by Jus Accardo
“Yeah.” He folded his arms and fixed me with a familiar glare. It was straight out of Dad’s best intimidation expressions. “I know you. I am you. You and I? Cade’s right. We’re alike.” He flashed me a wicked grin. “The universe’s way of making sure my awesomeness was alive and kicking in this world, no doubt.”
“Wow,” I said, trying hard to hold back a smile. I was starting to think I might miss this back and forth once he was gone. “I’m standing at death’s door and you still manage to find a way to make it about you. Kudos.”
He stepped back and gave a sweeping bow. When he straightened, his grin was gone, replaced by that trademark scowl I’d grown eerily accustomed to. “Seriously, Kori. If this goes badly, then at least you tried. You didn’t just lie down and wait to die. It ain’t over until it’s over.”
“And I take it it ain’t over yet?”
He held out his hand. “Not by a long shot.”
Did I think we stood a chance? Not really. The odds were stacked high against us, and we had no ammo to work with. Sure, I had a key, but would I use it to unlock my cuff while my dad was still wearing one? There was no chance in hell. I imagined if Mom were here, she’d say something inspiring. Something colorful and grand in that charmingly long-winded way of hers. Dad, on the other hand, would simply look me in the eye and tell me to soldier up. Suck back the poison and push through it.
So, that’s what I did. I took Noah’s hand and we stepped into the night to finish what Dylan had started.
Chapter Twenty-Three
No one spoke as we made our way back to Wells again. I didn’t see a way around this. We had about four more hours. That wasn’t enough time—not that I knew how much would be enough. Dylan was smart. He was motivated by rage and had nothing left to lose. People like that were the most dangerous kind.
Maybe this whole thing had been doomed from the start. Maybe I was destined to end up like all the others. Dead to pay for Cade’s mistake.
Dead to pay for your own…
I’d never been a pessimistic person, but I knew when I was out of options.
“What now?” It wasn’t Cade who finally broke the silence in the car. It was Noah. “Because I know we’re not just going to give up.” He twisted in the passenger’s seat and glared into the back. “There’s no one in this car who swings that way.”
“I don’t know,” was Cade’s response. That was it. Just three simple, sharp words.
I glanced over at the console and noticed for the first time that he was speeding. With everything going on, with my life hanging in the balance, for some reason that scared me most of all. It was stupid. Such a small thing. But that single slip screamed volumes. His control, while slightly irritating, had been something of a comfort. Like, no matter how insane things got, there would always be that constant.
I hadn’t realized it until that very moment, but I’d come to rely on it in my day-to-day life. Dad was always the picture of restraint. No matter what was going on around him, he kept his shit together. And while I was sure I hated him for it, for burying his emotions and letting that outer shell do all the talking, deep down I envied it. It was something I knew I’d never have. Mom always said I wore my emotions like a neon sign. If Cade was on the verge of breaking, then the world was coming apart at the seams—and I couldn’t have that.
“Think,” I forced myself to say. “There has to be another way. Something else we can do. Another tactic we can try.”
“Short of giving Dylan what he wants and hoping he holds up his end, I’ve got nothing.” Cade wrapped his fingers around the wheel until his knuckles turned white. “We’ve got nothing.”
Noah twisted in the seat again. His gaze traveled up, then down, then up again. With a huff, he faced forward. “Then I say we give him what he wants.”
Cade snorted. The car accelerated just a bit faster.
Obviously I was missing something. “What he wants is Ava. We don’t have her. We can’t get her. Do you know a suitable substitute?”
“Yes,” Noah said. He turned the rearview mirror in my direction, grinning. “You.”
“Me? How exactly would that work? Pretty sure the only thing he wants from me is my inability to breathe.”
The car slowed a little, and Cade’s grip on the wheel loosened, and the car slowed just a bit. “You’re suggesting a stand-in?”
“Exactly!” Noah clamped his hands then hitched a thumb over his shoulder in my direction. “Look at her. She’s the right height. Right weight. Even the same build. With darker hair… Can’t believe we missed it.”
