by Lisa Daniels
Kerensa sat up straighter at the words, and she swallowed hard. Looking around, her eyes sought Chadwick, who had gone to get more drinks for them. She found him caught in conversation with a few men that she recognized from deliveries they had gotten recently.
Finally, her eyes met the red-haired woman’s gaze, “People really know who I am?”
“Of course. Do you really think that you blend in with those clothes?”
“I-I-I-“ It was one of the few times that Kerensa had been at a loss for words.
“Don’t worry. I will stay with you until your companion returns, but you and your lover had best get out of here before anything happens.”
Kerensa shook her head, “We aren’t that. I mean, he works for my father. And-”
The woman looked at the man, “That is an absolute shame. He is quite an attractive man.”
Kerensa’s head swiveled to look at Chadwick, who looked very energetic as he talked with the others. Now that she looked at him properly, she could see the woman’s point.
Suddenly there was a hand extended to her, “I’m Bree. Witch and spy for anyone in need of a particular type of assistance.”
Kerensa looked down at the hand, uncertain what to do. The woman named Bree stretched out her other hand and placed Kerensa’s hand in her’s. The motion was exaggerated as she shook the young woman’s hand. “It’s a hand shake. I hear it is all the rage with humans.”
Kerensa frowned, “Aren’t you a human?”
The laugh was almost hypnotical, “Gods bless you, but you are very generous. Most people would not say such a thing. So, what brings the daughter of one of the wealthiest families in one of the wealthiest nations on the planet to a tavern?”
Kerensa answered simply, “Research.”
The woman lifted both of her elegant eyebrows, “Research? What kind of research?”
That was all Kerensa needed before launching into her theories and ideas about Vetitum, a place renowned for its wealth, cold, and seclusion from the rest of the world.
Bree proved to be an ideal listener. When the young woman finished talking, she quickly began to apologize for her enthusiasm, to which Bree waved off the words. “Never apologize for what you love. It taints it with a false sense of regret. Oh!” She looked at the young woman, “Actually, I think I may be able to help you.”
By the time Chadwick reached the women, Bree had told Kerensa about an expedition that was to leave Berenice in about six months. The witch had given her some advice on how to disguise her gender and how to behave so that she could pass as a man when surrounded by a ship full of men on a long journey. Kerensa got the impression that Bree spoke from personal experience as she quickly jotted down the ideas.
Now here Kerensa stood on the ship, dressed as a male researcher. She had been unable to cut her long hair, but in every other aspect, she had tried to appear masculine. It had been a particular challenge as none of the men in her life took the outfit seriously besides her father. He had given as much support as he could, but his time was incredibly limited and his assistance only given with half of his attention.
Only her father had seen her off as her mother and sister were completely against her taking a trip, and that was without knowing the full extent of what she was to do. The young woman had been ok with that as it meant she could leave dressed as a man without anyone causing trouble for her. Sir Gwavas had given her a big hug the evening before and wished her well. Chadwick was to join her as a research attendant because even Sir Gwavas was not entirely comfortable with his daughter on a ship full of men without someone he could trust. He also was very aware that Chadwick was in love with his daughter, but this appeared to be more of a boone as that meant the man would keep a close eye on Kerensa.
Her eyes looked over everything, from the ship to the men to the water. It was surreal and wonderful. With a smile, Kerensa bent over to pick up her luggage as a young man began to pass her.
“Please allow me to help you with that.”
Kerensa looked up, half expecting to see Chadwick already breaking his promise to act like an assistant than a servant. Instead, she looked into the startling sky blue eyes of a very well-off looking (and finely built) gentleman. The man’s clothes were incredibly white, a color only used by those with a lot of money or royalty as it was next to impossible to keep anything of that color so impeccably clean. The seams were stitched with golden threads that matched the buttons and the delicate designs around the base of the neck. The shirt moved up the man’s neck and folded over just a little, exposing an incredibly pale, muscular neck. The outfit may have been the first an onlooker would notice, but it would not hold anyone’s attention beyond a couple of seconds.
Not when the wearer was altogether more startlingly handsome than his clothing. The man’s hair was a pale blond pulled back in a way that only nobility in a few countries wore their hair. All of those countries were a long way off and were known to be far wealthier than anything in the part of the globe where Kerensa lived. The fact that he was relatively pale indicated that he was probably from the land where no one dared to travel because it was entirely unfriendly to outsiders. It was so far north that even Scythia seemed almost tropical by comparison. At least Scythia had a summer. Not that anyone had ever traveled far into that distant land and returned. One of the few things known about the place was that it was a land formation completely covered in ice and glaciers.
It was the one place where she had longed to go.
The people in Kerensa’s part of the world had called the land Vetitum simply because a ban on traveling had been made nearly 100 years ago when they had unsuccessfully waged war on the tiny frozen continent. The war had been so one-sided that most people where Kerensa was from refused to acknowledge it had happened. She only knew about the war after delving into some of the private libraries of her father’s friends over the last few years. It was somewhere that Kerensa would have paid her family fortune to see just for a day. How did a place where nothing could grow contain so much wealth? That was the question most people asked. The more pressing question to Kerensa was how in the world did anyone live on such an apparently barren continent? One day would be enough to at least hint toward the answer to that riddle.
