“No thanks,” I muttered, pushing it away.
He squeezed between me and Ashley, casually leaning back against the sticky bar. “Come to see me play? Clearly you were impressed last time. Or maybe you can’t get enough of this,” he suggested with a gesture up and down his tall, teddy-bear-thick yet strong form. He wagged his eyebrows playfully and I snorted, rolling my eyes jokingly.
“You’re in a band?” Ashley asked, leaning forward in attempt to get in his line of sight.
“Did you hear something?” he asked me, rudely ignoring Ashley.
Her face burned scarlet with rejection. She looked to me, clearly expecting a reaction from me, but I was caught, unsure of what to say without insulting him.
“Whatever,” Ashley muttered as she angrily hopped off her stool and took her soda with her into the crowd.
Tom happily claimed her seat. He shifted it closer to mine until our knees touched. Guilt struck me as I watched Ashley storm across the room. She was upset, but I couldn’t blow off Tom. He was the entire reason I was here.
“So…” I began, shifting back in my seat to free my knees from his. Unsuccessful.
“Soooo,” he mimicked playfully.
“You should talk to Eric,” I stated.
He chuckled with amusement. “Really?”
“He didn’t mean to hit you.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “I don’t care about that. It didn’t even hurt.”
What a terrible liar. I had been there when it happened. I had seen the pain and embarrassment written all over his face. The resulting bruise told the story.
“Then why wouldn’t you talk to him earlier?” I challenged. “At your apartment?”
“I had company, if you know what I mean,” he said with a sly smirk and a suggestive wink.
“And his phone calls?”
He leaned an elbow on the bar, cradling his beer in both hands, and wrinkled his bruised nose with distaste. “He’s so clingy. Doesn’t that ever bother you?” he pried.
“Tom,” I growled.
“Fine! Alright!” he exclaimed, giving in with hands raised mockingly. “What’s he want anyway?”
I lifted my brow innocently, as if Eric didn’t have an agenda. Nope, just a friend wanting to apologize. Tom wasn’t fooled.
“Clearly he wants something.”
“A phone number,” I caved.
Tom leaned back, wide mouth angled in thought. “Whose?”
“Juliet.” Probably not her real name. Given that she was Tom’s ex-girlfriend, it must be what Romeo chose to call her.
He shifted a bit, looking uncharacteristically uncomfortable. “I’m not supposed to,” he mumbled, staring into the thick froth of his dark beer. “She doesn’t want him to have it.”
“Can I have it?”
He smirked devilishly. “Good at finding ways around the rules, are we? I like that.”
“Do you?” I dared with a smirk. He watched my lips and they twitched with nerves.
“Please?” I pleaded with a guilty smile. I gave it my best, flashing white teeth and pretty-pretty-please doe eyes up at him. “Please, Veggie Giant?” I leaned in closer and pouted, sticking out my bottom lip in a way that always got Eric to do what I wanted.
Tom grinned and I knew I had him. Shaking his head, he found a pen on the bar. “You’re gonna get me in a heap of trouble,” he said with a laugh as he took my hand and carefully wrote her phone number on my palm. He added his own below to be funny, then he waved goodbye, miming the universal sign for “call me.” He joined his band in setting up the stage, still grinning.
I reached over the bar, grabbed a napkin from a small stack, and copied Juliet’s phone number onto it. Ashley caught my eye from the crowd. She had been flirting with Eyeliner and gave me a suspicious glance as I tucked the napkin into my pocket. I hopped off my stool and she left the guy behind.
“Got what you came for?” she asked flatly.
I blanched, rubbing the ink off my palm. “What are you talking about?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. This place sucks.”
“Then let’s go,” I said.
TODD:
Tick, tick, tick.
Todd leaned back into the big, expensive chair. He stared at the fancy clock on Masterson’s desk, watching the minutes tick by, listening to the faint sound of well-tuned gears.
Dr. Masterson sat silently opposite him. It was like they were in a contest of who could stay quiet the longest. It was a game Todd always won. Masterson’s pen tapped his notebook, a sign that the round was seconds from over.
