by K. G. Reuss
It all felt so real. I could taste the sweetness of the pancakes Mom made me for breakfast. Smell the musty scent of the old books in the library. Feel his touch on my hips like his hands were still on me. And I was still breathless from running out of the library. And my heart, it was still beating as fast as a hummingbird’s from that hungry look in his eyes.
I threw myself back on my bed, hoping to calm my body that was reeling from that dream, a dream that felt like anything but.
Donovan
"What the fuck,” I hissed, dragging my fingers through my messy, dark hair in frustration. My chest ached, making it difficult to gulp in air. I slammed the door to my apartment in Hell and flopped down onto my couch, cradling my head in my hands. The kingdom of Hell never slept. The howls of torment and pain, cries of debauchery and the revelry of all out hell raising happened every moment here. The sights and sounds of New York City had nothing on the kingdom of Hell. Getting any peace was a rarity. If someone wasn’t busting a bottle or shrieking in the streets, they were fucking loudly enough I couldn’t get a wink of sleep.
Add my thoughts to the situation and I was a wreck.
It was her. My girl. The one I’d become this for. And she didn’t have a fucking clue who I even was. Ever since the Devil tore her away from me, I’d been searching for her. Over two hundred years of looking and never finding. Then she’d made a wish, her heart aching so much it had called me to her in her dreams—the very same place I could take her life from her.
She wasn’t the same… And yet she was. She was still beautiful. But she was so broken. So sad. When I knew her, she was strong, filled with spirit and defiance. Now, all traces of who she once was were gone. I hated that. I wanted to go back to her, infiltrate every dream she’d have for eternity. I yearned to make her smile, make her laugh. I’d missed the sound of her laughter for far too long.
I sat there with my head bowed in my hands for a long time before it struck me. I’d found her. I’d found her! The woman the blood in my veins pumped for. She’d been my entire world. Even after all these years, she still was. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t lost hope of ever seeing her again. The years had been long and unkind. I’d made my way through them, keeping my mind numb as I fucked and pillaged women to earn my stay, hoping that someday I’d be able to break the curse the Devil had put on me for stealing what was his.
Her words from so long ago still echoed in my head, “It’s not really stealing if it was never really his.”
She was right. She’d never been his. She’d been mine.
My mind drifted back over to the years to the moment my world shifted.
“Donavon, His Dark Majesty wishes to see you in the throne room,” Abe, one of my fellow guards and best friend, called out to me in his deep voice. I looked up from sharpening my blade.
“He said to hurry,” Abe said pointedly.
“Did he say why?” I asked, stuffing the blade in the sheath at my side and adjusting my black attire.
“New arrival. That’s all I know.” Abe shrugged. “But he was firm. You best get there now.”
I knew if the king was beckoning me, I’d best make haste. I hurried through the black citadel, nodding at the demons I knew. When I reached the massive, charred doors to the throne room, I adjusted my collar and drew in a deep breath.
“Are you ready to enter, Sir Donovan?” a guard at the door asked, his face hidden beneath his black armor.
“Yes.” I nodded, steeling myself. It was one thing to hang out and chat with the king. It was quite another to be called to him. If we weren’t sharing liquor, then it was usually a bad circumstance. Lucifer tended to be short-fused. I racked my brain wondering if I’d somehow pissed him off. Nothing came to mind.
The door swung open, revealing the slick, black marble floor. I looked forward, my head held high, to see the king sitting on his obsidian throne, his eyes blazing red.
“Donovan,” he greeted in his thick, polished voice as I quickly approached and fell to a knee before him and bowed my head. “I’m always impressed with how bloody fast your response time is.” Even millennia after, his tone retained that old, otherworldly timbre that most closely resembled a British accent.
“My Lord.” I looked up at him. He was a beautiful creature with dark hair and flawless, ivory skin. He looked heavenly. Although if he ever heard anyone say that, he’d push his blade through their chests so fast they’d crumble to ground before being able to rush out a plea for forgiveness.
