He kissed her again. Whether it was to distract her or seduce her, Katherine didn’t care as long as he continued to hold her. When he was fully seated inside of her, he buried his head into her neck and started to gently roll his hips. She matched his movements, and he groaned against her neck. “You’re my haven.”
He adjusted her again, and she wrapped her legs around his hips. As his movements became more frantic, he deepened his penetration. Everything within her unfolded as if giving him access to her deepest desires and wants. “Christian,” she murmured, holding on tight.
“I feel it too,” he uttered. By now, his member was a piston inside of her. Over and over, he drove into her, claiming her and her body as his. He moved harder and faster until she thought she couldn’t take anymore.
He stilled above her. He clenched his eyes closed. The cords in his neck were pulled taut. The raw power of him above her stole her breath. As his climax claimed him, he roared her name as he pulled out of her body.
At the same time, she whispered, “I love you.” Instantly, her heart flipped in her chest. She held her breath, waiting, but he didn’t respond or even acknowledge her.
Once Christian seemed to realize she was there with him, he slowly gathered her in his arms, then rolled until she rested on top of him. With the gentlest of touches, he brushed the back of his fingers across her cheeks. “You’ve ruined me.”
“How so?” She laughed while leaning into his touch.
“You’ve ruined me for all others.” Christian continued to stroke her cheeks, but his gaze never left hers. “I love you also.”
She concentrated on the dark intensity of his eyes. A thousand reasons to shout for joy rushed through her. He loved her. “Really?”
“Truly.” With the most tender care, he cupped her cheeks. “I never thought I’d find this. Never thought I’d find you.”
The warmth of his body next to hers was a luxury she didn’t think she’d ever get used to. Now, everything had changed. He was an addiction, and she never wanted to be cured. She breathed deep, inhaling the scent of their coupling. She’d remember this moment for the rest of her life. Did all lovers experience such intimacy?
“I have a confession,” he murmured.
“What?” Katherine leaned close and kissed the indentation in his square chin.
An endearing yet sheepish grin tugged at his full lips. “I couldn’t keep away from you if my life depended on it. But why didn’t you let me know you were leaving last night? I would have taken you home.”
“You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you, and Morgan was kind enough to see me home.”
His gaze held hers captive. The weightiness of it made her stomach clench.
“Katherine, I want to redefine our partnership.” The room grew suddenly silent. The exaggerated pulse at the base of his neck matched hers. He took her hand and entwined their fingers then brought their hands to rest next to his heart. “I think we should make it permanent.”
“As in work?” she answered.
A lopsided grin appeared. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you? Have it your way.” A mere second later, she found herself beneath him. He brushed his nose against hers. “My darling Kat, will you marry me? Live the rest of your days with me?”
“Don’t be silly. There’s no need to even consider it. Besides, I don’t expect or want a proposal.” Her acting abilities were phenomenal if she did say so herself, even if her heart raced as if trying to outrun the lie she’d said aloud.
He cradled her cheeks in his hands. But a coolness, almost reprimanding in nature, flashed in his eyes. “I’m serious.” He moved one hand until he cupped her jaw, ensuring she’d not turn from him as he spoke. “I know you said you don’t want to marry again. I’m asking you to reconsider that decision.”
She blinked, then slightly nodded. “I know.”
“You’re too precious to me. More than anything, I want you as my wife.”
Her heart tumbled in her chest. It was everything she’d ever hoped for but couldn’t have.
“Don’t ask me,” she whispered, then pulled away from him to sit up. She wrapped a sheet around her body, then crawled off him, still clutching the sheet. She began to look for her clothing.
“It’s a little late for modesty, don’t you think?” he said.
“Perhaps I’m cold.” She bent down and picked up her chemise and stays.
“Then come back into my arms and let me warm you,” he replied, the seduction in his words unmistakable. “Why don’t you want to marry me?”
Her insides melted at the deepness in his voice. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but I can’t.” Her voice was so low, she didn’t know if he could hear her.
She slipped her chemise over her head. Thankfully, her stays could be worn with the lace in the front.
In a flash of movement, he stood before her, stark naked. Adonis would look like an ordinary man next to Christian. He towered above her with his perfect body, save the scar, a badge of honor. She looked her fill, hoping to remember every inch of his beauty and his grace.
“Don’t look at me like that, or we’ll be back in bed in a trice.” Christian gently placed his hands on her shoulders and held her still with their gazes locked. “Why can’t you?”
Her throat burned as tears flooded her eyes. An ache deep in her chest surged with every heartbeat.
He gently pulled her into his arms. “You can tell me.”
Her cheek rested against the strong beat of his heart. She needed to borrow some of that strength. It was exhausting to keep it all inside. This was the time to tell him the truth. If she trusted him with her body, she could trust him with her secrets. “I’m not who you think I am.”
“Come. Sit with me.” After donning his breeches, he sat on the edge of the bed then pulled her onto his lap.
The breadth and size of his body was something she didn’t know if she’d ever get used to. As her tears fell, he brought her closer and slowly rubbed one hand up and down her spine. The tenderness and comfort he offered made the tears fall faster. If she shared everything that had happened, he’d understand why he couldn’t marry her.
