Bear Caves Complete Series: A Bear Shifter Box Set

by Mia Wolf

  Family, I think again. Family sounds like a good purpose to have.

  Chapter 7 – Rose

  The mint colored sun-dress hangs on Jessica’s shoulders, creasing in all the right places. Making something for the belly-bump was a challenge I couldn’t walk away from even though I’m swamped with work for the show. I stick the final pin in Jessica’s hair and admire my masterpiece in the mirror.

  “Is it too tight on the abdomen?” I ask even though it doesn’t look like it, I made sure of that. Jessica and Joshua are a little too careful about their baby. If I wasn’t their friend, I’d call them psychotic.

  They can worry their life away all they want, but tonight, I want them to cherish their time together.

  “It makes me look prettier than I really am,” Jessica responds twisting her face this way and that, eyeing herself in the mirror. “You have magic hands, Rose.”

  I can’t help but smile at the remark. Even though Jessica definitely has a biased opinion about my skills, it doesn’t hurt to get praised for something I did.

  I always considered myself the confident type, the go-getter. I thought I was the kind of person who went out and made stuff happen. To be very honest, I might have been that kind of a person at some point in life. I just steadily lost it all, I suppose. It wasn’t until Jessica had nudged me to put my designs online that it occurred to me that I might be good enough for people to want to wear the things I make. And now I’m going to be presenting at Regal fashion week in New York. It still doesn’t feel real.

  Throwing myself into fashion design had always been freeing for me, even when I was still in school. It was almost like it set me free from my birdcage like I had been trapped the whole time, and I could finally spread my wings. Creating something that came from my brain is a feeling like no other. And now, years after first starting out, I finally want people to see what I’m capable of. Woods forbid, I haven’t felt this alive in a lifetime.

  I make final adjustments to Jessica’s look, put a tint of pink on her cheeks, and give her a barrette that looks like ivy to match her mint dress and a loose hanging belt made of the same fabric as her Shoma to go around her waist. And with those tiny little additions, all of Jessica’s curves now beg to be explored.

  “Tell Joshua I said, ‘you’re welcome,’” I say and wink at her in the mirror. “And try to take it easy, both of you.” The last thing I want is for the dress to go wasted on a date where all these two do is spend time worrying some more. The baby isn’t even out yet. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle them once they’re parents of a toddler that can’t hold its own weight upright.

  “We’ll try,” Jessica barely lets out through her pursed lips. Her flushed face tells me all that I need to know about what’s on her mind. It makes me smile some more. My job is done.

  I pick up the mess of clothes strewn all across my room. The artistic process can be chaotic sometimes.

  “When are you planning on going on a date?” Jessica asks still idly drinking in her own reflection.

  She doesn’t notice me freeze up. It’s a simple question, just answer or make some excuse. I try to convince my mind that there is no threat, but it doesn't listen. I know Jessica only brings it up in good humor and for her love for me, but I don’t know how to tell her why it makes me so goddamn uncomfortable to even think about dating.

  I muster up some courage to speak.

  “I’ve tried dating in the past. Let’s just say, it’s not for me,” I say feigning a voice that sounds playful instead of bitter which is how I truly feel about it and hope that this conversation ends right here.

  “I know. I’ve heard that before, Rose,” Jessica says. “Every time I bring it up, you grow quiet. I can tell it hurts you somehow to talk about dating. I don’t know what it is, but if you want to talk about it,” she pauses, “you know I’ll always listen, right?”

  I let go of the white, floral-pattern shirt in my hands half-way through picking it up as the memories come flooding back to me. I swallow hard and reach for the piece of furniture closest to me. I hold myself up and take a moment to catch my wits, relieved to know that Jessica hasn’t noticed anything.

  When I don’t speak for a while, Jessica turns around and pins me with her gaze. It makes me run that mental calculation in my head that I always do in moments like these. Will this person care enough to listen to me, pay attention to what I have to say, and not stop being my friend after I’m done? I know I can tell it all to Jessica, but she’ll never look at me the same way again.

  “I don’t think you’ll like me very much if I tell you,” I say looking straight back at her. There is momentary fear on Jessica’s face, and I almost think I’ve made a mistake already.

  “Rose,” Jessica snaps me out of my head. “I kept loving Joshua even after finding out that he’s a bear shifter. Just like I kept liking you, too. Bear or not. It’s you that I care about and that will not change no matter what your past looks like.”

  I sigh and contemplate the promise. I feel like even if telling Jessica might be a mistake, I want to make it. I don’t want to be burdened by the past like this. With weak knees, I sit down at the edge of my bed, and Jessica comes and sits beside me.

  “After university,” I begin but pause to clear my throat, “I dated this guy. His name was Michael, and we were together for four years. Far longer than we should’ve if you ask me now. Actually, we should’ve never been together.” Remorse and regret find easy access into my words. I can feel something resembling hurt rise up my chest, and it comes out as a tremble in my words. “He was the biggest mistake I ever made.”

  “What happened?” Jessica asks when I stay quiet for a heartbeat.

