by North, Evie
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Hannah had seen her landlord in the street as she approached her building, and had waited out of sight until he hurried off in the direction of the pub. Once he was gone she made her way up the stairs and reached out a hand to unlock her door, only to discover it was already open.
Surely he had not been in there and taken some of her belongings? She would not put it past him to sell anything of value to cover her outstanding rent. What if he had taken her paints and brushes? Hannah pushed open her door. Her panicked gaze darted about the room, expecting the worst.
A large figure was sprawled on her bed.
Part of her mind wondered whether the landlord had already given the room to someone else, but the other part told her she knew this man. She recognized him and yet it couldn’t possibly be...
For a moment she stood frozen to the spot. Slowly she entered the room and crept closer. He was asleep. She could see his eyes closed and the soft rise and fall of his chest. He looked pale and there was a crease between his brows, as though he’d had another terrible headache.
Hannah reached out to touch him, to see if he was real and not some sort of wild fantasy, but stopped herself before her fingers brushed his skin. The toe of her shoe knocked against some papers on the floor and she saw that they were her sketches. Of him. He’d been looking at them.
She bit her lip. And then she felt a spurt of anger at herself, at him. Why should she be embarrassed? He had no right to be here. He was trespassing. And apart from that, how on earth had a blind man found his way here at all?
Well, he couldn’t stay. He must go at once.
“Sebastian?” He stirred, groaned, but didn’t wake. “Sebastian, you must leave.” This time she shook him.
His eyes sprang open and he stared up at her. Almost as if he could see her. But she was used to that. It was only when his gaze slid over her face, resting on her hair, her mouth, and back to her eyes, that she realized he actually did see her.
Hannah staggered back a step, bumping against the chest where her sketches had been, and sank down on top of it when she could no longer stay upright.
Sebastian swung his legs off the bed and sat up. He ran his hands over his face and shook his head, as though he was in a fugue and needed to clear his thoughts.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. “You shouldn’t...you have no right...”
“I’m sorry.” The familiar sound of his voice sent a tremor through her and tears stung her eyes so that she was forced to look away, to hide her emotion. That the mere sound of his voice could do this to her! It wasn’t fair.
“I asked where you lived at the art shop in Matilda Street. It was all I had, Hannah. The only way I could find you.”
He was looking at her now, truly looking at her, and she found her eyes riveted to him in amazement.
“You can see.”
He smiled. “I can. My sight has returned, although it may leave me again. But at least now I can see you. Before I had to make do with memories.”
Hannah shook her head, not understanding. He was looking at her as if...as if he loved her. But how could that be?
“You ran off without letting me explain,” he said, leaning forward with his hands clasped between his knees. His glance at her was uncertain, as if he feared she might bolt down the stairs and out into the street. But Hannah had nowhere to go. Besides, she doubted her shaking legs would hold her upright to the door, let alone to the street.
“It’s over,” she said. She knew it was a lie, at least on her part. “Whatever we had is finished. You had no need to seek me out, Sebastian.”
“But I did have need,” he said urgently. “Hannah, the morning I left you, I went to fight the duel with your brother. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought I would fire past him, wing him at worst, and then come home and explain to you. I didn’t want you to worry until the deed was done. I was too arrogant and foolish to consider things might go wrong. And then they did, and I was out of my senses for many months. By the time I came to it was too late.”
He’d said as much before on the moor. She supposed he could be lying—it was possible, but she didn’t think so. What he’d said seemed completely plausible.
“By then my father had taken me out of the country to prevent scandal or arrest, and when I was myself again I sent him to find you. When he arrived he went to see your mother and she told him you had died. That is what I believed for two years, Hannah. I grieved and mourned you and shut myself away on the moors.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Apart from the women you sent Prentiss to collect from the inn.”
He looked uncomfortable. “Forgive me for that. In my mind you were dead and yet I still yearned for you. It is a small thing but I asked Prentiss to find me women who looked like you, so I could fool myself into thinking it was you I was holding in my arms. It never worked.”
She remembered Prentiss and Trudy saying the master preferred his women dark eyed with dark hair. She could hardly believe it, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to let herself be gulled into accepting what he was saying as truth. She might love him, but how could she trust him?
“And now?” she asked him. “You have told me what you wished to say. What now?”
He stared at her, his eyes so very blue. “Do you believe me? Hannah, do you forgive me? Can you ever forgive me?”
She felt dizzy. He had spoken the words she had longed to hear. She should be ecstatic. Why then did she feel as if it wasn’t enough?
“Yes, I forgive you,” she said dully. “Now you can go, Sebastian.”
At first she thought he was going to do just that, then to her surprise he knelt in front of her on the floor, taking her hands in his. His face was close to hers, and she drank in every adored feature.
“I love you, Hannah,” he said. “Marry me. As we were meant to before.”
