by Rebecca York
“I don’t understand.”
“Hollie made him agree to let her walk the puppy if we were able to meet in the park on weekend mornings.” Belinda didn’t hide her frustration fast enough. Wily Maeve had eyes like a hawk.
“And that’s a problem, why?”
“Because I hate the Carltons—plain and simple. It’s because of them that I had to change my life, give up my dreams of being a nurse and ended up as a single mom.”
“My goodness, Lindy, what in the world did they do for you to feel such resentment?”
The nickname made Belinda hesitate. Maeve was the only person who called her that from time to time and, whenever she did, memories tried to break through which left Belinda feeling a strange yearning.
Shaking off her reaction, the overwhelming urge to tell her story took hold. Seeing Maeve waiting, and trusting her more than anyone else she knew, she finally decided her painful experience needed to be shared.
Plunging in before she changed her mind, she began. “When I was young and foolish, visiting my folks for the May weekend from college, I’d gone along with a group of friends to a party at the Carlton home. Normally, I didn’t hang around with this group; they were wilder and way more unconventional than I was. But one of the girls who I’d grown up with asked me to come with her. She’d invited me to go with her so many times that I felt bad for all the refusals.
When we arrived at this big house, there was a party in the wild stage; booze everywhere and couples were being far more than romantic—if you know what I mean. Not used to this kind of behavior, I’d all but decided to leave when one of the cool girls I’d known in high school gave me a glass of beer and welcomed me so nicely that I decided I was being a prude. Then someone asked me to dance and, without a thought in the world, I left my drink on the table and didn’t return to it for some time. When I did, I was so thirsty that I drank it and that’s the last thing I remember. The next day, I felt achy and sore and had a hangover. Mainly, I was scared because I couldn’t recall any events from the night before. My girlfriend told me I’d had a fabulous time, had flirted with all the guys and had even disappeared with someone. She thought it might have been one of the Carlton boys, but she wasn’t sure.”
“Oh, oh!”
“Yes! As you can imagine, I was very embarrassed. Then three months later, I was totally devastated.”
“And Hollie was born Christmas Day.”
“As you know she was premature.”
“Goodness me, Lindy, I’m saddened by your story, but aren’t you being rather harsh on this fellow who rescued Hollie today? After all, he could be her father.”
Oh, my God…
Chapter Ten
Belinda held out the first weekend after the incident, refusing to go to the park. Instead, she took Hollie to her parents’ home one afternoon for her mother’s birthday party, and she arranged a movie the next day to take the pouting child’s mind off where she yearned to be. But she just didn’t have the stamina to withstand the barrage of ‘pleases’ that her determined little monster fired at her for the rest of the week. All she could do was pray that Reed Carlton didn’t show up.
Dressed warmly, Belinda followed her excited daughter along the walkways toward the lake and breathed a little easier when she didn’t see any fluffy, small white animals nearby.
Dancing along, excitement coloring her cheeks pink, Hollie wore a new green hat and matching sweater Belinda had knitted for her to help pass the long lonely evenings watching romantic sitcoms on television.
All the snow was finally gone from the freak snowstorm they’d had the day after Hollie had fallen into the lake. The cold spell had given over again to warm weather, but the smells of winter close by made the day extra beautiful.
“Stop running to and fro, Hollie, you’re making my neck sore trying to keep track of you. Let’s give Mommy’s tired legs a break, and sit here on the bench and I’ll tell you a story.”
Grudgingly, Hollie came and plopped down beside her mother and sulked. “Mr. Reed said he’d bring Cloud. He promised.”
“No, baby, he didn’t do any such thing. It was a casual ‘maybe’ and you know it.”
“But he winked at me, Mommy, and that means a promise.”
“Where in the world did you get such a goofy idea?”
Oh, no!
Bouncing with delight, Hollie took off at a mad dash to meet up with the yipping puppy who was in a panic to get to her. Their meeting in the grass brought tears to Belinda’s eyes. Both canine and child were so delighted to be together again that the kisses and licks were all mixed together in a hugging frenzy of love.
