“Yes?”
“Why do you call me Peaches?”
“Because you are the most sarcastic, pessimistic, distrustful, self-tortured, bitchy person I’ve ever met.”
“You should write greeting cards.” I was almost sorry I asked, but thankfully he kept talking.
“And because deep down, I know you’re none of those things.”
“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?”
I could hear the smile in his voice. “Someone has to be.”
“We’ll see how far that gets us.” I shut the door on his laughter and walked onto the back porch. There was a swing hanging from the ceiling to the left. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it would do.
I watched the sunrise, feeling the rays move across my face, slowly drying the tears. Yes, I was having a minor breakdown. It was stupid to cry when nothing could be done about it anyway, but sometimes the tears fall when you least expect them. I tried to be quiet though, since the swing was right in front of the bedroom windows. Didn’t need Gabriel hearing me. A few loud sniffles escaped, but he was probably asleep already.
So my sister turned out to be the enemy I feared most, the would-be thief of any dreams I dared harbor. My heart throbbed in repulsion to the veracity of it. Fresh tears ran down my cheeks as I came to terms with the entire catastrophe. I needed to explain to the Members that my intentions were pure, no matter how skewed their origins. The ceremony could never take place.
Finally, the tears dried up and my brain shut off. I sat there until ten or so, just swinging back and forth, watching the grass blow in the slight breeze, taking in the colors of the wild flowers. The setting was very peaceful. Better than any therapy I knew.
When my eyes fought to stay open I went inside, locked the door like Gabriel requested, threw the clothes in the dryer, and crawled under the sheets of the squeaky foldout bed. I didn’t even remember falling asleep.
Chapter Sixteen
I slept right through the day. It was roughly ten p.m. when I heard Gabriel’s footsteps in the kitchen. He was talking on the phone in a hushed voice, pacing back and forth. He must have just gotten up because he was still wearing long, checkered men’s pajama bottoms and a white cotton T-shirt. Soon, the cell phone found the countertop. He propped himself against the sink, one hand on each side, lightly gripping the metal, eyes closed.
It was dark outside. I had slept for roughly twelve hours. Nice to know my scattered life hadn’t interfered with a good day’s rest. Jeez.
Gabriel turned his head and looked at me.
“Who was on the phone?”
“Ben. Seth is home safe.”
“Good.”
“I have to meet with the Members tonight. I’ll let you know how much trouble you’re in.”
“Acceptance is the first step.”
“I doubt they’ll let you work through a multiple-step program to make what you did last night okay.”
I laughed as I walked into the kitchen and pulled my jeans out of the dryer. Inappropriate laughter is quite a stress reliever sometimes. Still grinning, I put the jeans on right there in the kitchen. The sleep shirt was long enough to obstruct any views. It’s funny how you can do something like that in front of a stranger, but when it’s someone intimate, self-consciousness takes over and everyone runs for cover. Gabriel definitely looked amused, though. I doubted he would do the same in my company. Not because he thought of me intimately. He was just uptight.
“I’m going with you.”
There was no hesitation when he said, “No.”
“Why?”
“No.”
“Will my sister be there?”
It took him a little longer to say yes.
“Then I’m going. You’re my appointed bodyguard, not my representative.”
“You burned a house down last night.” He was dry, humorless.
“Probably not the entire house, right? Right?”
“I don’t think they care about minor details. You were reckless and overly abrasive. And again, I feel it’s necessary to mention scary and insane.”
“Yeah, but in a hands-on, working-through-my-issues kind of way.” If he didn’t want to joke, I could. His mood wasn’t law.
“This is not a light issue.”
“How can the Members be so squeamish? They were out of there before the flames even touched the table cloth.”
“They are debaters, not fighters. That’s not a bad quality. Be thankful they covet peaceful negotiation. They could have taken your life without ever touching you if that’s what they wished.”
That comment lit a fire I hadn’t thought was ready to burn. All of the hostility from the night before rose up and spewed out. “Then why didn’t they? It would have ended everything. They could find a new Cypher, my sister could go back to her hunky-dory life without worrying that I might pop in for a cup of tea and a soul, and you could go back to your life instead of playing bodyguard-slash-babysitter! So why didn’t they?”
Frustration drove me stomping onto the porch like a complete three-year-old.
Gabriel followed my pace and ended up right in front of me, blocking the exit to the overgrown field I was headed for. “That’s what you wanted. Whether you thought it out or did it unconsciously, you didn’t plan to leave that house. By their hands or yours, you wanted to die.”
It’s odd how a few words can wash away pretenses like a tidal wave. What a mood-killer.
I had acted like a mad woman, but I took it to be rage, an uncontrollable outpour of sorts. But the truth of what he said shocked me. Unconsciously, I’d hoped they would dig my grave before I dug Ellenore’s. They failed. That’s why I was so furious. I’d braced myself for death and they didn’t follow through, so I had made a new plan. All without really knowing what it was, what I was doing.
Gabriel broke my concentration. “You can’t even argue.”
It was my turn to sigh. “No.”
“You’re not the only one with lost dreams. Stop allowing your job to dictate your life. That’s your problem. That’s why you have a death wish. Stop over thinking the simple things.”
