Ashes To Ink

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by Carrie Ann Ryan


  Abby knew that she needed to figure out how to get out of the ditch. Maybe she should call Carter. Or the cops. Then, she remembered that Roxie’s husband Carter had just been in an accident and wasn’t working at his shop. He wouldn’t be operating the tow truck.

  Right then, all Abby wanted to do was cry because she had no idea what to do.

  But because she knew her baby was fine, that both of them were fine, she got Julia out of her car seat and held her close.

  She had to keep reminding herself that they were okay. She wasn’t even shaking, even though she probably should have been. Shock would likely do that to her later, but right now, she needed to hold her baby girl.

  Headlights suddenly filled the car, and Abby closed her eyes and held Julia close, trying to protect her as best she could.

  If a car hit them right then, Abby knew that they were done for.

  But as the light continued to fill her car, the oncoming vehicle slowed.

  The sound of a door opening and closing filled Abby’s ears, followed by the sounds of a person walking, their shoes crunching on the snow.

  Someone tapped on the window and called out her name.

  Her name.

  They knew her.

  But because she and Julia had fogged up the windows, Abby couldn’t see who it was. She scooted over in the backseat and opened the car door.

  “Ryan,” she breathed. “Ryan.”

  She had never been happier to see his bearded face.

  Ryan frowned down at her, looked at Julia in her arms, and let out a soft curse. “Are you okay, Abby? What the hell happened?”

  She just looked at him, and then promptly burst into tears.

  Chapter Two

  Ryan didn’t know what to do with tears. Not a woman’s tears, but tears in general. And when Abby started crying right in front of him, he was pretty sure he wanted to cry right along with her.

  When he saw the car in front of him slide on that patch of ice, his blood had gone cold at the sight. Then, he’d noticed who was in that car, and he’d had to swallow down bile before he knocked on the window.

  He’d known that Abby and Julia lived close to him, but the fact that they were close enough that he’d witnessed that? He wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse.

  Ryan looked on as Julia patted her mother’s cheek and murmured sweet nothings, clearly anxious that her mom was upset and not sure what to do about it.

  So, Ryan did the only thing he could. He plucked Julia from Abby’s arms and propped her up on his hip, grateful that she had her big, puffy jacket on to deal with the icy wind.

  “You okay?” he asked again. “I mean physically, since Julia is out of her car seat and you’re in the back.”

  Abby nodded, seeming to collect herself. He’d never seen her break before. She was always so cool and collected, even with those warm smiles of hers. It honestly scared him a little.

  She wiped her tears and nodded. “We weren’t going that fast but I hit the ice wrong.”

  “I can tell. Let’s get that car seat into my vehicle. We’ll make sure Julia is nice and warm, then deal with the technical aspects of this since I don’t think I can pull your car out.”

  She sighed and nodded. “Thank you, Ryan. I didn’t realize you were here. I mean…why are you here?”

  He pointed at his house near the end of the street. “I live right there. Was on my way home from the shop and saw your car hit. I’m going to call Carter’s place and get a tow truck out here. They’ll deal with it and take photos for insurance and all that. I can take you home and make sure Julia gets warm. Sound like a deal?”

  A little line formed between Abby’s brows as she thought over his words. “Carter isn’t at his shop.”

  Ryan gave her a tight nod. “I know.” He kissed Julia’s hand as she patted his face. She smiled at him, and he did the same to her, though he knew it probably didn’t reach his eyes. Watching Abby and Julia crash like that hadn’t made it easy to smile. Then remembering that Carter wasn’t working because he’d almost died? Yeah, that made it harder to smile. “Carter’s crew is working, though.”

  “Oh. I forgot.” Abby was too damn pale.

  “You’re in your head. Take Julia and let me get the seat out of your car. I’ll make a call. You two just stay and get warm.” He paused. “You sure you’re okay? Should we call an ambulance?”

