by Cari Quinn
“No. It shouldn’t.” Cooper’s voice was flat and hard.
“Are you sure you weren’t with anyone else? Tried something?” I asked hopefully, even though I knew the answer. Zane was a straighter arrow than anyone I knew. I was pretty sure he’d maybe done some pot here and there. Anything more than that was a definite no.
Zane shook his head. “I was just sitting with what was left of the band. Jamie dared me to down the shark drink. I’m pretty sure the fin was a gummy of some sort.”
“Was it a special gummy?” I said around a gulp.
Please don’t make it anything worse. Oh, please.
“Pretty sure the whole drink was far more special than any of us knew.” Misery soaked Zane’s voice. “After that, it’s absolutely black.”
“I ate a gummy off the rim,” I recalled. “It didn’t taste funny. But I didn’t try the drink.”
“Wish I could say the same.”
I reached into the back and took my phone, and then opened my browser. I typed in Zane’s name and got over twenty hits.
Zane partying at Purgatory. Jamie laughing as he got onto the table. There were dozens of pictures from the club then there seemed to be a break in time.
Jamie seemed to have gotten in her usual brand of trouble. Was that a conga line?
“Do you remember this?” I handed Zane my phone.
“Uh, definitely not. Did I get on a table?”
I sighed. “Pretty sure there’s video.”
Cooper stopped at a red light and bounced his forehead on the steering wheel.
“What was I doing in Times Square?” Zane’s voice went shrill and high. “I hate Times Square.”
Cooper’s jaw was locked, and his knuckles were white on the steering wheel.
“This is why you didn’t want to tell me? What exactly would this accomplish?”
“You wouldn’t be a sickly grayish-white right now, that’s what.”
I lifted my chin. “You can’t shield me from being scared.”
“Yes, I fucking can.”
“No, you can’t. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” I was pretty sure I was going to puke, but I could handle it after that. Probably.
My fingers shook enough that I fisted them and tucked them under my crossed arms.
“We don’t know anything for sure, but do you know anything else other than drugs that would make him black out and steal a freaking car?”
“What?” I twisted around to stare at Zane. “You stole the car?”
My stomach pitched. Maybe that puking thing wasn’t that far off.
All this was so out of character for him. For God’s sake, I wasn’t sure if he’d even ever lifted a bottle of water from a hotel room.
“I guess?”
“Oh my God. You don’t know?”
“What part of blackout aren’t you getting?” Cooper snapped.
“Don’t yell at me!”
“Don’t ask stupid questions.”
“Pull the fuck over, and let me out.”
“Are you crazy?”
“I don’t know. Am I stupid and crazy now?”
He stepped on the accelerator and got on the highway. “No. You know I don’t think that.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “Could have fooled me.”
“More like I’m imagining it was you, dammit.”
And the waterworks flooded my eyes. I hated that crying was my default when everything got overwhelming. I wanted to stuff it down. Wanted to be able to control it all and be calm about this.
I was fine. But it could have been so much worse.
Could have been me.
I turned to stare out the passenger window as I brushed away tears.
“Ah, hell.” Cooper reached across to brush his fingers over my cheek.
I batted his hand away. “Don’t.”
No one spoke, and with each mile, the air got heavier with unease. Were they thinking like me? The whirl of what might have beens, and what still could be?
Zane still had my phone and was searching for details about his wild night. At least I hoped he was still searching. I was pretty sure there weren’t any incriminating photos on my phone.
Incriminating photos. God, that was even worse. Could Priscilla have meant to get some on me, for blackmail? Or even worse? Why would she want to do that to me?
It just didn’t make sense.
“Do you really think she meant it for me?” I asked quietly.
Before anyone could answer, my phone rang.
“Lila.” Zane’s voice was flat as he lifted the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
My stomach pitched again. She had to know. Why was she calling me?
Zane paused as if he was listening, then he cleared his throat. “Right. I’ll put you on speaker.”
“Mr. Dallas, Miss Daly, I wish I could say it was a pleasure to speak with you, but this, in a word, is a clusterfuck. Do you realize what is on the news outlets about Mr. Landry?”
I really hated when she used formal names. It was worse than when my mother used my middle name.
“We’re piecing it together as we go, Lila.” Cooper’s tone was steady and calm. He took my hand and laced our fingers together.
I wanted to pull away. I was pissed at him, but the need for comfort overrode my anger. For now.
“I would like an explanation about why I didn’t receive a phone call about you being arrested, Mr. Landry.”
Zane swallowed audibly. “I didn’t want to bother you. I know you just flew back home last night.”
“That sounds suspiciously like an excuse.” Lila’s voice crackled with ice over the line.
Zane sent me a panicked glance.
“I don’t think he was thinking clearly, Lila.” Surprised at what had come out of my mouth, I blundered on. “He didn’t have any of his belongings and called the number he knew off the top of his head.”
“And why would that prevent Mr. Dallas from contacting me? Or you, for that matter since you two are…together.”
Throw Cooper under the bus, or not—that was the question.
“It’s my fault,” Cooper answered.