“Tell me…” the doc began.
And Todd wins again.
“Why do you continue coming here when you haven’t spoken a word for the past two sessions?”
Good question, Doc. He shrugged in answer. Truth was, he didn’t know why. There was stuff he needed to talk out, but nothing the doc would believe. He supposed he could talk in code, refer to Aurora as crack, but he didn’t want the guy thinking he was off the wagon again. It was hard enough to stay on it lately without people he cared to impress thinking that he wasn’t. Not that he really cared what Masterson thought of him, but at some point he’d made it onto that very short list in Todd’s head of people who don’t completely suck.
He had thought to ditch his sessions, just stop going, but deep down he needed to show. For companionship, he guessed. That must be why. It was what he was lacking in his life, because of a choice he had made.
Tony was so busy lately that he no longer pushed his way in. He would ask to hang out, get shot down, and leave it at that. Pretty soon he wouldn’t even ask anymore. That was what smart people did. How they survived. Todd was drowning and Tony could either try to save him, and likely drown them both, or swim away. Tony was still treading water at his side, waiting for Todd to kick his legs and save himself. Not happening.
The last minute ticked by on the clock and, without a word, Todd gathered his backpack and strode out. Once outside in the crisp fall air, he lit up a cigarette. The white smoke drifted in the breeze and curled around him possessively.
He walked the expanse of blacktop while taking in deep drags, sucking it down to ashes much too quickly. They never lasted long enough. He tossed the butt to the asphalt and slid into the seat of his car. With hands set on the wheel, he felt the familiar rush of impulse to visit Aurora.
So not happening. He hadn’t seen her and he didn’t want to, but every time he got in the car the thought crossed his mind. Like magic.
“Fuck you, Aurora,” he said out loud, hoping that somehow she could hear him. Fucking waste away locked up in that hellhole.
He started his car, and the passenger door flew open. His heart slammed against his ribs just before his only friend slid into the seat.
“Jesus, Tony. You scared the shit out of me.” For a second he had thought it was Aurora, like somehow saying her name summoned her, like Beetlejuice or some crazy-assed shit like that.
Tony ignored him. He wore his usual expensive jeans and black leather jacket. His perfectly trimmed black hair was meticulously gelled up in short spikes. People must have a real laugh looking at the two of them together. They were so goddamn different. Todd’s faded black hoodie, torn jeans, and shabby knock-off sneakers looked especially pathetic when standing next to Tony. He was wrapped in name brands. His squeaky clean life somehow showed through every pore, too. Dammit, he wanted to hate him.
“You didn’t do it, did you?” Tony asked, chocolate brown eyes focused intently on his face. It was a hard, demanding expression that forced Todd to look away.
Todd brushed a hand through his messy brown locks. His bangs fell into his eyes as he let go of the tiny pangs of jealousy he felt every so often around his friend. “No,” he muttered, staring out the window.
Tony eased back into the seat, relieved. “Good.”
Todd drew a cigarette out of the pack in his pocket and lit it up. Tony made a move to stop him, but he backed against the do
or, guarding his bad habit. “My car, my rules. If you don’t like it, get the hell out.”
“At least open the window,” Tony grumbled.
Todd did and hung his hand outside, letting the smoke swirl up over the roof. He blew out a cloud of it and watched it dissipate.
“You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?”
He nodded. There was no point in lying to Tony. He wasn’t in the habit of trying to keep his friends anymore, but of pushing them away.
“Don’t, alright? Just keep everything the same.”
He sighed, hanging his head shamefully. Tony was the one person who knew just how low he had sunk over the past few months and the kind of scum he had been trading with. Sometimes he wished he hadn’t told him. It was fucking embarrassing. But if it weren’t for his help and determination, he wouldn’t have made it this far. He didn’t know where he’d be. A ditch. Or worse, with her.
“It’s just pointless,” Todd argued. “I’m a waste. What kind of shitty psychologist would I make?”