  She seemed to shake herself out of her thoughts and then stood up, her arms held out for her daughter. She once again looked like the woman he knew that could handle anything. The fact that she’d broken just a little in front of him told him not only how shaken she was, but also how damn strong she was to even allow herself to break down in the first place.

  It took a hell of a person to show any kind of weakness in front of another, even though they weren’t exactly strangers.

  “Thank you, Ryan. I’m fine. Though I’ll take Julia to her pediatrician tomorrow just in case. Neither of us hit our heads or anything, but I want to make sure she’s okay.”

  “You’re a good mom. Let’s get you taken care of.”

  “Thank you, Ryan. For everything.”

  Ryan leaned down and ran his finger down Abby’s cheek. From the look on her face, the action surprised them both. He quickly moved his hand, holding back a wince. He and Abby didn’t touch like that, and she had to be scared, just coming out of her shock. Touching her at all would be too much like taking advantage, and he wasn’t about to do that.

  Not now. Not ever.

  Not when it came to sweet Abby.

  Ryan made sure that Julia and Abby were safe in his car, then he removed the car seat from her vehicle, all the while hoping that they were truly okay. Abby was right, the car hadn’t been going that fast, and Julia had been buckled in tight. He assumed Abby had been as well. They would be fine, even if Abby was a little stressed out. He didn’t blame her, though, not after the accident.

  By the time the tow truck arrived, pictures were taken, and everything was in order, Julia was asleep in her car seat in his car, warm and snug like a bug in a rug. Abby had wrung her hands to the point where she probably had a hole in her gloves, but she had stayed strong throughout it all. She was possibly the strongest woman he knew. And considering the women he had in his life, that was saying something.

  After everything had been taken care of, they drove in silence to Abby’s place, and she even made an appointment for Julia with the pediatrician for the next day.

  He knew it was the right course of action, and if Julia had looked the least bit injured or shaken, they would have been at Urgent Care or even the emergency room right then.

  They had all missed dinner, but he didn’t think he could eat anything. Not when he kept going over what he’d seen in his head. Thoughts of exactly what had happened and what he’d seen with Abby and Julia.

  “Do you want to come in for some hot cocoa or something? Or tea?” Abby asked as she lifted Julia into her arms. Ryan worked on getting the car seat out so he could bring it into her house. Someone would have to take her to work the next day. If he did it, then he would just put the car seat back in his vehicle. But Abby had a lot of friends around here, and he assumed she would call one of them to take her.

  “You should probably get her to bed.” He nodded at Julia.

  He didn’t miss the disappointment in Abby’s gaze, but he knew it likely had nothing to do with him, probably just the fact that she didn’t want to be alone. He couldn’t blame her. The thought of going back to his big, empty house didn’t really settle on his shoulders like it should either.

  “I’m going to get her right to sleep, but if you want to come in, at least for a hot drink, you’re more than welcome to. I want to say thank you. But I also don’t want to take up any more of your time. This has already taken up too much of it.”

  Ryan shook his head and closed the car door.

  “I don’t mind. I didn’t have any plans. The fact that you guys are safe is all I really need.” He p
aused and thought better of his initial answer. “Yeah, I’ll take you up on that hot cocoa, but Adrienne tells me you have something with peppermint.”

  Abby rolled her eyes and grinned. “She’s addicted to that peppermint tea. It’s the white chocolate peppermint bark one. I had it last year, as well.”

  Ryan licked his lips, and he didn’t miss the fact that Abby’s gaze followed the motion. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one that was tired. “I’ve had it. That was some damn good stuff.” He winced, looking down at Julia.

  “No worries about the cursing. She’s heard worse, even though everyone tries to be good about it. Plus, she’s out cold. You’re fine.”

  “Speaking of cold, let’s get inside.”

  “You’re right. Standing out here doesn’t make a lot of sense. I guess I’m still a little flustered.”

  He followed her to the house and watched as she deftly opened the door, Julia still in her arms, doing it as if she’d done it a thousand times before. And maybe she had. She had raised Julia alone from birth and hadn’t had any real help.

