Lucien is still standing directly behind me, he jaw clenching with his own anger. I give him a look as if to say ‘don’t do anything stupid.’
Please, please, don’t do anything stupid.
Elias grabs me now, forcing me to look at him. “How dare you defy me? How dare you defy your king? That is an act of treason!” He spits.
Treason. That’s one word a queen never wants to hear come from her king’s lips. He would surely have me killed for this. I don’t bother to say anything to him. I’ve decided to remain silent no matter what he says to me.
He lets go of me now, pacing back and forth. “You’ve proved to me, you’re unable to rule a country by yourself, my dear. I’ve decided that your cousin will take your place on your father’s throne.”
I change my mind on remaining silent as fury bellows within me. “There is no way I will ever allow that to happen. I am the rightful heir to the Myrkdovian crown,” I say in an even voice.
Elias smiles. “You really have no choice.”
“And how do you think you can stop me?” I ask.
“Well, you see, if you don’t write your father telling him of what you have decided, I’ll have him killed.”
Ah, yes. Elias’ spies in Myrkdovia. Of course he would pull out that card. Why wouldn’t he? He knew how to get what he wanted.
He continues: “You’ll tell him that you’re loyal to your husband’s throne, and you don’t think you could be a good queen for Myrkdovia, because your place, and your heart are here.”
I feel the vomit reaching my throat at a remarkable speed, and I swallow hard. I cannot throw up all over his feet. I couldn’t let him know how much he was getting to me. Instead, I stand a little taller and turn to walk away.
He quickly grabs my arm, gripping hard. “You’ll never defy me like that again, Blair. Or I will have your head. The only reason I’m letting you live this time is because of this delicious body of yours,” he says, running his hand down my chest. He pauses, taking his time at the crease of my breasts, and I back away from him.
He lets out a laugh. “Go. I have much to do,” he says as he licks his lips.
I can’t get out of here fast enough. I half walk, half run out of the throne room, heading back towards my chambers. My breath is still caught in my chest, and I’m feeling dizzy. I stop abruptly, leaning against the cool concrete wall, letting it smooth the bare skin touching it. I instinctively touch my chest as I try to catch my breath.
Lucien slowly walks to me, as if not to startle me. Like I’m fragile. Maybe I am.
“Blair?” He says in a soft tone.
“Don’t, Lucien. Just don’t,” I say. I can’t handle anyone asking me if I’m okay right now. I cannot break down, especially here, in the middle of the hallway, for anyone who walks by to see.
“Okay. I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I choke back a sob at his gentleness. How is it that two men can be such complete opposites? How is it that I ended up marrying the most evil man I know, while I’m in love with the most gentle man I know?
I can’t help it. I laugh now. A long, bellowing laugh, to hide the fact that I’m also half sobbing. I had to laugh at how terrible my luck was, otherwise I would fall apart.
Lucien just watches me, sadness filling his expression. He knows me too well. He knows I’m not actually finding anything even remotely funny. He knows this is just my defense against my true feelings. I continue laughing nonetheless, until my ribs hurt.
Finally, I catch my breath, and grow serious. I don’t say a word to Lucien as I walk away. I can’t. I just can’t handle this right now.
It takes me a second to realize what I’m seeing as I open the door to my room. At first, it’s like I’m dreaming. Red liquid drips slowly from my bed post, a small pool forming at the floor. I just stand there for a moment, staring at it.
I look up to the top of my bed post, to see what it is that’s causing all of this liquid. I feel my heart stop, as reality hits me like a ton of bricks. It’s blood. A noise so loud comes from my lips, that I wouldn’t recognize it as my own, if it weren’t for the aching in my chest and throat. I fall to my knees, landing right into the pool of blood. It’s still warm, almost hot. I look up again, and see her head, positioned on the bed post. Her eyes looking down at me, her hair drenched in sticky red.
I scream again, for that’s all I know to do.