“I have no idea who my father is.” She forced her gaze to his.
He leaned slightly forward and kissed her on the brow. “Is that why you think you can’t marry me?”
She didn’t trust herself to speak without another rash of tears falling so she nodded.
He tilted her chin until their gazes met. “I don’t care. I only care about you.”
“I’m a bastard.”
* * *
Christian tried to contain his shock, but he must have divulged too much by the crushed look on her face. “Sweetheart, help me understand. You told me your father was lost at sea.”
“It was a lie.” Katherine’s voice was so low, it sounded like she was speaking inside a barrel. “Only Willa and Helen know the truth. I didn’t even tell Meri.” She released a shuddered breath. “My mother … was my everything.”
“She taught you well, Kat. I’m so happy you had her in your life.”
She smiled a sad smile through her tears. “I wonder if you will feel that way after I finish. My mother would be proud of my acting abilities because … she was a professional actress. Her stage name was Elise Fontaine. She was a woman who loved me dearly and sacrificed so much for me. She took acting jobs that others cringed at. She took parts where the only payment was the contributions collected at the end of the performance. She didn’t care about her pride because she made certain I was clothed and fed. Most importantly, she made certain I knew I was loved.”
“You were lucky.” It was the only response Christian could think of as his mind reeled with the information she was telling him. He swallowed the sudden thickness in his throat.
She deliberately glanced away. “Yes, I was.”
“I still want to marry you,” he said gently. “I don’t care about your mother’s acting career. I care about you. S
hare my life. Become my duchess.”
“You need to hear everything I have to say. I married your brother with the foolish thought that it would remove the taint from me.” She shrugged slightly, the act so forlorn that he wanted to hold her forever. “Before I met Meri, I learned all the rules and manners expected of a woman in society. I was surprised how easy it was to fool everyone, including him. When he asked me to marry him, I thought I’d captured the Golden Fleece.”
He brushed his lips against hers, then whispered, “I say he had when he married you.”
She shook her head and smiled slightly. “You don’t play fair.”
“I beg to differ. I play honestly.” He kissed an errant tear from one soft cheek. “I don’t care who your father is. I don’t care what your mother did for a living. She taught you how to love, Katherine Greer. And for that, I will always hold her in the highest esteem.” He turned her face slightly, then kissed the three remaining tears. “The truth is, my darling Kat, I can’t let you go. I’ve found the most perfect, astonishingly impressive woman in the world to love. You helped me realize my dream of helping others and giving me a purpose. As long as we’re together, loving each other every day, that’s the only thing that’s important.”
A fresh onslaught of tears fell when she stared at him. Each one stole a piece of his heart.
She looked up to the ceiling and shook her head as if ready to say no. “There’s more. I wasn’t going to tell you, but you deserve the truth.”
He had no idea what was causing her so much pain, and all he wanted was to take it from her and throw it out the window, never to bother her again. The telltale twisting of her of fingers revealed her turmoil. He placed his hand over hers to stop the frantic movement. “Whatever it is, we’ll work through it.”
“I don’t think we can. Shortly after my mother died, Willa went to take care of a cousin who lived about twenty miles away. She thought she’d be gone a day, but it turned into several weeks. I didn’t budget my food or coal carefully, and I couldn’t find work. So, I went out one morning, ready to beg on the street.”
By now, tears were streaming down her face. He tried to wipe them all away, but they fell in a river. Each one a reminder of her deep pain.
“Sometimes, we do what we have to in order to survive.” Desperate to give her comfort, Christian brushed his thumb across one of her brows.
“My mother”—she shook her head slowly—“would have been so ashamed of me that day if she’d been alive.” She turned her head. “I stood at the corner of the market district trying to decide what to do. I’d been to every store up and down the street, asking for work. So, I stood there and struggled with what to say as I held my hand out.” She tilted her head, their gazes colliding. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to beg.”
Her voice dropped so low, he had to bend close to hear her.
“A band of boys came running by. They were about my age, but I didn’t recognize them. One of them stopped before me, and said, ‘Hello, angel.’”
A sob racked through her body, and he pulled her closer if that were possible. “Did they hurt you?”
“Not physically,” she sniffed. “He put an apple in my hand, and said, ‘For you.’”
“What happened?” He brushed his fingers across one cheek. For a moment, she leaned against him and he brought her close.
“The grocer came around the corner with a constable. They were out of breath, but you could see the anger in their eyes. The boy who gave me the apple yelled, ‘She did it.’ I didn’t know what they were talking about so I simply stood there. You see, they were shoplifters, and I later discovered that they’d been stealing from the grocer for months.”
“Sweet Jesus,” he whispered. All alone, she would have been at the mercy of the constable. “Did anyone help you?”
“A man named Mr. FitzWilliam came out of his shop. He and his wife owned a local haberdashery. He had seen everything unfold and told the constable that it was the boys and not me.” She shrugged. “It didn’t make any difference. Within the hour, I was hauled in front of the magistrate, convicted, and sentenced to the pillory. I had to repay the grocer for all the stolen goods over the last month.” She leaned her head against his chest as if seeking sanctuary. “I didn’t have a shilling to my name.”
