by Mark Tufo
“Azile, even though I am your familiar, I cannot let you pass and there is no magic you possess that you could use to force your way through,” Sebastian said.
“You would kill me if I attempted?” Azile asked.
“It would pain me greatly, but I cannot let you go. I warned you to stay away from him; I knew his foolhardiness would eventually cause you great misfortune. Never has one so willing to act with so little thought beforehand existed.”
“Instinct,” I said in defense.
“Instinct is deeply ingrained in the nature of an animal. Part of the mechanism that enables the survival of the particular animal. Your instinct would seem to be in direct contrast to that principle.”
“It is funny because it is true,” Kalandar said.
“We’re leaving, Sebastian. All of us. We can fight if you wish, but I’m looking at who I’ve got here with me and I’m willing to take my chances,” I said.
“You are free to go,” he replied.
“Wait, just like that?” I answered. I could hear Azile’s palm slap against her forehead.
“You married him,” Eliza replied to the gesture.
Sebastian nodded at my question. I took a step, as did Eliza; the cats moved in closer.
“You said we could leave,” I said.
“I said you could leave,” Sebastian stressed.
Per usual, I hadn’t a clue as to what was going on. I needed answers and I needed them fast. Apparently, the gate was down and there was an army of dark creatures coming our way. I was tired and done fighting for the moment.
“Why Sebastian? Why can I go and the others cannot?”
“You are a Luvier; you can come and go as you please.” It was said in hushed tones, almost as in reverence.
I wasn’t exactly sure what that entailed, but I was quick enough to realize it meant I had some power of sorts; it was time to flex it.
“We are all leaving,” I said, expecting a fight. The guardians backed up.
“As you wish,” Sebastian replied.
I immediately looked at Eliza; did I want her to come? One word from me and they would stop her, I was certain of it. I owed her nothing. Well, that’s a lie. I owed her a lot, though it revolved around me inflicting pain upon her for what she’d taken from me.
“She stays. And if she gives you any trouble, feel free to kill her.” I pointed to Eliza. “Everyone else comes with me.”
She looked like she could spit venom, though she said nothing. I mean, what could she? At no point ever were we friends, and she had been a blight upon humanity for centuries. I would not be the one responsible for loosing her upon the world again. I stayed next to her as Azile, Linnick, and Kalandar moved past.
“You will rue this day,” she hissed.
“I already do,” I told her as I walked past Sebastian. Last thing I saw as we walked out of range was Eliza shrinking back toward the open gate as the guardians pressed. What I’d done was right; I felt the truth of that deep down in my bones. Still felt shitty, though.
After a while of putting distance between us and the gate, we found ourselves deep in the in-between world.
“Michael, it is time we left,” Azile said to me.
“What took so long?” I asked.
“There are other considerations.” She nodded over to Kalandar and subtly pointed down to a sleeping Linnick. “Our passage will be easy enough; it is our ids that need to be transported back to our bodies. In Kalandar’s case, he will need to have his physical presence passed through as well, and for that we will require Gabriel. Linnick, however, poses a greater difficulty. She has no shell which to enter.”
“We can’t leave her behind! She’s saved my life a few times over.”
“It’s beyond even my power, Michael,” Azile replied.
“Thankfully, not mine.” Kalandar had heard us talking. “I can create a vessel, something your kind might call a Gollum. For beings such as ourselves it is terribly constricting, stuffing our essence into a shell, but since she is a creature with an exoskeleton, I would imagine she would be quite comfortable. It will take some time to gather the right materials and to perform the ritual, but it could be done.”
“We need to get back, then, to get to Mathieu and Lana so that we will be able to bring Linnick and Kalandar forth–if that is what he wants.”
“Oh, very much. It has become dreadful here lately.”
“You will take care of her?” I asked him.
“No harm will befall her as long as I am alive.”
“Linnick.” I reached into Azile’s pocket and brought the tiny creature closer to my face.
She stretched and sighed as she turned, her eyes slowly opened up and she stiffened as she looked upon me. “Tallboat, you scared me! You are difficult to gaze upon, especially when one is newly awakened.”
“Is it just me? What does Big Red over there look like to you?”
“Like a god from olden times.”
“And my wife?”
“As if she were a beautifully rendered carving from marble.”
“And yet I am some grotesquery?”
“Coming to an acceptance of your condition is the first step in overcoming it.”
“I am not that ugly,” I told her.
“We are each given the ability to have our own opinions; it is good that you see yourself in a positive light.”
“We don’t have the time to debate my perceived attractiveness.”
“Good, because it really isn’t a debate.”
Azile stifled a laugh.
“Linnick, enough.” I explained to her what was happening and to Kalandar what needed to happen.
“I…I can have an opportunity once more to walk upon the earth?”
I did not think breatines capable of tears but if they were, she most certainly would have been producing them.
“Will you be all right here with Kalandar?” I asked, moving away so he could not hear.
“He is truthful in his skills and his intentions.”
“Is that a yes?”
