She could feel the tears on her cheeks but her hands were made of led. She couldn’t do anything about the tears, not right now.
“I started streaming after that. I got fired from my job because I just didn’t show up. I was depressed and destroyed on the inside. Streaming, playing our game and talking to the viewers got me through that time. And along the way I built a community out of my following. I think Drudge fostered that with the way the game was cast. All those different kinds of people being made a family, all the different roles. Then the stream became this thing. I feel like one day I woke up and realized that I was making money doing this. That it was something I could do and talk about Efim, the world, how we make it better.”
“That’s... Wow.”
The silence comforted her. She appreciated that Silas didn’t offer her condolences or apologies. Her brother’s death was the result of him choosing to act. She couldn’t do what he’d done, but she could shine a light on the darkness in her own way. Efim had taught her that.
“What were you doing before this?” Silas asked.
She glanced at him, caught unaware by the question. “I was starting a career as a forensic accountant.”
He snorted a laugh. “Seriously?”
She frowned. “Yes.”
“Sorry.” He grinned. “I just wasn’t expecting that. Maybe stylist or make-up, but not forensic accountant.”
“I like data,” she said.
There was no way she would tell him about her love of spreadsheets and numbers. Efim had teased her to tears a few times about how nerdy she was.
“Sorry, no offense.” Silas held up his hands. “I’m just wrapping my head around how different you are than what I expected you to be.
She still wasn’t telling him about her spreadsheets.
His smile slowly faded. “Are you serious about the execution being televised?”
“Yes. I found someone who was able to send it to me.”
Silas’ face paled.
“I had to see it. I had to know he was really dead. That was the only way it was real.” She shrugged while on the inside she was sobbing. “They don’t do that anymore. After that wave of protests was squashed they stopped doing public executions. They still happen, but they’re quiet now.”
Silas scooted toward her. “Why don’t we talk about something else?”
She finally lifted a hand and wiped at her face. “You need to know the truth.”
“I know enough.” His face creased as if in pain, but she didn’t see the dreaded sympathy in his eyes. No, they were...angry?
“Chayan...” She glanced over her shoulder. “He lost both his kids. Bataar’s older brother died during his mandatory five years. Chayan was never told how it happened. Then last year his wife got sick. The government decides who gets taken care of in order of their importance to society. She was just a stay at home mother with no living sons she was deemed unimportant. They let her die. Chayan had to watch all of that while knowing there was a world out here where she could have gotten help.”
Silas’ hand wrapped around hers and squeezed. He didn’t say the obligatory I’m sorry or any of the other platitudes she’d heard over the years. He just sat there, holding onto her. The quiet solidarity touched her more than words ever could.
Did he understand now?
“Can you forgive me for having a stupid plan?” She laughed bitterly at herself to keep from crying.
“You didn’t have a stupid plan. You didn’t know it wouldn’t work. Besides, look how far you got on your own? That’s impressive, Ekko. I’m just glad I’m here to help with the next steps.”
She rolled her eyes. “I guess I owe Miranda, Andrea and their team a thank you.”
Silas frowned. “Who is Miranda?”
“Andrea’s boss. You didn’t meet her?”
“No. Andrea’s married to my boss. I only talked to her.”
“Oh. Well, they’re all good people.”
“I’d say.” His lips curved up in a smile.
He really was a handsome man.
One of her worst ideas had been kissing him, because now she knew what it felt like to be at the center of this man’s focus. Even if only for a few seconds. She’d love nothing more than to lose herself in those feelings right now. To shut out the day they’d just had and simply enjoy one another. But she wasn’t a fan of rejection.
He squeezed her hand a little tighter while his thumb kept swiping over her knuckles. “I’m going to see what we have in terms of food and activate the security system, which will put us on lockdown for the night. Need anything?”
“No. No, I’m good.”
Ekko swallowed and pulled away from him. Her cheeks heated. Here she’d been rolling around in the idea of kissing him again and he was focused on the job. God, she had to stop thinking about him like that.
SILAS HAD SET UP temporary security systems hundreds of times during his days with Aegis Group. It was one of the most routine things he did. The motions were so ingrained in him that they were their own kind of meditative exercise. Only this time going through the steps didn’t bring him peace.
No, his mind was stuck on the sofa in that moment just staring into Ekko’s eyes and wanting to kiss her.
What kind of a reaction was that? She’d just told him the horrific story about watching her brother executed on public television and Silas wanted to make out with her?
Something was seriously fucked up in him, but he’d already known that. Now it was just front and center.
He pressed the final button activating the security system. He expected the perimeter notifications about neighbors coming and going would wear on him, but it was worth it to be prepared. Now nothing could get in or out of the condo without him aware of it.
His stomach growled, reminding him that their lunch eaten on a bus was hours ago.
Silas peered around the main area of the condo, but Ekko was nowhere to be seen. She’d taken the duffle to one of the rooms to divide their stuff.