“My most trusted friend,” his voice was a deep, appraising growl as he smiled down at me. “And most lethal guard. I’ve summoned you here because I’ve been given a gift.” He grew quiet before letting out a soft chuckle. I rose to my feet and regarded him motionlessly, waiting for him to continue.
“I should clarify.” His red eyes focused on mine. “I may have taken advantage of the gift. That being said, my new toy needs protection from the bloody angels. You see, they’re going to think me a wanker for having done what I did. But you know me.” His lips quirked up into a wide, mischievous grin. “Sometimes I just can’t help myself.”
“You know you have my blade, my lord. It’s sharpened and ready for your direction.”
“Ah, too true.” He gave me an affectionate smile.
“Guards!” he called out to the guards standing post over a door opposite of where I’d entered. A moment later, the door opened, and a dark form cloaked in a robe entered the room with two guards flanking it. With the hood drawn, I couldn’t make out a thing about the figure except it had to be a female. Her form was slight, and she moved across the floor as if she was gliding—all graceful and perfect. But despite the graceful, lithe steps, she could be a cave demon for all I knew. And those bastards were ugly. It would explain the covering over her body.
“Donovan,” Lucifer called out to me as his arm snaked around the dark form’s waist. “I’d like you to meet your new charge. This here is Olivia.” He reached out and pulled her hood down, revealing a goddess with hair the color of lava. I let out a sharp gasp as her brilliant, green eyes fell on me. I’d never seen anyone so beautiful in my existence. And I’d been around for a long fucking time.
“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Lucifer cooed, his finger gently brushing against her perfect, porcelain skin. She didn’t even flinch beneath his touch. Her eyes remained fixed on me, no trace of emotion on her pretty face. She was tough. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out about her. It only made her more beautiful in my eyes.
“She is a beauty.” I cleared my throat quickly and looked back to the king, sneaking a peek at her again. Her eyes had moved and were now focused somewhere over my head. “What would my lord have me do?”
“You are to be by her side when I am not,” Lucifer said, turning his attention to me. “Keep her company. Keep her safe. I’d be very upset if I lost my prize.” His last sentence was clipped, his eyes burning brighter as he stared at me.
“I understand, my lord.” I swallowed hard and glanced at Olivia. What had she done to find herself in the devil’s clutches? The world had to be weeping at its loss.
“Wonderful!” Lucifer clapped his hands together before he let one fall to the small of her back again. “She needs to be taken to the palace fitter so gowns can be made. See to it she makes it there. Afterwards, entertain her. Show her around. Have fun with her.”
“My Lord.” I nodded my understanding at him, trying not to grind my teeth. He’d beckoned me to be a babysitter. I was his right-hand man. And now, a fucking babysitter. It didn’t matter she was beautiful. I’d be the laughing stock of the army.
I held out my arm for Olivia to take. She glanced at me before looking at the devil for permission.
“Go on. Donovan will take good care of you. He’s my most trusted friend.” The devil’s eyes fell on me as she took a step forward and took my arm. I bowed my head to the devil and moved to guide Olivia out of the throne room when the he called out to me.
“Donovan?”
/>
“Yes, my lord.” I turned back to him, Olivia still on my arm.
“When I said have fun, I meant not too much. I plan on making her my queen. If she is touched in any way that causes me anger, if her virginity is taken, I will be rather upset. You understand, yes?”
“Of course, my king. I understand,” I said solemnly. “You have my word.”
“Let’s hope so. It would be most unfortunate if you failed me.”
I didn’t say anything else. We were excused, and I escorted Olivia in silence through the palace. The moment we were far enough away from the throne room and the hall was empty, she let out a frustrated sigh.
“I’m so glad to be rid of that overbearing prick,” she spat out, her vehemence taking me by surprise.
“What?”
“He’s an asshole,” she continued, pulling away from my arm. “I’d kill him if I could.”
“Do not speak ill of your king—” I warned sternly, but she cut me off with a growl.
