by Seven Steps
Crap, crap, crap.
I pushed back the half-eaten sandwich I’d snuck out of the cafeteria. Normally, I sat with the rest of the film club during lunch, but there was no way I could hang out and talk about our usual trivial stuff or our future indie film careers when this hung over my head like a horrific nightmare on steroids.
I thought about texting Sarah. Could I tell her the truth about what I was doing? Would she understand? No—how could anyone understand what I was doing? I barely understood it.
I chewed thoughtfully on my sandwich. The sun’s rays warmed my face, reminding me of Golden Boy. My cloud of misery returned. Once Julius found out I wasn’t pregnant—that I’d been a pawn in Clay’s game this whole time—it’d be over.
Permanently.
I’d meant to text Clay last night and demand he let me out of the deal, but I hadn’t. Something was holding me back—fear. I was still afraid to leave school, and now that I’d gotten to know him, I was terrified that Julius would finally see what a terrible person I really was. So, I hadn’t texted Clay. I’d lain in bed with Julius’ coat wrapped around me and sulked instead.
A physical education class came out on the football field with the die-hard athletes leading the pack. Everyone else ambled out like they were walking to their execution. I searched for Golden Boy as the class began to stretch.
“Hey, what’s up, girlfriend.” Clay stood behind me, his mocking, slimy voice interrupting my searching. I gave him a side glance. “You’re looking mighty fine today.”
“Nothing, and don’t call me ‘girlfriend’.”
“Haha, Meg. You’re so funny.” He lifted his face and pointed with his chin. “Here comes the father of your baby.”
Julius came jogging out onto the field and joined in the stretching. I tried to ignore the way my heart immediately sped up.
“Dude, don’t say it out loud.” I nudged his foot. “Lower your voice.”
“Why? The rumor mill is running its course, and everyone will know by”—he tapped on his Rolex watch—“the end of the day.”
The blood drained from my face and my cold hands shook.
It was happening. Soon, Julius would leave St. Mary’s and everyone would blame me and my fake baby. I’d become the school’s official pariah for the foreseeable future, and without a high school diploma, Julius would be working at a McDonald’s somewhere. Whichever way we sliced it, both of our lives were over, and it was all my fault.
“He told me I could take over for him as quarterback and Coach Phil agreed. With any luck, Julius will be out of school by Monday, you’ll lose the kid by Tuesday, and I’ll be winning the playoffs by Friday. Win-win for everyone.”
The words I wanted to say lodged in my throat like an elephant being pushed into a drain pipe. If my knees hadn’t been wobbly, I would’ve kicked him. I wanted to punch him until he puked all over his red and white jersey.
But, I didn’t, because Clay had thought of this stupid plan and I had gone through with it. I now realized it wasn’t only about football. Clay wanted to ruin Julius, and I was helping him do it.
Disgust ate through my chest, and I walked away before I said something that would jeopardize any hope of me getting the money I needed.
“Where you going?” Clay called after me. “Lunch isn’t over.”
“Anywhere but here.” I condensed the rest of my sandwich into a small ball and resisted the strong temptation to throw it in his face, because if a teacher witnessed it, I’d be kicked out of school faster than a dog on a T-bone steak. The school had a strict no-assault policy.
I stormed off the field, heading to the girls locker room. I nearly jogged down the hallway, past packs of students milling about on their lunch break. My back tingled. I could feel people watching me. With a slight turn of my head, I saw eyes gaping in my direction.
What the heck? Have they already heard? No way—not this quickly.
I sped up, not looking back until I reached the girl’s locker room door. I sighed with relief as my fingers touched the cold stainless steel, but before I could pull it open, a hand appeared above me and slammed it shut again.
“Is it true?” A big-eared jock towered over at me with his six-foot-tall frame.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let go of the handle.”
He didn’t budge one lousy millimeter. He still had one hand pressed to the door—a hand the size of my face.
“You’re not going anywhere until you tell us.”
“Tell you what?”
“You know exactly what.”
With his free hand, he grabbed my shoulder and flipped me around to face him.
“Don’t touch me!”
He sneered. “Is that what you told Julius?”
More snickers came from behind him.
What was this guy going to do to me? Beat me up? Grill me for answers here against the door? Or worse?
My heart beat frantically in my chest. I stood tall, trying to put on a brave face, trying not to think about what harm was about to come to me.
“Let go of the door before I bust your lip open!” I shouted.
He cackled like an old woman. “Yeah? You and what army?”
His eyes seemed to glow. Terror rocked through me.
The big goon grabbed me off the door and pushed me toward his friends. A girl I didn’t know pushed me back, and it suddenly seemed as if the entire school surrounded me. I wanted to run but was held tight with my back to the guy’s chest, facing a crowd of hate-filled faces.
“Slut!”
“Whore!”
“You ruined our team!”
“You ruined the season!”
My knees wanted to buckle but even if I collapsed, I had a feeling the big-eared goon wouldn’t let me slide. He’d probably prop me up to let everyone have a piece of me.
They continued shouting, but I closed my eyes to avoid the hatred in theirs. I stiffened my back. I would not show them how afraid I was. I wouldn’t let them see one iota of fear.