“He might not be able to tell the difference if she’s far enough away,” Cade finished for him. “It’ll be dark. It might work.”
“No way.” I didn’t know Ava. Had never met her. But I’d seen the picture Dylan waved in my face back in the alley. We looked nothing alike. She had a dainty, heart-shaped face and deep-set eyes. “It’ll never work.”
“It’s our only hope, Kori,” Cade said. There was determination in his voice. “We can make this work.”
“She’d have to have her back facing him, of course,” Noah said. “And she wouldn’t be able to speak.”
“Okay.” If there was a chance to pull this off, we needed to be sure about all the angles. Before they ran with it, we needed to get some of the details straight. “Say you could pass me off as Ava. Then what? I dye my hair, sit with my back to him…and? Do you think he’s going to just hand over my dad, and the other key, just because he sees me from across the way?”
Cade readjusted the rearview mirror and glanced into it, frowning. “Obviously there are kinks to iron out.”
That was an understatement. Still, it was our last chance.
I nodded. “Okay. So what do we do first?”
...
We drove another twenty minutes and found a cheap motel. Cade didn’t want to go all the way back to Wells, because he thought it would look suspicious. We figured I could dye my hair quickly, then let it dry during the remaining drive. We settled in a town called Pleasant Hill. Noah had volunteered to run for hair dye and food. I didn’t question where he’d gotten the money. Cade said I didn’t want to know—and I believed him.
I was betting he wanted to give Cade a chance to say good-bye. Just in case. That, or he was just as skeeved out about this place as I was. It was the kind of establishment that rented rooms by the hour, and judging by the lecherous gleam in the front desk clerk’s eye when he saw us, it was hard not to cringe.
Noah had been gone less than fifteen minutes now, and Cade busied himself by pulling off his boots and attempting to shine them with one of the pillowcases from his bed. It was ridiculous considering they were worn and tattered, but something about the sight of him sitting there, trying to buff away the scuffs and mud, reminded me of home.
Every once in a while he’d look up then quickly look away when our eyes met. It was obvious that he wanted to say something. It was also obvious that he wasn’t going to say it without a good, hard push.
I sighed and tucked my legs up under me, scooting farther onto my bed. “What?”
He looked up from his boots. “Hmm?”
“You have something to say. I can tell. Out with it.”
He set the boot down and laid the pillowcase over the top of his pillow. Smoothing out the edges, he sighed.
I kicked my feet out from under me and slid to the edge of the bed. There was something so compelling in his eyes. So vulnerable and needy. On the outside, Cade Granger was the perfect soldier. Obedient and loyal. Methodical and thorough. But in that moment I realized he was missing something. There was a hardness in Dad’s eyes that I didn’t see in Cade’s.
That I didn’t want to see.
“Tell me.” It came out as a whisper. A desperate plea for something more. I didn’t know what, and I didn’t care. Right then I just wanted to feel a connection. Something real to keep me rooted.
Without saying a word, he slid to the edge, then off, taking a knee i
n front of me. It brought us eye to eye. “There’s so much I wanted to say to her.”
My chest constricted, the air moving in and out of my lungs burning like fire. “Then go ahead. Say it to me. Pretend…”
His expression pained, he shook his head slowly. “Then what about the things I want to say to you?”
I swallowed. “Me?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he brought his hand up and ran the tips of his fingers across my cheek. The sensation was electric. A million tiny sparks roared to life beneath my skin. I leaned in to his touch as that little voice inside my head chided me for taking comfort in something that was meant for someone else.
“I want to kiss you.”
“You want to kiss her,” I corrected, my voice barely a whisper.
He looked like I’d slapped him, and that killed me. I didn’t know why this boy had gotten under my skin. His sadness weighed on my shoulders and hurt my heart as though it was my own.