Reed, holding an empty leash, approached and stood near the bench. “May I?” He gestured at the seat.
Rather than sit near him, she stood instead. “I was just going to walk. I-I need the exercise.” Liar!
“You weren’t here last weekend. I came both days.”
“Are you accusing me of being a bad mother?”
He swung to face her. “What? Why in the hell would you think that? I just wanted Hollie to know that I hadn’t broken my promise.”
“Oh, you two. It’s enough for me to try and control that little devil, and now I have you siding…”
“Hold it, Lindy. I wasn’t accusing you of anything, or trying to make you feel bad.”
“What did you call me?” Furious beyond reason, she spat out words at the same time as she glared her anger.
He backed up a step. “Isn’t your name Lindy?”
“My name is Belinda Page. No one calls me Lindy.”
Awkwardly, Reed put his hands behind him. “I’m sorry. We met once a long time ago and you introduced yourself then as Lindy. I recognized you, but you didn’t seem to remember me, so I never said anything.”
Oh, my God! It’s him! He must be Hollie’s father.
A sickening feeling of dread overcame her and she was forced to sit down again. Pain seared her temples, pressing relentlessly, pounding into her panic. Hugging herself to control vicious accusations from spewing, she bit her lip and hid her face.
“Lindy, here let me help you.” He gently forced her head toward her knees and rubbed her back.
His touch soothed but she didn’t want his hands on her. She couldn’t look at him. Oh, God!
“Take deep breaths. That’s good. Slowly.”
She shied away from him. Her mind raced, thoughts fighting over each other to be heard, to make sense. Though she followed the instructions from the soft-spoken male voice, she tried to conceal her reactions to his touch. I need to get away!
“Mommy, what’s wrong?” Both child and puppy had come running and were now fussing over Belinda. Hollie tried to hug her around her head and the pup whined pitifully. She heard the fear in her little girl’s voice and that was enough to give her the strength she needed to snap out of her pity-party. Feeling the puppy’s tongue on her cheek, giving her own brand of comfort, Belinda gave Cloud a cuddle and took the time to breathe deeply.
“I was a little dizzy, baby. But I’m fine now.” She caressed Hollie’s worry away from her face and held up the excited canine. “Cloud. You’ve grown.” Gathering the quivering mutt close, she let the animal shower her with affection.
Hollie, obviously satisfied her mom was fine, turned to the hovering man. “Mr. Reed. You came like you promised.”
“Of course! I think Cloud knew she would see you here. She pulled me so fast to the lake area; I had a heck of a time keeping up. I was worried the little monster would drag me along behind her if I fell.”
Seeing her laugh at the mind-picture of the little puppy pulling along the big man, Hollie’s giggles had him chuckling also.
Belinda, fearful of the child racing off again with her furry friend, rose carefully, steadying herself by holding onto the back of the seat and made a suggestion. “Let’s take Cloud for a little walk now, because it’ll soon be lunchtime and we’ll have to go home to eat.”
Hollie’s demeanor chan
ged instantly. Stiff with resentment, she appealed, “We can go on a long walk. I’m not hungry.”
Belinda watched Reed hide his smile and turn away.
“Yes, baby, but little puppies tire very easily. Their legs are short and not as strong as a big girl like you. We’ll go around the park and that should be enough for one day.” Though her voice started out in a gentle humorous tone, it had changed by the end of her sentence. It became firm and meant business, and Hollie knew not to argue.
Reed attached the leash to the puppy’s collar and handed it over to outstretched chubby hands. The two were off at a run.
“Hollie Page. You stay in my sight, you hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am.” A grin and nod were shared, and then all her attention became focused on her furry companion.
Chapter Eleven
“Hollie’s very good with the pup. And Cloud adores her.” Reed knew he needed to fill in the silence. It was obvious that Lindy was still suffering from her earlier predicament. He just wished he knew what he’d said wrong.