The raging mob continued to crowd me in, and the football player tightened his grip.
“Dude, let me go!” I shouted above the noise.
Everyone laughed. The cacophony made my head hurt. I struggled against the hands holding me. I had to get out of there before things got worse.
Suddenly, the shouting died down.
Had the principal shown up to save me?
My eyes flew open. My search for a grownup landed on a pair of gorgeous blue eyes.
Julius!
He pushed the crowd aside. “Let her go—right…now.” His voice boomed against the walls.
I felt the hands that held me quiver.
“Listen, Herc, this girl is the reason you’re no longer quarterback and—”
“I don’t care what you think, right now, Grunski. You have no right to attack her. Let go of her.” He closed his fingers into two giant fists and scanned the area, as if searching for victims to pummel. “I’m already leaving this school, and I have no problem beating your head in on the way out.”
“Okay, Herc. Calm down,” Grunski squeaked.
My shoulders relaxed the moment he opened his fingers. I rubbed my arms to return feeling to them.
A couple of people continued to heckle, but with lower voices.
Julius bent over and lifted my face. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
He put his arm around my back and drew me in.
Safe…the feeling flowed from his warm touch throughout my body. I was completely safe within his arms. I glanced around and caught someone angrily shaking their flaming-red hair, but I didn’t know who they were.
Julius addressed the crowd. “Megera Kotopuli is under my protection, and if I hear any more rumors or if she feels threatened in any way, I’ll haul you across the field and we’ll deal with this directly. That goes for everyone here. Are we clear?”
People whispered and murmured, and I could tell they’d gotten the message loud and clear.
The redhead I’d seen a minute before finally pushed through the crowd and positioned her back to us. She put one hand on her hip and lifted her index finger up above her head—a woman’s battle stance.
“Are you people animals or what? You should know better. We don’t attack anyone, especially not my cousin’s girlfriend. What are you thinking?” She used her finger like a policeman’s nightstick, ready to push them away. “This show is over.” She lifted her other arm and waved them away.
The crowd dissipated, and my heart rate slowly returned to normal.
There, in Julius’ arms, even in all of the chaos, I felt normal.
I felt safe.
The redhead turned to me. Her green eyes were bright, her body slim and toned.
“You okay?” she asked.
I nodded, though Julius’ tight hold made it hard.
“I’m fine.” I willed my voice not to break. My adrenaline was coming down, and it felt like I was about to fall apart. The only thing keeping me together was Julius.
“I’m Ariel Swimworthy, Julius’ cousin.”
I knew who Ariel was. Her father was Tritan Swimworthy, the real estate mogul. Rumor had it that Ariel had run away a few weeks ago. I didn’t know the whole story, but the pieces I’d heard had been sensational.
“I’m Megera Kotopuli.”
She smiled. “I know who you are. Herc told me all about you.”
He did? I wanted to look up at him, but his hold was so tight that I could barely move. Ariel shoved him.
“God, Herc, can you let her go before she suffocates?”
He released me immediately.
“Sorry. I was just…”
“Yeah, I know.” She put one hand on Julius’ arm and one on mine. “But she’s safe now, and with the three of us keeping an eye on her, she won’t be in that position again.”
“The three of us?”
A dark-haired boy came jogging up behind Ariel.
“Babe, I turn around for two seconds and you disappear. What gives?”
She pulled him close.
“This is Eric,” Ariel said. “My boyfriend.”
He jerked his chin at me. “Hey.”
“Consider us the MK protection agency.”
Something warm filled my chest as I took in the three people standing around me. My feeling of safety intensified.
“Thank you,” I said, wiping a tear from my eye. “For saving me, I mean.”
“That’s what family does,” Ariel said. “They show up for each other.” She placed a gentle hand on my belly. “We’re family now, Meg.”
My relief morphed into guilt.
I thought I’d gained two more friends, but I hadn’t.
They were just two more people to lie to.
We all turned to the sound of sneakers hitting the wooden floor hard. The tempo increased and seconds later, Sarah rushed out a side door.
She reached my side, gulping the air like a tiny minnow on a fisherman’s line. She held out her hand and took a minute before she said, “Hey, what happened? I heard about the mob attacking you.” She put up her fists and punched the air a couple of times. “My hands were ready to rumble with the entire football team.
We cracked up without noticing the person who slithered up behind Julius.
“Hey, dude, I heard what happened. Is Meg okay?”
Clay’s appeared frazzled and worried. Liar. He eyed me up and down, as if he wasn’t the cause of my plight.
If I hadn’t still been feeling fear aftershocks, I would have laughed right in his face.
“She’s fine,” Julius said. “Just a little shaken up.”
Clay shook his head and ran his fingers through his blond locks, mussing them into a bedhead look. “That Grunski’s is a loose cannon. We should tell Coach about this, get him some help.”
Julius nodded. “Dude, I was just thinking that exact same thing.”
Clay smiled at me. If I hadn’t known him, I might have found his smile sexy. I would have gone weak in the knees, and maybe even tittered like a bird—but I did know him. That wasn’t an I’m glad you’re okay smile. It was the smile of a cat batting around a mouse. Clay was playing with me and daring me to call him on it, knowing full well that I couldn’t.
