“Yay!” Hope clapped her hands. Her eyes sparkled. “Now we have two weddings to plan. That is if you’re not holding out on us…”
Sabrina scowled and waved her hands. “Oh no. Don’t you start. I’m getting plenty of hassle from Logan’s family; I don’t need you weighing in, too. Logan and I have way too much on our plates to even begin to think about weddings and babies. Maybe in a few years.”
And the talk quickly devolved into wedding planning. My living situation, Nathan, and our book club were forgotten.
Even though I was sitting in the room with my two best friends, I still felt kind of isolated. I wasn’t really part of the family. They both had two amazing, committed men—one was planning a wedding with her fiancé and gorgeous baby, while the other was planning grad school and a new career.
Meanwhile, my whole life was falling apart.
I tried to smile and laugh at all the right parts, when really, I felt like a failure.
* * *
That night, I sat down with my laptop—on Dylan’s couch—and made a plan.
I was getting my life back on track.
Step 1—Look for a new job.
With an ax hanging over my head, it wasn’t the time to wait and see. I knew what was coming, and I was going to get out in front of it. I searched local job listings and found a few promising leads. Then I looked up headhunting firms to see if they had anything worthwhile. It took a solid two hours, but I had a list of at least half a dozen places to apply.
Step 2—Research my options to get out of my lease.
I decided to draft a letter and send it to my landlord via certified mail. I listed my reasons for leaving, as well as the specific California laws he had to abide by. Hopefully he’d be able to re-rent the apartment quickly, and I wouldn’t be on the hook for too much more rent. Since I’d already paid this month, I’d have most of the month to move my stuff out.
Step 3—Find a guy (who wasn’t Nathan).
It was beyond time to face facts. Nathan wasn’t interested in me and would never see me as anything other than a pseudo sister. Sure, I’d dated some in the past, mostly fuckboys, but not in an embarrassingly long time.
Where should I start? Ask people to set me up? My skin itched at the thought. Blind dates were the worst, and ultimately humiliating. I couldn’t bear to see that shocked expression on my date’s face again.
Maybe I should start smaller. Find a guy for now, not forever. Just get back in the saddle, so the speak.
I downloaded the most popular hook-up app and started filling out my profile.
Name: Madison
Age: 26
Location: Sacramento, CA
Relationship Status: Single
My eyebrows went up at some of the choices. I mean I understood divorced, separated, but married was an option? Really? Sheesh.
Gender: Female
Height: 5’6”
Body Type:
Crap. Maybe I shouldn’t have wussed out and actually had Sabrina and Hope help me with this part. I hated talking about my body. I looked through the suggested answers. Slender. Athletic. Curvy. Plus-sized. None of them really fit. I was…me. Not skinny, not particularly round. Maybe I should just put average? Right, because that would sell me to the horny masses. Annoyed and starting to lose my nerve, I chose curvy and kept going.
Smoking: No
Drinking: Sometimes
Marijuana Use: No
Food: All the above
Star sign: Pisces
Pronoun: She/Her
Orientation: Straight
Kink Interests:
I mean…what did I put there? Some? I didn’t want to invite creepers, but if I was honest, I was curious. I’d read Fifty Shades, and some of it sounded crazy hot.
Screw it.
Kink Interest: Curious
Personal Message:
I wracked my brain for what to say. It had to be pithy but interesting. I didn’t want to sound needy or that I wanted a ring at the end of the date.
Personal Message: Just looking for something casual, not too serious!
And then I scrolled to the next form.
Madison’s bedroom:
Biting
Blindfolding
Dirty Talk
Nylons
Submission
Toys
Peeping
Wax
Vanilla
Leather
Yup, I was definitely going to need alcohol. And I still hadn’t gotten to the photo uploading portion of the app yet.
Kill me now.
Chapter Six
Nathan
Sitting on my aunt’s sofa Sunday afternoon waiting for the rest of the family to show up only emphasized how pathetic my life had become. None of my brothers had shown up yet. Neither had Sabrina. Wendy was wrapped up in her…I didn’t even know what to call him. Referring to a fifty-something man as a boyfriend just felt wrong. But they were busy doing something in kitchen and giggling—I wasn’t going to investigate.
Everyone had a life. But not me.
Fuck this.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I might look like the loser of the family, but it didn’t have to be true. I’d play happy family when everyone finally showed, and after, I’d spend some time with a little hottie to unwind.
Minutes later I was happily swiping left and right when I stumbled over her profile.
Maddie.
Maddie was on my app.
She hadn’t even gone for a mysterious partial profile picture. Maddie was all out there blatant as ever, biting her luscious bottom lip and visible from the top of her head to the bottom curve of her perky tits.
Timid little Madison Roberts had a hookup profile. And so fucking blatant: Just looking for something casual, not too serious!
My stomach dropped. Nothing about Maddie was casual. Maddie was hearts and sunshine and weddings and babies. How could she! Why would she?
I clicked on her profile, and I swore I saw spots when I read what followed.