He had been seriously considering changing his majors. Dropping psych and sociology, keeping just English lit. Or maybe dropping college altogether. He didn’t feel qualified to give anyone advice, given how screwed up he was. What business did he have telling other people how to live their lives when his was in the crapper? Every time he dragged it out and washed it off, down it went again. And he was always the one dropping it in. It was a terrible cycle, one he hated, but it just kept on going.
“It’s not a waste. Your education is free,” Tony stressed, sounding the slightest bit jealous.
Todd took a slow drag from his cigarette. “There are tons of people who deserve my scholarship a hell of a lot more than I do. I’m pissing it away when it could do good for someone else,” he admitted.
“Screw everyone else,” Tony snapped.
Todd’s glance shot to his face. That kind of language was unexpectedly vulgar for his squeaky clean friend. His thick, dark brow was low over intense eyes. His cheeks were tinged with pink, a sign that he was nearing the point of losing his temper, an extremely rare and frightening experience. Todd did not want to be on the receiving end of that.
“You’re selfish enough when it comes to destructive habits. Why not try to be with the good stuff?” Tony said, his voice a menacing, frustrated growl. “Besides, with a psych degree, you don’t have to be a counselor. I know that’s what you wanted, but there’s so much more. Stop focusing on everything that’s wrong for a change.” He reached over, snatched the cigarette from Todd’s mouth, and tossed it out the window. “And quit this garbage already. Or do you want to die of lung cancer?”
Todd said nothing, hoping to avoid riling Tony any further.
“Do you?” he demanded, fire glinting in his eyes.
“No,” he grunted in answer, shrinking back from a guy who was half his size.
“Good,” Tony stated harshly. He leaned back into his seat, cheeks still glowing pink. “I’m hungry. Let’s get pizza.”
Todd slowly moved to comply, shifting his car into gear. Tony wasn’t doing what Todd had expected; his whole drowning comparison. Tony wasn’t going to swim off to safety, but he wasn’t going to attempt to pull Todd out either. It seemed Tony was intent on slapping him out of the water. That might actually work for the both of them.
CHAPTER 2
OLD FRIENDS
Ashley clapped her hands sharply. “Take him down!” she yelled, cheering against my boyfriend.
Eric had the ball nestled safely in the netting of his lacrosse stick as he dodged his competitors and raced up the makeshift field. They wore no helmets, pads, or gloves. No uniforms. Since the start of the fall semester, he and his friends had been getting together once a week, taking over the quad to play lacrosse. Eric had missed the last few, but he was back at it today. Only three of the players were on the Weston College team, the rest either used to be or wanted to be on it. Their game was beginning to draw a consistent crowd… mostly girls.
Eric swiped his lacrosse stick; the ball flew past the goalie. A group of freshmen girls squealed in excitement, much to my dislike. Eric gave a quick jab of his fist in victory and jogged a loop behind the goal, high-fiving his teammates, then gave me a wink so I would know that point he scored was for me.
Ashley scowled and took a violent swig of her root beer. “This is boring,” she complained. She set the bottle down and tugged on thin blades of grass, ripping them out by the root. They floated on the wind to where I sat on the ground beside her.
I brushed the murdered blades of grass off my knee and back in her direction. “You wanted to come,” I reminded her.
“Yeah, before I knew he was good at this sport. I just wanted to watch him crash and burn.”
“Then ask him to spell Antarctica or something,” I advised blandly, leaning back on the heels of my hands.
She made a nasty face, lit up a cigarette, and continued to watch the field. The ball changed hands, and once again, Eric got it. She made a sound that was part sigh, part growl. I didn’t care what her issue was. I enjoyed watching Eric run around. I could almost see his toxic level of stress melting away. He loved to win, and if he hadn’t broken his leg freshmen year, he’d be leading our school’s team to victory, I was sure of it. This semester was the first that he had even picked up his lacrosse stick since the team dropped him. It seemed he had come to terms with that and could enjoy his favorite sport once again. And I knew he enjoyed it. It was written all over his face. He loved every second of it. If sports helped him to de-stress and put the pain of our past aside, then I was all for it.