“I will be fine, Tallboat. Never in my life or after-life have I ever had a friend such as you. I am gratified to have saved you from the dendrun holes.”
I had a slightly different take on that particular scene but I’d let her have that one. “I’ll be back for you, Linnick. Do you believe me?”
“That you believe it is enough for me. Go, Tallboat.”
I handed her over to Kalandar.
“I will see you soon,” Kalandar said to me. “Alright, little one, let’s make you a body.” And with that, he moved on.
“Um yeah…goodbye to you too!” I waved.
“You ready?” Azile grabbed my hand.
“More than I could ever hope to be,” I told her.
I awoke on the couch. I tried to sit up; didn’t go over so well. My body was stiff. Like, it didn’t feel stiff, but actually was stiff. I could not move. Panic began to well up inside me. And why was I alone? Where was my wife? I’d like to say that I didn’t have any misgivings about what was going on, but that’d be a lie. Like, maybe there was a chance she had put me in this compromising position so she could do away with me far from any witnesses.
My heart caught in my throat. In my peripheral vision, I saw a wooden-walking wife coming toward me with a wicked-looking ceremonial blade. I tried to mumble an apology for everything I had done in my life that might have offended her; didn’t stop her from raising the blade high above my head and bringing the knife down. She stopped an inch from my face then dragged the edge down the length of my body. I felt cool air caress my cheek and the stiffness that had effectively paralyzed me finally eased up as she pulled away the edges of the protective spell.
“Thank you.” I sat up.
The stinging slap across my face was wholly unexpected.
“Ouch, woman!”
The weird thing, the scary thing, really, was she said nothing after it. No railing on me for leaving her and the kids, nothing about sc
aring her half to death, no accusation that I’d risked everything for nothing and to top it off that I’d had the audacity to question her motives. It was very fragile ground I stood upon; I was afraid it would fall away at any moment.
“Where are the kids?” I asked as she just looked at me, and not in a tenderly way, but rather a where she thought she could punch me that would be the most effective place to induce pain way. It was not lost on me at all that she spent an inordinate amount of time looking low on my body. I took a step backward, just in case she acted on impulse.
She walked out of the room without saying a thing, which, considering what the woman could do with the spoken word, was for my best interest, for sure. As the storm within her grew, I decided to head outside, away from the low-pressure system gathering in the house.
“Oggie?” The dog was barreling down the pathway at me, stubby tail wagging, tongue lolling out of his mouth, thick ropes of drool hanging low and dragging up small bits from the ground. I came down off the porch; he launched and I caught him in my arms as I stumbled backward. His over-sized tongue was licking my face like an ice cream cone. A thick coating of saliva was running down my cheeks. Right now, I didn’t even care as I cradled and hugged the dog tightly.
“I swear, pup, I will never do that again. Sometimes my stupidity gets in the way of the man I should be, that I can become.”
“I’m glad you came to that realization yourself.” Azile was standing on the porch; I could not see her due to the charms she had lain on the house. She came down the steps and into view. “If he can still accept you for all your faults, I do not see any reason why I should not.” The previously hard set of her eyes had softened. “There will never be a next time, Michael. The children and I, we will not be awaiting your return. Promise me.” She did not come closer.
“I had no choice, Azile. I was as obligated to go as if it had been our children.”
“Promise me.”
“Azile…”
“How thick are you?”
“Umm…fairly,” I responded.
“When a woman demands a promise, you give it. No questions asked, no hesitation, you just do it. She knows well enough that the chances he will keep it are minimal; that is not the point. The point is that you realize your mistake and assure her that you will not intentionally make the same one again.”
“But…”
“Michael!” Her hands were on her hips. Oggie was squirming in my arms; he wanted me to let him down. I figured he didn’t want to be collateral damage if and when she struck again.
“Azile, I don’t like you being angry with me. It hurts deep down in…” I almost said my soul, forgetting just how recently that had been taken from me, “…inside of me. And it seems easy enough to offer you that promise but giving one that I cannot honor seems….”
“Prudent at this point?” she finished.
“And this hollow promise will somehow make it all better?”
“You are the thickest, most obstinate person I have ever met! It must be you that knows witchcraft, otherwise, how could I have possibly fallen so in love with you!?” She was yelling, her balled up hands by her sides.
“It’s probably because my penis is bigger than yours.” Yeah, I know, but I didn’t know what else to say.
Of course, that was when Lana and Mathieu decided to come into range. Azile’s face reddened, nearly becoming the same color as her hair before she let out a great gust of air. She started laughing just as Mathieu spoke.
“Well, I would hope so,” he said.
Lana smacked his arm. She was observant enough to realize we had been in the midst of a pretty serious argument.
“I love you, Michael. The way you make me laugh is certainly a part of the reason, and maybe the only reason I haven’t killed you myself–yet–but I also truly hate some of the things you do.”
“I understand that,” I told her as I made up the distance between us. I gave her an enormous hug and lifted her up off the ground. She threw her head back as I twirled her around. I eased her down and kissed her gently.
“You taste like dog,” she said as I placed her down.
“Better than being a dog.”
