Teodora couldn’t catch her breath as Cullen’s mouth smothered her. But in truth, she hardly cared. His hands kneaded her fiercely, tearing at the already-ruined gown until it was in tatters. His wicked lips moved down her neck, suckling her shoulders and leaving bright red marks. Moving to her nipples, he licked and nursed until Teodora was wet from his saliva. He bit her gently, aroused from the soft cries she would utter every time he did so. Down her stomach he moved, further and further, until he yanked the last of her gown away to reveal the soft curls between her legs.
Gently but firmly, he pushed her legs apart. His lust was full-blown by the time his mouth descended on the curly triangle, licking her so forcefully that Teodora bit off her cries against her hand. His hands cupped her buttocks, holding her greedily to him. Teodora bucked and thrashed, her fingers intertwining in his hair and holding him fast against her. Harder Cullen lapped, tasting her honey, until Teodora’s entire body suddenly stiffened with a great release of ecstasy.
Cullen felt her twitch and convulse beneath him, manipulating her fiercely until she lay limp and drained on the silken coverlet. As she lay there gasping for breath, he lowered his hose to release his engorged manhood. Propping her legs up at the knees, he entered her with one firm, powerful stroke.
Teodora gasped with pleasure, the sound muffled as Cullen’s mouth closed over her lips once again. Their kisses were far less frenzied, far more meaningful and passionate as he drove into her again and again, feeling her silken heat caress him, drawing him deeper. Teodora wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him as if she’d never let him go. Together they moved, inching their way across the bed with each successive thrust until Teodora’s head bumped into head of the bed. Still, they did not stop. They continued to kiss, to make love, as if it would be the last time in their mortal lives that they would ever do so.
Cullen’s climax came in a single hard burst and he grunted, thrusting forcefully to release his seed deep inside her. He held Teodora tightly, kissing her nose, her cheeks, her ears as she gasped contentedly beneath him. She couldn’t catch her breath, and Cullen couldn’t remember having ever been so completely satisfied, with anyone.
It was as if they were made for each other.
Teodora began to stroke his cropped locks absently, her mind a warm fuzzy haze of contentment. When Cullen’s senses finally returned and he lifted his head from her shoulder, he found himself gazing into her beautiful eyes.
“I…” He began, then softly cleared his throat. “I don’t know what came over me, my lady. I would apologize if I thought it would be proper to do so. But in truth… I do not know what to say at all.”
She smiled. “Don’t say anything. There’s no need.”
His face grew serious. “But this… it’s simply not right that we…”
“Why?” Teodora demanded quietly. “It was right enough when the earl ordered you to do so. Why is it not right when your heart dictates your actions?”
“Because emotions have no place in a relationship between you and me.”
Teodora stared at him, feeling puzzled and desperately hurt. “Why not, Cullen?”
“Because you are my liege’s wife.”
“But it was you who consummated the marriage. Doesn’t that, in a sense, make me your wife as well?”
He sighed and pushed himself off of her. Teodora sat up, watching him collect himself. Her gown was in tatters and she made no move to cover her nudity. Instead, she stood tall and faced him, her succulent breasts firm, her stomach flat and delicious. Cullen tried not to stare, tried not to be too obvious in his adoration.
“It does not make you my wife and well you know it.” He had to turn away from her or risk doing something rash yet again. “What we did on the night of your wedding was duty-bound and nothing more.”
Teodora’s gaze moved over his outrageously broad shoulders, remembering the wonderful feel of them in her hands. Her heart swelled wildly but she fought the sensation, struggling to focus.
“You have spent a week ignoring me,” she said softly. “I want you to tell me something.”
“What?”
“What did you… feel that night?”
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. Tell me what you feel for me, Cullen. It is more than knightly devotion, isn’t it?”
He did look at her, then. “I doesn’t matter what I feel. I do as I am told. And so do you.”
“What if I told you that you have captured my heart?”
His jaw ticked. Teodora stared at him, hardly breathing, waiting for a response. He clenched his teeth, running a hand through his cropped hair, appearing nervous and uncertain for the first time since Teodora had known him. For a small eternity, he stood there, silently, grinding his teeth until he bit his lip and drew blood. And through it all, Teodora continued to watch him, her stomach quivering and her heart in her throat.
I’ve said too much!
“Christ,” Cullen finally breathed, shaking his head. His defenses crumbled before her eyes and when he looked at her, Teodora saw the pain and confusion in the dark depths. “You mustn’t even think such a thing, Teddy.”
Teodora wasn’t sure how to react other than to press him. She knew, instinctively, that his feelings for her were the same. She could see it on his face and she was determined to hear it from his own lips.
“Why not?” she demanded softly. “I cannot help what I feel or think. Why can’t I love you if only the two of us know of it?”
His hand came up and Teodora thought he was going to touch her face, as tenderly as he had stroked it in the midst of their lovemaking. But his fingers stopped just short, hanging in the air, until he clenched his fist and lowered his hand. If Teodora had been a crying woman, she might have done so at that moment. The feelings of pain and bewilderment were too powerful to describe.