“No, it’s not his fault. Completely. We didn’t know what was going on.” Mostly. Pretty close to the truth.
“It was my second call. I panicked.” Unhappiness laced Zane’s words. “I was fuzzy on all the details. I woke up without my phone or my ID. It was a mess.”
“And that’s for me to handle, not Mr. Dallas. Or whomever you called first.”
“Oz.”
Lila waited a beat. I was pretty sure she was trying to shove down her anger. That was Lila. Emotions didn’t enter into anything when it came to doing her job. I could probably count on one hand how many times I’d seen her get emotional about anything regarding work—or us, for that matter.
And lately, we were a pain in the ass. All of us.
“Osmond?”
“I know it sounds bad,” Zane explained. “But he’s been arrested before. I just figured he would know what to do.”
“In the future, Osmond is not the first person you should call.”
Zane leaned forward and put the phone between the front seats. “There will be no second time.”
“That would be correct, because now all of you will have 24/7 bodyguards. No exceptions. I tried to be benevolent last night and let you all have unencumbered fun, despite my earlier directive, but that’s finished. For your own good,” she added.
Cooper gripped the steering wheel so hard I wondered if he’d pull it off. “I can take care of myself.”
“I’m aware of your training, Mr. Dallas. However, you are an asset to Ripper Records, and we need a little more assurance. Mr. Riggs will be at your place when you return. He’ll cover you and Miss Daly until the band leaves for Philadelphia. Mr. Landry, your detail will be at your house. I’m assuming you’ll be dropped home.”
“Yes, I’m bringing him home.” Cooper squeezed my hand once then put both his hands on the wheel. �
��There’s one more thing. Two, actually.”
“Yes?”
“First of all, we’re heading to the brownstone to check out the damage and see if we can collect some of Teagan’s personal items.”
“Understood. I’ll send Mr. Riggs to her address instead.”
“Thanks. And the second.” His muscles bunched with tension. I reached out to lay my hand on his rock-hard arm. His nostrils flared with that visceral reaction that seemed to always happen when we touched, but the lines bracketing his mouth eased a little into a half smile. “We’re pretty sure this isn’t simply a stupid drunken night.”
“Hey.”
Cooper shot a look over his shoulder at Zane. “Sorry, buddy.”
“Go on.” Lila’s voice went past frigid to arctic.
“Zane just had one drink last night—other than one, maybe two beers. And I’m sorry, even a lightweight would require more than that to get into the kind of trouble Zane did.”
“I see. It did seem quite out of character for Mr. Landry.”
“Agreed. It seems very suspect.” Cooper glanced at me and shook his head when I opened my mouth.
“I’ll investigate this further. I’ll be in touch.”
Zane looked down at the phone. “Pretty sure she hung up.” He handed me back my phone.
I turned in my seat and leaned against the door. “Why didn’t you tell her about Priscilla?”
The steering wheel squeaked under the pressure of his grip. “I’m hoping I’m wrong, but I also think we should see what she can come up with without our very unsubstantiated detective skills.”
I nibbled on the corner of my thumb. “Do you really think we’re wrong?”
He turned his head and met my gaze. “No.”
I fought down a shiver and shifted to stare out the window. The threat against Ripper Records had suddenly become very personal.
Who would want to hurt us?
Or worse…me?
Thirteen
I resisted the urge to drive immediately to the car wash after we dropped Zane off. I just hopped his stench didn’t sink into the leather for life. I really loved this car and didn’t want to get rid of it because of Zane’s funk.
However, we were headed to another shitstorm, so a full detail wasn’t quite worth it.
We’d dropped Zane at his waterfront barge. Only Zane would buy up three slips and make a floating house. The dude was obsessed with water.
By some miracle, there hadn’t been a pack of reporters or paps waiting for us at his boat. Then again, Zane wasn’t exactly the biggest social media maven. His place was one of the few in our band that didn’t have fans camping out on the sidewalks or lawns.
Or in his case…a boat.
His bodyguard had been waiting for him. And that was one thing off my list to worry about.
Teagan still hadn’t said much, but I didn’t need specialized training to know she was twisted up. A lot of details had been thrown at her in a short amount of time. The most important one was that shit could have been so much worse.
My head pounded at the thought that she could have been the one to be helpless and out of control in the middle of this crazy city. That anyone could have taken advantage of her.
That I could have lost her.
The what ifs had been clanging in my head since our phone call with Lila. I wished I could call it just Zane’s brand of idiocy, but Oz was more likely to binge into destruction than our guitarist. Zane was the one we went to because he had such a calming influence on us.
Now he had a hole in his memory, and our only clues were sensationalized videos.
Yeah, maybe I wasn’t quite done with worrying yet. Not about him or about Teagan.
Even after a shower, my skin was still charged with her scent, and I swore I could feel all the little nail marks embedded in my neck and back. She didn’t hold back, and while she was sweet as candy to the world, for me, she was equally light and dark. The uncertainty of her spot in our band mixed with the pulsing life swirling in her made for such an interesting juxtaposition.