“I don’t. I usually don’t think about them at all.”
“Well, start.”
“Who the hell are you to tell me what to do with my life?”
His human eyes transformed into the glistening green, predatory eyes I was becoming accustomed to. They had taken on a whole new dimension. They were almost so mesmerizing I didn’t immediately react to his protruding fangs. Vamps don’t really have the capability to hypnotize people with their eyes. They wish! But they do have the ability to calm their victims. I think it has something to do with pheromones, but I’d never thought about it enough to ask. Maybe I should have, although I wasn’t feeling very calm when my brain registered that Gabriel had just changed and I was sure it wasn’t for a reason I would like.
He moved in so close I could feel his waning body heat. Note that it was heat obtained from my blood. Once I tilted my head up while he tilted his down, we were face to face. He was up to something and I didn’t feel like giving him more incentive.
I spoke before I let myself process any fear. He definitely had potential to be dangerous, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “You look awfully pretty today.”
He snarled.
Even though I really didn’t feel like it, I joked some more. I do that sometimes when I’m nervous. “That’s the problem. All the cute guys have attitudes.”
I received a reverberating growl in response. However, my jousting apparently warranted a verbal response as well.
“Do you want to die?”
“Stop it. Stop trying to change me.”
He mirrored my movements as I shifted to the left. “Think of it as therapy.”
I moved back to the right. So did he. “What do you want, Gabriel?”
“If you want to die, I can do it right here. If you fight, I’ll take you to the Members.”
“What’s tha
t supposed to prove?”
“If you really don’t care about your life, you won’t mind missing it.”
“You want to kill me?” My heart felt like it had fallen off a shelf and hit every organ on the way down. I tried to look calm, but my breathing was short, defensive.
“I want you to make up your mind. Stop talking. Fight or die. It’s your decision.”
He was serious, which ticked me off. It was one thing if I chose to let someone kill me. It was completely different if I was being bullied into it.
“I can’t win a fight against you. This is ridiculous. I won’t do it.”
“Then die out here in the middle of deserted farmland for no reason.”
“You’re judging me on the basis that you think you know me. You don’t know who I am. You didn’t even know I loaned out my soul until last night.”
He drew in close like a predator, breath brushing my face. “Show me who you are.” Before I could protest he knocked me off the side of the porch and I met the ground with a thud. My arms tingled and my elbows rang with pain. Hitting your funny bone, especially two at once, is never, ever a laughing matter.
I couldn’t get up immediately. My lungs were still struggling for air and my body had to return to three-dimensional form. A long pause later, I was able to flip over and push up onto my hands and knees.
Gabriel started walking down the stairs. “Have you made your choice?”
“Bite me!”
Oh, not something you say to a vampire. Approaching, he archaically grabbed my right arm above the elbow and jolted me off the ground. Completely serious, he said, “A part of me is destroyed every time I hurt you, but I’ll do what it takes.”
“For what?” He had officially pissed me off.
“To see a sign of life!” He let go of my arm like it was something despicable.
Gabriel wasn’t allowed to bully me, especially after he made it clear that he cared for me and after all the nice things I’d thought about him.
Before he had a chance to push me again, I gave him a good, hardy punch in the face. All of my weight leaned into it. He didn’t fall. That was okay. I could tell it stung. Vampires are hard to kill, but they’re just as easy to hurt as anyone else. Almost. I punched him again on the same cheek. Without recuperating, he pushed me so hard I landed ten feet away.
My eyes focused on grass. It stuck to my hands and face as I pulled myself up. When I could hear him walking up behind me I leaped, spinning to meet him. He tried to knock me down again, but I swerved and punched his mouth. Blood covered my knuckles. It was a little of his and a lot of mine.
I knew he wasn’t using one hundred percent of his strength. It was clear that killing or maiming me was not his intention. Gabriel was right. The whole show was quite therapeutic, but we weren’t done. I might not feel the same in, say, a minute.
“More than I expected, Peaches. Care to actually impress me now?”
“You son of a bitch.” My hand swung out toward his head but he ducked, catching my hand in his. I kicked his foot out from under him and used my free hand to make contact with his jaw. It was Gabriel’s turn to spend some time on the ground. But vampires don’t lie down quietly. He grabbed my foot. In a blink, I was on the ground and he was on top of me.
Gabriel was right. The only reason I wanted to die before was because I hadn’t been living to begin with. I wanted to show him I wasn’t a pushover. I wanted to speak to the Members myself. I wanted to secure my future. It was my right as much as Ellenore’s to make sure I got what I could out of life.
I rolled on top of him and placed my hand over his chest. Without thinking, I called his soul out. It swirled into that empty space in my chest.
Uh-oh.
Chapter Seventeen
It was too late to take back the blunder by the time I registered what I’d just done. Putting Gabriel’s soul back, I promptly jumped off his still frame and ran for the house. There were no footsteps when he caught up. Vampires wake from that unanimated state a lot faster than humans.
His eyes and teeth were human again. “Did you read my soul?”
“No!” I tried to act normal, like everything wasn’t turned upside down, so I blinked. Then I confessed, “Okay, I took it, but I didn’t read it.”
