by Seven Steps
“Where… where?” It took me a while to find words to describe what I was thinking. How many hundreds made a thousand? Ten thousand? A hundred thousand? And how many bundles could this book bag hold? Dozens? A hundred? I tried to do the math in my head and it was staggering.
“Where did you get all of this?” I finally blurted out.
I didn’t wait for her response. Instead, I snatched the bag off of her shoulder, and, despite her protest, I dumped it all on to her bed. Then, I fell to my knees, running my fingers over the tightly bound green papers.
Lindsey knelt down beside me, gathering up the wads of cash as if they were eggs and she a mother hen.
“It’s our ticket out of here,” she whispered.
“Our what?” I finally ripped my eyes from the money and looked at my sister. She avoided my gaze. Just what had she been doing today? And where did this money come from?
“For when we split,” she said.
My brain tried to understand what she was talking about, but it all seemed like gibberish.
“What are you talking about? Why do we have to split?”
“Because. You’ll be eighteen in two years. Once Tuck stops getting the checks for us, she’s going to put us out. We won’t have anywhere to go. But with this,” she gestured to the cash. “We can go anywhere. Do anything. Be anyone we want to be.”
“Where did you get this?”
She considered me for a moment, before answering.
“Mom and dad.”
I scoffed. “Mom and dad have been dead for twelve years.”
“I know that. You think I don’t know that?” She stood, crossed her arms, and paced the room.
“So, what are you talking about?”
She stopped pacing and looked me over again.
“You look like him, you know. Same brown hair, same hazel eyes.” She tipped her head to the side, studying me more closely. “You even have the same nose.” She reached out and placed her hand on the bridge of my nose. “Same bump and everything. Like you’ve been in a fight and broke it.”
“I did break it. Donner Jones and I got into it by the bathrooms at Hardin House. You know that.”
Hardin House was the name of the group home they sent kids like us to live in when no one else would take them. We were in there a year before Ms. Tuck found us.
Lindsey snorted. “Of course I know that.” She brushed her fingers across my nose one more time before pulling them back. “It’s just weird that you’re so similar. Same height. Same stocky build. The same everything.”
I shook my head. Why was she talking so strangely?
“Were you taking drugs today?” I asked.
It was the only reasonable explanation. My sister was acting crazier than usual. It was either drugs or she was on the cusp of an aneurism.
Her back went rigid and her eyes narrowed at me. Her words were almost a growl.
“No.”
“Then what are you talking about? Stop talking so weird and tell me where you got this money.”
She shushed me. “Would you keep it down? You’ll wake up Tuck.”
“Lindsey!”
Her eyes darted left then right, as if making sure that no one else was listening. Then she slid closer to me on the floor.
“I visited mom and dad’s grave today,” she said.
My parents didn’t have a grave. However, Lindsey was able to get a few of our parent’s ashes from the crematorium and put them in a vase. Or at least the crematorium guy said they were my parent’s ashes. It could have been cigarette butts for all we know. Anyway, we took the vase and buried it in Central Park, way off the beaten path.
“Yeah, and?” I asked.
“And, I was sitting there talking to them like usual and that’s when I noticed one of the trees looked weird. Like its bark was peeling or something. So, I went over to it and I saw it wasn’t a bark at all. It was a little door built into the tree. I opened it and there was all this money inside. So, I took it.”
My mouth fell open. “You took the money?”
She nodded as if this was the most normal thing in the world for her to do.
“Are you crazy? It could have been drug money or funding for terrorist or something!”
“Nope. Definitely not terrorist.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“Because there were drugs in the tree too.”
My anger exploded. “What?”
Lindsey raised her hands in front of her, shaking them. “No. No, I left the drugs there.”
“Yes, but you took the money!”
“So? No harm no foul. If they wanted to keep their money, they would have put it in a bank like everyone else.”
I ran my hands down my face. “Do you know how dangerous this is? You stole this money from god knows who. Don’t you think they’ll want it back?”
“What does it matter? There was no one around. How could they know that I took it?”
“I don’t know. Cameras. Surveillance.”
“I checked for cameras. The place was clean. It was just a drop point.”
“Lindsey, I can’t believe you did this. What if they find out? What if they try to kill us?”
She put her hands on my shoulders. “Relax little brother. I got this all handled. We’ll stash the money away somewhere no one else will ever find it. Then, when you turn eighteen, we’ll leave this place forever. Get out of New York. Out of America.”
“And go where? Where could two orphans possibly go?”
She sat back on her haunches and smiled as if she’d been waiting for me to ask the question. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I finally came up with something. Sweden.”
I ran my hands down my face again.
My sister had officially gone insane.
“Hear me out,” she continued. “Free healthcare. Free schools. It’s like paradise up there. We can get jobs and live on reindeer meat and chocolate. You love chocolate.”
I shook my head in stunned disbelief. “So that’s your plan? Steal from drug dealers and go to Sweden to eat reindeer meat? That’s the future you’ve decided for us?”