  I look up and gaze at myself in the mirror instead. I think back to how things were between Michael and me, how I’d changed myself to suit Michael’s needs, how I’d grown smaller, weaker, fragile, almost ready to snap at any moment. I gather some courage to speak again.

  “It’s harmless when it starts, you know. ‘You’d look prettier in the red dress,’ he would say, and I would agree. Four missed calls on my phone if I was a minute late for our date because he was so worried about me. He would casually suggest me to stop talking to a male colleague because of how it made him feel.” Jessica stares at my fist as I rub my sweaty palms. “One moment you think you know how to take care of yourself. You tell yourself, if he ever tried to hurt you, you wouldn’t be the type to get scared and take it in silence. That you would be stronger. I was weak.” I feel the tears coming. “I was weak, Jessica. And I paid for it by losing myself.”

  The truth hangs in the air, caught between our breaths. Out for the first time since it happened. “And so I’ve locked myself up in my tower where I am safe and guarded,” I say my eyes moving across the space around me. “The fragile princess is carefully nestled in the castle of her own device,” I snort through my sobs.

  Jessica puts a gentle arm around my shoulder and places her head on the other one.

  “Don’t feel sorry for me or anything,” I tell her because she looks so sad like I’d just broken her heart in a million pieces. “I don’t feel sorry for myself.”

  “Oh Rose,” Jessica says. “I had no idea. And I can’t believe that bastard treated you like that. You must have had so much courage to be able to leave him. Don’t ever let someone like him stop you believing in love again! You know what I see when I look at you? I see a blazing fire. I know it’ll take someone really special to sway you again. All I ask,” Jessica turns me towards her and looks me square in the eye, “is that when you find someone like that, do yourself a favor and don’t run away. Believe it or not, love is always about courage.”

  Don’t run away. It’s a command. But if I am very honest, I wouldn’t know love if it hit me in the face. My mind immediately turns to Andrew, and I can’t make sense of it. Love is a strong word for what I’m feeling for Andrew. We merely have physical attraction. Without having met each other? goes a little nagging voice in my head.
How does that matter? My feelings for Andrew are purely physical. He is an attractive man, it makes sense.

  I don’t tell this to Jessica, though. Her motherly instincts are too sharp right now, and something tells me she wouldn’t let it go if I told her what’s going through my head. Plus, I can’t wait for this conversation to end because deep down I know love is, in fact, always about courage, and I’m far from brave.

  “The thing I regret the most about that relationship is losing my job. I never really did recover from it,” I say and put a gentle hand on Jessica’s which still rests on my shoulder. “When you told me I should do fashion design and set up a website and put myself out there, you know what that meant to me? It reminded me of what I’m capable of. You’ve been an amazing friend.”

  “Oh pish posh,” Jessica blurts out in rapture. Her nose crinkles as she smiles at me, and it looks like she might cry. She told me before that the hormones are making her cry at the tiniest things. “I didn’t even do it for you. Frankly, I think I’m doing the world a favor.”

  That makes me laugh.

  “Speaking of the website, I set up the payment method option yesterday. You’re good to go, you should be able to receive orders online now.”

  I pass her an imperceptible nod as she gets up from my bed to leave.

  “Also, don’t forget me when you become famous. I’m also free for a remote assistant position. I have experience in the fashion industry,” Jessica says with a hint of mischief in her voice.

  I chuckle.

  “I’ll keep it in mind, ma’am.”

  I might actually have to take her up on her offer.

  Before leaving, Jessica does a final check trying to make sure I’m not hiding any of my nervousness about going to New York.

  “If I can help you in any way, you let me know, okay?” she says for the hundredth time.

  “Taking care of yourself right now, you’d be doing me a huge favor. I’m so sorry that I can’t be around when you need someone with you in the village,” I say with a genuine discomforting edge to my words. I don’t feel too good about leaving her when she’s about to give birth.

  “Joshua actually takes pretty good care of me. So you don’t need to worry about that.” Jessica averts her eyes to avoid seeing the growing smirk that I have on my face.

  I’m glad they have each other.

  “Keep me updated when I’m away,” I order Jessica. She’s due around the time of the fashion week, so I will be coming home to their baby. I cannot believe that I’ll be missing the birth, but the prospect of seeing their little cub fills me with love for life.

  “Rose,” Jessica says seriously, and when I lift my head, I find her staring intently at me. I tilt my head in question when she doesn’t finish her sentence.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “You’re glowing,” Jessica blurts out.

  I blush at the statement. She’s right, I think to myself while catching my reflection in the mirror on the opposite wall. What’s there not to love about life right now? I’m presenting at Regal for wood’s sake, my best friend is about to have a baby, and then there’s Andrew. All the thoughts in my head hush at the same time and they come out like a smile. There is nothing going on with him, I try to convince myself. I don’t want to tell Jessica about him, but the raised eyebrow on her face means she’s already onto something. Her mother instincts are killing me.

  “I love everything about my life right now, Jessica. I haven’t felt this good in a long time.” I pause and clear my throat to give her the information she’s waiting for. “And then there’s someone. A guy.”

  “A guy,” Jessica says with a tone as if she had no idea. The curiosity in her words is through the roof. I roll my eyes at her, she can be dramatic sometimes. “What guy? Why am I only hearing about this now?”

