She Died Too Young
Page 11
Chelsea reached for Jillian’s hand anyway. “Hey, Jillian. It’s me, Chelsea. I came to … to let you know … I miss you.” Chelsea was forced to pause because of a thick clog of tears wedged in her throat. “Katie’s here too. We want to remind you how much you mean to us, now and forever.”
The beep of monitors and the hum of machinery were the only sounds in the room.
“We should return to your room,” the nurse said gently.
Panic seized Chelsea. “I don’t want to go back yet.” She knew instinctively that this would be the last time she saw Jillian alive, and she couldn’t leave her, didn’t want to leave her.
“Please, Chelsea—” the nurse said.
“You can’t make me leave.” Of course, it was an idle retort. She was still weak and didn’t even have the strength to pull herself out of the wheelchair.
Katie crouched down and took Chelsea’s hand once more. “Listen to her. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way.”
Chelsea allowed herself one long, lingering look at Jillian and began to cry. The nurse pulled the wheelchair backward, and Katie walked next to it, her hand resting on Chelsea’s shoulder.
“Thank you for coming,” Jillian’s mother whispered. “Thank you for caring.”
Mr. Longado echoed her words. DJ said nothing.
Once she was safely in her room, Chelsea lost her composure and sobbed uncontrollably. Katie hugged her. Chelsea looked up through her tears and said, “This new heart they gave me is breaking, Katie. It’s breaking in half.”
The following day, late in the afternoon, when Katie came into Chelsea’s room, Chelsea didn’t have to hear the words—she saw from Katie’s face that Jillian was gone. “When?” Chelsea asked.
“About half an hour ago. They told me her heart just gave out. Her family was with her.”
“What happens now?” Chelsea asked.
“They’re flying her back to Texas.”
“Everybody goes home one way or the other, don’t they? Amanda went home too.”
Katie stood close to the bed, tears brimming in her eyes. “ ‘She died too young,’ ” she whispered. “That was something Mr. Holloway said to me about Jenny Crawford,” she explained. “We were standing in the lobby at Jenny House last summer, looking at her portrait together, and his voice was full of pain and love. He said, ‘She died too young.’ I think he loved her when they were both young. I think he still loves the memory of Jenny Crawford.”
Chelsea nodded. “Too bad love can’t hold off death.”
“I’ve always thought love was stronger than death,” Katie said.
Chelsea turned her face toward the wall and said nothing more.
Katie picked up the phone and dialed Lacey’s number in Miami.
Twenty
“CHELSEA, I’M CONCERNED about you.” Dr. Dawson stood at the foot of Chelsea’s bed, wearing his most serious expression. “If you don’t start eating, if you don’t start improving mentally, I won’t be able to release you. Don’t you want to get out of here?”
Chelsea all but ignored him. She didn’t care. She simply didn’t care.
“Some depression is normal after transplantation, but this isn’t. I want you to talk to Dr. Cummings.”
Dr. Cummings was the head shrink. She and Jillian had been part of her therapy group when they entered the transplant program together. “I don’t want to talk to anybody,” Chelsea said. “Please go away.”
“You’ve been given an extraordinary opportunity,” Dr. Dawson continued. “And you’re doing so well tolerating your new heart. Don’t give up now.”
A cold sweat broke out on Chelsea’s forehead. Fear seized her, and for a moment, she couldn’t catch her breath. Her heart pounded, and she was certain it would beat itself to death. “I hate this crummy heart,” she told him. “I feel exactly the way I did before—with my old heart. There’s no difference. I’m going to die, and this heart will have gone to waste. You should have given it to somebody else. Somebody who would have taken better care of it.”
Dr. Dawson studied her thoughtfully. “It isn’t good for you to feel this way, Chelsea. It won’t contribute to your healing process. You’re alive and well, and I want to see you stay that way. Dr. Cummings will be in to talk to you tomorrow.”
She continued to ignore Dr. Dawson, but when he left, she felt alone and desolate. What’s wrong with me? She couldn’t answer her own question. Why were all the old fears, the old symptoms of fear, paralyzing her, keeping her from working with her doctor, her physical therapist. Not even Katie could cheer her up.
A nurse breezed into the room. Trailing behind her was a man carrying a VCR. “This came for you today,” the nurse said, waving a videotape. “The letter accompanying it said it was to be shown to you immediately. Dr. Dawson’s okayed it, so let’s set this up for you.”
“Where’d it come from?”
“The post office,” the nurse said with a smile. In a matter of minutes, the VCR was hooked to the TV in her room, and the tape had been inserted. The nurse brought over the remote control.
When she was alone, Chelsea sighed. She didn’t want to watch some stupid tape. Why couldn’t everyone just leave her alone? After she’d stared at the blank screen for a time, curiosity began to get the best of her. With resignation, she pushed the Play button.
“Hey and howdy.” Jillian’s face sprang onto the screen.
Chelsea gasped and dropped the remote control. She fumbled around on the bed for it as Jillian’s voice came clearly into the room. “I was going to write you a letter, but you know we like to do things BIG in Texas. Besides, I’ve always wanted to film myself. Dramatic, huh?” She mugged for the camera.