“It can never be,” he murmured.
“Why not?” she demanded, her voice lifting. “Why can it never be?”
He sighed, struggling. “Be logical, would you? You are a married woman. I am your vassal. We could never have the kind of relationship that would…”
He trailed off. “Would what?” she demanded.
He moved forward, grabbing her by the arms to silence her building tirade. In all of the days he had known her, she had never been anything but cool and collected. The level of emotion in her voice was indicative of her true feelings, and his heart was being torn to pieces by the pain he heard.
“We would never have an acceptable, public relationship,” he whispered hardly, fixing her in the eye. “You know that, Teddy. In fact, if the earl suspects that our relationship is anything other than duty, it could place both of us in serious jeopardy.”
He was too close, too warm. Teodora relaxed in his grip, her hands coming up to touch his stubbled face. Cullen closed his eyes at her touch, indulging himself for a brief moment before roughly pulling away. A second longer and he would have been unable to pull away; the magic of her touch was heavenly, promising eternal bliss and joy were he only to submit.
He jerked her heart out when he pulled away. Teodora had put all of her emotions into her caresses, a thousand words she was unable to speak expressed in every touch. She watched him pace nervously across the room, feeling more pain and emptiness than she could comprehend. A great weight was pushing against her chest, squeezing the life from her, magnified by every step he took.
“Oh… Cullen,” she breathed. “Are we to have nothing together?”
He didn’t reply immediately. “I don’t see how it is possible.”
She thought a moment. “But what if the earl dies? I would be widowed and…”
“I am betrothed.”
He looked at her as he said it, never having been so sorry to admit anything in his life. In truth, he should have told her before now and he knew that, but the reality was that it hadn’t been an issue until this moment. She was hoping, praying, exploring every avenue of possi
bility, and he had to let her know that such a thing simply wasn’t conceivable in more ways than she realized.
He saw her swallow hard. Instead of breaking into hysterics, she reacted as he would have expected her to; the emotions faded, the reason returned to her expression, and the dignity seemed to return to her manner. But the sea-colored eyes revealed the agony she was feeling and, more than anything, Cullen wished he could take the pain away. But he couldn’t, and they both knew it.
Now, more than ever.
“Congratulations,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I should have expected as much. But in truth, the likelihood never occurred to me.”
He almost wished she had become angry with him. Her cool, detached reply was like a dagger into his heart. It made the reality of the situation hurt even more.
“It wasn’t by choice, believe me.” He suddenly felt the need to explain himself. “My father pledged me only a short while ago, in fact. The truth is that I still forget that I am.”
“Who is she?”
“A young woman from a fine family. I’ve never met her.”
“Her name?”
“Does it matter?”
“It does not. When are you to be married?”
He began grinding his teeth again. “Christmas of next year.” She nodded and turned away, and he found himself following her around the room like an eager pup. “My father did this without my permission, Teddy. I did not even know about it until a short while ago, and if I could release myself from it, I surely would. But even if I did, there is no possibility of you and I being together, ever.”
She kept her back to him, pausing to gaze from the long lancet window. The breeze was gentle on her face, cooling her flaming cheeks but hardly easing the anguish in her heart.
“And you will be bringing your lady wife to live with you once you are wed?” she asked, almost casually.
But he felt as if she had slapped the question into him. The answer to it was painful. Hovering behind her, he smelled the faint sweet scent of her hair and ached more than anything to reach out and touch it.
“Aye,” he whispered.
“Then if she is your wife, she will be my lady-in-waiting.”
Cullen closed his eyes, tightly. Teodora understood the role of a champion’s wife well. “More than likely your constant companion. As it is my duty to serve the earl, it will be her duty to serve you.”
Teodora was silent, continuing to gaze from the window. In the next instant, she was on the sill, her body already halfway out. Startled, Cullen reached up and yanked her hard, trying to pull her back inside, but she fought him with every ounce of her formidable strength.
It was a furious tug-of-war as she struggled to jump and he struggled to save her. They were three stories up and the fall would, at the very least, break her neck. Teodora grunted and kicked at him, but Cullen managed to get his arms around her waist and, giving a violent tug, pulled her from the window. Together, they toppled to the floor, wrestling and fighting like two cats in a snare.
There were tears on Teodora’s face. Eventually, the sobs overtook her and she went limp. Cullen pulled her close, never more frightened in his entire life. He sat up, holding her against his chest with enough force to squeeze the life from her.
“I am so sorry,” he murmured against her hair. “Please do not despair. ’Twill be all right, I promise. God, please don’t do anything stupid like that ever again. Do you hear me?”
Teodora hadn’t cried since she was a child. She had no idea how to stop the tears, or how to control them. They simply came spilling out, consuming her, until there was nothing left but tears and pain.
“I… I hate you,” she hissed, sobbing. “I hate you for giving me these feelings and rejecting them when I try to share them with you.”
He held her tighter. “You don’t hate me,” he whispered. “You love me, as I love you, and I will love you until the end of time.”
Teodora cried harder. “Then if you love me, be with me. Take me away from here so that we may be together always.”
