Eric nudged my panties aside. He gently kissed my lips, and at the same moment, he touched my body in a way I had never been touched before. I jerked on instinct, but settled immediately, helplessly watching his intense eyes and softly returning his kiss, letting him know that it was safe to continue.
My eyelids fluttered and my breath quickened as his touch deepened. It felt like he had pressed pause on my brain. I couldn’t be sure of anything I was doing. Was I dreaming? Was I high? I sure felt it. Nothing seemed completely real. It felt too good to be real. My toes curled in my sneakers, and I moaned into his mouth.
A tremor of rough desire pulsed up through me, and my hands gripped my pillow tightly. Reality rushed me. This was real. I wasn’t dreaming. Eric was doing things to me I’d never even fantasized about, but I should have. When he touched me like this, my brain sparked with a rush I could barely comprehend. I hated and loved that feeling at the same time.
Finally, I understood Todd’s love and hate of drugs. His addiction to a feeling like nothing else. And his fear of it. The emotion I felt when Eric came close made me feel more than I ever had. I wanted it, I needed more, and I felt control over my own body slip from my grasp. Emotion controlled. Hormones ruled. And brain function became impossible. I’d always liked having some sense of control in my life. I craved it, but for some reason, losing control felt so good when I was with Eric.
My back arched, and I pressed into Eric’s hand, demanding more of what he was giving me. Instinct moved me, grinding my hips. My eyes struggled to stay locked on his face and not roll back into my head in submission to his power over me. I wasn’t ready to let go of control-not completely. It felt like I was playing a dangerous game, testing the limits of my own will, unsure of how much I could handle before losing myself to him.
His blue eyes soaked in the flush burning my cheeks and the soft groans escaping my throat at each all-consuming, languid movement of his hand on my body. He shifted closer, inching deeper. His tongue traced my lower lip and nibbled at my skin. Ripples of pleasure wound through my body, coiling my limbs, making my fingertips feel numb, trapped in a web woven of burning desire.
His mouth firmed against mine, our kisses growing deeper. His tongue pushed past my lips, circling mine. Our mouths were wide, our wet tongues stroking salaciously, mirroring the motion below. His mouth nearly smothered me as his hand claimed my body for his own.
A feeling was building, culminating, molten and tight. I cried out from the frustration of it, I couldn’t help it. And I couldn’t even find the mind to be embarrassed by it. He groaned against my mouth in answer, his hand working the same motion, over and over, as if trying to push me to insanity. The small part of me still capable of thought wondered if Eric was losing control in the same way that I was. If he was as lost to me as I was to him. That thought was extra frightening, but so small compared to the crackling electricity between us.
My skin broke into a hot sweat. Our breathing grew ragged, harsh and panting. My tattered will battled my hormones. Something was happening between us, something more than I could handle.
My hands abandoned my pillow and reached for him, frantically driving my fingers into the soft tousles of his gelled hair. It wasn’t enough. I needed more. I pulled at his shirt, yanking it up to his shoulders and dragging it over his head, tangling him in it. His devious hand left my body, but my hormones didn’t care. There was something else they wanted more.
I ached for him. All those times we’d stopped in the past now seemed like complete insanity. I had a habit of taking things further than I was ready for, and it hadn’t been easy to stop before. But now, my body was staging a revolt.
I tugged his shirt off the rest of the way, tossed it to the floor and roughly yanked at the waist of his jeans. He fell forward over me. His fist hit the mattress beside my head, and his mouth covered mine. Our tongues clashed between our teeth, our mouths ravaging each other. I could feel his heart’s pounding vibrate through every inch of my body.
I frantically loosed and shoved Eric’s jeans down his thighs. He ripped away from my mouth, gasping for air, but I wasn’t letting him go. I pulled him closer, violently dragging him on top of me. He tugged at my jeans, fighting the tight fabric, but it fought back, clinging to my skin, refusing to slide lower. Damn tight jeans.
I heard a car door slam outside. Ice shot through my veins, and I tore my lips from Eric’s kiss.
