by Cole Bates
I reached down now and ran my hand across the crotch of my jeans. My cock was as hard as a rock. I clicked on one of the full-length videos and just as I was about to mute it I had a terrible idea…what if I left the volume up? What if Alex heard the sex noises, the grunting and groaning…all male? I shook that idea off and wondered where in the hell it even came from. I’d only just admitted to myself that I was gay. There is no way in hell I was admitting it to anyone else, especially my gay step-brother.
I unbuttoned my jeans and slid my hand down inside my shorts. I wrapped my fist around my cock and squeezed it as I closed my eyes. As soon as I did I had a vision…of Alex’s face. Shit! I tore my eyes open and looked back at the video. Neither of the guys looked anything like Alex. Why was I thinking about him? Shit. I closed the video down and went back over to my bed. I stripped off all of my clothes and lay down on top of the comforter. I’m not sure what the hell is going on with me but I did know that I needed to rub one out and I needed it now. I need to rub one out. I can’t stand it anymore. I reached over into the nightstand and fished out the bottle of lube that I hide way in the back…just in case Linda gets nosy while she’s cleaning. I squeezed some of the lube into my right hand and then rubbed my hands together to warm it. Then I closed my eyes and reached down and took my raging hard cock back in my fist and started rubbing it. I rubbed it slowly at first and with the other hand I reached up and ran my fingers across my nipples. I started jerking a little faster as I pinched and pulled on each one and suddenly Alex was back in my head again. I’d only seen him with his shirt off once. I walked in on him accidentally when he didn’t lock the bathroom door. He had a towel around his waist but his chest was bare and I couldn’t help but notice that he had nice, round nipples. Suddenly I was imagining sucking and licking them. I stopped stroking and pulled my eyes open again. What the hell? I’d never fantasized about Alex before. Suddenly I couldn’t get him out of my head.
I looked over at the closed bathroom door and thought about him being only twelve feet away. I got goose bumps all over my arms and chest and my cock jumped. I finally decided fuck-it…who was going to know. I closed my eyes again, took my cock in my hand and pinched my nipples hard, this time letting myself go crazy in my head. Alex was on top of me and he was sucking my nipples and nibbling on them. Where my hand was I imagined feeling his hard cock rubbing up against mine. My hands were on his ass, that perfect, round ass. I was really rubbing my cock now. I let my hand drift down and ran it over my balls and imagined they were Alex’s. I was touching my cute little step-brother’s balls. I groaned and then reminded myself not to be so loud. I opened my eyes and looked down at my cock. As I ran my hand up to the head of it I used one of my fingers to trace the head and I pictured Alex down between my legs, licking it with his tongue. Jesus that was a hot picture. I’d love to feel my throbbing cock in his mouth, between his full lips while those sexy caramel eyes are looking up at me. I glanced over at the dresser. I could see myself jerking off and I imagined being able to see his sweet ass in the air as he went down on me. I groaned again. My cock was leaking precum and I was already almost ready to explode. I never came this fast. Sometimes my hand would get so sore I’d have to do it in two sessions. But all of a sudden I feel like I want to shoot a load already and it’s all because the idea of my step-brother sucking my cock is so hot. I had to reach over and put the pillow across my face so I had something to bite down on. I was so turned on I wanted to moan out loud. I focused on beating my cock with the image of Alex sucking it into the back of his throat in my head. It was only minutes before I was coming a fucking bucketful as I imagined that my cock was still in his mouth and he was working his throat muscles across it as I shot my load.
I came for a really long time and then I held onto my cock and lay there almost in a trance even longer. I was shaking and sweating. I can’t remember ever being so turned on, even the one time I did have sex with the hottest girl in our class. Jesus Christ, I’m not only gay, I’m attracted to my step-brother. What now?
Chapter Seven
Alex
I was sitting on Alex’s bed again the next afternoon. His mood was much darker today. I cleared my throat and said, “Okay so finals are coming up before spring break and the instructors gave me some study guides…” I stopped there. My step-brother was staring at the blank screen of his computer while I was talking to him and tapping a pencil against the edge of the desk. “Hey! Ryan!”
“What?” he snapped, still not looking at me.
“Are you listening to me?”
He looked at me then and said, “I’m trying like hell not to but your voice just keeps droning on and on.”
“Do you want to do this or not?”
“I think we already established that I don’t want to do this shit.” I started packing up the papers I’d just laid out on the bed. “Oh don’t get in a fucking snit, you’re such a girl sometimes. I didn’t say I wasn’t going to do it.”
I took a deep breath and said, “You need to get serious.”
“I’m here instead of hanging out in the Jacuzzi at Scott’s house so I’d say that makes me fucking serious.”
“How sad, missing an event where you get to look at Scott in a speedo.”
He stood up all of a sudden and nearly knocked the computer off the desk. “What the fuck are you trying to say?”
I looked at him like he was crazy since he was acting like he was crazy. “I’m not trying to say anything. I hate fucking Scott, that’s all. Jesus, what is wrong with you today?”
He dropped back down in the chair. “I’m just sick of this. I’m sick of spending all of my time with you.”
