‘Why—no, of course not. Rosa? Is that agreeable to you?’
Rosa glared at him. She didn’t want to walk with him anywhere, but to refuse him would probably cause a scene. Smiling tightly, she took his proffered hand and climbed out of the carriage. They did not speak until they reached the edge of the crowd and William led her into the privacy of some trees. She turned and faced him, almost overawed by his nearness and trying to break the connection he was beginning to stir inside her.
‘I don’t know what you hope to achieve by this, William. I think we have walked far enough,’ she uttered frostily, coming to a standstill. ‘Everything has been said between us before I left Berkshire.’
‘Has it?’
‘Yes. And I must thank you for being so frank with me.’
‘I came to London to see you, Rosa. Yes, there were other reasons that brought me, but my main reason was to see you. We can’t leave things like this between us.’
Without emotion, Rosa stood perfectly still as William came closer. There was an aura of calm authority about him. His expression was now blank and impervious, and he looked unbearably handsome. The sight of his chiselled features and bold blue eyes never failed to stir her heart, but she was resolved to keep him at arm’s length. She would not humble herself at this man’s feet, and pride—abused, stubborn, outraged pride—straightened her back and brought her head up high as she met his steady gaze.
William stood looking down at her, deep into her eyes. At that moment she was the epitome of a stubborn, prideful woman. And he had not ever seen anyone more beautiful.
He was seized by a passionate longing to protect and revere this lovely young woman who had crept into his heart. He ached to treat her as she should be treated, to tread the hesitant steps of courtship and woo her as she deserved. He gazed down at her pale face, looking deep into her entrancing green eyes, and he felt himself overcome and gripped by the same coldness that had flowed out of her when they had parted in Berkshire. He observed with sorrow that the pink bloom he had adored so much had gone from her cheeks and the aching sadness dulling her lovely eyes dragged at his spirit. Never had his heart felt so heavy.
Rosa looked at the forceful, dynamic man standing before her. He looked powerful and aloof and disgustingly self-assured. ‘We should not be here. After everything that has happened, how dare you try to manipulate me as if I am yours to direct—just as though you have a perfect right to.’
Beneath the dappled light of the tall trees, her unparalleled beauty proved a strong lodestone from which William could not drag his gaze. Quietly, he said, ‘All I wanted was to speak to you alone.’
Rosa did her best to hold in the resentment she felt, to be dignified, but it was very hard and her expression was icy. ‘Nothing you can say can undo what you have done to me.’
‘I would like to try. You look tired,’ he said quietly.
‘My state of health need not concern you.’
‘But it does. I feel that I am responsible.’
‘Please don’t flatter yourself.’
‘I don’t. It was not my intention to cause you pain. There is something I have to say to you.’
‘Really? Tell me.’
‘I want to say that I am sorry. Can you possibly forgive me for—?’
‘What?’ she interrupted sharply. ‘Jilting me? No, William, I don’t think I can. I understand perfectly why you did, but it doesn’t lessen the disappointment. Although I suppose we should be thankful your visitor from India arrived before you made the mistake in marrying me. I would not have been so easily got rid of then. And what flight of fancy leads you to suppose that I will forgive you?’
‘I can but live in hope.’
‘Please don’t bother. What you did hurt me deeply, humiliated me. If you cannot see that, then you are more insensitive than I realised.’
‘But I do. I knew it the moment I told you the wedding would not take place.’
‘Forgive me if I do not believe you. I have no other recourse but to consider myself entirely free of any commitments to you. You owe me nothing, William—no explanation—nothing.’
‘You were engaged to be my wife. Please allow me a little of your time?’
‘No—better not. Since you left me I have thought long and hard about my future. Aunt Clara has been a godsend. I enjoy what I do—helping her with her work. For the first time in my life I have something to focus on, a purpose in my life. I feel needed—useful—and I have found a way to make use of my wealth. When people are starving and children don’t have a family or a roof over their heads, children who are bred to dirt, disease and grinding poverty, they don’t question the source of their good fortune when I put food into their bellies. I don’t expect you to understand that and I don’t really care. At this present time marriage is not on my agenda.’