Good.
He needed to get his head on straight before they spent any more time around each other. This arrangement had been easier when she was simply the camera hungry bitch. Seeing past all that and listening to why she’d constantly pushed him away made him understand her. And damn it if he didn’t respect and like her. How could he not like a woman who put this bat shit crazy plan together?
They just had to keep their distance and get through this. That was all.
Silas entered the galley kitchen and opened the freezer.
Standard job fare was usually something along the lines of lasagna. Lots of carbs and meat, single dish, filling and easy to get. He found several silver trays in the freezer.
He peered at the label.
It sure as hell wasn’t lasagna.
Was he reading that right?
Buns?
He looked at two of the other containers, but they were all some variation of bun.
Had Zain set them up with pans of breakfast rolls?
Silas opened the refrigerator, but there wasn’t much in there beyond some bottled water and two medicine bottles. He knew those would be antibiotics and some sort of pain killer.
“You look confused.”
Invisible fingers stroked down his spine.
Silas closed his eyes and sighed. He so did not need to have that kind of reaction to Ekko. But there it was.
He steeled himself and glanced over his shoulder at her. Her hair was wet and up on top of her head in a bun. She wore another pair of yoga pants and a long, loose sweatshirt. Her feet were bare, revealing the light blue of her toe nails. But the thing he noticed most was her eyes. The contacts were gone and she looked back at him with deep brown eyes that seemed more open, friendlier. Eyes that made him want to spend time staring into them.
“Do you know what any of this means?” He pulled one of the pans from the freezer and showed it to her.
“They’re buns,” she said matter-of-factly.
> He frowned. “Yeah, buns. For dinner and lunch?”
“No, they’re buns.” She chuckled and took the pan from him. After glancing at the tiny instructions she pried the lid off. “I guess you don’t eat a lot of Asian food?”
“Not really.”
“Okay, well, buns are a standard food item here. It’s this steamed bread around meat or vegetables. These look like they’re barbeque pork.”
“Well you have my attention at barbeque and pork. How bad can they be?” He reached for the pan.
She batted his hands away. “Oh, no. I think this is my job. I’d like to be able to eat these. Sit over there and keep me company.”
Silas considered telling her no. It was technically his job to meet all the needs of his assets in the field. But how could he argue over who knew what they were doing with the food? When it came to cooking his skills were lacking. So he dutifully circled the counter and pulled out a stool to sit on.
“Chayan still asleep?” he asked.
Ekko never glanced up from the pan. “Yes. I wouldn’t be surprised if he slept every moment he can. He hasn’t had the chance to grieve and it has to be exhausting always watching over your shoulder.”
“I’ll say,” Silas muttered.
Ekko set the pan down and spent a moment poking in the cabinets, pulling out odd looking pots.
“No one ever teach you how to cook?” she asked after a few moments of silence.
“I grew up in a very traditional, Mexican household.” He smiled fondly thinking about his mother. “My mother would have died if I was in her kitchen doing anything more than shucking corn or peeling potatoes.”
“Seriously? You’re a women belong in the kitchen kind of guy?”
He sighed and leaned on the counters. “No. But that’s how my mother was raised and seeing as I don’t want to piss my mother off, I respect those boundaries. I’ve had enough chanclas upside my head I wasn’t about to violate my mother’s domain.”
“Chancla?” Ekko frowned. “What’s that?”
“It’s a sandal. Generations of women have weaponized them.”
“What?” Ekko chuckled. “Are you being serious?”
“Dead serious. I always knew when I’d really screwed up because my mother didn’t say, wait until your father gets home, she’d just take her chancla off and beat me with it.”
Ekko stared at him a moment. “You’re joking.”
He shook his head and chuckled. “No.”
“Oh my God.” She grinned and laughed.
“I thought everyone knew about the chancla.”
“My parents were scientists. That wasn’t really their way of disciplining us.” She transferred the buns from the pan into a basket looking thing and set it over a pot of water. “They were more likely to make me write a paper about why I was wrong to do what I did.”
Silas grimaced. “A paper? Now that’s cruel.”
“And beating you with a sandal isn’t?”
“No, that just beats some sense into you.”
Ekko snorted.
Silas propped his chin on his hand. “I think I always deserved it. I don’t want my mother to sound like she abused me or anything. I was a difficult kid, and I needed a strong hand to keep me in line. She wasn’t the same way with my sisters or my younger brother.”
She arched a brow at him. “You’re saying you were a hard headed problem child?”
“Yeah.”
Ekko braced her hands on the counter and grinned at him. “I can’t imagine that. You have a big family?”
“Yeah, we’re kind of the stereotypical, Mexican family. I’ve got two brothers and four sisters. Lots of family drama at all times. Tons of little kids running around everywhere.”
“Wow. How did your parents support that many kids? Sorry, that’s invasive.”
“Nah. My dad owned an auto body shop. We were never rich, but we didn’t go hungry.”