Lindy’s answer took time but she eventually replied, “It’s all I’ve heard about for the last week: Mr. Reed this, and Cloud that. She was furious at me for not bringing her last weekend.”
“Truthfully, I expected to see you. Even Cloud seemed disappointed when there was no sign of Hollie. She whined when I took her away and pulled so hard at the leash that I had to pick her up.”
No way would Reed tell her how he’d dressed in a new outfit, groomed the pup for an hour and had even bought a chocolate-covered candy apple as a special treat for Hollie. Disappointment had ridden him for days and was most likely felt by anyone who had the misfortune of working in his surgeries.
He’d told himself he wouldn’t come today. He’d work. But when the time came he’d booked the morning off, and here he was trying to understand why the woman he’d been so attracted to seemed to hate the very sight of him.
Since she didn’t answer, he added, “I wasn’t accusing you. Please don’t think that—”
“No, don’t apologize. It’s me. I’m behaving badly.”
She faced him, her cheeks still pale. Melted chocolate, her brown eyes highlighted by curled dark eyelashes didn’t quite hide her raging emotions. Pink lips quivering slightly, lush and full, drew his attention. She’d changed in the last few years, filled out—seemed more mature and even more beautiful. “I have to ask you something. Did we meet at a party at your house five years ago?”
Reed studied her pallor and quickly put his hands behind him, stuffed them in his back pockets, a habit he had for self-protection. He stared at his shoes and took a minute to decide his answer.
Unsurprisingly, his mind raced into the past and he was reminded about an incident as a carefree young teen. When he’d impulsively reached out to a distressed girl, he’d gotten his face slapped and his heart broken. The girl he’d believed returned his affection hadn’t had the finesse to deal with a boy’s sensitive nature. Head over heels in love, he’d trusted that she’d cared about him in the same way. Not so. He’d learned a huge lesson that day: don’t ever open yourself to a female. More than likely, you’ll live to regret it. Keep your walls up and stay behind them.
She waited, staring, not moving. He sensed her anxiety and it made him ultra-nervous. For pity’s sake, just tell the truth.
“Yes, we did. Look, I tried to find you again but you’d disappeared.” Watching the varied emotions she couldn’t hide, he stopped talking and waited. Didn’t she remember the incredible night they’d spent together? She’d flirted with him, come on to him but with a naiveté and sweetness that had hooked him big time.
Not one to party, that night he’d been celebrating the end of his finals and had gone a bit crazy. When she’d shown up, acting the sexy siren, she’d just been too damn perfect to ignore.
And he hadn’t regretted that decision. At first, when he’d realized she’d never been with a man, he’d tried to stop but she hadn’t let him. He’d never been with a virgin before, but she’d been sweet and giving, leaving him with the feeling that he’d been special.
After they’d satisfied their hunger for each other, he’d gone to get them some wine and a platter of goodies. When he’d returned to his room, she’d disappeared. He’d searched frantically, asked everyone if they knew her but many had left and those still around had no idea who he was talking about. In the end, all he’d had from their encounter was the beautiful memory and her first name.
“What do you mean I disappeared? How did I do that?”
Feeling like he was walking through a live minefield, Reed hesitated. Then he decided to speak truthfully. “Lindy—it’s what you asked me to call you—we hit it off that night. Both of us were infatuated—”
“Mommy, you were right! Cloud is tired. She’s whining for me to carry her. I guess we better rest for a while.”
Reed couldn’t decide if he welcomed the interruption or not. Lindy’s eyes were huge, watching his face closely. It appeared as if she wasn’t breathing, so enthralled was she with his words.
The sigh she let escape ended in a tiny imperceptible cry that shot straight to the muscles in his throat and made swallowing impossible. He watched her struggle to shake off the spell, but not before he recognized the frustration she couldn’t hide. With her hands gripping each other to still their trembling, she finally answered. “Yes, okay, sweetheart. Maybe it’s time that Mr. Reed, I mean, Mr….”