Her sharp reply brought a tight smile to his lips. ‘I don’t suppose it is, but if you change your mind then it should not be a problem. You have plenty of money to buy yourself another husband and you have other assets to your credit besides your money.’ He spoke with suave brutality, his insolent gaze raking over her.
William’s jibe, savage and taunting, flicked over Rosa like a whiplash. Stung to anger by his harsh words, hot colour flooded her cheeks and her soft lips tightened as she exerted every ounce of her control to keep her temper and her emotions in check. ‘I apologise for approaching you in the first place. It would seem there had been some misunderstanding on my part.’
William sighed, his anger beginning to dissipate. He had not meant to speak so harshly or so brutally, but her persistent resentment had provoked him. ‘No, Rosa, there was no misunderstanding, although I think your actions are indicative of your character.’
‘And you know me well enough to have made a judgement of my character, I suppose?’ she said acidly.
He nodded slowly. ‘I think I have known you long enough to make a fair judgement of your temperament. You are intelligent and generous, which are both noble assets. But you are a stubborn young woman and you have a quick temper and a sharp tongue. You also have a propensity to recklessness and to jump to conclusions. I fully understand why you offered me your money as well as yourself, and for what it’s worth it touched me deeply. But when I marry I will do the asking. It will be on my terms and it will not have anything to do with money.’
‘Then you should have told me that in the beginning.’ With a great effort she made her voice cold, implacable and determined. ‘The fact is that no matter what has happened between us, you will always be Lord Ashurst, the Earl of Ashurst, whereas I will always be the daughter of a plantation owner. So taking that into account, how could I possibly have imagined for one moment that I—or Clarissa, for that matter—would make you a suitable wife? All things considered, it would have been best if I had never met you.’
William stood gazing down at her, looking deep into her eyes. ‘Don’t be angry, Rosa. I have no wish to argue with you. Have you come to hate me in so short a time?’
A deadly calm settled over Rosa, banishing everything but her hurt and disappointment. Her small chin lifted, her spine stiffened, and she stood before him looking like a proud young queen, her eyes sparking like twin jewels.
‘Hate? I don’t hate you. Let us be honest, you had no interest in me as your wife. I never saw any evidence of that.’
‘I didn’t realise you wanted me to. Ours was a business arrangement—that was how you wanted it. I confess that I did not like the idea of being bought.’
‘It wasn’t like that—at least not the way I saw it. Did you have to wait until the eve of our wedding to realise it—to tell me? What you did was cruel.’
‘I’m sorry. But from the first time I laid eyes on you I knew you were different. You intrigued me. I wanted to know you better.’
‘Nevertheless, your actions led me to believe otherwise—that you wer
e unwilling to accept me as your wife. I don’t know why you are here or what it is that you want from me, but if it is because you have come to tell me that you have made a mistake, that you have changed your mind,’ she said, even though she suspected he might already have accepted Lady Willoughby’s suit, ‘then I feel I must tell you that I have a reluctance to consider you as my husband. I think what you did was altogether reprehensible and your actions unforgivable. You are the most selfish man I have ever had the misfortune to meet. That I should be forced to this opinion of you after all I expected of you is—is painful to me. What we had is gone, past retrieving, so please save us both from embarrassment and refrain from speaking of it and visiting me again.’
‘I am sorry you feel like this. I shall not be happy until you tell me I am forgiven. What can I do to redeem myself in your eyes?’ He smiled crookedly at her, willing her to respond, but there was no answering spark in her eyes.
‘Nothing,’ she replied coldly. ‘It was wrong of me to approach you in the first place. I see that now. There has to be more to marriage than a business arrangement.’
William raised an eyebrow enquiringly, the corner of his mouth twisting wryly. ‘Such as love?’