He was blocking my way into the house. I’d never met such a pushy man. This time, however, was validated because I was lying and he knew it. I tried to push past him as I thought of something to say, but each frantic attempt was thwarted.
“You took it.”
“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t think before I took it.”
“Why did you take it?” He closed in.
“Because I had to.”
“Why?”
I stopped fidgeting and raised my chin. “To win.”
“To win what?”
“The right to take my life back.”
He smiled from molar to molar. A first in my company. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”
It was a hidden relief that he wasn’t mad, so I offered, “I can read it, you know. I mean, if you want me to.”
“I was taken to a Cypher once. I know what I should.”
I informed him, “I’m going with you tonight,” after a few silent heartbeats.
“That was the deal.”
Grudgingly, I muttered, “You didn’t use full strength.”
“You could have killed me when I was suspended. You won,” he said as we walked into the kitchen with its dim bulb.
Our relationship was so weird. One minute we kicked and screamed, and the next we hung out like it was Casual Friday. Only, I had won. Did I feel like a winner? Kind of. In a fair fight though, Gabriel would win every time. And my life? How much could I take back? What did I want to take back?
Gabriel wet a dishtowel and handed it to me before dampening one for himself. “Let’s wipe up some blood and cross our fingers we won’t need to do so later.”
I could see the beginnings of a black eye that reached all the way to Gabriel’s left cheekbone. Also, his lip was swelling at quite a pace. It would all heal before night’s end, however.
Before laughing at the total absurdity of us, I caught my own reflection in the door. I had a bloom that looked like a rug burn on the left side of my face from the grass. In fact, we both had grass stains imbedded in our skin, along with tons of minuscule scratches. My elbows were skinned a little, my knuckles cracked and bleeding. I would suffer achy muscles and bruises for a day or two, but at least I’d put a dent in the vampire, too.
We stared into the door pane, taking inventory, when Gabriel startled me. “Now we both look pretty,” he said, his proximity so oppressive it drove me a step back. We couldn’t afford a scene like the night before. Neither of us would recover our dignity.
He’d been right, though. There’s something to be said about fighting to work out your problems to find out what you really want, to find out where your will is. Don’t get me wrong. Never again would be too soon. But sometimes an extreme act is called for when dealing with extreme situations. A soul-swiping sister and a mad band of vampires was definitely an extreme situation. Maybe my life needed to be classified as an extreme sport now. No, I didn’t think it was quite that dangerous. Yet.
I still had to meet with the Members. Gabriel said they were thinkers, not doers, but they were also very, very old vampires. How much could I really trust them?
Gabriel took a shower first. He had been using the dishcloth to wipe away the smudges. Watching a neat freak use a toothbrush to clean a castle is beyond pitiful. Plus, the pain from taking his soul consumed me, and I wanted to deal with it alone. At least the night before had been so extreme, the regular pain wasn’t bothering me as much as usual. I just thought to myself, It’ll pass soon enough.
While Gabriel showered, I occupied myself by looking through the closet. Dresses were out. No reason—just because. Shorts were very informal, and my legs would look really pale against all the rosy cuts and scratches. Funny, I was worri
ed about looking too pale next to a bunch of vampires.
There was a nice blouse in the back of the closet that seemed right for the occasion. Reckless blue and purple flowers popped against a wheat backdrop. It buttoned up the front and felt really soft. I liked it. And the best part was I could wear it with my own jeans and boots. I snagged the blouse and ran for the shower when Gabriel emerged.
I spent the better half of an hour standing under the water, feeling the hot beads baptize my skin. It had really been stupid to pull Gabriel’s soul when I knew what would happen. Pulling multiple souls the night before should have cautioned my temper.
When I was all done in the bathroom, I found him in the living room sprawled across the length of the couch, hands resting under his head, eyes closed. He wore a snug burgundy long-sleeved V-neck knit with the darkest boot-cut jeans, minus shoes. At rest, his sex appeal idled on “hot damn.” I couldn’t help but gawk.
His eyes sprang open, body unaffected. “Should I be flattered?”
He’d known we’d be staying here and didn’t grab a change of clothes for me. “I was just thinking how nice you look. In your clothes!” I kicked his foot dangling from the couch. “Why didn’t you pack mine, Ass?”
He sat up, leaning against one of the oversized pillows. “It seemed too personal. Choosing someone’s clothes is very intimate.”
“But tossing me to hell and back, drugging me, and kidnapping me isn’t?”
“No, not really. You don’t like the clothes?” He leaned to the side of the couch to look at my entire outfit, eyes traveling from my shoes to my face. “You don’t like the blouse?”
“Yes, but it’s not mine.”
“I’m giving it to you. There. Everything else is yours. The shoes. The pants.” Was he trying to say I looked bad? Without blinking, he anticipated my reaction and retorted, “I think you look very nice, except...you’re still green, too.”
It was awful. The grass was literally imbedded in my skin. Most of it came off, but there was a green sheen that refused to wash down the drain. And in some spots, like my elbows and the cuts on my face, it blatantly reminded me that no one should resemble a Chia-Pet.
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