  He didn’t know how she did it, especially considering he had trouble taking care of himself some days. But she was damn good at it and had even created and ran a whole business on her own. Ryan was just a tattoo artist. Yeah, he was a good one, but he didn’t own his own shop. He finally owned his own home, but he didn’t have much else.

  And…that was enough feeling sorry for himself.

  Ryan stood awkwardly in Abby’s small living room, setting the car seat down on the floor out of the way as Abby went to put Julia to sleep. He kind of wished he’d been able to say goodnight to the little girl, but that wasn’t his place. He was just a friend, and not even a close friend. Maybe over time he and Abby and Julia could get closer, but Abby didn’t need him and his troubles.

  He didn’t need himself and his troubles most days.

  Ryan took a look around the space, enjoying the way she had decorated. It looked like a home rather than how his house looked. She had photos on the wall, art and different knickknacks on shelves and tables. The place was clearly childproof as well, with Julia being able to toddle around. But it still felt warm and lived-in. It wasn’t dirty, wasn’t even messy, but it was clearly a home.

  His house, on the other hand, barely had anything on the walls but his TV and a shelf he’d put up so he could set the rest of the entertainment equipment up. He didn’t have much in the way of furniture, only what he needed. Honestly, the house was too big for him, but it was a steal since he had worked on revamping and reinstalling things on his own.

  But it didn’t feel like a home to him. Maybe it should, and probably would later, but for now, he was still working on it. Abby walked out as he was looking at a few photos on the wall, pausing on one in particular.

  She must have seen what he was looking at because she came and stood next to him, a small smile on her face. Her eyes didn’t look sad, but then again, maybe she was just good at hiding it. After all, he was good at hiding things, too.

  “That’s Max,” Abby said softly.

  He swallowed hard. “Julia’s father, right?”

  “Yes. I try to keep Max around the house for her. And for me, for that matter. I never want to erase him, even though he never got to live in this place.”

  She didn’t seem to mind talking about Max, but he also wasn’t going to bring the other man up and hurt her if he didn’t need to.

  “The place looks great, Abby. I like what you’ve done with it, and it looks like a perfect home for Julia. You’ve done well.”

  She smiled then, her eyes a little brighter. “I’ve tried. I’m not home that much, not as much as I should be. Between work and making sure Julia gets to see more than just the inside of these walls, I haven’t been able to really put the rest of my mark on it.”

  He snorted. At Abby’s look, he explained what he was thinking. “If you could see my place, you’d see why what you just said is hilarious.”

  “A bachelor pad?”

  “Maybe. Or maybe I’m just not good at the whole decorating thing. I’m good with art when it comes to tattoos, but not so much when it comes to my walls.”

  “You know, one of the Montgomerys would probably help you with that. They’re all really good at decorating their houses.”

  “I’ve noticed that. But you’re pretty great, too.”

  “Are you offering me a job to decorate your house?”

  He just shook his head, smiling. “You never know. In case you have time between tea and Julia and having a life, you may want to decorate a four-bedroom house with way too much space and white walls.”

  Abby’s eyes widened as she led him into the kitchen. “Four bedrooms? Just for you?”

  “Yeah, it’s ridiculous. I got the house because there was some damage from the last forest fire. The people foreclosed on it before it was even in the middle of that. So I got it at a steal because no one wanted to deal with it. I didn’t mind doing the rebuilding because I liked the place and the views. But it’s a little too big for me. I probably should just sell it and get something smaller. But I can’t quite say goodbye to it.”

  Abby shook her head as she started melting some chocolate and peppermint bark right into a pan and pulled out the milk. He’d never seen someone actually make hot cocoa that way outside of a movie. His stomach rumbled, and he knew he would have to eat something when he got home.

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll make it your place. Or you’ll sell it if you find that you want to. Or maybe you can rent it out to a family that needs it.”