She didn’t know what to say. She had dreamed of such a thing, but it had been nothing but a fantasy.
“I’ve always loved you,” he went on. “There has never been another. When you came to me from the inn I thought you were a ghost. How could you be my beloved Hannah when I knew her to be dead? And then when you told me the truth I was in despair. How could you forgive me? I certainly cannot forgive myself. And the baby...”
There was grief in his face, the sort that she herself had experienced, and she could no longer doubt him.
Hannah cupped his cheek with her palm, and then leant forward and gently kissed his lips. “Do not despair, love. I do forgive you.”
Sebastian gazed into her face. Hannah, with her dark hair and pale, beautiful face was just as he remembered. And if there were a few lines about her eyes then she was all the more stunning for them.
He reached to kiss her again, his mouth opening hers, and he heard her soft sigh. He wanted her. Perhaps it was a primal thing, a way of putting his mark upon the woman who belonged to him, but his body went hard and he led her off the trunk and set her on the bed.
She didn’t protest. In fact she was already wrapping her arms about him, her lips clinging to his. He made himself pause and ask the question. He wanted this woman more than he’d believed possible, but if she asked him to stop then he would.
“Are you sure, Hannah? Is this what you want? We can wait until after the wedding.”
Her smile lit up her face and she kissed him again.
“We’re far past that now, don’t you think?”
14
Their naked bodies were pressed skin to skin, and Hannah gazed up into his eyes. Eyes that could see her once again. He stroked her cheek and kissed her face, little butterfly kisses that belied the state of his arousal. She could feel the nudge of his cock against her thigh.
Sebastian loved her, had always loved her, and he’d never meant to leave her. He’d behaved recklessly and she’d thought the worst of him, and they had been separated for two years because of it.
She stretched up to kiss his mouth, tasting him, her tongue tangli
ng with his as he reached down to caress the eager, swollen flesh between her legs. His fingers slid inside her, pressing deep, and she opened her thighs and gasped.
“I want you,” she whispered against him.
Cock in his hand he pressed against her, at the same time applying pressure to her bud, causing tremors deep in her belly. When he began to enter her she tightened around his shaft, holding him, and her movements urged him on.
She was light-headed with desire, with the wonder of having him with her again after she’d thought it was over forever.
“My darling ghost,” he said, and groaned as their bodies joined deeper. He covered her breast with his palm as she ran her hands over his chest and down his sides to clasp his buttocks. She felt fragile when she was with him, but never at risk. On some level she had always known Sebastian would keep her safe.
Her gasps turned to moans and his movements grew quicker, pushing her toward the edge with every stroke. When finally she peaked it was like a release of all her pain and despair of the past years, everything washing away from her, leaving her renewed.
They lay together in the narrow bed, too weak to do more than cuddle. Sebastian spent some time touching her breasts, stroking her skin and explaining that it was like being reborn to be able to see her again.
“I may lose my sight again,” he said with a grimace. “The doctors cannot be sure. But then they weren’t sure I would ever see again in the first place. I want to make the most of this moment, Hannah. I want to marry you soon, very soon, and we will travel. All the places we talked about before. You can paint and I will simply look.”
As she lay in his arms drifting towards slumber, she realized how important it was to make the most of the time one was allotted, and how damaging it could be to live locked away in the past.
“Why did you come to find me?” Sebastian said, waking Hannah. “You had every reason to forget me. Why were you at the inn that day for Prentiss to find you?”
Hannah yawned and stretched. “There is something I need to tell you,” she said, sitting up, her hair cascading about her bare breasts.
He reached to touch her nipple. “First tell me why you came to find me. All the way from London to Yorkshire. Hannah, please.”
She looked down a moment, as if to gather her thoughts. He watched her face, and then her eyes as she met his. There was a pensive quality to her that made him wonder if he really wanted to know her answer.
“I was walking through Hyde Park,” she began. “There are always maid servants there with their young charges. Children were running about and a little girl came toddling up to me with a flower. She’d picked it from somewhere and she held it up to me. She was smiling.
“And I thought...I thought, our baby would be around that age by now, had she lived. And I began to wonder what she might have looked like, dark hair or fair, blue eyes or brown? I hadn’t thought of you for months, I hadn’t allowed myself to, but suddenly you were there in my head and I was hating you so much. It seemed the most important thing in the world for me to find you and tell you my feelings, force you to acknowledge the wrong you had done if need be.”
He took her hand in his, entwining their fingers. “I’m sorry, Hannah.”
She smiled a crooked smile. “I know. You did ask.”
“So what did you do then?”
“I began to walk. I had my wages with me and when I saw a mail coach at an inn I went across to it and asked where it was going. They said Yorkshire, and it seemed like it was meant to be. I paid for my fare and climbed aboard in just the clothes I was wearing.”
“In your slippers.”
She giggled. “Yes, in my slippers.”