“You’re not out of the doghouse just yet.”
“It is good to see you!” Mathieu gave me a big hug. Lana stood on her tip toes and kissed my cheek.
“Are you well?” she asked. She was looking into my eyes; I looked away. I was certain she could see right through me, and what she was peering for was no longer there.
Gabriel was in the back of the cart; he was looking at me intently. “It’s a mess down there.”
“That it is,” I said to him.
“Your fault?” Mathieu asked.
“I contributed. But whatever is going on has been in motion for quite some time.” I went over to the cart to see my babies; they were sleeping, contented expressions on their faces. I gently picked each one of them up and cradled them in the crook of my elbow and gave them light kisses upon their foreheads.
“Tommy?” Mathieu asked as I passed him by.
“Come on in, we’ll catch up.” Azile grabbed Lana’s hand and directed her in. Mathieu helped Gabriel down; Oggie bounded up the stairs and in.
“Just going to put the horses up,” Mathieu said. I was lost looking at my kids, struck by a moment I did not think would ever happen again. Azile was right. How could I have been so stupid as to have left all this for a quest with so minimal a chance of succeeding?
Azile and Lana were talking, I was soaking-in having the babies in my arms, of course, Azile was multi-tasking, checking the babies, talking to Lana and getting her something to drink. I was on about my twelfth go around sticking my nose on the babies faces when I looked up, expecting to see Mathieu.
“Where’s the hairy one?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” Lana looked up, a quizzical expression on her face. “Probably taking a break from all the children.”
Azile saw my look. “Go talk to your friend.” She grabbed the babies and placed them on the couch.
When I stepped outside I got a weird sensation, like a static charge running along the perimeter of my skin and there was the smell of burnt ozone like we’d just had one hell of a lightning storm. All was not right in the world. I looked back to the house then headed to the barn in a hurry. The neighing of startled horses ushered me along. I fumbled for the door; the sight was the last thing I’d expected. Mathieu was in full-blown werewolf form. To his front were hundreds of cats, some nearly as large as the Guardians I thought we’d left behind.
“Mathieu?”
He roared as he looked back at me. There was fear in his eyes.
“Stop!” I said to the cats, who looked on the verge of pouncing as I came abreast of my friend. The sheer number of tails spasmodically jerking back and forth was enough to move the air with force.
Sebastian joined us; he had a broad swath of blood from a wound on his left side and a noticeable limp.
“The gates have fallen; we were routed.” The words injected directly into my head.
“What does that mean?” I asked aloud. Mathieu looked at me, not understanding who I was talking to.
“All denizens of the wastelands and the underworld have free reign to travel to the first realm.”
Mathieu looked around wildly; he must have heard it as well. When he realized that we weren’t under attack he half-turned back to human form so that he could speak. “Underworld? Wastelands?”
He was looking to me, but Sebastian answered. “The underworld is what you, in your limited comprehension, would consider the true Hell, the wastelands are where the undesirables that Hell does not wish to deal with are kept.”
“There are undesirables that Hell won’t take?” Mathieu asked.
“Sort of like the founding of Australia.” I meant to think it.
“Since the demon gate that separated those two worlds fell, we have been hyper-vigilant, aware that something similar might happen at the
gates we guarded.”
“Which is?” Mathieu asked.
“We are responsible for keeping what is in the wastelands from entering the first tier.”
“For what reason?” he continued.
“The first tier is the nearest of all realms between this world and that one. It is not extremely difficult for one with the correct knowledge or sufficient power to pierce that veil; however, now the gates are down…”
“Anything can cross over,” I finished.
“Azile must be warned,” Sebastian said.
“Did you manage to stop Eliza?”
“She crossed back into the wastelands, but she could be anywhere now.” Sebastian walked past, making sure he flicked me in the nose with his tail.
“This is not my fault,” I told him.
“That does not change how I feel about you, and if you had not in your infinite wisdom killed the Bledgrum, things might not be quite so dire,” he replied as he walked out, followed by the rest of the throng.
“Bledgrum?” Mathieu asked.
I shrugged and immediately deflected, pretty much second nature. “Can’t leave you alone for a minute,” I said to Mathieu, who returned entirely to his human form.
“Funny how sometimes I miss the solitude of my missile silo. Life might have been pretty boring back before I met you, but I wasn’t continually in danger of losing it.”
“Makes you realize how precious a gift it is when you constantly have it on the line.”
“Cheers to that,” he smiled as he reached into the back of the wagon and pulled out a jug ominously marked with four exes.
“Do I even want to know what’s in there?”
“I thought it witty; each X stands for a Horseman of the Apocalypse. Now I wish I had not been so cavalier with my naming convention.”
“We should probably do our best to drink this elixir down quickly and rid the world of your mistake.” I popped the top off and had pulled a copious draught.
“Be careful,” he said entirely too late. “I rushed the brew and it is not so smooth.”
He hadn’t finished his warning before I was in the midst of a coughing fit, my throat on fire. “I thought you said brew?” I managed to get out past the lava flowing down into my stomach.