“This is our second day.”
“Yeah, well that’s two days too many.”
“Okay, that’s it, I’m out of here. I have other things I could be doing too.”
“Like what, getting ready for your sissy play or helping mommy bake cookies?”
“Go fuck yourself. You’re just jealous because…” I stopped there. I almost couldn’t believe what I was about to say. If he didn’t already know it, I confirmed it when my eyes went to the picture of his dead mother. He stood up and took a step toward me. I was shaking but I didn’t move. At six-foot-three Ryan is a lot taller than me when we’re face to face. He used his size to try and intimidate me as he towered over me. Normally that would piss me off, but in this case, I felt like I had it coming. His fists were clenched at his sides and the veins in his neck were bulging. I finally looked up at him and said, “I’m sorry man. That was uncalled for.”
“Damned right it was uncalled for you little bastard. Don’t you ever mention my mother.”
“I said I was sorry. Now come on Ryan we’ve been getting along. Let’s not start this shit again. I’m just here trying to help you.”
His dark mood had grown darker and he started spewing venom in my direction, “Fuck you. Fuck Civics. Fuck Economics. Fuck Composition and most of all Fuck Math. I’m going to sit in a Jacuzzi with some hot girls with big tits and tight pussies. Fuck this shit.” He grabbed his wallet and keys off of the nightstand and stormed out. I stood there and wondered what happened between yesterday and today to make him hate me again. Yesterday I actually felt like there was hope for us. With a sigh, I started gathering the rest of my things. I heard a noise in the hallway and thought he’d come back. I turned around and saw my mother standing in the doorway.
“You okay?”
I smiled sadly, “Yeah, I think I just got fired.”
“I heard him yelling and I was on my way up when he barreled past me on the stairs. I thought he was going to knock me out of his way.”
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“Oh no, of course not. He wouldn’t hurt me.” I’m not sure what my face looked like at that moment but she said, “Ryan hasn’t ever hurt you, has he?” I thought back to the days before Marty and Mom started dating. Ryan had hurt me plenty of times, never badly but he was always in on whatever th
e other guys were doing back then. I guess maybe I got too comfortable lately and let my guard down. He was still Ryan Reed and people don’t change that much, do they?
“No Mom, he’s never hurt me. He just gets ugly with his words.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry. Marty told me he used to have the same problem and he grew out of it. Just hot-headed young men. Hopefully, you and Ryan can be friends someday.”
She’s such a dreamer sometimes. I smiled at her and we both walked out of Ryan’s room. “It’s not your fault,” I told her. “Besides, I didn’t expect this to go so well from the start.”
“I hope that someday you boys can get along.”
I laughed. “Grown ass men, Mom.”
She laughed too, “Oh yes, I forgot. You want to bake cookies with me?”
That was a cheap shot on her part. She knows I can’t resist cookies straight out of the oven. I thought about what Ryan said and laughed again. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter Eight
Ryan
I drank too much at Scott’s house on Friday night and I spent the rest of the weekend avoiding my “family” like the plague. I felt bad for being so mean to Alex but the feelings I was having for him were tearing me apart inside and I didn’t know what the fuck to do with them. Feeling bad for him was even new. In the past, unless we were tormenting him at school, I barely gave him a second thought. Linda tried talking to me about the study sessions on Sunday and I shut her down. I ran into my dad on the stairs and all I got from him was a steely glare. Sunday night when I fell asleep I had a dream. It was a vivid dream and I have no idea where the fuck it came from.
I was sitting in a chair in our living room and my father was looming over me. In reality, I’m bigger than him now but he still has this presence that makes it feel like he’s the biggest guy in any room. I looked up at him and said, “If I had come out in high school I would have gotten drummed off the baseball team and baseball was my only hope of going to college.”
“But why?”
“Why? I don’t know dad. Have you ever asked yourself why you like women?”
“No, because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You’re a man damn it!”
“I get that Dad,” I said, calmly. “I heard that my whole life. In kindergarten, you called me a stud when I got the most Valentines in class from the little girls. When I was in middle school and you used to make me practice baseball two hours every day at home after practice you’d tell me to be a man and suck it up and stop being a sissy. What did that even mean Dad, be a man? Did you mean to be a man like you? Or did you mean a man like say…Alex.”
He sighed and sat down on the couch. “I shouldn’t have said those things. Before I met Alex I never personally knew anyone that was gay. Alex is okay, he’s a good kid.”
“But you’re wrong Dad. You did know someone else who was gay. You knew me.”
“Stop saying that. You’re just confused.”
“No Dad, this is the first time in my life that I’m not confused. I’m going to marry Alex.”
“Alex! That’s who you’re “in love” with?” He actually used air quotes and I was surprised at how angry that made me.
“I am in love with him. I’ve been in love with him for a long time. He’s the only one I want. I want to fall asleep in his arms every night…” My father put his big hands over his ears.
“Stop it!”
“Why Dad because you can’t stand the idea of having a gay son?”