Fascinated, Chelsea continued to watch. Jillian was sitting up in her bed at the penthouse, telling Chelsea that she had taped the message weeks before. Sunlight was coming from one side, lighting up Jillian’s hair, turning it to copper fire.
“So, you’re probably asking yourself why I am doing this instead of talking to you in person. Good question. It’s because I feel pretty good today. Also, I’ve got lots to say. Besides, you’re a captive audience, and you can’t talk back!”
She grinned, and Chelsea found herself smiling in return at the TV screen.
“This is really for your eyes only, Chelsea James. You can show it to Katie and Lacey if you want, but I’ve got some things to say, mostly just for you.” Jillian’s bright smile faded. “On the serious side: I’m tired of sitting around and waiting for this transplant. But I’m also scared it won’t happen for me. If it happens for you, and it doesn’t happen for me, then I need to let you know some things. Plus leave you some instructions.”
Chelsea swallowed hard. It was weird watching and hearing Jillian. More real than any VR game she’d ever played. She’s dead, logic reminded her. This is only an image.
“You know you’re my best friend ever. Too bad we met the way we did, too bad we need the same thing from medical science. But if you get a transplant and I don’t, then I expect you to do something with your life. Grow old, for starts.”
Again the quick smile.
“But mostly, I want you to keep in touch with DJ. Now, I know what you’re thinking. I’m taking advantage because I know you like him. Well, I’m not. I’d ask you even if you didn’t think he was the neatest thing since sliced bread.” She leaned forward. “I’ll never understand how he got the blond hair and good looks and I got red hair, freckles, and a bad heart and lungs. Go figure.”
Chelsea found herself smiling again.
“You’re probably thinking, ‘So why does a prince like DJ need looking after?’ For starters, he’s not going to take to my dying and leaving him behind. He acts tough, but underneath, he’s a marshmallow. I can’t go off and leave him alone with Shelby. Nope, can’t let that happen.
“Also, Mama and Daddy have each other to look after. But DJ … well, he’s only got me, and I may not make it.”
Chelsea felt a shiver. How uncannily accurate Jillian had been abou
t her future.
“So, where does that leave you, Chelsea James? I hope it leaves you smiling and happy. I hope it leaves you with a brand-new heart and a whole new outlook on life.” On-screen, Jillian stared directly at the camera, held up her finger, and shook it as if Chelsea’s nose were in front of her. “I mean this! Forget your virtual reality games. Go after the real thing.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be up in heaven, remember?” She pointed her finger upward. “And when I get there, I’m going to look up Amanda and Jenny Crawford, and see if we can’t think up some mischief together.”
Her bright smile flashed, then faded. She leaned forward, as if imparting a secret. “I never figured I’d get old, Chelsea. But I would like to have gone falling off a cliff or being bucked off a horse. If you get a transplant, you have to do everything for both of us. It’s your sacred duty. And don’t forget, I’ll be up there”—she pointed again—“watching you.”
Chelsea pushed the Pause button on the remote control when it was obvious that Jillian was through talking. The picture of Jillian’s face froze on the screen. It was blurry, as photos stopped in motion are, but it was her—red hair, freckles, smile, and all.
Slowly, Chelsea climbed out of bed and shuffled over to the TV set. She stood in front of the screen, staring long at the image of her friend. Her fingers touched the cool glass, and she traced the lines of Jillian’s face. “Live,” her friend had said.
Chelsea placed her hand on her own chest. Her fingers felt the thumping rhythm of her heart—a gift from a stranger. The beat said. Life. It was hers. A second chance. She knew she shouldn’t blow it. For Jillian’s sake. For her own.
Chelsea rewound the tape and removed it from the VCR. She glanced at a clock and saw that her session with her physical therapist would soon begin. She still had a long way to go to be as healthy and active as Katie. She felt a surge of resolve. Yes, a lot of work to do.
She was grateful and ready to live. And she was no longer afraid.
Dear Reader,
For those of you who have been longtime readers, I hope you have enjoyed this One Last Wish volume. For those of you discovering One Last Wish for the first time, I hope you will want to read the other books that are listed in detail in the next few pages. From Lacey to Katie to Morgan and the rest, you’ll discover the lives of the characters I hope you’ve come to care about just as I have.
Since the series began, I have received numerous letters from teens wishing to volunteer at Jenny House. That is not possible because Jenny House exists only in my imagination, but there are many fine organizations and camps for sick kids that would welcome volunteers. If you are interested in becoming such a volunteer, contact your local hospitals about their volunteer programs or try calling service organizations in your area to find out how you can help. Your own school might have a list of community service programs.
Extending yourself is one of the best ways of expanding your world … and of enlarging your heart. Turning good intentions into actions is consistently one of the most rewarding experiences in life. My wish is that the ideals of Jenny House will be carried on by you, my reader. I hope that now that we share the Jenny House attitude, you will believe as I do that the end is often only the beginning.
Thank you for caring.
