Still in a drug-induced state and unable to keep at bay the oncoming forces of sleep, with his rock-hard body glistening with sweat, William drifted away in a heavy slumber, losing all contact with reality and the young woman in his arms.
Rosa was aware of nothing but an immense, incredible joy, beyond which nothing was comparable. Her body was aglow, her limbs weighted with contentment. Sated and deliciously exhausted, her body and lips tender from his caresses, she slipped away from him. Gathering her clothes in her arms, she crept to the door and let herself out.
Chapter Nine
William opened his eyes and closed them quickly when pain stabbed through his eye sockets. He tried lifting his head, but there was a regiment of soldiers tramping through his skull. Completely disorientated, he lay without moving. He tried to remember the events of the night before that had rendered him senseless.
He remembered being at the institute with Rosa and Dhanu. Kapoor was there. He remembered the constables coming and taking him away and very little after that.
Images presented themselves one after another, pictures vibrant and strange. Dear God, what had possessed him? Carefully opening his eyes, he glanced about the room, seeing his clothes strewn over a chair, forcing himself to remember, to concentrate on certain things. Rosa’s face came to mind. Had she brought him here? Yes, he remembered climbing the stairs—and there was something else he had to resurrect, something to do with Rosa, something that was deliciously warm and passionate. Images of what had happened between them began to infiltrate his mind, images of how, even in his drugged state, he had made love to her. A mixture of incredulity and amazement worked slowly across his face. His heart pounding with disbelief, he experienced a wrenching pain of unbearable guilt and a profound feeling of self-loathing. Had she given herself willingly—in all truth he really could not remember—or had he forced himself on her? If he had, then how could he ever forgive himself? In a fit of lust he had robbed that beautiful, laughing girl of her innocence.
* * *
Rosa had informed Mrs Loxley of Lord Ashurst’s presence. She was clearly shocked to learn that Miss Ingram had brought a gentleman back to the house and allowed him to stay without her aunt and uncle’s permission, but apart from a few disapproving tuts she kept her opinions to herself. When Lord Ashurst appeared on the stairs and asked to see Miss Ingram, she directed him to the drawing room.
When he entered, Rosa rose from her chair by the window, where she had been flicking through some magazines. Surprisingly calm, she looked at him for a long moment, her face serene. All the way down the stairs he had been rehearsing in his mind what he would say to her and now he was with her he couldn’t remember a thing.
‘Good morning, William,’ she said, moving closer to him, trying to maintain a strong semblance of control while feeling somewhat weakened and vulnerable after what had happened between them. When she looked at the harsh, lean planes of his face, his jaw set and rigid, a vision of the tumble of dark hair against the white sheets, and the long, powerful limbs sprawled alongside her own invaded her mind. The growing ache in her heart attested to the degree of her feelings, of her love. To her at that moment, never had he looked so handsome—so unattainable. ‘How are you feeling this morning? Better, I hope, now the effects of the drug have worn off.’
‘All things considered, I am remarkably well,’ he assured her drily, fixing her with a level stare, ‘for a man who has made love to a woman and is unable to recall little of the incident. Do you mind telling me what happened last night?’
‘Don’t you remember?’
‘Some of it and I have to tell you that it does nothing for my male ego, my self-esteem or my pride. Only the remembrance that the woman I made love to was passionate, warm and responsive acts as a balm of sorts. You are right, I was drugged, that I do know. Why did you not take me to Grosvenor Square?’
‘I brought you here because you told me you didn’t want anyone to see you in that state. You were most adamant. Besides, you were on the verge of total collapse. This house was much closer than Grosvenor Square and I thought while you were able to walk at least I could get you into the house and put you to bed. Archie fetched Aunt Clara’s doctor to take a look at you. He was certain you had been administered a narcotic of some kind and that you would sleep it off.’
‘I see. You have gone to a lot of trouble. I am grateful.’ Remembering that this was what had happened he looked at her in appalled silence as a vague memory of this woman, naked and warm with desire lying in his arms, took shape in his memory. ‘When I awoke this morning to a small degree I was still under the influence of the narcotic. I was in a somewhat nebulous state. My memory of the night was unclear, with disjointed, faceless shadows flitting about in my mind. I was certainly not myself so tell me exactly what happened.’ When she didn’t reply his voice was quiet and controlled when he spoke. ‘You did stay with me, didn’t you?’
Inhaling deeply and raising her chin a notch, she nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘Did you have control over what so obviously happened between us?’
‘Some.’ A little smile played on her lips. ‘You can be very persuasive.’
‘Did I hurt you?’
Rosa considered his question. Her body ached and still throbbed with a strange kind of tenderness. But she had wanted him to make love to her and he had been as eager as she had been—even if he couldn’t remember any of it. ‘You didn’t hurt me.’
‘There was a trace of blood on the sheets. You were a virgin.’
Rosa winced at the fierce tone of his voice. ‘Yes. Does it matter?’
A muscle flexed in his jaw. ‘It does—to me. It should also matter to you.’