He stood up and shook his head. Then he laughed and went over to the front door. I watched as he opened it and the entire baseball team and coach walked in. “Tell them you’re gay.”
Scott and Lance busted up laughing. “No fucking way! Ryan fucking Reed has tapped every pussy in school.”
“I didn’t. I lied.”
They looked confused. “You lied?” Lance asked.
“Yeah, Kelly Martin was the only one I ever had sex with.”
They laughed again. “Well that’s okay, she’s the hottest. I wouldn’t need to fuck anyone else either.”
“We only did it once and I hated it. It didn’t feel natural. Now with Alex…”
“Alex? You’re fucking Pretty Penny?”
I smiled. “Every chance I get. Come in here pretty.”
Alex came in from the kitchen wearing an apron and nothing else. He came over to where I was sitting and bent down and gave me a long, hot kiss. I could hear them all moaning and gagging in the background so to amp them up I reached around and grabbed his bare ass.
“I can’t believe it,” I heard Scott say, “Ryan Reed is a faggot.” There was a knock on the door. I pulled out of the kiss and looked around. Everyone was gone and I was back in my own room, in my own bed. I heard the knock again and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.
“What?”
“Ryan, it’s Linda, are you coming down for breakfast?”
“Um, no. I’m not hungry.” I thought about what an ass I’d been all weekend and added a “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” I heard her move to Alex’s room and knock on his door. That was when I flashed back to the dream. What the hell is wrong with me? I need a fucking psychiatrist. There is no way in hell I am ever telling my father that I’m attracted to men and no fucking way I’d ever marry a man…not even Alex.
I threw back the covers and climbed out of bed. I was drenched in sweat and my shorts were stuck to me like a second skin. My morning wood was present and accounted for, but I wasn’t touching it today. I wasn’t about to take the chance that Alex will find his way into my fantasies…again.
********
My day was all fucked up after that stupid dream. I took a long, cold shower with the object of my angst banging on the door and asking me if I was going to be in there all day. I resisted telling him to go fuck himself and for a fraction of a second, I actually considered inviting him in. Jesus, I’m losing it. Finally, I just said,
“In a minute.” I got dressed quickly once I finished and left for school before I ran into him in the kitchen or the hallway. As soon as I got to school I ran into Fritz in the hallway. I just can’t win lately.
“Mr. Reed?”
I stopped and decided to try a new approach. “Good morning Mr. Fritz.”
He looked at me suspiciously and said, “Good morning. Did you bring in those extra assignments today?”
“Um…no, sir. I haven’t quite finished them.”
He raised a bushy eyebrow and sighed. “Finals are Friday. I’d like to see those completed no later tomorrow so that I can get them graded and include them in your final grade.”
“Tomorrow huh?”
“Yes, Mr. Reed. Tomorrow. That is the day after today. You must be doing astoundingly well in grammar class.” He sighed and said, “I trust I’ll see your bored face in fourth period?”
“Yes sir, I’ll be there.” He walked away and I felt sick, again. It seems like lately, that’s how I feel all the fucking time. It only got worse from there. I went to my first-period composition class and took my seat in the back of the room. Brandy Lincoln, one of the cheerleaders for football and basketball season came in behind me. Instead of sitting in her normal seat she sat next to me and as people were still filing in she leaned over and said,
“Ryan, you need to talk to Kelly.” Kelly Martin was the girl I’d had sex with after winter formal. Not that anyone but me knows this, but the only girl I’d ever had sex with. She’d been calling and texting me and I’d been dodging her like crazy. The first couple of times I saw her after that night she acted like I was her boyfriend. I didn’t want a girlfriend. I’m not even sure I could get it up for her if I wasn’t drunk.
“I’ll call her,” I told Brandy, trying to brush her off.
“She says you’ve been not returning her calls for almost two months.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Oh really? You weren’t too busy to fuck her in the backseat of your car, were you?”
“She might be pregnant. Call her.”
My head might just explode. I suffered through composition class after that and a lecture from my instructor about not turning in the essay that was due on Friday. I got the same B.S. in Civics class. Mr. Fritz glared at me all the way through math. I nearly ran to my car after class so that I wouldn’t have to deal with anyone at lunch time. I was just letting out a sigh of relief when I looked over and saw Kelly Martin standing against her own car with her arms folded. Shit.
“Hey, Kelly.”
“He remembers my name.”
“Kelly, I’m sorry I never called you back…”
“Save it. I’ve heard all of that bullshit before. You’re all alike. Listen, we may have made a baby.” She said it so matter-of-factly.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “I specifically remember using a condom.”
“Condoms break.”
“That one didn’t.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“No, just saying maybe you’re mistaken. Have you taken a test?”
“No, but I missed my period, twice.”
“You should take a test. Have you been with anyone else?”
“Now you’re calling me a whore?”
“No, Jesus! Stop putting words in my mouth! I’m just trying to figure this out. Why don’t we go buy a test right now?”
“It won’t do any good to take one at this time of day. You have to pee on them first thing in the morning.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if she knew that from experience. I sighed and said, “Okay, we’ll buy it and you can pee on it in the morning.”
“I can buy my own test.”