“Maybe you’re right.” He let his hand slide down the back of my neck, warm fingers resting against the skin. Confusion swirled in his eyes. “I don’t know.”
“If you could say something—tell her anything—what would it be?”
His head dropped, and for a moment he was silent. When his gaze rose to meet mine again, there was acceptance there. A sense of finality. “I knew it wasn’t right. I think that’s why I got so angry with you back at Rabbit’s place. Deep down, I knew we weren’t perfect. But I loved her. I loved before I even knew what that meant. She was goodhearted and pure. So forgiving—everything that I’d never had in my own life. That’s what drew me to her, I think. She had a light—”
He faltered, and I grabbed his other hand. “Keep going.”
“She was brightness and life.” He sucked in a breath. “So much life… My parents never showed me love. Dylan and I were on our own at a young age. Emotionally and physically. We had a roof over our heads, food and clothing, but were left to raise ourselves. Noah and Kori came along, and that all changed. They welcomed us into their home. Eventually, their family. She welcomed us… I never got a chance to thank her. To really explain what that meant for me.”
“I’m sure she knew.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Probably. She was sharp. Saw things long before I did.”
“And I’m sure she loved you.” The words were thick in my throat. “It might not have been the same kind of love you felt, but hearing you guys talk about her, she doesn’t strike me as the kind of girl who fakes it, ya know?”
Again, he nodded. “It was her,” he said, so low. So pained. “From the very beginning, it was always her. There’d never been anyone else. I’d never—”
“It’s okay, Cade.”
“It’s not,” he insisted. “I claim to have loved her—to still love her—yet I can’t deny the subtle truths that have surfaced over the last few days.”
“Truths?”
“I feel something for you.” He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. When he opened them, there was a spark of pure fire. “I don’t know what it is but I can’t ignore the fact that it’s there. That it’s real and it’s new.”
The guilt he’d placed on himself over her death—repeatedly—was enormous. It was bound to cause confusion. I could say with certainty on my end that there was something there. A spark I would have loved to explore. But I wasn’t confident that he saw things clearly. That he saw me clearly. “I’m sure it feels that way, but—”
He stood. “And there it is.” There was a twinge of anger in his tone. He grabbed my hands and pulled me off the bed. “Always questioning me. Always challenging. I need to know. I need to know for sure.”
Before I could react, Cade wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. His lips covered mine. Fierce and desperate, they moved with a need I felt in every inch of my body. I couldn’t help myself. I responded, equally desperate.
I’d been frozen. Trapped in ice and buried beneath a thousand layers of my own pain. In that moment Cade was the blowtorch. A flame that had burned its way into my life and melted the shell away to expose my raw insides to the world. A part of me resisted. That little voice of reason inside my head fought against awakening. It fought against the fact that I was beginning to understand that life without connections was pointless. Being alive without living—without loving—wasn’t really being alive at all.
I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him like he was the only thing keeping my heart from stopping. If the plan failed, then this would be my only chance to feel like this. One-sided or not, I felt connected to Cade. I wasn’t ready for it to end.
A soft moan escaped his lips. The sound stoked the fire already burning in my belly and drove me to be bolder. Mimicking what he’d done at the other hotel, I braced my hands against his chest and pushed him back. He stumbled, taken off guard, and fell back onto the bed. Before I could blink, I was being dragged right along with him.
Lips, hands, and limbs. There were no discernable lines. I couldn’t tell where I ended and Cade began. I wasn’t some starry-eyed girl. We weren’t in love. This wasn’t going to be a fairy tale ending. But maybe it could have been. Under different circumstances, maybe we could have fallen in love. The basics were there. I felt it. There was fire and interest. Challenge and so much room for both of us to grow. I wanted someone who could make me feel again. That one person who could—and would—break through my walls. I needed a person I could be myself with— pushy and sometimes a little controlling—someone who could handle my ups and downs and stubborn nature. He was looking for someone to help him stay on the straight and narrow. Be the man he wanted to be. Someone who could make him smile again… I knew deep in my heart I could have been that for him. Would have wanted to.