She was so talented, so joyous behind the keys. Her spirit was the soul of the band. Her happiness infused the rest of us with that same excitement. On nights when things went wrong, she was the first to jump in and help with extra piano parts to fill holes, or to banter with Oz to yank him out of the black moods that came upon him so easily. She even had a way with the mercurial Jamie.
And me…
She was my everything. I’d never been the guy to empathize and connect with people beyond a surface level. It was just easier. The last time I’d let anyone that close, I’d watched him die right in front of me, and I hadn’t been able to do a damn thing.
It had nearly ended me.
Only music had saved me. Jamie, of all people, had found me in a bar in West Hollywood. I’d been banging around the country after leaving the Rangers. Shitbox hostels and backbreaking construction jobs had kept me from losing my mind.
When one place got too familiar or too comfortable, I lit out for another. New Zealand, Germany, Italy, Scotland. Anything that didn’t remind me of home. I’d finally landed in Los Angeles when I couldn’t stand the vagabond life any longer.
When I couldn’t resist my mom and sister’s pleas to come home.
I’d flown into LAX and figured I’d thumb my way back to my mom’s homestead in Montana. I didn’t think I’d truly headed for healing until I’d gotten those drumsticks back in my hands. I’d played on and off all my life, but my course had been laid out long ago.
I was Wrecker Dallas’s kid. The Rangers had been his life and was supposed to be mine too. I didn’t even think about fighting it. Not until Benny. Until he’d died needlessly in my arms.
I hadn’t exactly been unhappy with the Rangers. It was a tight brotherhood, and I’d loved my unit. Hell, I’d even lost other friends in missions.
But Benny was different.
We’d come up from basic together. We’d trained together. When I was dragging and ready to quit, he’d convinced me to keep going. When he’d gotten married, I’d stood with him. And when he’d gotten divorced, I’d been the one to return the favor and get him motivated again.
I’d never had a brother until Benny.
Living in the land of estrogen with my mom and sister had made me a gentleman. The Rangers had taught me about life and the ugliness out there that we had to fight against. Until one too many of our missions had been politically fueled. Instead of fighting for our country it felt more like we were being used as a hammer.
Benny had been my only true tie to that life, and without him, the disillusionment had become a black hole of hatred and destructiveness. I’d had to get out, or I might’ve been the next body riddled with bullets. And I couldn’t do that to my mom.
My dad had died for his cause, but it wasn’t mine. And my recklessness wasn’t good for anyone, least of all my unit.
Noah didn’t understand that. He’d just considered me a deserter like more than half the unit had. I’d made peace with my decision, and while I would never accept the senseless death of my best friend, I could live my life honestly like Benny had. It was the only way I could honor him.
I hadn’t known when I walked into Club V in West Hollywood that my life would change. That a drunken brawl in the grimy dive would hand me those sticks again. The drummer in the crappy band had vaulted into the crowd and started a riot. By the end of it, he’d been hauled off.
The band—This Left Feels Right—had appealed to the crowd for help, and I’d had just enough beer to raise my hand and say that I could play.
I’d felt alive for the first time since Benny.
And by some twist of fate, Jamie had been in the crowd. She’d found me after the set. While not my finest hour as a drummer, she’d seen something in me.
Back then, Brooklyn Dawn couldn’t seem to keep a drummer. Whether it was typical male sexism at not wanting to play in a female-led band or fate, I couldn’t say. But it was as i
f they’d been waiting for me.
I glanced at Teagan, who was curled toward the car window. That same feeling had come over me the day she’d joined the band. A sense of rightness and fate stepping in. I’d found a best friend again, and God help me, I hoped for so much more.
I turned down her street. It was still blocked off from a few houses down. I spotted a sleek black BMW just outside her house. Typical wheels for the Roth people. Before we ended up with our babysitter, I needed to pull Teagan away from the edge.
I quickly parallel-parked in a spot a few yards away from the taped off area. Teagan was still staring out the window, making no move to unbuckle. I quietly unhooked my own and slid my fingers into her hair. “Teagan?”
“Hmm?” She turned to me with a frown then sat up. “We’re here?”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry. I spaced out. So much to think about.” She stared through the front windshield and shivered. “I’m afraid to go in. How much will be ruined?” She closed her eyes and my gut clenched as a tear squeezed out and slipped down her pale cheek.
“Aww, babe.”
Another tear rolled. “This was supposed to be my safe place. Even with all the crap I went through with Pat, this was still my place, you know?”
“A little fire damage doesn’t change that. Especially with this beast of a brick building. It’s not one of those prefab homes, Teag. It’s built Brooklyn strong, just like you.”
She lifted a hand to my cheek. “I’m supposed to be mad at you.”
I covered it, rubbing my thumb along hers then moved in. “You can be mad at me later.”
I watched those cinnamon lashes flutter down just before she melted into me. She tasted of every dream I’d ever had. I sipped from her lightly. The urge to crush her close was overwhelming, but she needed softness from me right now.
I didn’t think I had softness inside me anymore, but for her, it always multiplied under the foundation of friendship and that deeper emotion I had never wanted to name. Never had imagined I’d get to know with this woman.
I tipped her head up and couldn’t help myself from seeking out just a little more.