  “Because I only started talking to him yesterday?”

  That quiets her.

  “His name is Andrew, and he’s one of the models for my show,” I say. The expression on Jessica's face is self-explanatory. It clearly says, “show me pictures, girl.”

  I unlock my phone and show her the profile picture from the messenger. Jessica eyes it open-mouthed, and it makes me chuckle. She looks like a teenager trapped in a grown woman’s body. Or perhaps, it’s all the hormones bringing her teenage self back to life.

  “I don’t think I want anything to happen, though,” I say idly looking at the mirror.

  “Are you blind?” is Jessica’s articulate response to that.

  “Well, I’ll consider it after the show is done. Until then I’m not distracting myself with anything.” Or anyone.

  Jessica replies with a long “hmm.” “I see how this can be distracting,” she says tilting her head at the picture first then tilting the phone and checking Andrew out from every angle.

  “He has a very attractive face, Rose,” Jessica says matter-of-factly. I laugh at that.

  “So it’s not just me,” I say more to myself.

  “No girl. Not just you.” Jessica reluctantly gives my phone back to me then presses her lips.

  I think I know what’s coming. She has that motherly look in her eyes again.

  “Take care of yourself there.”

  I pass Jessica a confident nod in response hoping it suffices. For once, it does.

  Chapter 8 – Andrew

  Checking the date makes me realize that Rose is coming to New York today. I contemplate sending her flowers. She’s probably staying at a hotel, I could ask Ashley Wang about her whereabouts. Obviously, figuring out where she’s staying would be a breeze for my team, too. Or would Rose find that creepy and think that I’m stalking her? Then it hits me: I could send the flowers to Regal’s headquarters, that’s far less creepy.

  I phone Jackson to tell him to send the flowers.

  “Send something in silver tones if you can manage,” I tell him not knowing if silver flowers exist. That would get a reaction out of her, I grin to myself.

  I also decide to send her a text to further our conversation from her blatant rejection to go on a date with me. “Welcome to New York, Rose,” I type.

  “Thanks,” her response comes five minutes later, too terse for my taste.

  “I think I have an interesting proposition for you.”

  “I’m listening,” the text reads, to the point but cool. I curse under my breath. What have I done to offend her this badly? It’s killing me, but it’s so goddamn enticing at the same time.

  “Alright, let me put it this way. Would you like to customize the design for your showstopper in person? If so, I’m all yours.” I’m staring at my screen, enjoying the exchange far more than I should. C’mon Miss Maibach, how could you say no to that?

  “You make an interesting offer.”

  “That’s not an answer, Rose.” The need with which I want her to say yes tells me I’m in a whole lot of trouble this time.

  “Perhaps we can have a work date some time, grab a coffee.”

  My frown turns into a wide grin that’s probably inappropriate for the board meeting that I’m in the middle of right now. I send a final text before putting my phone back in my pocket.

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  Chapter 9 – Rose

  I take a cab from my hotel room to Regal’s office building in downtown Brooklyn, rubbing my sweaty palms the entire ride. I was informed that I won’t be meeting Ashley Wang and that she has left her assistant, Violet, in charge of the crew for my show. They’ll help me set-up the whole thing from the tryouts to the actual fashion week. The thought fills me with excitement and nervous energy simultaneously.

  When my cab comes to a halt in front of a tall glass building, I get out and tilt my head way up to see the top of the building. I have worked in New York before, a couple of years after finishing school, but this is a massive upgrade from that lousy experience. I take a deep breath as I take confident steps towards the entrance.

  The receptionist informs Violet of my arrival and tells
me she is on her way to pick me up. I observe the rush of people going in and out of the building. All of them dressed up in sophisticated, elegant, professional wear. The scene seems to be pulled straight out of a movie except unlike the protagonist, I do feel like I belong in this world. Hell, I feel like I was made for this world.

  I breathe in deeply and smile at the woman who is rushing towards me while speaking frantically into a headset that she’s wearing.

  “Rose?” she asks me covering the microphone then smiles when I give her a nod of affirmation.

  “This way,” she says and leads me to the elevator area. She presses a button to go down to the auditorium in the basement, and I make a mental note of it. I’ll be working here now, and I want to be able to find my way around. I’m glad, for once, that I used to work in New York; this city doesn’t really feel foreign to me even after all these years. In contrast, I feel oddly at home. Not a lot of people say that about New York.

  When we leave the elevator, we arrive at a dimly lit hallway. Violet is still occupied with her headset. At one point she even mentions my name which reassures me that she hasn’t forgotten I’m here with her.

  I look around me, trying to take it all in. Half of me is doing internal somersaults while the other half is shocked out of her wits that this can be happening to me. I put a leash on both of those sides of me since I still have hours and hours of work to go through before this show can be turned into what it looks like in my head.

  “Hi, Rose. Sorry about all that talking. Just running errands upon errands down here,” Violet says once she’s done speaking. She’s still huffing from talking so fast.

  “You can catch your breath,” I tell her with a smile. “I’m going to be here for a while.”