She moved closer and took my hands in hers. “Our future is whatever we want it to be. Don’t’ worry, little brother.” She took my face between her palms and squeezed. “I got us covered. Just a little while longer and we are out of here.”
I closed my eyes. My sister had put us in unimaginable danger. She’d been careless and reckless.
But what if she was right? What if this was our ticket out of New York? What if this money took care of us for the rest of our lives?
Was this money a curse, or a blessing? I had no idea.
“Relax.” She let go of my face and ran her fingers through my hair. “Get some sleep and know that your future is in your big sisters very capable hands.”
I sighed. I was so confused that I didn’t know what to think.
“I got this, little brother,” Lindsey said. “Stick with me, and our lives will be smooth sailing.”
I stood up, suddenly so tired that I could barely keep my eyes opened.
Lindsey may have felt like this was smooth sailing but I had a feeling that we’d climbed onto the helm of the titanic, and were hours away from landing at the bottom of the sea.
3
Monday morning came too soon. It seemed like I’d only shut my eyes for a moment before my alarm was blaring and Ms. Tuck was banging on my door.
“Time to get up, Alex,” she called.
I yawned, stretched and stared up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of what my life had become.
There was a bag of money hidden in my sister’s room.
Money that belonged to someone else.
Quite possibly, someone with a big gun and no morals. How was I supposed to go to school knowing that? How was I supposed to concentrate on math, art, history, and science knowing that thousands of dollars were in my house right now?
A rushing sound came from my do
or. I sat up in time to see a white envelope wiggling its way over the worn, brown carpet. I jumped out of bed, and snatched it from, presumably, my sister’s fingers.
The words, Lunch Money were printed in my sister’s perfectly neat handwriting.
I opened the white envelope and peered inside. Five green bills looked back at me. I slid them out, one by one and marveled. All twenties.
One hundred dollars for lunch? What kind of lunch did she think I ate? Filet Mignon?
I pushed the cash back into the envelope and threw it onto the bed. I was usually all about free money, but this was more than that. This money came with some dangerous baggage and I had a terrible feeling that someone was going to come and collect sooner rather than later.
Besides, Ms. Tuck didn’t give us lunch money, mostly because I got free lunch as part of my St. Mary’s Academy scholarship. My school viewed lunch as more of an art form than a meal. Chicken, sushi, beef, vegan, gluten free. There were so many dishes that it was hard not to get overwhelmed by them.
And now I could go out for lunch if I wanted to. Maybe even grab an ice cream cone. It sounded great in theory. It was the practice of it that I was worried about.
I grabbed my towel from the hook on the back of the door and plodded to the bathroom down the hallway. My steps were heavy, like my thoughts.
I took a quick shower and got dressed even quicker before I joined Ms. Tuck for breakfast. Lindsey was already sitting there, a big smile on her face. The smell of scrambled eggs, grits, bacon, biscuits, toast, and coffee caressed my nose. Ms. Tuck believed in a big breakfast to start the day, and I wasn’t one to argue with her.
“Long night?” Ms. Tuck asked, standing to make my plate.
I ran a hand over my face, trying to wipe some of the sleepiness away. “Sort of.”
“Well, Ms. Lindsey and I have had a long talk. And she has agreed to spend some more time at home, especially on the weekends.”
My eyes went to Lindsey. She shrugged and took a big bite of her bacon. What was she up to?
“We also discussed the fact that you kids don’t have to go anywhere once you turn eighteen. You can stay here until you’re a hundred for all I care. I’m not going to put you out. If you want to go, it will be one hundred percent your choice.” She looked hard at me, willing her words to seep into my brain. “And as for the adoption,” she shook her head. “If I were a richer woman, I would have adopted you long ago. But it’s been hard enough keeping a roof over your heads, let alone adopting you.” She finished piling my plate and slid it in front of me.
“So, are we good now?”
The question was directed at Lindsey. She smiled sweetly, and nodded once.
“Yes ma’am.”
I knew that voice. It was her I’ll say yes but I don’t believe a word you say voice. She used it on Ms. Tuck more times than I could count.
Tuck seemed appeased by it though, because she turned her attention to me.
“We good?” she asked.
“Yes,” I replied. “We’re good.”
“Good. Now, go ahead and eat. I can’t have you trying to learn on an empty stomach.”
Clinking forks, moving plates, and the sound of chewing filled the air as we dug into our breakfast. I dipped the cheesy eggs into the buttery grits and shoving them into my mouth. The creamy flavors melted together in an explosion of deliciousness. Ms. Tuck knew that a way to a man’s heart was through his stomach and right now I was putty in her hands.
I normally ate with more gusto, but today I couldn’t stop looking at my sister. Her fake expression irritated me. Ms. Tuck had just poured out her soul to us, and Lindsey swept her words aside as if they meant nothing.
Why was she like this?
Why did she hate Ms. Tuck so much, even though the woman had only been kind to us?
Ms. Tuck never whispered about sending us back to Hardin House, even when we behaved badly. But still, Lindsey never fully trusted her, and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why.
