruffled pillow that felt good to rub back and forth. Then Jason had said something and it jarred the comfort.
“Awkward,” was what he said.
Melvin’s eyes opened and the situation became clear. Rich was asleep next to him, but sometime during the night his hand had found Melvin’s hips. Melvin’s hand had found Rich’s hair, which he had been tousling as Rich breathed heavily into his neck.
They were spooning.
“This is his fault,” Melvin said, rising to a sitting position as Rich kept slumbering.
Jason’s eyes danced as he looked at Melvin. “You’re becoming more Zhufira, I mean, more woman, every day.”
Melvin laughed. “I was minding my business. He spooned me.”
Jason shook his head. “I can see farther. Rich wheezes when he runs. We’re all slaves of some kind to our bodies.”
Melvin thought about Nasreddin. Rich in his new clothes popped into his mind. He choked out the visual. It was something he didn’t want to think about.
“All the better we hurry up and get back, then, isn’t it?” Melvin asked.
“You bet,” Jason said behind a wan smile.
They woke Rich with little planned other than to watch the town. Perhaps an opportunity would present itself. If nothing changed, the standing plan was still to run into the guardhouse at two in the morning and start carnage.
Out in the streets, the morning autumn air was crisp. Melvin was glad the Hierophant had given him the cloak. This mountain town was no place for underdressed warrior girls.
An hour of watching the town yielded nothing but pleasant cultists going about the start of their day. Some hauled barrels, others moved wheelbarrows full of random materials and still others did nothing but roam about being friendly. Then Melvin saw dust rise in the distance, moving toward the town.
Melvin started to worry as the dust column grew closer. With their luck, it’d be an army of resurrection seekers, all with their two corpse minimum. They should have just gone in last night, unprepared as they were.
The thing stirring the dust got clearer at the edge of town. It was a rickety half-tank, half-train that barely moved faster than a power walk, it was so beaten up and broken looking. A guy in goggles drove it.
Melvin’s breath caught in his throat. Next to the guy driving was a big man he instantly recognized. Runt Half-weagr. Right beside Runt was a little megrym, smiling a slick smile at Melvin like he had just bet the devil himself and won.
Chapter 29
Family
Mike was welcomed to Olukent by a parade of hugs. Not just his brother, but by Melvin’s two friends too. Then Jason and Rich went to hug Runt up, leaving Melvin to spout a million things at Mike.
“How’d you find me?” Melvin asked. “Man, I’m so glad you’re here. I was so worried after Fort Law. This is incredible. Now I don’t have to search all over this world for you after we’re done here and we can all go home and forget this ever happened. Aw man, it’s so good to see you, you just don’t know.”
“It’s good to see you too, bruh,” Mike said, stepping back from his brother’s embrace. “It’s no accident I’m here. I owe it all to Savvy’s mojo,” he finished, pointing to Savashbahar.
Savashbahar harrumphed and retreated from the group, going instead to lean against the stopped caravan. She was still mad at Mike for being a Hollower, even accused him of lying in his shimmer. Even though he had apologized and explained it all and told her he hadn’t known, she wasn’t about to smile about it. He couldn’t blame her; no matter how you sliced it, it had to feel like cavorting with the enemy.
Probably didn’t set good with her coming to meet a whole group of Hollowers. It was going to get cold on the caravan.
Ruki Provos tapped Runt on his shoulder. “Who’s the beautiful barbarian girl?” he asked.
“Mike Ballztowallz’s brother,” Runt said flatly.
Ruki raised an eyebrow, looking like there was a question on his face he couldn’t begin to understand or ask.
“You and Runt and your other friends couldn’t have come at a better time,” Melvin said. “We need your help.”
“Help?” Mike asked, his face turning sour at the mention of the word. “Man, I came to get your stupid ass before you kill yourself out here.”
“I wish we could leave, Mike,” Melvin said. “But we can’t leave, and I mean really leave, until this is done.”
Mike’s response was interrupted by someone clearing his throat. Mike turned to see a clown dude in polka dot pajamas.
“You must be the ones Cephrin mentioned,” the clown said, his voice soft like he was a part-time hypnotist. “Welcome to Olukent, where new liv
es begin.”
“Yeah, yeah, not looking to buy a timeshare,” Mike said, waving his hand dismissively before turning his attention back to his brother.
“You can’t go until it’s done?” Mike asked. “It’s done now! How you gonna go back home if you’re dead? Those fools at the Hierophane should’ve never put you up to this.”