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He rocked her gently.
“Me too,” she answered. “Mr. FitzWilliam appeared and paid my fine, then said if they’d allow it, he’d take me home. Thank God, they let him. From that day forward, I embroidered for him. He helped me design my first linens.” Her tears were slowing, but her nose was red. “I’ve never felt so ashamed and humiliated. People jeered at me as Mr. FitzWilliam took me to his shop. He explained to his wife what had happened, and they fed me and had me stay with them until Willa returned.”
His heart hurt for all she suffered. A young girl grieving the loss of her mother, then dealing with the terror of being falsely accused.
She took a deep breath, then turned her face up to his. “That’s why I can’t marry you.” She shook her head. “But please don’t say a word to anyone.”
“I promise I won’t.” He ran a finger down her long neck. “If I could find those people, I’d put them all in the pillory.”
“I’d like to see that.” She chuckled briefly, then turned serious. Her brow furrowed in pain. “Do you know that to this day, I can’t eat an apple without retching? I hate the sight of them.”
“They’ll never be served at our tables. I promise you that.”
“But don’t you see? It’ll never work. The church will never allow us. You’ll be mocked and your reputation ruined if you associate with me,” she argued.
“Don’t worry about the church. I promise we’ll be able to marry. What’s important is right inside here.” He pointed his finger to the middle of her chest. “This is what makes you who you are. I see a woman of the highest integrity who I love with everything I am. And do you know what’s amazing?”
She swallowed, then shook her head.
“She loves me in return. I know when something rare and precious is in front of me, Kat. It’s you.” He dipped his head and pressed another gentle kiss to her sweet mouth. “Marry me,” he softly pleaded.
“What if someone finds out about York?” The yearning in her gaze gave him hope.
“We’ll deal with it then. But I don’t care. Do you believe me?”
She nodded hesitantly. The fringe of her spiked lashes rested against her cheeks. Slowly, she opened her eyes, revealing an unfathomable depth he’d never seen before.
“Please say yes.” He had no idea how she was going to answer. With the silence surrounding him, Christian couldn’t breathe as he waited for her response.
“Christian … I will marry you.”
He exhaled all his apprehension and pulled her tightly against him. “You will never regret it. I promise.”
“I only hope you won’t,” she murmured.
“Never.” He tilted her chin an inch. With infinite slowness, he lowered his lips to hers. He poured everything that he was and would be in the future into their kiss. Each second that passed was a promise he’d put her first in his life always. The same for any children that came from their marriage. He would give her that dream of a marriage and a happy life. More importantly, if it was within his power, she would never have to worry about the past again.
* * *
They didn’t tarry at Katherine’s shop. After they dressed, they quickly made their way to her home to speak with Constance.
It was such a whirlwind. On the carriage ride over, not a minute seemed to go by without Christian leaning over for a kiss. Of course, Kat returned the gesture with one of her own. She was bursting with happiness. Christian loved her, and they would marry even after she’d told him the truth. Just remembering his tender proposal made her feel as if anything and everything were possible in her life.
They’d agreed the soiree would be in two weeks. T
hough it wasn’t much time to prepare, Christian had assured her that Wheatley and Morgan were up to the task of preparing the house for the party. They’d decided that Kat would ask Helen for help in developing the guest list. As the premier London hostess, Helen knew practically everyone in society. Finally, Christian had convinced Kat that they should announce their betrothal at the end of the event.
Shortly, they arrived at her house and made their way upstairs, where they met Willa on the landing with a basket of laundry. Willa’s gaze skimmed Kat’s face. “You look like the cat licking the stolen cream from its whiskers.” She turned to Christian. “You also, Duke.”
Christian bent close to Willa’s ear. “You’re looking at the future Duchess of Randford.”
Willa reared back with a grin. “You don’t say?” She dropped the basket, then tugged Kat into her arms. “I’m so happy for ye, lass.”
A fresh set of tears, this time happy ones, erupted. “Thank you.”
Willa eyed her again and nodded. “You chose well.”
“Thank you for saying that,” Christian said softly. “I’ll take excellent care of her.”
“You better,” Willa teased. “I don’t wanna have to use my evil eye on ye.”
“We’re here to tell Constance about the Earl of Sykeston,” Christian said.
Willa let out a sigh. “I hope there’s good news for that sweet lass too.”
“There is,” Kat said.
Willa grinned, then escorted them to Constance’s bedroom door. “The duke is ’ere tae see ye.”
Both Constance and Beth looked up from their reading. Each of their faces was expressionless. Constance nodded, then straightened as best she could into a sitting position. She seemed on the verge of giving birth. How could a human body stretch like that? Truly, it showed that women were the stronger of the human race if they could tolerate such an amazing physiological transformation.
“Come in, Your Grace.” Beth stood and pulled a chair close to Constance’s side.
A Duke in Time--The Widow Rules Page 27