“He is not my king. He can be yours, but he will never be mine. He’s a weak piece of shit who preys on the innocent and those in need. He will never have my respect. Ever.” She stopped in the hallway and glared at me, her green eyes so filled with passion it left me breathless. If possible, she looked even more beautiful. I shook the thought away. I wasn’t allowed to have them. I heard what the devil said loud and clear. He’d have my ass if I screwed this up.
“I take it you’re not from around here,” I replied, my eyes raking over her. I was sure if she was, I’d have known about it. It wasn’t often I let a beautiful creature slip beneath my radar.
“Definitely not,” she snorted. “My baby sister was sick and dying. I made a deal with the devil to save her life.”
“And he got your soul and brought you here,” I finished, knowing the story all too well. We demons tended to be selfish in that respect. It wasn’t the first time a mortal had given her soul away to save someone she loved. And it wouldn’t be the last. “Was it worth it?”
“What?” She seemed surprised by the question.
“Was her life worth more than yours?” I pressed. I watched as her fierce, beautiful features softened. “Do you regret it?”
“She was young. She hadn’t even had a chance to live. She deserved all the happiness in the world. I don’t regret it,” her voice shook, her green eyes bright with unshed tears. “I’d do it again.” She jutted her chin out, her jaw quivering with her restraint.
“Then why cry over it?” I asked, uncomfortable with her tears. I was not an emotional sort. It just didn’t hold well with demon nature. If we had emotions, we’d be angels. But there was something stirring within me. I wanted to comfort this poor stolen angel. I wanted to make it better. I shook those feelings off and stomped them into the ground. No fucking way was I going to get caught up in that mess.
“I’m not.” She quickly righted herself, surprising me. I’d expected more tears. She was definitely tough. “Take me to get these gowns. We both know I don’t need to be on the devil’s shit list.”
“That’s the spirit.” I gave her a tight smile and guided her down the hall, my heart lurching in my chest at her nearness. I’d known her for only a moment and already she was having an effect on me, one I knew might cost me everything if I let it.
I pulled myself out of the memory, feeling the butterflies flapping madly in my guts. I hadn’t felt them in centuries. Not since her. I’d been cursed for loving her. Sentenced to life as an incubus—a demon who preyed on women, fucking their souls out of their bodies and delivering them to Hell. It was the way I sustained myself. A punishment for doing exactly what I was told not to do. I wasn’t allowed to walk in the mortal world. I only had the dreams of others.
The devil had tossed my beautiful girl aside, wasting her soul and making me believe I’d never see her again. But I’d found her. And I’d be damned if I was going to let her go.
Donovan
I flung myself backward and forced my eyes to close. I was tired, a side effect of not taking enough souls. But every time I tried to focus and find my way into the dreamscape, all I could picture was flaming-red hair fanned out across my pillow; plump, crimson lips as they kissed their way up my chest; soft, ivory skin; and the smell of jasmine despite the smoky scent of Hell.
With a heavy sigh, I chastised myself. I needed to see her, be with her. I wanted her in my arms and in my bed. She’d cast a spell on me from the first time I laid eyes on her, and two hundred years hadn’t changed that.
I forced myself to clear my head. I pushed away all thoughts until I began floating away. When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in my apartment, but in the void with the dreamscape before me. The dreamscape was how I found my way into the dreams of women. It was nothing but a dark abyss with smoke rolling up from the black, charred grass beneath my feet. Dreams were projected before me, like a never-ending movie reel. Like a kid in a candy store, I could pick and choose which dreams I wanted to visit. I did, however, have a preference.
Souls who craved more out of life called out to me. I preferred to take the ones whose life was missing something—love, attention, compassion. Souls filled with desperation called out to me like a beacon, and I always answered those calls. Their sadness and despair rang out to me. I figured I wouldn’t feel so guilty if I just took the ones who were already lacking meaning in their lives. However, I couldn’t take their souls, they had to give them to me by willingly submitting to their innermost desires — meaning I had to gain their trust.