“We were the most capable people they had,” Melvin said.
“That’s what they told you? Jesus, Mel! This is Mission Goddamn Impossible. You don’t see none of the mages up here helping you, do you? That’s cause there ain’t no coming back from this. They sent you here to die, man.”
Melvin shook his head. “If we don’t do what they ask, not only will something bad go down, but there’ll be no going home for us.”
The clown dude interrupted again with a throat-clearing, hand-raising gesture. “Excuse me,” he said. “But where are your offerings and loved ones? Your caravan looks exceedingly empty from my vantage point.”
Mike glared at him, a look reserved for dumbasses that had certifiably lost their mind. “Motherfucker, don’t you see we talking? Kick rocks, clown.”
This time, Mike kept his eyes locked on the clown’s. In his mind, Mike was daring this fool to say one more word. First sign of a syllable and Mike was going to club him a goodnight lullaby.
Whoever dude was, he got the message. He backed away, giving Mike his space. Mike returned to the matter at hand, his idiot brother.
“What we’re doing is getting the hell out of here,” Mike said. “We ain’t bargaining with the mages for whatever the secret is to going home. We taking it.”
The matter was closed. He grabbed Melvin by the hand and turned to put his ass on the caravan.
Mike felt Melvin’s hand twist out of his grasp. He turned to see his brother, towering Amazon that he was now, standing his ground.
“No,” Melvin said. “We have to do this. I have to do this.”
“You my little brother,” Mike said. “All you have to do is what I tell you. Now let’s go.”
He grabbed Melvin’s hand again. Again, Melvin twisted out and looked at Mike with defiance in his eyes.
“I may be younger, but I’m no longer little,” Melvin said. “I had to grow up out here. And I won’t be pushed and pulled around, Mike. Now, you can either help me or stand aside. But I’m going to finish this out.”
“What?” Mike couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You telling me it took time as a woman for you to become more of a man?” Mike laughed. “Hell of a time for you to grow balls when you’re rocking ovaries. Meanwhile, you too busy being a grown man slash big girl to see I am helping by saving your ass.”
Mike grabbed Melvin’s wrist and pulled. “Now get on the caravan.”
Melvin whirled and in a flash Mike was flying through the air. He crashed into the side of a building and landed in a heap of trash.
In the trash heap, Mike heard one of Mel’s friends.
“Oh shit, he just went into Zhufira mode!”
Oh hell naw. Now, Mike was hot.
Mike emerged from the trash to see Melvin in a fighting stance, his hands up, fingers locked and rigid like knives.
“I warned you, Mike.”
“Warned me? Bitch, somebody should’ve warned you.”
Mike charged in. Melvin’s hands came fast at him. Mike ducked into a slide like he was making home plate, then sprang up with a gut punch.
Bowled over, Mel was just the right height for a punch to his face. Mike came down with it, and Melvin dropped into the dirt.
“You ain’t too pretty to get beat the fuck up,” Mike told him.
But Mel wasn’t beat. He turned on his back, spun his legs. The kick knocked Mike off his feet, but before he hit the ground, Melvin was up and putting a well placed knee into his back. Mel finished by grabbing two handfuls of Mike’s shirt and tossing him into the dirt.
Mike rolled in a ball, rocks tearing at his clothes and skin, before coming to a stop on his back. He heard Melvin’s friends panicking.
“Dude, we gotta stop this, they’re gonna kill each other,” Rich said.
“Not only do you wanna come between family,” Jason said, “but you want to step in between a Khermer warrioress and a megrym Knuckleduster. Are you crazy?”
Melvin ran up on Mike. He picked up the megrym and tossed him, this time aiming at some crates. Mike exploded into the empty crates, sending fractured wood everywhere.
Mike, on his back in the wood pile, felt Mel running up again. This time, Mike brought both legs up as Mel stood over him, kicking him hard between the legs.
If he had grown some balls in that body, they wouldn’t be there after that.
Mel cringed in pain at the kick. Mike shot up, giving him another gut shot that bowled him over. Then he chopped Mel in the throat.
“You may be tall, but I’ll break that ass down,” Mike said as Mel choked for air.
Mike grabbed him by the hair and rammed his head into the nearest barrel. He brought an elbow down into his back and Mel hit the dirt.
This time, he best stay down.
“Step away, Mike,” someone called out.
He turned to see Jason aiming an arrow at his face.