Just not in this world…
It was me who finally pulled away. Again. I felt bad. This was the third time I’d done this to him. You’d think I would know better. I sat up and scooched a few feet away, to the other end of the bed.
Cade propped himself up on his elbows. His expression was serious. “And now I know.”
I didn’t ask. Really, it didn’t matter. If by some miracle the plan worked, then he was leaving. I wasn’t going with him. He wasn’t going to stay behind. There was no future in this. Whatever it was he thought he knew was irrelevant.
“I can see it in your eyes, you know.” He watched me but didn’t come any closer. “You try to hide it, but it’s there.”
The defense alarm rang, and my walls went up. “Oh yeah?”
“You feel something for me.”
I forced a laugh. “I’d have to be dead not to have felt something. Not to inflate your ego, but you’re one hell of a kisser, Cade.”
He shook his head. “No. It’s more than that.” He pushed himself up to a sitting position. “It’s more than that, and that scares you to death.”
“Second base and you think you know me inside out?” I folded my arms. “Sorry. It was a nice…kiss…”
Liar, liar, pants on fire! That was so much better than nice. And it was way more than a kiss…
But the spark in his eyes told me he wasn’t going to let this go. He believed my bullshit about as much as I did. “Fine. Not that it matters, but yes. I like you! More than I should, considering the badly timed circumstances. I like you and I know that we could be something, Cade. If you’d been born here, if we’d had a real shot, we would have been amazing, I think. But if we get the cuff off and I survive this, then you and Noah will leave. You’ll have to follow Dylan across dimensions and leave me here alone. Alone and knowing that I should have had an obnoxious, smart-ass brother. Knowing that somewhere out there, other Koris have a brilliant mother. Knowing that they have a you. Is that what you wanted to hear?” I saw in his eyes. I’d struck a nerve. He felt the injustice of it all, too. The unfairness over the fact that somewhere out there, hundreds of Cades had their Koris, but he had lost his, and I had never gotten mine.
He opened his mouth to argue
—I could tell—but a soft beep from the door told us Noah had returned. He juggled several bags and closed the door behind him. When his gaze fell to us, sitting as far apart as possible on Cade’s now rumpled bed, he frowned. “Am I, uh, interrupting something?”
I swung my legs over the edge and stalked toward him, refusing to look Cade in the eye. I grabbed the plastic bag with the dye and headed for the bathroom. “Depends on who you ask,” I said over my shoulder, then slammed the door, furious at Cade for dredging up all the emotions I had worked so hard to suppress.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I wiped a smear of steam from the mirror with the palm of my hand. It immediately fogged back up. A second swipe, this time with a thin hotel towel, did the trick. There was a strange girl looking back at me. Her hair was black as night, and there was a profound sadness in her eyes.
I didn’t have the faith Cade had in this plan. It was going on ten p.m., and Dylan’s deadline was now just two hours away. The boys would bring Ava and Dylan would bring Dad and, hopefully, the last key. An exchange would be made, and everyone would be on their merry little way.
But the plan hinged on far too many variables. The disguise would fool Dylan only until he saw my face. And lot could go wrong before that even happened. Still, I was determined to make a go of it. I zipped up the dark blue hoodie Noah bought and slipped my feet into a new pair of black boots. When I was finished I stepped in front of the full-length mirror to inspect the finished product. Noah had purchased my entire outfit—minus the underwear.
Oh my God… How embarrassing would that have been?
My new clothes were all dark, lifeless colors—blacks and navy blues with the hoodie rimmed in dark gray. Apparently Ava liked her darkness, which in my opinion explained a lot about her attraction to Dylan and spoke volumes about her personality. I, on the other hand, loved color. Then again, most artists did. Give me vivid and thriving over graveyards and darkness, and I could live happily. I hated the thought that I might die like this. Take my last breath on this Earth swathed in colors that sadly represented my life. Lonely and uninspired.