“Please, just call me Reed.”
She searched his eyes and then nodded. “…time for Reed to take Cloud home for her nap.”
No! Clamouring in his head, the instinctive word made one thing very clear to him. He didn’t want this meeting to end. “Look, we haven’t had much time to be together. So, can I take you ladies for lunch? There’s a restaurant just at the entrance to the park called Di’s where the owner is crazy about Cloud and allows me to put her under the table while I eat. We can go there if you like?”
Watching the by-play between mother and daughter, he had no idea how she withstood her baby’s arguments, enhanced by pleading eyes and trembling lips, for as long as she managed. He’d have been a goner after the first I-promise-to-be-a-good-girl-forever tearful plea.
Chapter Twelve
Sitting together in the booth at Di’s, Belinda wasn’t exactly sure how she got there. Certainly, Hollie had played a big part in making up her mind. Guilt had ridden her hard at how seldom she could afford to give her baby a meal in a restaurant. Plus, she knew how much it meant to the little girl to have more time with Cloud.
Once the waitress had fussed over the tired puppy and they’d settled her on the mat under the table, she’d taken their orders and left them to move on to the other customers. Hollie, sitting on the floor near Cloud, was happy in her own little world, and had left the two adults facing each other with just the well-washed table top between them.
Looking anywhere but at Reed, Belinda studied the cozy place and saw an atmosphere and faded furnishings that hadn’t been updated in decades. It reminded her of the diner she’d practically lived at with her high school friends. The good food smells that attacked the minute they’d walked in were making her mouth water and she realized just what a treat it was to be waited on and having her meal served to her.
“I’m glad you came.” His words seemed to surprise him, make him uncomfortable, as if they escaped his mouth before gaining his permission.
Speaking low, she shared, “Hollie doesn’t get to eat out very often. It’s a wonderful treat, so thank you for inviting us.” Belinda stopped talking before she made a fool of herself. As much as she yearned to go back to their earlier subject, fear and shyness stopped her questions.
“My pleasure. Really!” He put his long-fingered hands on the table and stared at them in a funny way before he looked at her, his eyes full of warmth. “After you left the park that day, it took some time to settle Cloud. She fretted terribly for hours. Strange as it may seem, I think those two bon
ded… ahh, I’m not making much sense but you had to be there to see the little monster grieve. Finally, that night, I had to bring her into bed with me and hold her close so I could get some sleep. And trust me, if anyone would have told me I’d be doing anything so asinine, I’d have laughed and told them to get real.”
Belinda saw his cheeks redden before he bent over to check under the table. It was as if his confession had escaped without him meaning to say anything. Sensing his discomfort and not being a person who liked to see others in distress, she quickly cut in, “I think that was sweet of you. Many would have shut her in a bathroom or the garage.”
He straightened. “Only one person has ever accused me of being sweet.” Their eyes met, and there was an emotion in his that had her breath catching and her heart beating so fast she swore the pulsing in her chest must be visible.
As if the words were forced, she admitted her own situation. “It was the same with Hollie, only she carried on for days. I have a strict rule that she must sleep in her own bed, but that night I had to share it with her, to soothe her. She refused to understand why we couldn’t keep her puppy.”
“You could have. You knew it wasn’t mine.”
“No. That’s just it; we don’t live that kind of a lifestyle. I work two jobs, and as much as I would have loved to have Cloud, I have no time left over to raise another baby.”
Lost in his searching gaze, warmth and gentleness making the green hues in his brown eyes darker and more intense, she didn’t notice when his hand enfolded her fingers to stop their unconscious fidgeting. It was the brush of something against her leg that dropped her back to earth with a thud. Hollie!
“We need to talk.” A frantic urgency had entered his low voice, and she felt pulled between mothering her child and losing herself in the chaotic emotional whirlpool he created with every glance.