‘I can’t answer that. I have experienced something like it once—but I strongly suspect that love is a contradiction of emotions which should be given freely and has nothing to do with marriage.’
‘And desire? Passion?’ he asked, regarding her closely, his gaze narrow and assessing.
‘At least desire and passion are honest emotions.’
‘And all-consuming,’ said William.
‘And I would say that there speaks a man of experience,’ she said coldly. ‘But I would think those kinds of emotions are not as consuming as love—which you must have experienced before with the lady you were to have married before she betrayed you with another.’
He nodded gravely, his eyes darkened. ‘You remembered.’
‘Yes. You must have loved her for her betrayal clearly affected you to the extent that you found it impossible to trust another woman. I would also say that when passions are spent they are easily appeased and forgotten,’ she remarked drily, referring to the kiss that had ignited passion between them, a passion they both knew would have flared into something more and run out of control had it not been checked. ‘But I forget, you were a soldier—tough and invulnerable. No doubt your training has taught you that a man need trust none but himself—and use women for naught but pleasure.’
‘You are beginning to sound like a romantic. I agree that lust, desire, passion—call it what you will—is good while it lasts. But it is fleeting—extinguished by the boredom of familiarity.’
It took Rosa a moment to answer, for he could not have made his feelings clearer, which made her even more determined to guard her heart. ‘You have an uncommon honesty about such matters,’ she said quietly.
‘I do not always find it easy to say what I think and feel. I am not accustomed to baring my soul.’
‘I suspect that it might have something to do with you being a military man. I strongly regret what happened between us—when you kissed me. Believe me, William, I am not the kind of woman to go around kissing just anyone—although I don’t suppose the same could be said of you.’
William’s firm lips twisted in a morose smile, while inwardly admiring her perception. ‘I have kissed many women I have been attracted to, but that does not mean to say that I wanted to marry any of them.’
‘Only one,’ Rosa was quick to remind him. She was conscious of a sudden surge of anger, realising just how stupid and naïve she had been. How dare he treat what had happened between them casually, as if the kiss was insignificant and meant nothing at all? But clearly this was nothing out of the ordinary and he was used to kissing ladies all over the place. After all, she thought bitterly, how would she know?
Mortified and humiliated, she nevertheless managed to lift her chin and look at him directly. ‘I do not have your experience. Now, if there is anything else you wish to say to me, please say it and then leave.’
Her words, spoken with simple honesty, gave William further insight into just how truly innocent she was. The coolness faded from his face, replaced by an expression so intense, so profoundly gentle. ‘You are a beautiful woman, Rosa,’ he said, his gaze lingering on her lips, remembering what it had felt like to kiss them.
Rosa gave a hard, contemptuous laugh, stiff with pride and anger, the humiliation and the hurt she had suffered at his hands never far away. ‘The passion that flared between us was enchanting while it lasted—but I soon realised that the magic was just an illusion.’
‘It needn’t be.’
‘Yes, it does. But I have much to thank you for,’ she said, her eyes shooting green sparks of anger and not wavering from his. ‘You see, from now on, if I ever find myself in a similar situation, I shall be too distrustful, too much on my guard against men’s wiles, to allow myself to be deceived by charm, soft words and a handsome face. I am my own woman now, William, and answerable to no one.’
‘And there is no prospective husband in the offing?’
‘No. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for ending our short engagement. I like my freedom and independence—which is something a husband isn’t likely to give me.’
‘That depends on the husband.’
‘Maybe. But for now you can leave me alone, knowing that you have at least achieved something. You can forget you ever met a stupid woman who quite shamelessly threw herself at your head.’
Halted abruptly in the midst of this unpremeditated outburst of feeling, William knew she was trying to punish him, but behind the hard expression and glib words, the real woman, the warm and passionate Rosa, was still to be found. His ill-considered treatment of her when he had cancelled their wedding that had driven a wedge between them had been replaced with this angry young woman who was being extremely careful at keeping him at arm’s length.