Mike’s crew moved in a blur. Ruki brought up his diskbow, Runt pulled his Z-blade, even Savashbahar ran up from the caravan, her knife at the ready.
Rich turned on them, calling fire into his hands.
“Jason!” Mike whirled to see Melvin, his lip bloody, his face a torrent of rage. He had his sword out, pointing it at his friend.
“I swear on everything in me,” Mel said. “If you don’t put that down I’ll cut you into pieces so small, even the big chunks will still slip through the fingers of rats.”
Jason lowered the bow. “Dude, I was just trying to help.”
“Save it,” Melvin said.
He put his sword away. Rich killed the fire in his hands and Mike’s crew put their weapons down. Melvin looked at his brother.
“We don’t have time for this,” Melvin said. “Look, maybe you’re right. Maybe the Hierophane sent us up here as patsies, but that doesn’t change the fact that we can stop something bad from going down. We’re the ones that set this thing loose. That makes whatever happens our fault.”
He went over to his brother, got down on one knee and put a hand on Mike’s shoulder.
“I’m asking for your help, Mike. Without you, it’s a suicide mission, but it’s still a mission I have to do. I can’t walk away and leave this world with our mess to clean up. I just can’t.”
Mike looked at his brother. “You ready to throw your life away trying to fix something we shouldn’t have even been around to mess up?”
Melvin nodded. There was resolve in his eyes. Mike wouldn’t have believed it a week ago. His kid brother, a grown ass man slash woman.
Mike looked at his crew. Runt nodded, always down without having to say a word. Ruki Provos shrugged. A slim smile creased Savashbahar’s lips.
“Aight,” Mike said. “Let’s kill us a big, mean, evil son of a bitch.”
“I knew it!” a voice screamed behind Mike. He turned and saw the clown dude, pointing at him.
“No offerings, no loved ones,” he said, “You are all interlopers, here to stop the Death Null’s grace.”
Clown dude turned to face the crowd that had gathered in the street, drawn there by the fight. “Children! They are frauds! Frauds! Frau—”
Ruki’s diskbow muzzle, rammed into the clown’s throat, killed his announcement. Ruki’s other hand wrapped around the clown.
“I recognize a resurrection cult when I see one,” Ruki said to the clown. “Tell me, do you want to take the chance of resurrecting without a head?”
“No one fears your trinket,” clown said. “Nothing that small can take a head. He bluffs, children! He bluffs!”
In a second, Ruki pointed the diskbow at a bystander, squeezed the trigger. The disk shot out, taking some dude’s arm off at the elbo
w and burying into the stomach of the guy behind him.
The diskbow was back on the throat of the clown. Ruki hadn’t even waited to see the result of his shot.
“Ruki Provos doesn’t bluff,” he said. Ironically, he was bluffing now since he needed to crank the diskbow to get another shot out of it.
Mike and his crew, Mel and his friends, they all huddled close to Ruki while the crowd closed around them.
“Where we going with this, Mel?” Mike asked.
“Uphill,” Melvin said, indicating the place with a nod. “There’s a guard shack up there.”
They worked their way up hill, the circle of angry townfolk slowly parting ahead and closing behind them. Any time the clown would try to yell out, Ruki cut off his air by jabbing the muzzle into his neck. If he couldn’t yell orders, then the crowd stayed passive and disorganized. Mike almost felt proud of Ruki.
Once they arrived at the guard shack, the crowd in front of them melted away and eight armed guards stood ready. These guys weren’t going to charge in, but neither did they move when Ruki threatened to off their leader. Mike got the impression their orders were no one got past them, even if it meant the leader’s death.
The guards were close together, a tightly knit, organized group. Big mistake.
Mike stepped in front of Ruki. He smacked his hands together, activating the lightning gloves. The electric arc shot out and put the guards down as the lightning jumped through them. The crowd around them stepped back and exclaimed in fear.
“Holy shit,” Jason said, “Where the hell can I score some of those?!”
“Inside, dumbass,” Mike said.
Everyone piled inside while Ruki turned to face the crowd, bringing up the rear with the clown in tow. Before stepping in, Ruki pushed the clown into the crowd. Runt and Savashbahar closed and bolted the door behind him.
Outside the guard shack, the clown was yelling, his Mister Rogers voice well past gone. “Idiots! My life is not worth losing the Death Null’s grace. Quickly, get the weapons, get the swords, the maces and axes. There is still time. Fly children!”