Premonition

by Lisa M. James

  Oh Isaac. He said grimly. This was foolish. Titus’ staff struck me hard across the face as I felt his fingers latch on to a fist full of my hair as he dragged me back down the path I came. I fought as best I could, digging my fingers into the man’s arm to no avail. Titus dragged me all the way to the main hall where I received my first judgement. He threw me slightly forward, finally releasing the grip he had on my hair. I looked up and saw I was facing the Chief and his guard Sebastian.

  Titus spoke to them in their own tongue, but in the year I had been here I understood enough that Titus was telling them, He ran.

  “Our victor.” Sebastian said dryly as Titus yanked me to my knees.

  The Chief said nothing for a long moment. He stared at me in a way so similar to his daughter. The same unnerving stare that made me squirm in my skin. My thoughts raced on what they were determining in me. It was over. I had made Kiatra proud in one moment and in the next I had forfeited everything I had gained this year.

  “Summon Kiatra.” The Chief said simply. No one said anything else. I looked toward the floor not wishing to face them. What would happen now? I had not gotten through enough written accounts to know what happened to a slave who tried to escape. My last attempted escape was private. Only Kiatra was aware of it and she had made no public display of it, that I had known. Would I be ripped from Kiatra’s hands? Would I be sent to the slave house? Would I be given to a cruel master?

  “What happened?” My head shot up as Kiatra and her guards walked in and stood by her father. I had not heard her footsteps approach.

  “Mistress—” I started before Titus’s staff came sharply across my head.

  “Don’t Speak.” He hissed to me before addressing Kiatra. “I am sorry, my lady. He failed.”

  Failed? A weight pushed down on me as I realized the meaning of his words. Failed. It was another test. They wanted me to see the unguarded path. They wanted me to be tempted by it. It was a test of my loyalty. A test if I could be trusted. And I had failed. So shortly after one victory, I had failed. Worse, I had shamed Kiatra. I willed my head to raise and meet her eyes, but I could not decipher what she was thinking. She took a single step toward me.

  “Strip him.” She commanded.

  “What—” Titus’ hand went behind my head forcing my face to the marbled floor. My vest and trousers were ripped from my body. Someone braced my legs as Titus held my arms.

  “My lady allow me—” Titus started.

  “No. I want Sebastian to do it.” Kiatra spoke evenly.

  “As you wish.” Sebastian drawled as I heard the crack of a whip hit the floor.

  “No!” I called out at the realization of what was to happen. I rose my head as much as I could manage, seeing the whip in Sebastian’s hand as he walked behind my line of vision. Kiatra sat by her father’s side and looked down at me. “I am sorry! I am sorry!” I cried helplessly to her as Titus’ voice whispered in my ear.

  “Stay very still.” He warned with slight trepidation in his voice.

  “Please, mistress, forgive me—” I started in desperation before the words were replaced with a cry of pain as the whip went down hard on my back. I had never felt such an intensity before. All my senses scrambled into a dull haze. I cried out again as the second, and the third hit lashed my back. I buried my face into the cold floor, hoping I could brace the pain as the fourth lash struck me, then the fifth and the sixth. Finally, I could control my weeping no more as I felt the seventh, then the eighth, the ninth and the tenth hit. Stinging tears fell from my eyes and a sound like a dying animal gurgled from my mouth. By the time the eleventh lash hit my back I was losing my grip on the present. As the twelfth came down, I submitted into the darkness.

  Chapter 14

  My eyes fluttered open. I was lying on my stomach, my head facing a wall. A few candles penetrated the darkened chambers. My head pounded and my face felt stiff from dry tears. Uncontrollably my body gave a moan. Fingers ran gently down my back in response.

  “Do not try to move.” A voice spoke quietly. “You’ve taken fifty lashes to your back. The sentence for a runaway slave in my service is 100, but my father took pity on you.” Her voice softened almost to a whisper. “Or perhaps he took pity on me knowing I found no joy in you receiving such a punishment.” She cleared her throat slightly before speaking again. “The salve will allow you to heal quicker, but it will be painful for many days. Scars will surely remain. Let it serve as a reminder to you and to any other slave who tries to escape.” I tightened my eyes shut again. As if I wasn’t humiliated enough, Kiatra now tended to my wounds. I breathed heavily and groaned in pain as she ran a hand down my wounded back.