Chapter 19
My ears buzz so loud, I can’t hear as Lucien runs in and kneels down next to me, wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders. I don’t hear as Milly hurries in. I can see her mouth gaped open like she might be screaming. I can see the horror in her eyes and the tears streaming down her cheeks, but I hear nothing. I look down, seeing my hands and dress now drenched in blood. I look up to her dead eyes staring down at me. They didn’t even bother to close her eyes after killing her. That was probably on purpose.
Adelina. Elias killed my best friend. He killed her, and stuck her head on the post, making sure I’d undoubtedly discover it for myself. He needed a life taken. And because I prevented him from executing that man earlier, Elias made sure to take the life of someone dear to me. This was my punishment. This is what I get for defying the king.
“Blair.” The voice sounds muffled, and I don’t comprehend it.
“Your majesty?” I hear a different muffled voice this time. I gaze over to see Tobias lifting me from the floor. I don’t feel it. I don’t feel anything. All I can feel is the searing pain in my heart, and the numbness coursing through my body. “Let's get you out of here,” Tobias says.
“No,” I say. “I can’t leave her!” I begin to cry as I reach for the bed. I don’t know what I plan on doing. I just know I don’t want to leave Adelina alone. I need to say goodbye to her. I need to tell her I love her.
Lucien is holding on to my other arm, and they both hold me up as I walk. I look up to Lucien and see that tears are welling in his eyes too. “We have to,” he whispers.
“Milly,” I finally let out.
“She’s right here, love,” Lucien says. I look next to him, seeing her staring in shock at Adelina’s head. She says nothing, she only stares.
“Milly,” I say again. She snaps out of it, and twists her head towards me. “We have to go.”
She nods her head, tears streaking her face. She walks towards us, stumbling a little with each step. I’m afraid she might faint, so I reach my hand out to her. Lucien grabs her arm, steadying her as he and Tobias escort us down the hall.
We reach what I’m guessing is my new chambers until...until they can get my old one clean. The walk cleared my head, and I am no longer numb. I reach the chair, sitting the opposite side of the bed, and sit down hard. I rest my face in my hands and cry. I cry harder than I ever have in my life. I gasp for air with each vicious sob that comes out. My body is shaking ferociously, and Lucien kneels next to me, putting his hands on my arms, trying to steady me. Trying to comfort me. I grab onto his arm, gripping tightly as I cry into his shoulder. The pain I’m feeling is the most unbearable I’ve ever felt. The world is shattering and crumbling around me, making it feel like I’m suffocating.
“Lucien, you need to get out of here,” Tobias says in a soft tone. “The king will be here any moment. He can’t see the two of you like this.”
Lucien reluctantly agrees and stands. I look up to him with pleading eyes. “No. I don’t want you to go,” I say in a pitiful voice.
“He must, your majesty,” Tobias says, resting his hand on my shoulder.
Lucien looks pained, tears welling in his eyes again. “I’ll come back to you as soon as I can. I promise,” he says, and quickly walks away. He hesitates at the door, looking back at me one more time, before leaving.
He’s not far, I remind myself. He’s just outside, standing guard along with Jake.
Milly is sitting next to me on the floor. Her knees to her chest, as she tightly hugs them. She’s still in shock, staring blankly at the wall. Her eyes are red and swollen,
her face wet and streaked with tears.
I need to protect her. I’ll never let her out of my sight again. I can’t let Elias take her from me, too.
Why didn’t I see this coming? Of course he’d resort to this. He needed to take a life. If not the innocent homeless man he had in mind, then it would be someone else. And since I was the one who interfered and stopped him, it would be someone close to me. I should have seen this. I should have kept them by my side. Instead, I slammed the door in their faces because I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to tell her how much I love and appreciate her.
Elias would pay for this. One way or another, I’d make him pay.
Tobias kneels down in front of me, checking me over.
“None of the blood is mine,” I say, flatly.
He looks up to me with pity. “I’m so sorry your majesty,” he says, caressing my face.
“Thank you, Tobias.”