For the first time in her life, Kerensa was struck speechless by the sheer beauty and elegance of the man in front of her. She blinked a few times, unable to say anything as her eyes tried to process what she had thought would be impossible. Somewhere in her mind was screaming at her that this was the chance of a lifetime – there was someone in front of her who was probably from that fabled land. She had to say something! Anything! But too much of her brain was preoccupied with a completely different assessment, a completely unrelated idea of what once in a lifetime could mean. It was a new experience for her, and for a moment, Kerensa could understand why poets and artists were so enamored on beauty. The man was everything that artists described, and the kind of image that she had always laughed off as being not only unrealistic, but unattractive based on the impossibility of it. Kerensa had always been a firm believer that there was no point in desiring the impossible when there were plenty of challenges that were attainable if she just put her mind to it.
The man’s head tilted to the side as he waited for a response. When she said nothing, he gave her a smile and reached down to pick up her largest pieces of luggage. He gave her a dazzling smile, and her mind noted the little dimple that appeared. Feeling self-conscious, her eyes looked away from his and down at her luggage, where she noticed his elegantly gloved hands. The fingers were slim, yet he did not seem to have any trouble lifting her bags and moving away from the ramp.
“If you would be so kind as to direct me toward your cabin,” he looked back at her when he realized that she was still standing where he had left her.
Several of the men looked over at them, but just as last time, they quickly returned to work, completely unconcerned with researchers and wealthy travelers.
Kerensa
felt her cheeks flush for the first time in years as she realized that she must look like a complete idiot. “I’m sorry, I’ll carry those.” She moved forward to take her bags back.
“I would hate to have one of the researchers get injured before we even leave land. Just show me the way and make sure you ask for help next time.” The smile never left his face as he brushed off her delayed reaction.
It was the kind of behavior that Kerensa had been accustomed to as a woman from a particular type of family, but she had not expected that sort of treatment onboard the ship. She was completely disarmed as she nodded her agreement and headed toward the cabin the captain had shown her a few days before.
It was only as she was walking that she began to think of a number of questions. Why was the man carrying her stuff? Was he one of those men who was hoping to buy knowledge from those who studied? Or perhaps he was hoping to sway researchers to back something he wanted approved? That was fairly common with men who did not understand how seriously scholars took their work. Kerensa was reprimanding herself for being so foolish as she came up with reasons why such a stunningly beautiful and obviously privileged man would want to help her. Especially since she looked like a boy. Whatever his reasons, the young woman was certain they weren’t altruistic. She resolved to set him straight as soon as they were to the cabin so that there would be no expectations from the man later.
Chapter 2
The Unexpected Lesson
As soon as they reached her cabin, Kerensa stepped to the side and spoke, “Thank you very much for your help, but I’m afraid I cannot repay you.”
The man stepped into the room and closed the door with his foot.
“Hey!” Kerensa was frowning. “What do you think you are-”
The man’s smile disappeared and his expression was very serious as he looked at her. Placing one of the bags down, he turned and locked the door. “I’m not sure what you think you are doing, but that is not going to work.” His voice was firm, but managed to be lovely as he moved around the cabin dropping off her luggage in a few strategic places.
Kerensa’s frown turned into a scowl, “I am not about to compromise my scholarly integrity for-”
His arms now empty, the man turned toward her, “You have put that on wrong.” Without a word of warning, he removed his gloves and began tugging at different areas around her collar. Kerensa’s face flushed and for the second time she could not find the words to talk. Hadn’t he meant that payment was required? Or had he been talking about her clothes not working? His elegant face was close to hers as he adjusted the outfit.
“There’s no reason to be ashamed,” the man took her shoulders and turned her around to look in a mirror. “See? This goes like this.” He moved the collar to show her what he had done, “And this doesn’t look quite right, but I’m not about to undress you to fix it. However, watch.”
To her surprise, the man began to remove his clothing. She wanted to stop him, to point out how inappropriate his behavior was since she was a girl, but she was also aware that she could not tell him she was in fact a woman. Unsure what to say, Kerensa kept her mouth shut as her eyes were plastered to the mirror as the man began to remove his coat and shirt. Her eyes went wide and if she had been like her sister, Kerensa was certain her face would be a brilliant shade of pink.
There was no ceremony as he removed his shirt and under shirt, then looked over at her. Kerensa couldn’t help but stare at his perfectly shaped torso. There wasn’t a hint of fat anywhere as the muscles rippled and moved as he finished removing the underclothing. His physique was unlike anything the young woman had seen. The scholars she spent time with were always either skin and bones or portly. The men of society put not effort into their bodies, so many of them were in whatever shape genetics dictated (their staff usually made sure that they didn’t get too overweight). It was possible that men like Chadwick had those kinds of muscles, but she never had any interest in finding out what was under the thick clothing. Many of the men on the ship also appeared to be muscular, but the young woman’s mind had never dwelled on it as it seemed irrelevant. Now here she was in close quarters with what she was quite certain was impossible perfection – but the man didn’t seem to think anything of it. He thinks I'm a boy. Maybe I should tell him? A little late, she began to try to find ways to get the stranger to dress. This was certainly not the behavior she was accustomed to.