He shook his head, stroking her silky blonde hair and feeling what was left of his heart shatter into a million pieces. “If it were only that simple, I would.”
She gasped into his shoulder. “Make it that simple, Cullen. You can do anything. You are a man of many talents. Why can’t you make it that simple?”
He sighed heavily. Pulling her face away from his neck, he gazed into her red, sodden eyes. “I have a better idea,” he murmured. “I will make you a promise instead.”
She eyed him with uncertainty. “W-What promise?”
He smiled, kissing her forehead. “I will make you two promises,” he said softly. “The first promise I will make is that I shall delay this marriage as long as possible. My unexpected feelings for you are one thing, but deliberately betraying a woman I will marry by carrying on with you is quite another. It would not be fair to her, and my moral character is already badly in danger of fracturing. I do not want to make one problem worse by compounding it with another.”
Teodora sniffled, wiping her nose. She understood what he was saying, feeling guilty that she had put him in this position. “A-And the second promise?”
He kissed her again. “The second promise is that if I can think of a way out of this situation for us, I will. You have my vow.”
Her tears had stopped by now as his words gave her some hope. “But how?” she said. “I am not a fool, Cullen. I know what we are doing is wrong, in so many ways. But I cannot help what I feel. I do not think you can, either.”
He pursed his lips sadly. “I cannot,” he admitted. “I am not sure if I want to. The simple solution would be for us to walk away from each other, but that would be not only painful, but impossible considering Preston will only throw us back together, time and time again, in this twisted and difficult situation he has created. That being said, I’ve always been a resourceful man. If there’s a will, there’s a way. Know that I will not give up on this, Teddy. Can you be content with that for now?”
Teodora felt a surge of joy. “Do you truly mean it?”
“Omnia vincit amor.”
She smiled, putting her hands on either side of his rugged face. “Love conquers all?”
“Indeed, it does.” He stroked her hair, the side of her face. “Semper fidelis.”
Her expression turned soft. “Always faithful.”
“In my heart, only to you, will I always be faithful. Until I die.”
“Then I shall trust you completely.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “No more attempts to leap from the window?”
She looked sheepish. “Actually, I am afraid of high places. I would not have jumped.”
“You could have fooled me. Maybe instead of pulling, I should have pushed and seen where that would have gotten me.”
“It would have gotten you a punch in the eye.”
He laughed softly. Then he kissed her. “That’s a good lass,” he murmured against her cheek. “You are starting to sound like yourself again.”
Teodora sighed raggedly as he kissed her temples, her eyes. She was about to put her lips against his when a loud, demanding voice sounded from the other side of the closed bower door.
“Where is Cullen?” Preston’s shout was muffled.
Teodora leapt up from Cullen’s embrace. Before she could gather a robe to cover herself, the door to the chamber flew open, revealing blinding white light and a hulking, angry figure.
CHAPTER TEN
“Well, well.” The voice was almost amused. “What, may I ask, have we here?”
Preston’s hazel eyes moved between Cullen and Teodora as the pair put distance between them in a most unsubtle manner. Cullen remained as unflappable as always, but Teodora’s cheeks were red and her demeanor hurried. Of course, that fact that she was half-naked didn’t help the situation.
Quickly, she moved to the trunk by the bed and recovered a faded shawl. Swinging it about her shoulders to cover the remains of h
er tattered gown, she moved to the lancet window and stood in front of it, not knowing what else to do. Her back was to Preston and Cullen, she silently prayed as fiercely as she had ever prayed in her life that both she and Cullen would live to see the sun rise.
The tension in the room was palpable. It was obvious what had happened, or apparently what had been interrupted. Preston and Cullen stared at one another, unwavering, each man attempting to anticipate the reaction of the other. But Preston knew, instinctively, that Cullen would never give him the response he sought. No mention of embarrassment, or an offering of explanation. De Nerra was too proud, too controlled. Finally, Preston finally broke the silence.
“You’ve been gone overlong from the field, de Nerra,” he said. “But now I see why. You’ve been occupied with my brood mare.”
Teodora bit her tongue, feeling the sting of his slander but knowing she deserved far worse. Any righteous husband would have hurled more than insults. Cullen, however, could see Preston’s attitude in his eyes, and he knew if he didn’t quell the situation now, it could very likely overwhelm them both. The circumstance was extremely dangerous, for all of them. He could only pray that Teodora would forgive him his method of operation, pray that she would realize his harshness was for their common good. He had to circumvent Preston before the man took it upon himself to dispense some sort of twisted, painful vengeance.
“If you want an heir, my lord, you’ll have to trust that when I am provided an opportunity, I shall take advantage of it,” he said coolly. “Moreover, I was about to return to the field this very moment. ’Twas unnecessary for you to trouble yourself by coming to look for me.”
Preston glanced at Teodora, still standing by the window and wrapped tightly in the old shawl. “I suspect if I hadn’t come to look for you, you would still be in the midst of producing my heir.” Preston’s bushy eyebrows lifted. “Should I be upset that you’ve taken the initiative to bed my wife without a direct order, de Nerra?”
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