He tried to imagine it, how she must have felt to have done such a thing. “How did you know I was in Yorkshire?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “You’d told me about Youlden Manor, how you were sent there to oversee it because your father couldn’t stand it, so I thought perhaps you would be there. I hoped so. I didn’t know in what part of Yorkshire it was situated, and that took time, finding it.”
Sebastian shivered as he imagined what might have happened to her. And then he thought about the little girl with the flower. He knew the sadness of their loss would be with them forever, binding them, just as their love held them together now.
He hadn’t realized he’d been quiet for so long until he glanced up and saw she was watching him. There was a smile playing with her lips and a sparkle in her eyes. Why was she looking so happy when they were remembering something so sad?
“Sebastian, my love,” she said. “I have some news.”
“What news?” he asked, still puzzled.
She lifted his hand in hers and placed his palm against her belly, and then she smiled properly, a broad, beaming grin that made her even more beautiful.
“We are having a child.”
His first thought was: How could she know so soon? And then he realized that she meant from when they were together at Youlden Manor.
“Hannah,” he breathed. And then he caught her in his arms, holding her so tight she squeaked and then laughed. His kisses were rough, and she took his face in her hands to stop him. “Oh, Hannah,” was all he could say for quite some time.
It occurred to him that his beloved ghost had been having his child, alone in London, and she should by rights have informed him of the news. He asked her how she had expected to support herself and the baby.
“I was planning to paint kittens in baskets, if I had to,” she answered with a twinkle in her eye. “Oh Sebastian, I was still in a glow of happiness. As soon as I knew I thought of you, of telling you, but when I remembered how we’d parted... I think I would have told you. No, I’m sure of it. I know where your father’s house is. I’ve walked past it many times. One day I would have gone to the door and rung the bell.”
What would his father have thought of that? But Sebastian refused to think of anything but the happiness in his heart. Hannah was here in his arms, and they were having a child, and the dark days were at last behind them.
“Come,” he said, getting to his feet and pulling her up after him. “Collect your belongings. We’re going to Mortmain House. I want you to meet my father. I wish to give him the good news.”
Hannah looked at him sideways.
“He will love you,” he assured her. Although it might not have been the truth yet, he knew his father would be smitten with her soon enough.
Soon they had dressed and, carrying a bag of Hannah’s belongings, Sebastian set off through London, hand in hand with the woman he loved.
Also by Evie North
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The final instalment in this trilogy is now available
THREE DESPERATE CHOICES
Maddox Hawley is as wild and reckless as his two brothers. Then a duel followed by a meeting in a seedy inn makes him rethink the direction of his life.
Gabriella Jones, disgraced governess, has already made one desperate choice. Should she make another by trusting Maddox?
Maddox is trying to be a better man. He dare not give in to his passionate attraction for Gabriella. Even when she wants him to.
BUY NOW
Also Available by Evie North
One Night of Surrender
The Brothers Mortmain, Book 1
Like his two brothers, Sir Gervais Hawley, son of the Earl of Mortmain, is reckless and wild. But now his days are numbered. Given up to the Bow Street Runners for robbing a coach, he has been sent to Newgate to hang.
Every man on death row is granted a final wish—if he has the money. Gervais has more money than most, and his final wish is for a taste of something sweeter than mere food. He wants Katherine, a woman falsely imprisoned. For one night in her arms, he will pay the debts that will set her free.
From the moment she saw Gervais in the corridors of Newgate, Katherine felt the spark of attraction. In exchange for her freedom, she agrees to his terms: one night in his bed, obey his every command.
&nb
sp; Their passionate encounter is more than Katherine ever expected. And as the cock crow draws near, her body and heart crave more. But Gervais is headed for the gallows... unless fate intervenes.
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Also by Evie North
Two Days of Temptation
The Brothers Mortmain, Book 2
As Hannah approaches the imposing gates of Youlden Manor, she keeps reminding herself of why she is about to give her body to the master of the house. Two years ago, Lord Sebastian Youlden wronged her and their unborn child, and she cannot resume her life until she wreaks revenge.
When Sebastian awoke weeks after a duel that stole his sight, he discovered he’d lost something else—the woman he loved. Grief-stricken, he retreated to his isolated estate, where he occasionally sends for women from the local inn to temporarily assuage his loneliness. Yet there is something strangely compelling about the latest lady of the night who comes to pleasure him.
The first time they come together, Hannah’s icy resolve begins to melt in the heat of his bed. As passion begins to burn away the veil of secrecy between them—and gradually lift the blindness from Sebastian’s eyes—the only thing left standing between them and a love that never died is the naked, painful truth.
About the Author
Evie North is a writer of erotic historical romance. Once Evie goes into her writing zone, she vanishes into a world of medieval knights and Regency rakes, and the ladies who tame them. Here happy endings are obligatory and the bedroom door is left firmly open. During her quieter moments Evie likes to read and garden.