“Stop, stop,” I gasped, suddenly vividly aware of what was happening. Neither of us was in control, and one of us needed to be. “Eric, wait!”
He groaned deep in his throat. His fist crushed the pillow, and he buried his face in my neck, panting heavily.
I scrambled out from under him and rushed to my window with a view of the driveway. Lightheaded, I crashed into the windowsill. My driveway was still empty. It had been our neighbor’s car I’d heard.
I sighed with relief, but a molten wave of heat rushed over my face. Oh my God! My jeans were halfway down my hips. My shirt was rumpled, and I didn’t even know what to think of my hair. I kept my back to Eric and fixed my clothes as quickly as I could, before my body could overthrow my brain again.
“My parents will be home soon,” I forced myself to say. The words came out rushed, harsh and painful with embarrassment. From the time on my clock, they could walk in at any moment. My body didn’t seem to care, but my mind was beginning to.
Stars dotted my vision from my quick motions. I couldn’t catch my breath. My hands curled into fists as I stood there, willing my body to settle down.
I forced myself to turn toward Eric. His face appeared grim as he slowly tugged his jeans back up his legs.
“I’d rather you at least make it through dinner before they kick you out,” I said, breathy and daring a glance at his face.
He let out a short, odd chuckle, then grinned guiltily at me. He’s so sexy. Lounging on my bed, he looked like he was posing for a magazine spread. He was too much for me. Too tall, too strong, too gorgeous, and too understanding of my standoffish ways. My body’s muscles constricted, aching without him. I craved his hands on me. I wanted to dive back into his arms and pick up where we left off, but I couldn’t. This wasn’t the time. And… I didn’t think I was ready. Not yet.
As the heat generated by Eric’s touch began to cool, my cheeks burned, as if stealing all the heat for themselves. My hands trembled violently. My legs, my entire body felt weak.
Eric’s eyes were drunk with lust. He had that same pained, frustrated look to his brow that I knew mine must have as well. I could feel that magnetizing pull in his gaze, yanking at me, reeling me in. I backed away, making a conscious effort to put space between us.
His shirt was by my feet. I bent down, a bit wobbly, and tossed it to him. Eric caught it and tipped his head imploringly. “I’m sorry I let it get that far. I shouldn’t have-”
I shook my head at him, unable to say anything but stopping his apology with the motion. My mind was scattered. My brain felt pummeled. I had been trampled by lust. He watched me go to the mirror. I combed trembling fingers through my hair, raking it back into place while I gathered my wits.
“I like the purple,” he said hoarsely, coming to my defense from the argument earlier.
“So do I,” I said in an uneven breath.
My eyes dared to roam over his body. His shirt was back in place, his hair perfect again. He looked amazing. And he was mine. I’d almost had sex with the sexiest man I’d met in centuries. An involuntary smile spread over my crimson face. I bit my lip to mask it, but nothing could stop this wide, giddy grin. I turned my head away, hiding behind my hair.
With the retreat of my gaze, he slumped back to the bed with a defeated sigh. “You drive me wild, Daf.”
My eyes shot back to where he lay. “Daf?” My mind reeled in a search for some reason behind the sudden nickname. “Like Daffy Duck?” I shot back.
He chuckled and shifted on the mattress, tugging at his jeans to get comfortable. “No, like�
� I don’t know. You’ve got my head all scrambled. Lemme try again. I love you, sexy girl.”
I blushed more fiercely, if that was even possible, and faced the mirror, biting my bottom lip. I loved it when he called me sexy, and unlike the first few times he’d said it, I was beginning to feel that way. Especially when his eyes were eating me up, like now.
About twenty minutes later, my hair was neatly brushed, my body nearly calm once more, and my parents’ car rolled into the driveway. Eric fiddled with a napkin, folding it about a hundred different ways by the counter while I sat at the kitchen table, re-tying my sneaker for the millionth time. We’d kept to opposite ends of the kitchen, watching the turkey and trying to keep from going back to my bedroom. It felt wrong to be so separate after what we’d done, but we couldn’t chance a touch. Even handholding seemed too erotic. Everything led our minds right back to my bed.