Some souls were easy and gave up the first night, thinking it was nothing more than a dream—a way to fulfill what they weren’t getting during waking hours. But others, it was like their subconscious weren’t as trusting. Deep down, they knew something was off. They were the ones who took a lot more time and effort, but their souls were always stronger and held more power. Those were my favorite. It meant I could survive just a little longer before having to feed on the next soul.
Not that I was overly concerned about it, but I knew I had to space my takes out. I couldn’t just focus on women who lived in a small town. It would become suspicious if too many young women just died peacefully in their sleep with no known causes. I tended to space the women hundreds of miles apart, in different parts of the world even. Tried to select souls whose demises could be attributed to drug addictions, depression, overdoses, heart ailments. But even if suspicion was ever drawn, I didn’t give a shit. I mean, really, what was anyone going to do about it? Not like they could punish me. I was already doing that by taking them. And I was a demon. Good luck trying to catch me.
I skimmed the dreams before choosing Meredith Banks. I hadn’t seen Meredith in months, I’d all but given up on her because she wouldn’t invite me into her bed and give me what I wanted. But tonight, something told me she needed me. I walked forward, stepping through the projection, into her dream.
There were two kinds of dreams. One: the kind created by the subconscious. That kind was less lifelike. They contained very few details, with the only things in focus being things the dreamer directly noticed. Like with Tessa's dream. And two: memories. Those dreams were like reliving events from the past. They were always very detailed and lucid.
Meredith’s dream was a memory. She was standing with a man in a darkened corner of a backyard at some fancy party. I stood between the shrubs, listening into their conversation.
“I’m sorry, Meredith, but it’s over. I can’t do this any longer,” he told her.
“And you pick tonight of all nights to tell me?” she replied, motioning toward the party. I looked toward the lavish property and noticed everyone dressed in their best.
“The night of my sister’s engagement isn’t the time, Howard.” She ran her hand through her dark curls which hung loosely down her back, her voice tight as she tried to contain her emotions.
His eyes focused on the ground as he shook his head. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” He slowly backed away, leaving her alone as he m
ade his exit.
She was left staring after him, completely surprised by the night’s turn of events. It was time to make my move.
With my hands in my pockets, I walked up to her, looking after him the same way she was. I knew what I had to do. “He’s a dick.”
Her eyes quickly flashed to me before she plopped down in a lounge chair. “I thought you left?”
Meredith and I had been forming a friendship for a couple of months before I gave up on her. She wouldn’t even cheat on her boyfriend in her dreams. I finally understood why I’d been called to her now: she was single and needing companionship.
I sat down beside her and nudged her with my shoulder. She looked over at me with tears in her glassy, blue eyes. I knew her heartbreak. I’d been living it for the past two hundred years as I searched the dreamscape for the love I’d lost.
“Don’t worry about him. He obviously fucked up. You’re beautiful. You’ll be swept off your feet in no time.” The words were painful. I knew she was probably a very good woman, the kind the world needed more of. But I needed her soul just a little bit more than the world did.
She looked up at me from beneath her long, dark lashes. “You think so?”
I nodded, wanting to appear confident in my words. I needed her to believe them. To believe and trust in me so that I could get the night over with. “And in the meantime…” I let my sentence drop off as I slowly leaned in closer, moving my lips to hers.
In the past, she always stopped me, but this time she didn’t. My lips pressed against hers, and my tongue slid into her warm mouth, tasting of champagne. She placed her soft hands on either side of my face, deepening the kiss. Not only did she need companionship, but she needed revenge.
I broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. “Want to take a walk with me?” I stood and held out my hand, hoping beyond anything she’d just let go so I could get the hell out of there.
She studied me for a long minute, a minute that felt like eternity, before finally agreeing and standing at my side. Grateful she’d made the decision I needed her to make, I took her hand in mine and led her away from the party, across the large, dark backyard.