  “Maybe. I just don’t know yet. But the house works for me.”

  Abby poured out their hot cocoas and handed him a mug.

  He could scent the peppermint and chocolate, and he licked his lips in anticipation. But he didn’t take a sip, knowing it would be too hot. “When my parents passed, they left me some money, and I didn’t want to just look at it and not have anything to show for what they worked so hard for. I used most of it for investments, but when I saw this place, I had to have it. I donated a lot of the money, but the house? The house is mine, I guess.”

  “I’m sorry about your parents.”

  Abby reached out and gripped his arm, giving it a squeeze. He looked down at where she touched him, wondering what it meant. Wondering why he wanted that touch so much. He knew he should leave, knew he’d already overstayed his welcome. But he couldn’t go. Not yet.

  “They passed a few years ago. The big house may seem like a waste, but it spoke to me. And even though I need to do better about making sure it feels like a home, I think your place is giving me ideas.”

  She smiled. “Really? It’s a two bedroom, but it feels like a one and a half bedroom. Julia has the little half-bedroom that I think used to be an office for someone. I don’t know why they made a house this small in this neighborhood, but I think they wanted a little bit of everybody here. Which is good in the long run, but they didn’t really think the layout of the house through well. I don’t mind it. It’s a good starter home for us. Once the business has been up and running for a couple more years, and I feel a little more stable and in the black, I think we’ll move. Julia’s going to need some space. She’s so tiny right now, it’s okay, but soon, we’re going to be walking all over each other.”

  “Maybe, but the place still suits you guys pretty well right now.”

  “Thank you. I love it.” They both took sips of their hot chocolates, and he had to hold back an audible moan. He did close his eyes though, and when she let out a soft laugh, he had a feeling she knew exactly what he was thinking.

  Well, maybe not exactly since he was thinking about more than the cocoa. He was imagining kissing those lips of hers.

  And that’s when he knew he had to go.

  “This tastes amazing. Thank you.”

  “Thank you for being there. And thank you for staying. And just…for staying. I know I probably could have handled it on my own, but I’m learning to lean on others, an
d maybe realizing I don’t have to handle everything myself.”

  They continued drinking their hot cocoa in the kitchen, not even sitting down. He had a feeling if he planned to stay longer, they would have moved into her small living room to talk. But standing in the kitchen felt safer. Safer from what, he didn’t know, but just…safer.

  He put his empty mug in the sink, filling it up with water to soak. Abby had said she would wash it herself since they weren’t dishwasher safe. He didn’t understand why things weren’t dishwasher safe, but then again, he wasn’t going to question it. He’d just had the best peppermint hot cocoa of his life, and with a beautiful woman at that.

  He couldn’t really complain.

  Abby walked him out after explaining to him that she was going to call the Montgomerys and ask for a ride in the morning. It was probably for the best. He didn’t work the morning shift, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to help out.

  But he would have if she’d asked.

  And that worried him.

  Because he already knew that he wanted to get to know Abby better. And that wasn’t good for anyone.

  Especially her.

  “Thank you for being there, Ryan,” she whispered, looking up at him with those big eyes of hers.

  He nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t reach out and touch her. “I’d say anytime, but I don’t really mean anytime.”

  She smiled again, and he said goodbye, knowing that things would get awkward if he stayed any longer.

  By the time he got home, he was exhausted and starving. He could heat up some leftovers from the fridge but knew he should probably cook something since he wanted those leftovers for lunch the next day. He was way too tired for that, though.

  He had to work with a few clients at Montgomery Ink Too tomorrow, but then he needed to go to his old shop and try to get his final paycheck. The damn manager hadn’t paid him for the last two months he worked there. And it sucked. That was the reason Ryan had quit—well, one of the many reasons. The fact that he got to work with some of the best artists in the country at Montgomery Ink Too now was something big. But the whole non-payment thing with his old boss, even when he had money now, really pissed him the fuck off.

 

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