  “We haven’t had cause to whip a slave in five years. The last offense was stealing. My father commanded he receive ten lashes. The severer punishments are reserved for slaves and servants in the ownership of my father and me alone and we’ve had no cause for concern until now.”

  I didn’t turn my head toward her. The pain in doing so would be too much, but more so I didn’t wish to see her face. She said nothing for a moment, gently rubbing the cool salve into my wounds, before speaking again. “I need you to understand me, Isaac. You are not a victim. Nor are you my captive. You were given to me in a trade. Your life in exchange for your 17 comrades. My father wished to kill you all. He wanted to squash the seeds of rebellion within you and send a message to all the villages in our province on what happens to those who rise up against us. I am the one who spoke on behalf of your people. It would have been generous for me to suggest he keep you all as slaves, yet I asked for one slave. I told him that it would be greater torture for your people if they had to choose for one to remain. For them to live with the guilt of what they had done. To live knowing that they had abandoned one of their own to an unknown fate.” She let the words settle before speaking again. “Little did I know that your people would be so eager to leave you behind.” I wished to block out the truth of her words, but she dug her fingers slightly into my wounds, forcing a yelp of pain from my mouth. “Listen to me.” Kiatra said firmly. “How many times have those men come to try to rescue you since you have been with me?” She waited but I had no answer for her. “None. I commanded that the perimeter of the Fortress be heavily guarded since you’ve been here. I feared your people would attempt to do something foolish again in order to free you. Yet, every day since you have been with me my guards have reported that the perimeter has been clear. No one from your village has been near here since you were taken. No one has tried to come and save you although they had no knowledge what your fate would be here. For all they knew you were abused, raped and tortured day after day and yet they made no attempt in one year to try to free you. Not even to try to offer us a gift to appease our wrath or something else to barter in trade. No meeting has been made with us to even inquire of your whereabouts. I assure you, such a display in the early days may have stirred my heart. I may have considered offering your freedom, but now I will accept no offering.”

  I wanted to believe that she was lying. That she simply did not wish for me to know that my people were fighting for my freedom. That she wished for me to believe that they held no care for me in their hearts. Yet, I knew the truth of her words. My people left here relieved that it was me who was taken. I was a man of defect to them and they were thankful that they could rid themselves of me. My people cared little for me. They always have. It stemmed from my father’s overt disapproval of me and my abilities. The one act in my life that made him proud was this sacrifice, so he allowed it. Though he knew it meant he would never see me again. No one would ever see me again, but it didn’t matter to him. I was always unwanted.

  “If you had managed to escape, do you think your people would be pleased for you to return to them?” Kiatra continued. “Do you think they will accept you back? Perhaps for a moment but don’t be a fool. Every man who stood here that day one year ago, knows the agreement that was made. If you return to them, they’ll know that the deal has been b
roken. They will know that my people will come and take the blood that we had pardoned. Do you think they will fight for you then? It does not matter, does it? You would not allow it. You would not allow for any one of them to be harmed. You would willingly come back to me. This time as your mother and brother bore witness.” I buried my head into the pillow. Why wouldn’t she just leave me alone? I didn’t want to hear this. Was my punishment not severe enough that now she wished to humble me with her words?

  She shifted slightly next to me before continuing. “You disappointed me today, Isaac. You have lost my trust. I was a fool to give it to you so easily, knowing that I am a woman that you will never allow yourself to trust. Perhaps we both can learn from our mistakes.” I was the one in physical pain, yet I grieved for her. Kiatra was a good master. She had subjected herself to ridicule for taking me into her service. Taking me for reasons I still did not understand, but it didn’t matter. She had treated me well and I had defied her.