When the front door opened, I led the way to the living room. Eric trailed behind, cheeks pink, either from what we had done earlier or from nervousness over meeting my grandma. I couldn’t be sure which.
My dad stepped inside, carrying two large bakery bags. My dad didn’t hug me. Normally he wouldn’t, not unless I’d just had a near-death experience. He was never a warm person, but for some reason, I felt like it was because of what I had done with Eric, like he knew what I had been up to in his house. It was an outlandish thought, but instinctual.
“Hi, Dad,” I called out hopefully.
He grumbled a hello, then his eyes lifted to Eric. Chills raced through me at the cold look in my father’s eyes. Eric smiled politely, as he had with my mom. He said hello and offered to take the bags. My father brushed past us without a word, heading into the kitchen.
I felt like I had just been slapped, but it was Eric who bore the brunt of the snub. He took it better than I did. My mother hustled after my father, leaving us alone with my grandma by the front door.
“Grandma, this is Eric. My boyfriend,” I said apprehensively.
She shuffled forward with her cane, taking his hand. “He’s very handsome,” she whispered to me in a not-so-secret voice. “And so tall.”
I smiled as a weight lifted off my chest. At least one of my family members approved—because we had something wonderful, and it wasn’t going away, no matter how much they objected.
“Eric, be a dear,” she said. She gripped his arm and used him to help her walk into the dining room. I knew Eric would be safe from my parents for tonight. Grandma would see to that.
I followed my parents to the kitchen but hesitated at the doorway. They were unloading the bags of bread and pies, speaking in hushed, harsh tones. I strained to hear what they said.
“-too much, Linda,” my father grumbled. “And now he’s here. In our house.”
“You agreed. We promised.”
“I know. But I never said I would enjoy it,” he stated.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, stepping into the kitchen. My question was a dare, to see if they’d say it to my face. They clearly didn’t want Eric here, despite inviting him.
“Everything’s fine, Cassandra,” my father said. He finally met my eyes. “It’s good to have you home.”
I stood, dumfounded for a moment. That was the sweetest thing my dad had said to me in a long time. He may not have hugged me, he may not be welcoming to Eric, but I was sure now that at least he didn’t hate me.
I backed out of the room with a nod, sensing it was what they wanted, and returned to the dining room. My grandma and Eric sat at the cherry wood table, chatting in light conversation. His farm upbringing was something he had in common with my late grandfather, and her eyes sparkled as he spoke. I slipped into the chair beside his.
“Cassandra visited over the summer. She’s a natural at horseback riding,” Eric mentioned.
I shook my head dismissively. I wasn’t a natural. I’d just done it in past lives and remembered how. Though, it had been impressive at the time; I’d give him that.
“Yes, I heard all about it,” my grandma added, giving me a small smile. “She quite enjoyed it. I wanted to pay for riding lessons when she was younger, but her mother is very protective of her.”
“She was afraid I’d fall and hurt myself,” I explained dryly. “She wouldn’t let me ice skate either. The blades,” I explained. My mother’s worrying had stopped me from doing many things I’d wanted to try, gymnastics included. And sleepovers at places other than the house next door. Oddly enough, sleeping over at Aurora’s was probably the most dangerous thing she could have let me do. And I’d done it nearly once a week for years.
My grandma reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “We’re all protective of you dear. We will never have another you. Isn’t that right, Eric?”
He smiled softly. “She’s irreplaceable.”
I blushed fiercely and looked down. They continued in conversation, discussing the animals Eric’s family had at the farm. The cows, chickens, and horses I knew about. I didn’t know about the bees. Or the goats. Eric grinned as he explained the pride his hometown had for his family’s honey.
He seemed to have overcome the snub from my parents. His expression showed some happiness in finally feeling accepted by someone in my life. He needed that. We both did. Everything was always working against us. It was a relief to have someone rooting for us for a change. And with my grandma on our side, maybe my mother’s stance could be swayed. She had invited Eric here, after all. Hope was in every aspect of our lives right now.