YOU’LL WANT TO READ ALL THE ONE LAST WISH
BOOKS BY BESTSELLING AUTHOR
Let Him Live
Someone Dies, Someone Lives
Mother, Help Me Live
A Time to Die
Sixteen and Dying
Mourning Song
The Legacy: Making Wishes Come True
Please Don’t Die
She Died Too Young
All the Days of Her Life
A Season for Goodbye
Reach for Tomorrow
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT MEGAN,
BE SURE TO READ
ON SALE NOW FROM BANTAM BOOKS
0-553-56067-0
Excerpt from Let Him Live by Lurlene McDaniel
Copyright © 1993 by Lurlene McDaniel
Published by Bantam Doubleday Dell Books for Young Readers
a division of Random House, Inc.
1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036
All rights reserved
Being a candy striper isn’t Megan Charnell’s idea of an exciting summer, but she volunteered and can’t get out of it. Megan has her own problems to deal with. Still, when she meets Donovan Jacoby, she find herself getting involved in his life.
Donovan shares with Megan his secret: An anonymous benefactor has granted him one last wish, and he needs Megan’s help. The money can’t buy a compatible transplant, but it can allow Donovan to give his mother and little brother something he feels he owes them. Can Megan help make his dream come true?
“When I first got sick in high school, kids were pretty sympathetic, but the sicker I got and the more school I missed, the harder it was to keep up with the old crowd,” Donovan explained. “Some of them tried to understand what I was going through, but unless you’ve been really sick …” He didn’t finish the sentence.
“I’ve never been sick,” Meg said, “but I really do know what you’re talking about.”
He tipped his head and looked into her eyes. “I believe you do.”
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT
KATIE AND JOSH, BE SURE TO READ
ON SALE NOW FROM BANTAM BOOKS
0-553-29842-9
Excerpt from Someone Dies, Someone Lives by Lurlene McDanid
Copyright © 1992 by Lurlene McDanid
Published by Bantam Doubleday Dell Books for Young Readers
a division of Random House, Inc.
1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036
All rights reserved
Katie O’Roark feels miserable, though she knows she’s incredibly lucky to have received an anonymous gift of money. The money can’t buy the new heart she needs or bring back her days as a track star.
A donor is found with a compatible heart, and Katie undergoes transplant surgery. While recuperating, she meets Josh Martel and senses an immediate connection. When Katie decides to start training to realize her dream of running again, Josh helps her meet the difficult challenge.
Will Katie find the strength physically and emotionally to live and become a winner again?
From the corner of her eye, Katie saw a boy with red hair who was about her age. He stood near the doorway, looking nervous. With a start, she realized he was watching her because he kept averting his gaze when she glanced his way. Odd, Katie told herself. Katie had a nagging sense she couldn’t place him. As nonchalantly as possible, she rolled her wheelchair closer, picking up a magazine as she passed a table.
She flipped through the magazine, pretending to be interested, all the while glancing discreetly toward the boy. Even though he also picked up a magazine, Katie could tell that he was preoccupied with studying her. Suddenly, she grew self-conscious. Was something wrong with the way she looked? She’d thought she looked better than she had in months when she’d left her hospital room that afternoon. Why was he watching her?
Katie is also featured in the novels Please Don’t Die, She Died Too Young, and A Season for Goodbye.
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT SARAH,
BE SURE TO READ
ON SALE NOW FROM BANTAM BOOKS
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Excerpt from Mother, Help Me Live by Lurlene McDaniel
Copyright © 1992 by Lurlene McDaniel
Published by Bantam Doubleday Dell Books for Young Readers
a division of Random House, Inc.
1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036
All rights reserved
Sarah McGreggor is distraught when she learns she will need a bone marrow transplant to live. And she is shocked to find out that her parents and siblings can’t be donors because they aren’t her blood relatives. Sarah never knew she was adopted.
As Sarah faces this devastating n
ews, she is granted one last wish by an anonymous benefactor. With hope in her heart, she begins a search for her birth mother, who gave her up fifteen years ago. Sarah’s life depends on her finding this woman. But what will Sarah discover about the true meaning of family?
Didn’t the letter from JWC say she could spend it on anything she wanted? What could he more important than finding her birth mother? What could be more important than discovering if she had siblings with compatible bone marrow? Her very life could depend on finding these people. Sarah practically jumped up from the sofa. “I’ve got to go,” she said.
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ERIC,
BE SURE TO READ
ON SALE NOW FROM BANTAM BOOKS
0-553-29809-7
Excerpt from A Time to Die by Lurlene McDaniel
Copyright © 1992 by Lurlene McDaniel
Published by Bantam Doubleday Dell Books for Young Readers
a division of Random House, Inc.
1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036
All rights reserved
Sixteen-year-old Kara Fischer has never considered herself lucky. She doesn’t understand why she was born with cystic fibrosis. Despite her daily treatments, each day poses the threat of a lung infection that could put her in the hospital for weeks. But her close friendship with her fellow CF patient Vince and the new feelings she is quickly developing for Eric give her the hope to live one day at a time.
When an anonymous benefactor promises to grant a single wish with no strings attached, Kara finds a way to let the people who have loved and supported her throughout her illness know how much they mean to her. But will there be time for Kara to see her dying wish fulfilled?