  She combed her fingers gently through my hair as a slight sigh left her mouth. “But know that I am not unforgiving. If you serve me faithfully these next nine years, perhaps I will consider offering you freedom from this life.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath trying to comprehend her words. Freedom? “Not freedom to return home.” She quickly corrected. “Freedom to take a profession of your choosing. Freedom to procure a home for yourself. Freedom to fill that home with a wife and children. I have the power to offer slaves their independence after ten years of service. If I choose to do so. But if you wish for this, you must consider your ways carefully. I will not grant freedom to an unfaithful, untrustworthy slave. If you find it so unbearable here, there is only one way for which you to escape.” She extended her hand over me and placed a steel dagger by my head, within my viewpoint. She grazed my neck with her fingers slightly as she stood. “Your people have already accepted your death and mourned for it and moved on. They did not want you, but I did. Remember that, Isaac. Remember that I have always wanted you.” The past tense of her words discouraged me, but more so, I had heard them before. The memory of one of my earliest visions came back to me. When I was eleven years of age, I saw a woman say these words to a man lying wounded on a bed. I could see neither of their faces, but I heard her words. Kiatra’s words to me now. I have always wanted you.

  Did she no longer want me in her presence? The thought stirred up a strange but familiar feeling within me. Rejection. The weight of her disappointment sat heavily on me. I felt the urge to weep again, like the coward that I was.

  She stayed by my side a moment longer before I heard her footsteps slowly fade away from me. I did not know when sleep overtook me again. A numbness surrounded me as I woke. My physical pain was secondary to the pain Kiatra had rose in my heart. I never thought too much on what I was escaping toward. There was no return to my old life. Nor did it seem that my people wished for it. I was dead to them. My return would only cause confusion. I gazed at the dagger Kiatra had left by my side. No, I wouldn’t take my own life and the woman knew it. It was likely what my people thought I would do if I was kept alive here. There was no possible way Mad Isaac could survive slavery. No possibility I of all men could gain favor with the Chieftess of the Fortress and learn to please her. Kiatra was right. They had left me here, and they showed no concern of what would happen to me.

  I pulled myself up from the bed with a loud cry. The pain was excruciating. I cried again as I stepped to the ground and wrapped a sheet around my body.

  “Have you gone mad! Get back to bed!” Natalie exclaimed as she and Sabrina rushed into the chambers. I stumbled forward and balanced myself on the table where I ate with Kiatra. I groaned again as Natalie gripped me under the arm. “Come now. Don’t be stubborn. You’ve had a rough go of it, and your mistress is allowing you rest.”

  “What time is it?”

  “It’s almost time for the midday meal.” Sabrina said. Her eyes glided down my body in careful examination as if she was slightly amused by the display. I pulled away from them with great effort.

  “I have to go to Titus. I have to go to the training fields.” I said walking away from them. I stumbled into the bathing chamber and fell headfirst into the waters.

  “Isaac!” Natalie yelled in irritation as she jumped in after me and pulled my head above the water. “You are not to go to the training fields today! You are to rest! You received 50 lashes just yesterday! Have you forgotten? You will aggravate your wounds!”

  The waters brought a sharp stinging sensation up my wounds making me cringe. I gripped the edge of the bath and tightened my eyes shut. “I must go.” I said hoarsely. “Aren’t you the one who told me that I must keep getting up? These people will never respect me if I don’t. Kiatra—” I cut my words and opened my eyes to meet Natalie’s. “I’ve shamed her.”

  Natalie sighed as she looked at me with pity. “You are not the first slave to try to escape and you are certainly not the first servant to disappoint your master.”

  “Though you are the first to dare disappoint Kiatra.” Sabrina said with a smile. “And the first to receive a beating from her. I am sad I missed it. I heard it was quite a show.”

  “Enough, Sabrina! We don’t need your commentary.” I pulled back although Natalie kept a tight arm around my bare waist. Heat rose to my face, not from Natalie’s proximity but from Sabrina’s words. What was told about my escape? How far had my humiliation traveled? How far has my mistress been disgraced for it?