‘Please don’t feel any sense of guilt.’
‘How do you expect me to feel? I have wronged you—dishonoured you.’
‘I don’t feel in the least wronged or dishonoured. If that is how you feel, then that is unfortunate and for you to deal with. You needn’t worry. I have no intention of demanding that you do the honourable thing.’
‘Do you bear malice towards me—for what I did before? Is that why you remained with me last night.’
‘Malice?’
Briefly Rosa closed her eyes. It was painful to recount his rejection of her, especially when she had become so accustomed to burying her thoughts—or trying, for no matter how hard she had tried she had not succeeded. Secretly she had missed him more than she would have believed possible, for how could she ever forget how volatile and rakishly good-looking this man was. She recalled the pain she had felt when told the wedding would not take place, the hurt and humiliation of it. Never again would she allow herself to be so treated. Besides, how could she be certain of anything with Lady Willoughby hovering in the wings?
Reaching deep inside herself, she pushed thoughts of his rejection away. Thinking like this served no purpose. ‘I don’t bear malice. I can understand why you did what you did and as far as I am concerned it is over.’
‘And you are sure about that, are you? Don’t you think that what happened between us last night has changed matters somewhat?’
‘What are you saying—that you have had a change of heart and will marry me now?’
‘The way I see it we have no choice.’
‘I disagree. I do have a choice and I see no reason for us to marry.’
‘And if there is a child from our union? What then?’
Dear Lord! Rosa had not thought of that. Her hand immediately went to her abdomen and something stirred inside her—a wistful hope and fear. ‘I will not have my destiny or that of my child—if there is one—dictated by circumstance.’ As she made a move to turn away, he reached out and placed a hand on her arm. Looking down at his hand, she shook her arm free. ‘Please don’t touch me.’
William dropped his hand as if he had been burned.
‘I think you should leave now, William.�
�
She crossed the room and opened the door, only to find it slammed shut when William came up behind her with the sure-footed skill of a panther. She stood there, anchored between his strong arms. Unable to turn, she could feel his closeness, the muscular hardness of him, the vibrant heat of his body pressed close against her back and his warm breath on her hair. She didn’t move as he shoved her hair aside and ran a finger down the back of her neck, trailing it round to her chin and along the smooth curve of her jaw. It was a smoothing caress that awoke tingling answers in places she tried to ignore.
The betrayal of her body aroused vexation in her. His touch burned her flesh and seared into her heart, reminding her how deeply she had come to love this insufferable man. It was a hard fact for her pride to accept, especially after he had rejected her so coldly. She trembled as she felt his mouth on the soft warm flesh on the back of her neck. Her heart was pounding and for a moment she was tempted to turn and let him capture her lips with his own, but she must not. She must be strong.
‘Please don’t do this,’ she said tightly, trying to control the beat of her heart, which was thundering in her ears.
‘Why? The damage is done, Rosa. What are you afraid of?’
You, her mind screamed. You, and what I might let you do to me.
William had come to London to try to win her back and he was not prepared to let her go so easily—especially not after what had happened between them last night. With desire crashing through him in waves, he looked down at her bent head, his lips brushing her shining hair. Slipping an arm about her waist, he drew her tight against him, feeling a shimmering tremor in her slender body.
‘This is a mistake. Take your hands off me and don’t ever touch me again.’
‘Don’t fight me, Rosa. You are emotional.’
‘I am not emotional. I am angry, while you are the most ill-mannered, arrogant, inconsiderate man I have ever encountered,’ she upbraided him coldly, ‘and I thank my lucky stars that I did not become your wife. Now please do as I ask and let me go.’ Without waiting for him to do so, she violently thrust his hand away.
William’s eyes narrowed and his lips tightened. Reluctantly he stepped back. ‘I dare say I am all you accuse me of being. It goes with the title.’
Rosa was in no mood to be mocked and when she turned to face him she could see by the gleam in his eyes that he was doing exactly that. ‘Then with you as an example, I can only hope that Dhanu will soon be back in India. When you left me in Berkshire I fervently hoped and prayed I would never have the misfortune to set eyes on you again. Unfortunately that did not happen. Despite what has happened between us, nothing has changed. Such an outward display of temperamental frustration I regard as a sign of ill breeding...’
‘I think I have the picture,’ William drawled.
‘Good. Then I needn’t go on—but how I wish I’d never come to England and met you.’
William’s eyes, which had been soft and full of passion a moment before, now held a feral gleam. ‘Really! How easily those words trip off your tongue and how ready you are to insult me. Perhaps I am an uncivilised being marked by the life I have led in India—but how would you know what such a being is like, raised as you have been in the privileged, cocooned world of genteel drawing rooms you have inhabited all your life. Trained as a soldier, I do all manner of things you would call ungentlemanly and ill bred, things you disapprove of. And you are the most infuriatingly outspoken woman I have ever met. How dare you say these things to me—things you know nothing about?’
Rosa’s eyes sparked with anger as she faced him. ‘I did not realise when I brought you here last night instead of taking you to Grosvenor Square that you would be unable to control your inner cravings and seduce me after casting me off so brutally.’