“What are we doing for Halloween? Wild party? Haunted house?” Ashley inquired. She looked to me with a mischievous grin. “We should dress up in matching costumes. Angel and devil. I’ll be the angel, ironically of course.”
“I’m not doing Halloween,” I stated.
“What?” she gasped. “Not doing Halloween? Why?”
“I’m not into it.” I really didn’t think my heart could take a haunted house, not with all the horrors I’d seen lately.
She took a slow drag of her cigarette and let it smolder in her fingers. “I didn’t think you were that vanilla,” she drawled. “Just think on it. You’ll change your mind.”
I really wouldn’t. I wanted no part of a holiday where people intentionally scare you. I had more than enough real things to be scared of. Chainsaw killers were not entertaining to me, not when I’d almost been stabbed to death last spring.
I swallowed hard as I thought about all the Halloweens I’d spent with Aurora. She’d always tried to scare me, and she’d always been successful in that, but nothing scared me more than the truth of who she really was. The sweet, beautiful girl was ugly inside. She was a monster.
Aurora had a long history of trying to kill me. In our first life, she didn’t even know me, but she’d tried to have me burned at the stake, simply because Eric loved me. She was so obsessed with her need to have him that she’d kill just to get an obstacle out of her path.
Thank God Eric had shot her on that beach last spring. If he hadn’t shown up, I’d be dead. Again.
I looked up from the grass, swallowing down my fear of the day Aurora would be released from the Reid-Pearce Mental Health Center. She was locked up now, receiving “treatment” for her envious delusions, but she’d get out. I knew it. Eric knew it, and so did Todd. And we all feared it.
I attempted to push aside my thoughts and focused on Eric. The distraction of his body in motion was therapeutic. The cocky grin on his face made my heart flutter. The wind rushed through his hair. He passed the ball, strong muscles rippling with the motion… I needed a bucket of ice water.
A cold shadow fell over me and I looked up. A girl had just stepped up beside me. She watched the field with arms crossed. The pea green jacket was familiar. The thick brown hair, the freckles…
“Bailey?”
My old roommate glanced down at me, eyes squinting, searching for recog
nition. “Sandy!” she exclaimed in her typically peppy tone. “Oh my gosh! You look so different!”
I climbed to my feet. Ashley stayed sitting and ripped open a bag of Fritos with exaggerated annoyance.
“How have you been?” I asked, brushing dirt and grass from my jeans.
“Good. You?”
“Good,” I confirmed with a sure nod. “Better.”
Guilt flooded her expression, killing her bright disposition. I hadn’t heard from her since I’d had my brain tumor removed. The last time I’d seen her was the morning before I was taken from the art gallery in an ambulance. I didn’t really care that she hadn’t called or anything. I had at the time, but that was over a year ago.
She looked down, awkwardly tapping the toes of her shoes. “Sandy, I-”
“How’s Pete?” I asked, cutting her off before we could dive headfirst into half-hearted apologies.
She shrugged. “We broke up. I’m dating Darren now.” She pointed toward the field, but I couldn’t discern who he was out of the crowd. “I heard you were back and was hoping I’d run into you. I have some things of yours from our old room. I guess they were left behind when your dad moved you out. Clothes and stuff.”
I looked down at myself. They probably wouldn’t fit anymore. I’d filled out a lot since my sickness.
“We could meet up tomorrow if you want, and I’ll bring them. Cafeteria for lunch?”
I nodded. “Okay, sure.”
“Great! I should get to class. See you then.” She gave a hearty wave as I watched her go. I’d liked having Bailey for a roommate. She had been a little too peppy for my taste, but she was always nice.
“You’re friends with that bitch?” Ashley muttered. “Wow.”
I chose to ignore her brash, judgmental ways and focused back on the game. The ball changed possession quickly, going from Eric to his friend Steve, then Jonah, then back again. Just after Eric passed it on, some guy tackled him. Hard.
For a moment, the world muted around me. Eric crumpled on impact. All I could hear was the solid thud as they crashed to the ground in a tangled heap.
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