I’d never felt so frustrated in my life. So weak. So pathetic.
Julius slapped his meaty hand onto Clay’s shoulder.
“This is a good guy,” he told me. “One of the best men I know. If you need anything at all and you can’t get me, call Clay. He’ll have your back, no question.”
Clay’s waved away Julius’ compliment.
“Come on, Herc. Please, you’re embarrassing me.”
Julius shook his head. “No, no, I mean it. If it wasn’t for you reminding me of my responsibility to protect this girl—my family—then something worse might have happened today.” He turned to me and pointed at Clay. “This guy right here is my brother. He has my back, and he has yours too.”
I could only stare at Clay. He took the accolades with mock humility and grace. He even had the audacity to pat Julius on the back and stand tall at his side.
I wanted to puke.
This disgusting human being had Julius’ back? No. Julius had it wrong. Clay wanted to stab him in the back, and he was doing it with a wink and a smile.
“How long have you two been friends?” I asked. It was a loaded question, but I was trying to understand what had driven Julius to befriend a guy like Clay—pity? A bet? Was there some family link I wasn’t aware of?
“Since birth,” Julius said. “We’ve known each other forever. Our dads are good friends. He’s a good friend. I guess I’m just blessed.” Then he looked at Clay as if he were the best person in the entire world. At that moment, I wanted to punch Clay right in his perfect teeth. How could he do that to Julius? How could he be so cold hearted? “This guy right here saved my life—literally.”
“What?” Ariel asked. “I haven’t heard this story.”
“No? Clay, tell it.”
Clay shook his head. “No, no, you tell it better than I do.”
Julius beamed. “Okay. Well, this one time we were walking home from school, and this huge dog showed up out of nowhere, a Rottweiler I think it was.”
Clay nodded. “Yea, it was.”
“I remember Clay calling my name, and I turned around and the dog was right on me. I ran into a yard and stayed there until my mom came to get me.” He pointed at Clay. “If Clay hadn’t called my name, I don’t know what would have happened.”
“You would have heard the dog eventually.”
“Maybe, but the point was, you were there.” Julius turned back to me. “See Meg, this guy here is family. If you need anything, or if anyone says anything to you, you call on my right-hand man here.”
Eric snorted. “Okay guys. Are you done with your bromance yet? You’re starting to make me uncomfortable.”
Julius laughed. “Whatever, traitor.”
“Traitor? Me?” Eric asked.
“Yeah, you—still sitting in business class, abandoning your team?”
The conversation turned into a guys tease fest. I could tell Julius wasn’t being mean and that Eric wasn’t taking it that way from the way they smiled and punched each other in the shoulders. Total bros.
“Hey, as my family’s sole heir, it’s my duty to learn about the basics of business, but if you need a reminder about my skill set, I wouldn’t mind a pick-up game this weekend.”
He and Julius clapped hands. “You’re on.” Julius wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side. “And I’ll be coming with two cheerleaders.”
Everyone laughed then—everyone except me. I hid my face in Julius’ shirt to hide my guilt. When the laughter died down, I looked up just in time to see Clay’s wicked smile. He gave me a silent slow clap, like I was the lead actress in his own personal play.
I was, and it made me feel filthy.
The bell rang, ending my new friends’ reve
lry, and my misery.
“We’ll meet up later,” Julius said, slapping hands with Clay then Eric. “And thanks for showing up.” This comment he directed to Ariel, and he followed it up with a hug.
“Don’t mention it,” Ariel said.
The bell rang again.
“Walk you to class?” Julius said, holding out his hand. I hesitated, but then put my hand in his. It was so big and gentle. My whole arm went hot.
“Sure.”
I sniffled then quickly wiped at my eyes.
I didn’t know why I was suddenly so emotional. Was it because Julius was holding my hand? Or was it because, when this was all over, he wouldn’t?
When I walked into class, I received a text from Clay.
Clay: I can’t believe he keeps telling that dog story! What would he say if he knew I was the one who opened the dog’s gate in the first place?
I gasped. What kind of monster was Clay? And worse, how soon until the monster turned on me?
7
He’d rescued me.
No one had ever stood up for me like that.
Not ever.
I paced my room, twirling my curls until my scalp was tender from the pulling.
He had stood up for me, and I was ruining his life.
I plopped down on my bed and stared at the posters covering my walls.
Ed, an indie remake of Oedipus.
Purple Triangles, a World War II movie.
Stairway to Heaven, a story of a little girl with a brain tumor who goes on one last adventure.
All tragic stories, just like my life. My life was a tragedy. One. Giant. Greek. Tragedy.
The worst part was that Julius was trapped in the middle. Funny, sweet Julius, the boy who made me feel safe in a world where everything around me was in flux.
I sat up and paced my room some more.
I had to figure this out before Julius lost his scholarship and got kicked out of school, before his entire future went up in smoke.
Crap!
I felt trapped like a fly in a spider’s web of my own decisions.
No, not all my decisions.
If it wasn’t for my father, I wouldn’t need Clay’s dirty tuition money.
And, if it wasn’t for Clay…