Kink Interest: Curious
Curious? Did she not know that was like catnip to all those asshole predators out there? Curious?!
Fuck.
And I couldn’t help myself. I clicked on the Madison’s bedroom link.
Biting: No
Blindfolding: With the right guy
Dirty Talk: Yes, please
Nylons: I like thigh highs
Submission: Sometimes
Toys: I have several
Peeping: No
Wax: Maybe?
Vanilla: Ice cream? Yes, please. Sex, sometimes. Mostly.
Leather: Yum
I boggled at my phone. It was too much information. I couldn’t take any of it in.
Or maybe, judging by the throbbing of my junk, I’d taken it all in. It was way too easy to imagine Maddie in a pair of thigh highs, blindfolded on my bed while I teased her with her collection of toys.
Suddenly, it was all I could think about. Were her nipples a pale pink, deep rose, or a light brown?
Fuck. Me.
I didn’t know what to do with this information. Suddenly Maddie wasn’t my little sister’s best friend—she was a siren I couldn’t stop thinking about. I wanted her.
I wanted Maddie Roberts.
Fuck.
With a new resolve, I headed for the half-bathroom at the end of the hall. After locking the door behind me, I tore my shirt off and took a few selfies, making sure to crop my head out of them. And to obscure my blazing motorcycle tat—the logo for Badass Builds. If she saw that she’d know exactly who was messaging her. Then my thumbs flew across the screen. I created a new fake profile with the generic name Nate, and all my answers mirrored Maddie’s.
I pulled her profile up, swiped right, and sent her a personal message.
Looks like we have a lot in common. Interested in meeting up for a drink later tonight?
I tried to calm my racing heart. If she looked horrified when she found me sittin
g at the end of the bar, I could always give her the riot act about internet dating. Given how much she’d spilled in her profile, I wouldn’t have a hard time finding my anger. It was risky and made me pissed when I thought of all the different scenarios that could happen to her.
But if the night went the way I hoped…
It was win-win really.
I put my shirt back on and was washing my hands when my phone pinged.
Sure, I like what I see. How about B-Side at 9?
A smug smile curved my lips.
Got her.
* * *
It was fucking hard to sit across Aunt Wendy’s table from Maddie knowing what I did. I shifted to lessen the strain on my cock from my jeans. Hard in more ways than one.
And Maddie didn’t have a fucking clue. She was happily eating and talking to Sabrina on her left. Every once in a while, her eyes would slide toward me, but I attributed it to the fact I sat across from her. She’d give me an awkward smile and turn back to her plate or Sabrina.
It was killing me to not say anything.
Killing. Me.
“I have an announcement to make.” Austin said as he stood up a few seats down. He raised his cup and beamed down at an equally beaming Rachel. “Last night, I proposed, and Rachel said yes.”
There were joyful exclamations, cheers, and chatter.
I grinned at the couple, even as I felt a twinge of something I couldn’t name deep in my chest. I was happy for my brother. He and Rachel fit so well together. And he was great with her son, Wyatt. I’d had a suspicion that the announcement was coming, but he hadn’t asked me to help him pick out the ring or plan the proposal. We’d been so close for so long. But lately—with everyone coupling up—I found myself on the outside more than usual.
I didn’t know if it was disappointment at being left out or jealousy that two of my brothers were on their way down the aisle to their forever. Honestly, I didn’t want to think about it. I did what I usually did and buried it. Easier that way.
“Congrats, Aust. I’m happy for you,” I said, clapping Austin on the shoulder.
“Thanks, bro.” Austin grinned. “You up for standing up for us as my best man?”
I laughed, as his question lessened some of whatever that pang feeling had been. But it lingered. “I guess this is an awkward time to ask Rachel if she’s sure you’re the man she wants.”
“Yes, you fuckhead. It is.” Austin glowered at me even as a smile curved his lips.
“And yes, he is.” Rachel beamed up at Austin. “He’s the best thing that’s come into my life since Wyatt.”
“Where is the little rugrat?” I asked looking around the room. “No one has tried to tackle me since I got here.” Because that was what her almost five-year-old did every time he saw me. I was pretty sure my brother paid him to beat up on me. It was cute.
Rachel sent Austin a twinkling, adoring look. “My mom’s watching him. We’re going out tonight after dinner.”
“Or staying in,” Austin murmured before he gave her a soft kiss.
Rachel turned beet red. “Austin!”
That was my cue. “Right. Congrats again. I’ll see you at work tomorrow, bro.”
Not that either of them seemed to notice my retreat. Austin was murmuring something no doubt dirty in Rachel’s ear, and she was busy burrowing into his side.
“And then there were two.” Aunt Wendy suddenly appeared next to me.
I laughed. “You on a mission to get everyone coupled up and married off? And shouldn’t it be three? Sabrina’s not exactly engaged.”
I had no qualms about throwing my little sister under the bus if it got me out of Wendy’s cross hairs.
“Not technically, but it’s only a matter of time with those two. They’re both in it for the long haul. Once Sabrina gets her school stuff sorted out, they’ll be next. But as for you and Dylan…” She rubbed her hands together and cackled manically.