He goes to Milly next. She’s still staring at the wall, not making eye contact. “My lady, can you hear me?” Tobias asks her.
She only blinks in response. He gently pats her on the arm, and stands. “She’s in shock. But not to worry your majesty, she’ll come out of it soon,” he says to me.
Another tear slips from my eye, and I quickly wipe it away. “Is there anything I should do for her?” I ask.
“Just try to get her to drink some water in a little while. For now, just let her cope with everything that’s happened.”
I nod, resting my face in my hands again. Before I can even think about crying again, Elias runs in.
“Blair, sweetheart! Oh my, God! I just heard what happened. Are you okay?” He rushes to me, kneeling down next to the chair where I’m sitting.
I feel the rage I’ve felt so many times before with this man, building inside of me. Only this time it’s stronger. My gaze pierces into his like dagger, and I can feel my face growing hot.
“You bastard!” I scream, standing from the chair.
He looks startled, and a little angry.
“You no good, rotten bastard!” I yell again as I push him with all the force I have. He stumbles back, barely catching his balance.
I’m seeing red, and I’m not thinking clearly at all. I run up to him, hitting and scratching him in the face. I pound my fists on his chest, screaming and crying the whole time. “How dare you!” I yell over and over.
“How dare you! How dare you!” My throat burns from yelling, but I can’t stop.
“Your majesty, enough!” Tobias says, gripping my shoulders and pulling me away.
Elias only stares at me, anger bubbling up and showing brightly in his face. I draw closer to him again, challenging him. “You murdered my friend! You will never get away with this!” I yell as I push him again.
Lucien comes in now, pulling me away from Elias. I’m still swinging, trying to get in one last hit before being out of reach. Finally giving up, I stand still.
“I know you’re hurting right now. I understand you need someone to blame. I’m just sorry it’s me,” Elias says. Blood drips from his face, and I feel immense satisfaction.
“I will never let you get away with this,” I repeat.
He threatens me silently by clenching his jaw. I know he’s furious. But he could never be more furious than I am at this very moment.
He quickly struts from the room, leaving me shaking, hands bloody.
Jake stands at the door, unsure of what to do, if anything. Lucien rests his hand gently on my shoulder. “That was reckless, Blair,” he says in a soft tone.
He was right. I already angered Elias once today. And here I was doing it again. I would never get away with this. Elias will have his revenge on me, once again. I just hope it's me he hurts and not someone else.
I don’t know what came over me. But when I saw Elias, acting like he cared so much, like he was so concerned, the deep rage bellowing inside of me finally let loose. It wasn’t until Lucien grabbed me, that I snapped out of it and realized what I’d done. Where did this side of me come from? I’ve never been capable of hurting anyone or anything ever before in my life. Now, it came so easily. I enjoyed hurting Elias. It made me happy. It brought me relief. Was I becoming him?
“I know,” I say, breathless. “I know. I don’t know what got into me.”
Lucien smiles at me softly. “I’m kind of proud of you, though.”
“Me too,” Milly says, standing next to us now.
“Milly!” I say, grabbing her in a hug. “Oh, Milly. I love you so much. You know that, right?”
“Of course I do. And I love you too,” she says, in a shaky voice.
I hang on to her a little longer, not wanting to ever let her go. I needed her now, more than ever. If I were to lose both of my best friends, I don’t think I could ever get through it. I know I couldn’t.
“Your majesty, stay low for awhile. Don’t let your guard down even for a second,” Tobias says now.
I wouldn’t ever let my guard down again. I would protect myself and those I love, no matter what the cost. As long as I had my dagger.
“My dagger!” I exclaim. “Tobias I need the dagger from my room. It’s under my pillow.”
Tobias quickly nods his head in agreement. “Yes. I’ll go get it,” he says.
“I’ll get it for you, your majesty,” Jake says, quickly leaving.