  “I need to go to Titus—"

  “We will see tomorrow—"

  “I can’t miss a day of training! The people will think that Kiatra not only has a disobedient slave but a weak one.”

  “They already think that.” Sabrina said evenly. “You have always been weak, but the burden is on her own head. You come from disobedient, rebellious people. She granted you too much favor when you have so little to offer in return. It is no surprise you squandered your blessing. There is no need to fear. She will surely grant you forgiveness. It is in her nature. And you will surely break her trust again. You cannot hold the blame for doing what is in your nature. She was foolish to trust you in the first place.”

  “For once in your life, Sabrina, shut up! Your sister told you to stay away from here, did she not? Get out!”

  “Come, Natalie. Let him go to the training fields. He is quite entertaining to watch.”

  Before Natalie answered I pulled myself out of the water with great effort, and haphazardly wrapped the sheet around me again. I had no interest in hearing anymore of what this woman thought of me. Yet, I failed to leave with even a bit of dignity as the pain from my whipping brought about a spout of dizziness, causing me to collapse to the floor. I stumbled up again but was caught into the sheet.

  “Stop struggling.” Natalie said gently as she helped me up. “If you are so determined to go, I will take you to the training fields.” I gave her what I hoped was an appreciative smile as I struggled not to pass out from my pain.

  Natalie cleansed my wounds with gentle care and helped me dress as Sabrina did not take her leave but watched from a distance. I let Natalie feed me as the simple gesture of raising my arm to my mouth, stretched out the lashes on my back causing excruciating pain. I tucked Kiatra’s dagger into my belt as Natalie helped me out of the chambers and Sabrina went on ahead of us.

  I grabbed my staff before I exited the room. Natalie released her grip on my arm and let me wobble ahead of her, using my staff as a crutch.

  “What do you think you are doing? Where are you going?” Mara exclaimed, chasing after us the second we left the main entrance.

  “Leave him be.” Natalie said simply. “He wishes to go to the training fields.” Mara opened her mouth to protest. I knew this woman could keep me here, so I looked at her pleadingly. She closed her mouth and nodded though her disapproval was clear in her eyes.

  I ignored the crowd I was gathering, following curiously behind us as I slowly made my way to where I trained with Titus. Al
l eyes moved towards me when I reached the clearing. Titus stopped sparring with the boys upon seeing me approach. I felt moisture on my back and knew my wounds had reopened and were starting to stain my tan vest just from the exertion of the walk. I stopped a short distance from Titus. He looked at me with concern as I raised my staff and went into the starting position he had taught me. Titus’ face was grim, but he faced me and did two gentle swings toward me connecting with my staff. The simple motion sent me off balance igniting the pain in my wounds, but I steadied myself and went back into position. Titus swung again with more force. I fell forward onto my knees. I stifled the pain and took heavy breaths before rising again to my feet.

  “Again.”

  Titus swung hard this time and I fell back straight on my wounded back. I couldn’t suppress the sharp cry of pain that came out of me. I stayed motionless for several minutes, fighting against the urge to pass out, as I was surrounded by growing whispers. I ignored Titus’ hand and forced myself back up. “Again.” I said wearily.

  “Enough, Isaac. You have done enough.”

  “Again.” I said sharply. Titus looked behind me for a moment and sighed heavily. He turned away from me before swinging back around in strong movements striking me on my left side and then quickly grabbing each end of his staff and pushing me back with one hard thrust of his arms.

  This time I did not fall to the ground. I fell back into someone and was wrapped in strong arms. “Enough.” The familiar voice said into my ears. “Enough.” Kiatra repeated gently. I pulled away and steadied myself outside of her grip before turning to face her. It wasn’t until then that I realized how large the crowd had become that followed me to the training ground. There were at least a hundred lay people surrounding us.

  Kiatra’s expression was stern but her eyes were grieved. Dark rings encircled them as if she had not slept properly. The sudden sensation to weep overcame me, but I fought against it and knelt before her, with great effort. I unlatched her dagger by my side and raised it to her.