I slipped away and skipped up the stairs to get a sweater. By the time I tracked down one that matched my shirt, I heard a rumbling engine outside. My heart skipped a beat. I knew that sound.
My movements slowed with nerves as I pulled my arms into the warm weave of my sweater and crept down the stairs. When I reached the dining room, I stopped suddenly. Todd was sitting at the table catty-corner to Eric, with his back to me. My grandma had gone to the kitchen, so it was just the two of them. I stood awkwardly in the entryway, never having expected to see Todd there. Eric met my eyes with an encouraging look, and Todd glanced back at me.
“Sup?” he greeted blandly, as if we hadn’t been estranged for months. As if it was just another day of our paths crossing, like when we both lived in this house.
I slowly claimed the seat across from him, emotions mixing and tangling to a rock in my gut. I didn’t know how to respond to seeing him. I was angry with him for never calling me back and kicking me out of his apartment. But I was also happy to see him whole and healthy. He didn’t look as sick and tortured as the last time I’d seen him.
“Talkative,” he said sarcastically, leaning back and crossing his muscular arms.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Your mom invited me.”
I leaned forward intently. “And you came?”
He shrugged indifferently. “I’m hungry, so here I am.”
I didn’t believe that for a second. He had an agenda. He had to. There was no way that he would ignore me for so long and then just accept an invite from my mom. Why would she have invited him anyway? She hated him more than she hated Eric. Todd saw all the questions in my eyes, so he looked away.
“Tony told me you got a cat,” I said.
“Got? No. It broke in.”
“Oh,” I uttered softly in confusion. “Did you keep it?”
“Hell no,” he answered quickly, looking down at the floor.
“Why not?”
“I don’t need a cat. I tossed her in a dumpster.”
My jaw dropped in horror.
“How could you?” I demanded.
His eyes met mine with an indifferent expression. “Right before trash pickup, too. She’s probably queen of the dump by now, if she survived the trip.”
“You’re such a jerk!” I yelled, pushing my chair back quickly. The feet scraped along the floor.
Eric nudged my arm. He tipped his chin down, motioning under the table. I ducked down to see a gray cat lying o
n Todd’s foot.
“That was terrible,” I muttered hatefully, heart still pounding with anger.
“What kind of person do you think I am?” He picked up his cat and gingerly set her on his lap. She stretched, guiding his hand to stroke along her spine. “I’d never put Mimi in a dumpster.”
“Does my mom know that you brought a cat here?”
“She does. I wasn’t about to spend Thanksgiving without my Mimes. She isn’t ready to stay home alone.” He affectionately brushed her ears down with his wide palm. “I don’t know why your mom even wants me here.”
“So why did you come?”
“To find out. You know how I get when I have a question that needs answering.”
“Relentless?”
He smirked proudly.
Instantly the books came to mind, and I looked to Eric. Reading my thoughts, he subtly shook his head. I leaned back in my seat, wishing that I could tell Todd the good news, but I had been sworn to secrecy. It wasn’t worth risking our chance of getting those books. Julie wanted a secret, so a secret we shared.
Todd was oblivious to my and Eric’s exchange. He was too focused on the cat pawing his chest and sniffing his face. I smiled, watching Todd back away, pretending that he didn’t adore the skinny cat on his lap. He absolutely did. He never would have kept her otherwise.
“You named her Mimes?” I asked.
“Mimi. Like the ‘merry-go-round cat,’” he added. I gave him a confused look. “Ya know, that book? I used to read it to you… and never mind,” he said. “This is one fucked-up cat,” he complained, gently setting her back on the floor. “Major abandonment issues. She won’t even let me piss in private.”
I chuckled. That must drive him crazy. He was always such a loner.
I caught Todd staring at me with the most heartbreaking look in his eye, but he quickly masked it beneath a thick layer of indifference. He opened his mouth, looking like he wanted to say something, but instead got up and left the room. His cat trotted quickly after him.
I heard the front door open and close as he left.
Envious Deception Page 9