For a long moment, his eyes probed the dark depths of hers. He was profoundly aware of the enchanting young woman’s body standing close to him and her intoxicating perfume. His entire personality was pervaded by a shrewdness that had never taken principles into account, but only the fluctuations of human nature. He was clever, and he knew that when he held a woman in his arms he was very powerful. There was always a moment when the woman’s self-defence yielded before the lure of sensual rapture and he knew how to turn that moment to his advantage.
Unable to prevent himself, he reached out to touch her, taking her arm and drawing her further into the shelter of the trees, away from prying eyes.
‘That I can never do,’ he said, drawn by the softness in her bewitching eyes. Forgetful of where he was and mastered by a passion almost beyond his control, he took her face between his hands, his clear blue eyes penetrating as they probed hers. Desire was in his own and something more, something so profound that it held Rosa spellbound. ‘I haven’t handled things particularly well, have I, Rosa? When I saw you on the eve of our wedding I wasn’t considering your feelings.’
‘No, you were not.’
‘I came here because I couldn’t help myself,’ he said fiercely. ‘I do care about you. I don’t want to hurt you.’
Like a magnet William’s eyes were drawn to her mouth and he became lost in the exciting beauty of her. He watched the bright rays of the sun slanting through the trees strike gleams from her hair—the play of light on her face and lips, the soft lustre of her dark green eyes, held him in thrall.
‘William—please stop it,’ Rosa said, recognising the desire in the smouldering depths of his eyes and trying to push him away. He was much too close and she was beginning to feel distinctly uncomfortable. The tight tension of regret was beginning to form in her chest that she had not sent him on his way sooner. With wide, disbelieving eyes, she stared at him, not knowing what to think or how to feel. He reall
y was the most arrogant, outrageous man. ‘This is not a game.’
‘Pity. It was just getting interesting.’
Before Rosa could guess what he meant to do, an iron-thewed arm slipped about her waist and brought her against that broad chest. With her head reeling, she found herself imprisoned against him.
‘Please don’t do this,’ she murmured. ‘Not here—someone might see.’
‘To hell with them,’ he whispered thickly, ignoring her request as he purposefully held her chin firm and lowered his mouth to hers. ‘
‘Have you any idea how much I want to kiss you? And I think you want me to. Is that not so?’
‘Oh—I—I...’ She expelled her breath on a long sigh. ‘Yes,’ she whispered, ‘maybe...’
He smothered any protest she might make with a hungry, wildly exciting kiss, temporarily robbing her of her resistance, which fortified his determination to have her melt in his arms.
Rosa could not free her mouth from his. She thought to remain passive in his embrace and did not struggle as his mouth pressed upon hers, but her lips flamed with a fiery heat that warmed her whole body. It was as though she had never felt the touch of his lips or his arms around her. That was when she realised the idea was ludicrous and a gross miscalculation of her power to deny him, for the kiss went through her with the impact of a broadside. He ruthlessly laid siege to the defences of an inexperienced, virginal young woman until her traitorous body lost its power to struggle. The cry of warning issued by her mind was stifled by her pounding heart and the absolute pleasure of being in his arms.
The scent of his spicy cologne and his tender assault were more than she could withstand and with a silent moan of despair, she melted into his kiss, her lips parting beneath the sensual pressure and, at that moment, his tongue slid between them, invading her mouth and taking possession of her. Pleasure engulfed her as she became caught up in the moment. It was an extraordinary sensation to feel the heat of his body so close to hers, to feel the muscles in his chest and arms, his slim hips pressed to her own. Her eyes closed and the strength of his embrace and the hard pressure of his body made her all too aware of the danger she was in, that he was a strong, determined man and that he was treating her as he would any woman he had desire for. Her head swam and she was unable to still the violent tremor of delight that seized her, touching every nerve until they were aflame with desire. Her world began to tilt and she was lost in a dreamy limbo where nothing mattered but the closeness of his body and the circling protection of his arms.
A Vow for an Heiress Page 16