‘For which I apologise—although it would appear that in no way did you object to being seduced. You could have walked away, but you chose not to. Where Dhanu is concerned, I thank you for everything you have done for him. He became very attached to you in Berkshire and has missed you not being there. In future I shall make sure he is kept safe, so you need not concern yourself.’
‘Not concern myself?’ Her face became suffused with fury. ‘How can you say that to me? Of course it concerns me. Had I not been present on the two previous occasions—the first when he almost fell foul of those two assassins—he would be dead now.’
William looked at the proud beauty who was glaring at him like an enraged angel of retribution and realised that she was on the brink of tears. His conscience smote him. ‘I know he would,’ he said softly.
Desperate to get away from him before she broke down and made a complete fool of herself, without another word she turned and opened the door, waiting for him to pass through.
In deep reflection William stood perfectly still, unable to believe the tempestuous, brave young woman who had stood up to him so proudly. Her stormy eyes were shining with unshed tears. He felt a consuming, unquenchable need to see her again soon when her ire had died down, to put things right between them. His attraction to her was disquieting. He was unable to put her from his mind. The sweet fragrance of her perfume lingered everywhere, drifting through his senses, and the throbbing hunger began anew.
He walked slowly to the door, where he turned and looked back at her.
‘Would it make things easier for you if I were to tell you that I am in love with you?’
She was thrown completely off guard and everything in Rosa’s world halted. Her shock and surprise were genuine. Dumbstruck, she stared at him. The declaration hung in the air between them as the blood pounded in her ears with all the force of a summer storm.
‘Oh!’ was all she could think of to say. He couldn’t possibly mean it. Could he? ‘Are you really?’
‘Absolutely,’ he assured her, in such a matter-of-fact voice that she could be forgiven for doubting it.
‘I—I am shocked. I—don’t know what to say.’
‘You don’t?’ He laughed softly. ‘You surprise me. I’ve never known you to be lost for words.’
‘But when—How?’ She gave him a sceptical look. ‘You—you are not joking?’
‘No, Rosa, I am not joking. I do love you—quite desperately, in fact. When I thought I’d lost you it was a terrible feeling. I love you. I love you with my whole life.’
She looked at him hard, trying to read what was in his eyes. His words and his expression filled her with such confusion that she was forced to look away.
With a little smile playing on his lips, he turned from her and strode across the hall.
‘Where are you going?’ she asked, taking a hesitant step forward.
‘Home.’
‘Home? But—you can’t say something like that and then just leave.’
‘I can and I will. Think about it, about what I said. I told you, you are as stubborn as a mule, so stop kicking. I know you feel the same as I do—I felt it when I held you in my arms, so don’t spend too much time on analysis and dissection. Follow your heart, Rosa, and not your head. I know my declaration has taken you by surprise and I am willing to wait for what I want from you—which has nothing to do with your wealth. I always get what I want in the end.’
* * *
To find herself tongue-tied had never been part of Rosa’s character. William’s unexpected declaration had changed everything. It had toppled her precarious assurance and with it all the judgements she had made of this man who said he loved her. With a small gasp she covered her mouth with the back of her hand and looked away, but not before she had caught the smile on his face and observed him raise an amused eyebrow at her confused image.
She stared at the closed door for a long time after he had gone. Had he been serious? What on earth made him think that he loved her? Such a declaration she had never imagined she would hear from him and she was unsure how to respond. Nothing had prepared her for
this and she was as afraid of her own feelings as much as his. With him there would be no reserve on her part, no subterfuge for the sake of self-preservation.
What was she to do? Everything lacked reality. How should she deal with this? Her mind returned to the period between his kiss at Ashurst Park and him coming to tell her that he would not marry her. How happy she had been then, having discovered feelings for him and could live in the hope of her feelings being returned. Those days and all her hopes had fallen to ashes. Suspicion had taken place of hopes and dreams, suspicion that came in the form of Lady Caroline Willoughby.
But if he was in love with her, Rosa, she must have been completely mistaken about that?
* * *
Rosa’s aunt and uncle returned home shortly after midday. Mrs Loxley was quick to inform Rosa’s aunt about Lord Ashurst’s visit and was surprised when her employer appeared to be extremely pleased by his night-time visit instead of being shocked. Clara immediately sought out her niece, who seemed somewhat preoccupied. She carefully considered the strained smile Rosa had pasted on her delicately structured face. As much as she made the pretence, her niece couldn’t hide the effect that Lord Ashurst’s visit had had on her.
‘Tell me what happened last night, Rosa. Under what circumstances did you feel compelled to invite him to stay here?’
Rosa was still reeling from William’s incredible confession, trying to analyse it, afraid to hope and unable not to. Drawing a long breath, she began telling her aunt some of what had transpired—about Dhanu and the two men, how one had escaped and the other was arrested, and how Lord Ashurst had come to be drugged—but she did not tell her what had transpired between them after that.
A Vow for an Heiress Page 20