I know it was all for show, but the sound sent a chill down my spine. Or maybe it was that Wendy was serious. She wanted all her kids married off and working on their forevers. We’d heard it enough growing up. Wendy had always wanted us to have what she’d never had for herself. Or at least what she hadn’t had until recently.
Still, I grabbed at any straw I had available to me. “Speaking of, where is Dylan? Did he let you know he wasn’t showing tonight? I haven’t seen him since Thursday.”
“That boy.” Wendy closed her eyes and muttered something under her breath. “He’s been dodging my calls. You let him know I’m looking to talk to him.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Shit. I’d only riled her up more. After clearing my throat uncomfortably, I said the only thing my brain could spit out. “I should get going. I have a date.”
Then it was my turn to close my eyes and curse.
“A date? What’s her name? How long have you guys been seeing each other? What—”
“First date.” I cut her off as I backed away slowly. “And I really shouldn’t be late, so I’ll see you next week.”
“I can’t wait to hear all about your date next time I see you. Be safe and don’t forget condoms.”
I was beyond the point of being embarrassed about condoms, but that didn’t mean I loved the attention Wendy’s shouted advice gave me. Everyone in the room turned when she shrieked the word date. Maddie stared at me with something I couldn’t name gleaming in her eyes.
“Aww!” Ryan faked squealed. “Little Nate-y got a little date-y? That’s so cute.”
Hope smacked him in the stomach and glared at him before she sent a concerned look at Maddie for some reason. But Maddie wasn’t even paying attention; she was busy gathering her own belongings. Hope bent and whispered something in Maddie’s ear. Maddie paused, shook her head, and murmured something back.
I’d give about anything to know what that exchange was about.
Ryan stepped away from the whispering duo and his fiancé’s sharp elbow. “I never thought I’d see the day that Nathaniel Augustus Burns agreed to go on an actual date.”
“One, you know that’s not my middle name. And two, it’s drinks, not an ‘actual date.’” I scoffed. Little brothers were such a pain in the ass. “And three, I should go, so I’m not late.”
“It’s a date. It’s a date. It’s a date.” Ryan sang as he danced around the room.
Someone had clearly spent too much time with children’s television programs.
Austin linked elbows with Ryan and they skipped in a circle as they sang, “It’s a date.”
Make that two someones.
I shook my head at the two dancing morons. My brothers hadn’t aged past twelve in some respects.
The front door banged shut. I turned to find Maddie gone, and Hope shaking her head at her moronic fiancé.
That was my cue. I made sure to whap both of my brothers on the back of their heads as I passed by.
“See you fools tomorrow at work. G’night, Aunt Wendy. Thanks for dinner. Night, Brian. Ladies. Congrats again, Rachel—that is you’re still sure you want to marry that.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes.
I opened the front door and stepped into the quiet night. Despite my resolve to do this, my nerves still jangled. What happened next had the potential to backfire in my face.
But life wasn’t worth living if you weren’t willing to take some risks.
Chapter Seven
Maddie
The one thing I’d wanted for the longest time was about to come true, and I was doing my damnedest to keep my dinner down. Sitting in my car down the street from B-Side bar, I wasn’t sure I could go through with it.
Did he want me for real? Or was this all some elaborate plan to lecture me about the evils of internet dating? If he did that, I don’t think I could handle it.
Could he ever want more with me? Or was this just a hookup?
He had to know it was me, right?
Oh god. What if he was disappointed?
All those thoughts and d
oubts swirled around inside my head until I was close to hyperventilating.
My phone chimed with a message from my dating app. I was almost too scared to look. Since I’d set up my profile, I’d been inundated with so many dick pics and icky messages I’d come close to deleting the app altogether. Why did guys think it was okay to lead with their dicks? I don’t think I’d ever looked at a picture of one and thought I had to have that one—that one is the best of all the dicks. Really, if you’ve seen one dick pic, you’d seen more than enough. After less than twenty-four hours, I was ready to give up on the male species.
Until Nathan’s message had come through.
I’d known instantly it was him. He’d been trying to hide his identity by posing coyly, cropping his face out and covering his Badass Builds tat, but I’d recognize those abs and the rest of his tats anywhere.
And now Nathan was inside that bar, waiting for me to show up.
Me.
He wanted me.
I could do this. I wanted to do this.
I’d wanted Nathan for forever and it was finally happening.
With a new resolve, I pushed open my door and stepped out of my car. It became my mantra as I walked toward the bar. I could do this. I wanted to do this. Nathan. I was filled with determination right up until I let the door close behind me.
My heart pounding in my ears, I saw him sitting at the bar. Nathan Burns. My lifelong crush…
…had a woman sitting next to him.
She was everything I wasn’t. Blonde. Thin. Made up perfectly from her long nails to her lashes to her sleekly curled hair. And all but hanging over my man. Her hand ran along his arm as she leaned over to whisper in his ear. Nathan wasn’t touching her, but she had his attention. How could she not? She was gorgeous.
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