“It’s almost seven thirty, Alex,” Ms. Tuck said. “You’d better get a move on or else you’re going to miss your train.”
I wolfed down the rest of my breakfast, including my coffee, and grabbed my book bag from my room.
“I’ll see you guys later,” I said, rushing towards the door.
Lindsey waved at me over her shoulder. “Later.”
Ms. Tuck followed me to the door and, behind Lindsey’s back, she hugged me. It was one of our rituals. One that we did when Lindsey didn’t see. I sure loved Ms. Tuck’s hugs in the morning. This woman wasn’t my biological mom, but she was one to me in every way that mattered.
“I’ll make that lasagna Lindsey likes for dinner,” she whispered to me. “Maybe that’ll finally get some peace in this house.”
Ms. Tuck thought food fixed everything. In my case, it did. But Lindsey was harder than I was. In some ways, she was more broken.
“No onions,” I said. I hated onions.
“No onions,” she replied.
We pulled away and we smiled at each other.
“See you later.” Mom, I wanted to add. But I didn’t. That would set Lindsey off, and I’d had way too much of that already.
“See you soon,” she said. “Behave yourself.”
I sighed and headed for the train.
Right now, my life was balanced over the land mine that was my sister. It was almost as if she didn’t allow herself to be happy. To feel settled. It had already created trouble for us. Little fires of confusion and frustration in our lives that burned so hot. I wondered how long it would be until everything else ignited, and my entire world went boom.
4
School proved to be my place of refuge these days.
There was no Lindsey to keep an eye on me for any signs of treason, although I was being watched.
The jocks thought I was fun to pick on because I was good at academics and because I gave them a good fight. It’s funny how things worked.
When they were in a pack, they threw spit balls at me and tried to throw me into lockers. But, when they were alone, they asked me to tutor them in their weaker subjects. I suppose it was the mob mentality that made them vicious. No one person wants to be mean to another person. But get five or six of them together, and it’s a wonder that there is any humanity in them at all.
The second part of my problem were the Future Entrepreneurs of the World club, or as they were known around school, the F.E.W. The F.E.W only respected people with money and power. To them, money was king, and I was an orphan whose parents hadn’t left me as much as a newspaper when they died. With no money, I held no power. No popularity. No anything. And so, I was easy fodder for their hurtful rumors and exclusion.
If I had money, my life would change. I’d be respected by the F.E.W. I’d sit at the cool table at lunch. The jocks wouldn’t try to use me as their own personal piñata. And I’d finally get a girl. Well, just one girl.
Cassia Johnstone.
The most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Blonde hair, big green eyes and lips that made my brain melt. She was a full foot shorter than I was, and I liked it when she looked up at me when we stood up to leave the three classes we shared. Math, Spanish and study hall. Her skin was smooth, fair and clear. Her body wasn’t slender, skinny or any of that. She was curvy and soft and gorgeous.
Cassia was so beautiful that it made my heart squeeze whenever I looked at her.
And, yet, I knew that she didn’t see me that way.
To Cassia, I was Alex Wells. Her friend, fellow student, and nothing more.
I wondered if she knew how much I wanted us to be more.
Careful to avoid the jocks that gathered around Julius Samson’s locker, I walked into math just before the bell rang.
My heart gave a little start when I saw Cassia already seated. Her book was out and she was writing furiously, trying to finish up last night’s homework, no doubt. She wasn’t good in math. She barely got a passing grade. I’d tutore
d her once or twice. I wish she’d let me tutor her every day. Not just so that I could spend time with her, which would be amazing by the way, but because she needed someone to consistently sit with her to work on the basic concepts that she couldn’t seem to grasp in regular class. I wanted to be that guy for her. The guy who helped her. Who taught her something. The person she could depend on for anything.
But for now, we just sat next to each other in math and I could only offer my assistance as she made confused faces at the chalkboard every day. Granted they were very cute confused faces.
We waved hello at each other and I slid into my chair next to her. Something must’ve happened over the weekend because she looked at me with beautifully excited eyes.
“Brett Garfield asked Judy Levin to the Spring Fling.”
The Spring Fling was the last school formal before junior prom at the end of May. I hadn’t asked anyone to go and, so far as I knew, no one had asked Cassia to go either.
I could end that problem with a single question, if only I had the nerve to ask her.
“Um… is that good?”
She pushed me playfully. It didn’t hurt at all, but I pretended it did for the effect. It always made Cassia smile, and I loved making her smile.
“Of course, it’s good. If Judy’s going with Brett, that means she’s off the board. And if she’s off the board, Grant’s options are winding down. The chances of him asking me to the Spring Fling are looking better and better every day.”
I hated Grant Richardson. He was a snob, a bully, and second in command of the F.E.W. I stepped on his shoes once by accident and he told everyone in listening distance that his shoes were worth more than my entire wardrobe. Granted it was true, but it was a douchebag thing to say. The guy was a jerk, and the mere fact that Cassia would even consider dating someone like that made my blood boil. She deserved better. Much better.
“You really want to go with Grant, huh?” I asked.