“Um, excuse me sir, but could you please put your shirt on?” She could feel that her face was flushed as she tried to pry her eyes off of his body. He said something, but she did not hear it as her eyes took in his exquisite form. With the man’s shirt off, Kerensa’s eyes were drawn to a large tattoo on his chest. Staring back at her was an enormous dragon’s face, it’s teeth open as if it were about to roar. It covered the man’s entire pectoral muscle and moved along his arm. The dragon was impossible to miss. It was not the kind of thing high society men did, but something about it seemed noble, almost other worldly as she looked at it.
There was a gentle laugh, “Yes, she is quite lovely, isn’t she.” The man’s hand went to the head of the dragon, almost as if he was petting it.”
Kerensa drew her eyebrows together, “She?”
“Of course. Now, if you will please watch the way I put this on. It will be difficult to replicate without doing it yourself, so feel free to give it a try on your own if you would like.”
Her cheeks flushed, “I am not comfortable removing my clothes.”
The man looked at her before laughing again, “I understand. I meant you can work on my clothing once you have seen me do this a couple of times.”
“Oh!” Kerensa’s face flushed more, “I think I should warn you-”
“Warn me?” The man tilted his head to the side, but there was a smile on his face, “Do you think that I believe you are a boy?” Kerensa’s eyes widened again. “No man would make that mistake if he had spent any time with women of your station. I am here to help you, and since I am not going to ask you to remove your clothing, I feel it best to offer my body as a way for you to try to dress like a man. After all, we are not the only passengers from a higher level of society. I may not know your specific story, or what drove you to this, but I know how brave it was and what kinds of sacrifices you have made. I am always willing to help people like you who are only trying to be true to yourself. After all, this is nothing compared to the struggle you will face every day.”
Kerensa swallowed and watched the man’s face. While not everything he said made sense, much of what he said made it sound like he actually did understand her position. “Th-Thank you,” she managed to stammer.
“No need to thank me. Just watch. I will help you learn what you need to do to pass for a man.” With another dazzling smile that showed his dimple, the man began to put the clothing back on, making sure to comment with each article that he added.
It took a bit of time, but before too long, Kerensa’s attention was squarely on what the man was doing. Her eyes followed his movements and she took note of the things that he said. After he finished, she looked at him and tilted her head. “Would you mind doing that again please?”
The man smiled and began to remove the clothing, “It is obvious that you are more interested in learning than whatever you were born into – a born scholar, not a born lady.”
Kerensa gave him a rare smile. Her father was the only person whom she knew who ever said anything like that. It was a kind of recognition that she never thought she would find elsewhere. At least it was the kind of recognition that she had ceased to look for as a woman. Now here was someone recognizing her interest, although there was no way for him to know her ability. As he began to remove his shirt, she picked up a pen and some paper, preparing to take notes. Though his physique was a bit of a distraction, the young woman was able to quickly get her mind back on the task at hand. By the time he finished explaining what he was doing as he dressed, Kerensa was feeling that she understood the principles. However, understan
ding and doing were two very different things.
The man looked at her with his startling blue eyes and incredible smile. She gave him a small smile back, then looked out of the window as she asked, “Could I trouble you to watch me to it? I think I understand what needs to be done, but…” Her eyes turned back to see a slight look of shock on his face that the man quickly hid.
“Of course. It makes sense that you would like some guidance. I can help you as long as you are alright with the arrangement.” His smile was very sweet as he acquiesced to her request.
Her mind firmly on the task of looking like a man, Kerensa began to unbutton her shirt. If she could persuade everyone that she was a man, there was nothing that she couldn’t do. It was just as Bree had said, it was just a matter of hiding her gender so that people could see her for herself.
As soon as she had removed her undershirt, Kerensa looked over her notes again before getting started again. Her eyes then went to the man, who was similarly undressed. A faint blush went over her face as she considered how awkward it would be if anyone walked in at that moment. With the binding around her, there was no doubt about her gender in this state of undress.
The man was standing close enough that she could see the detail in the dragon tattoo, but not so close that they were touching. Trying to put her mind back on the task, Kerensa picked up the undershirt. A sudden shock went through the ship, and she stumbled and nearly hit the dresser. A cool arm gently wrapped around her before Kerensa’s body struck the dresser.
“Careful. We aren’t on land anymore. You need to keep your legs a little more flexible.” His arm was still around her as the man reached down and tapped behind her knees. “Don’t lock them, alright?” His eyes met hers. Kerensa felt her breath catch as she looked into the icy blue eyes and dimpled smile. His face was so close. The feel of his cool body was like a fresh breeze on a hot day. It distracted her from what she needed to do. Giving a little nod, she pulled away from him.