I’ll feel safer knowing I have my dagger. Even though I know nothing can save me from Elias and his wrath. If he wants to kill me, he will. I need to write to my father, and tell him to get here. I’ll have to make sure the letter is vague, for if Elias were to get his hands on it and see that I told him everything, he’d have him killed. When father arrives, I’ll just say that I wanted to tell him about giving up the throne in person. But I needed to keep Myrkdovia informed on my situation. I needed their help. I know now, that I can’t do this alone. I have Lucien, and I have Milly, and I have Tobias. But there’s only so much they can do to help me. I need someone with power to get me out of here.
Everyone remains quiet. Lucien is next to me, standing tall, refusing to leave my side. Tobias is pacing back and forth, his thumb pressed against his lip, thinking intently on something. Milly is still standing, looking out the window, trying to steady her breathing.
I look at the three of them, realizing they have quickly become the best part of my life. Milly always has been, of course. But Lucien and Tobias are just as important to me now. My stomach sinks at the thought of what happened to Adelina, happening to them. I will burn this castle to the ground myself if anything more happens to the ones I love. Without hesitation.
Jake returns a time later, handing me the dagger. “Here it is, your majesty.”
I take it from him, and clutch it to my chest. “Thank you, Jake.”
Jake looks around, to make sure it’s still just the four of us in the room. “I for one, think you’re incredibly brave, your majesty.” He says with a smile.
I let out a small laugh as he walks back to his post outside the door, and I realize he too, has become a very important part of my life. He’s shy, a little reserved. But he’s one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. And loyal to a fault. I catch him glancing over to Milly a few times, and I can’t help but smile. She’s completely oblivious to it. He would be a good choice for her. He could protect her through the night, unlike me. And I know he would love her by the way he’s gazing at her now.
“Your majesty, I need to head out and make my rounds. Is there anything you need before I go?” Tobias asks.
“No, thank you Tobias,” I say.
He gives me a soft smile, and kisses me on the cheek. “I’m here whenever you need me.”
I try not to cry again as I nod my head. “I know, Tobias. I appreciate you so much.”
As he leaves, I begin to pace around the room. I go to the window where Milly is still standing, and look out. We’re on the other side of the gardens now, and I can just barely see the small pond in
the distance. I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly. There’s so much uncertainty right now, and it’s driving me mad. The only thing I was certain about, is that I really made Elias mad this time. What was I thinking hitting him like that? I shiver at the thought of him taking his revenge on me.
Lucien walks up behind me, standing so close, I can feel his broad chest just barely grazing my back. He places a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I instinctively touch my hand to his.
“Milly, would you mind if I spoke to her majesty alone for a moment?” He asks.
Even with all the heartache I’m experiencing, my heart flutters in anticipation.
Milly looks between the two of us, finally smiling for the first time since she snapped out of her shock. “Of course,” she says, quickly scurrying away.
I turn, calling out to Jake. “Jake, please stay with Milly. Don’t leave her side for even a moment,” I order.
“It’ll be my pleasure, your majesty,” he says, and Milly shuts the door behind them.
It’s just me and Lucien now. His hand still resting on my shoulder. I slowly back into him, so my back is pressed tightly against his chest. He reaches down, resting his head on mine as he wraps me in a warm hug.
We’ve never talked about our feelings towards one another. I’ve only ever heard him vaguely tell Tobias how he felt about me, that night Elias hurt me. But we didn’t need to say a word to each other. It was obvious how we both felt, as the passion between us burns hotter every time we see one another.
I turn now to look at him, his arms still wrapped around my waist. I place a hand on his chest, staring deeply into his eyes.
“Thank you,” I say.
“What for?”
“For never leaving my side. For being the one constant and most precious thing in my life,” I say.
Lucien reaches up, cupping my cheek in his hand. “Blair…”. He says in a soft sigh as he rests his forehead on mine, closing his eyes. “It takes all the power I have within me to know my place,” he whispers after a long moment. “You’re a queen. My queen. I’m just a knight.”
The Deadly Alliance (The Deadly Alliance Series Book 1) Page 13