“How did you end up here?” She leaned her elbows on the counter, almost mirroring his pose.
“We’re talking about me now? Huh?” Silas could say a lot about his path to this moment, but in the end it was simple. “Not a lot of options for a kid like me. My parents could only put one or two of us through college, and that was never going to be me. I don’t have the patience for school like my sisters or my little brother. So I joined the Marines. Did my time there, then started working for Aegis Group.”
“That’s it? That’s the whole story?”
He shrugged. “That’s the simple version.”
She narrowed her gaze and studied him for a few moments.
It struck him then that this didn’t feel like a moment on a job. There was a far more intimate vibe to this. Almost as if they were two people hanging out at their leisure and not hiding out. Knowing more about her and understanding what she’d lost in life only made him want to give her a second chance. She was a strong woman with the drive to make changes.
He couldn’t afford to be attracted to her and like her. One was a distraction. Both were a recipe for disaster. It was good and all to figure out a balance so they could work together, but he couldn’t have her looking at him like she wouldn’t mind giving that kiss another go.
“What do you want to hear?” he asked and steeled himself for his next words. “About how my partner and I got to liking our job a little too much? Or how my wife left me?”
“You were married?” Ekko tilted her head.
“For a hot minute, yeah.”
“What do you mean you mean that you liked your job too much?”
“In the Marines I got partnered with a guy—Paxton. We were a sniper team. He’d line up the shot while I watched his back. We were good at what we did, but that’s the kind of job that wears on you after a while.”
“You and Paxton must have been close?”
“He’s my best friend. Like a brother to me.” Silas glanced away. He really didn’t want to talk about Paxton.
“What’s he doing now?”
“Now?” Silas glanced at his watch and did the math. “Right about now I imagine he’s sleeping at his girlfriend’s apartment.”
“You don’t like her?”
“What?” Silas scowled. “Coco’s good people. She’s good for him.”
“That doesn’t mean you like her though.”
He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. No part of him wanted to talk, and yet, this thing with Paxton was coming to a head. He had to deal with it. “Pax and I have been a team for ten years. He has a new partner now. It’s an adjustment. That’s all.”
“Oh, I see.” Ekko grinned. “You’re jealous.”
He scowled at her. “I am not jealous.”
“Your best friend has someone new. You’re jealous. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I am not jealous,” Silas said again all the while the lie sank its teeth into him.
“Okay, say whatever you want. You’re not jealous that your friend’s happy with his good people girlfriend.”
“I am happy for him,” Silas snapped. “If anyone deserves to find someone it’s Pax.”
He meant those words, too. While Silas had grown up in a big, boisterous family that enveloped people in love, Paxton had lived a nightmare. Though Silas had reservations about Coco in the beginning, it was clear those two had a deep connection.
“All of this just happened, didn’t it?”
“It’s been a few months.” But that was nothing compared to the years that he and Paxton had been partnered.
“But it’s still new enough for you. You’ll figure it out. And if it’s a permanent kind of thing, then you’ve gained a new sister.”
Silas barked a laugh. “I’m pretty sure my family scared her the first time she met them.”
“Oh, so this girlfriend’s already met your family? That sounds serious.”
“Her name’s Coco, and yeah. I think they’re very serious.” Silas took a deep breath. He’d get used to sharing his best friend, eventually.
“I wouldn’t have pegged you as the territorial best friend type. It’s kind of sweet. A little weird, but sweet.”
Silas just glared at Ekko.
Great. She thought he was sweet now.
“Is dinner almost done?” he asked.
She turned and examined the buns in the steaming pot. “Not yet, I don’t think.”
Silas slid off the stool. He wanted to move, to do something. This time with her felt too normal, too good. It had to stop.
What was wrong with him?
He was acting like he couldn’t resist her, when he damn well could control himself.
“You watch that. I’m going to go wake Chayan up.” Silas could use someone else to talk to. They were just dealing with heightened emotions and stress. That was it. Nothing more or less.
8.
Friday. Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.
Pasley felt as though his shoes were full of rocks. Every step was an effort.
He wasn’t tired, he just didn’t want to succeed at this job.
After reviewing the security footage at the airport that morning he’d thought they’d for sure find the two targets. It was just a matter of time. And he hated the idea of taking them back into custody. Only, as the hours went on and they didn’t find them Pasley’s hope grew.
Could the two targets have evaded them? Were they gone?
He’d said a few silent prayers to whatever gods were listening that the targets would somehow make it out of the country. Pasley didn’t want to have to kill them. Not after he’d learned more about them. But neither could he simply allow them to slip through his grasp.
If Pasley didn’t do his job to the best of his ability, it would be all too easy for someone like his partner to breathe a word of suspected treason and Pasley would be dead. There would be no quiet, pastoral life for him. He was trapped by his job and his country.
Dangerous Connections (Aegis Group Book 9) Page 10