by Emma Shae
Vanessa hesitated for a few seconds, and then she continued, “Sasha, I know that it has been lonely for you here, away from all of your family, and friends. I want you to know that you can invite your father over any time you like. This home is your home now. If you have friends that you would like to visit you, please feel free to invite them as well. I want you to feel comfortable here.”
“I have a bit of news to share with you, too. Yesterday, I received notice from Emry’s attorney on that island that he moved to, that Emry passed away a few days ago. I know that you never had any real feelings for Emry, and that is understandable. You were never really man and wife, and he was a hard man to love. He never cared for anyone except himself, and nothing mattered to him except the money. However, with his passing, the dynamic of our situation has changed.”
“You are a widow now, Sasha, and no longer obligated in any way to Emry. You are free to pursue the future that you had planned for yourself before you met me. I know that you planned to attend college, and now you will have the funds that you need to fulfill that dream. You are also free to go forward with your love life and see whoever you desire. I want you to be happy, Sasha.”
Sasha was taken by surprise at what Vanessa had just said to her. She could feel her excitement building, but she wasn’t sure if her excitement was due to what Vanessa had just said, or merely hormonal changes. At any rate, Sasha was thrilled.
Vanessa had just given Sasha her permission to date. Sasha wondered if that included Damon.
Thinking about Damon made Sasha realize how much she had missed him. However, Sasha had no way of getting in touch with him. Sasha didn’t have Damon’s phone number or his address. She didn’t even know his last name. Getting in touch with Damon was not going to be an easy task. Sasha wondered if he remembered their time together as fondly, as she did.
It had been seven months since she last saw Damon. In that period, he hadn’t attempted to communicate with her or even inquire about the baby. Sasha knew that he had promised Vanessa that he wouldn’t contact her, but Sasha had still hoped that he would at least try to check on her condition.
It could be that Damon didn’t feel the same way about Sasha that she felt about him. She hoped that wasn’t the case, but she had no way of knowing for sure.
With Vanessa giving her freedom to see whomever she desired, Sasha wondered if Vanessa would include Damon on the list of people that she could date, or if Vanessa would feel that he was someone that shouldn’t be allowed back into their lives.
Sasha was unsure about how to approach Vanessa regarding Damon. Vanessa had always been the liaison between the two of them for their clandestine meetings, so Sasha knew that Vanessa was aware of how to get in touch with Damon. Sasha just had to figure out how to get Vanessa to share that information with her without seeming to brazen.
Vanessa was a very proper lady and expected everything and everyone to meet her high standards. She enjoyed her privacy and intended that others respect it as well.
Vanessa had secrets that Sasha was not privileged to know about, and Sasha was respectful of that privacy. However, with this new freedom that Vanessa was giving to Sasha, she needed to know if Vanessa intended for Damon to remain, one of those well-kept secrets.
Sasha did not want to upset Vanessa in any way. She had just begun to gain Vanessa's trust and didn't want to damage that in any fashion. Sasha was in a quandary over how to approach Vanessa with her questions, without offending her. Sasha was beginning to feel like she was a part of Vanessa’s family and didn’t want to do anything that might damage their relationship. Sasha would have to figure out a graceful way of handling her predicament before moving forward.
While Sasha contemplated her predicament, Vanessa spoke, saying, “Sasha, I’m going to have Burton add an addendum to my will, with a provision in it for the baby. I’m also making a provision in it for you. It will take care of both you and the baby if anything should happen to me. I don’t want you to worry about your future livelihood, and this addition will take care of both of you for a very long time.”
Sasha didn’t know what to say. She was happy that the baby was going to be taken care of, but she never expected anything from Vanessa for herself.
“Vanessa, I don’t know what to say. Thank-you, of course, I’m so thankful that my baby will be taken care of, and I know that you will always love him and see after him if anything should ever happen to me. I’m surprised that you included me in this gift, but I’m most appreciative.
Vanessa smiled and continued, “I have grown very fond of you in the few months that I have known you, Sasha. I want you to be happy and feel at home here. I trust your judgment for your future choices. I know that your meetings with Damon were brief, but I think that during the short time the two of you spent together, you developed feelings for him. Correct me if I’m wrong.”
“Damon and I agreed from the very beginning of our relationship that it was to be a temporary one. We signed a legal document with you outlining that agreement. We both agreed that out of respect for you and your family, we would refrain from seeing each other after I became pregnant. I want you to know that we have kept that promise, and haven’t seen, or spoken, to each other since returning from our cruise.”
“Yes, you have both been very considerate of my ethics, and I appreciate that. However, I had Burton void that contract, as I told you that I would. So, neither of you are obligated to follow any rules regarding your relationships from now on. Within the last few weeks, there has been a change in our family dynamic. With the recent demise of my eldest son, Emry, you are no longer obligated to him. You are now a widow. As such, you are now a free woman and may choose whoever you desire to be with.”
Sasha wondered if Vanessa was including Damon in that group, or if he was to be forever off-limits in her life.
It was hard for Sasha to wrap her head around everything that Vanessa had just said to her. If she were free to see Damon again, it would be a fantasy dream come true for her. However, Sasha had no way of getting in touch with Damon. She didn’t even know his last name. Vanessa was the only one that had Damon’s contact information, and unless she volunteered that information, Sasha had no way of locating him. Sasha was leery of asking Vanessa for it, for fear of seeming too audacious. Besides, Sasha didn’t know if Damon even wanted to see her anymore. He may have moved on with his life and forgotten all about her by now. Sasha was in a dilemma about what her next move should be and had no one to turn to for advice.
CHAPTER 3
FUTURE PLANS
Damon was standing in front of Vanessa’s bedroom window, drinking his first cup of coffee as he watched the sunrise over the top of the lake behind the estate. It was a beautiful blue expanse of open water spreading out as far as the eye could see. As Damon gazed across the lake this morning, the water was like a mirror, so smooth and peaceful. Damon loved looking at the lake when it was calm like this. It was relaxing and inviting.
Several years back, Damon’s grandparents built a long pier that led out from the mansion to a two-story boathouse. That edifice was grand, with the lower section housing the boats, jet skis, and other water equipment, while the entire top area was a large glass-enclosure, which was perfect for parties and other festivities.
Damon recalled having many enjoyable hours in that boathouse when Carma was alive. Carma loved to dance, and Damon could still visualize her in his arms, smiling, while they danced. She also loved to laugh, and she could always make Damon laugh too. He had missed Carma’s laughter in his life. Being with Sasha had brought laughter back into his life.
Damon missed being with Sasha. He missed touching her and hearing her laughter. Damon loved holding Sasha and seeing the dimple in her chin when she smiled. Damon loved the feel of Sasha’s body when he pressed her up close to him, and the smell of her hair. When he closed his eyes, he could almost smell the sweet lavender scent of her hair.
“I can see that you stopped by the kitchen and grabbed
a cup of coffee on your way up. It smells delicious. You didn’t happen to bring me a cup, too, did you?” Vanessa quizzed Damon when she saw him gazing out at the boathouse. She knew that he was reminiscing about Carma and felt it best to change the subject quickly.
Damon still mourned the loss of his wife and child. That loss had pushed Damon into a solitary state of mind. He had fought his sorrow by becoming a workaholic to the exclusion of all else. Damon had worked himself into a corner and had no personal life at all. The business had prospered heartily at his hand, which pleased his father to no end, but Vanessa watched Damon slowly drift away from humanity. Vanessa knew that she had to do something to help Damon before it was too late.
Damon was Vanessa’s youngest grandson, but he showed the most promise for having a business mind from the start.
Emry was the pride of the family, being the oldest, and next in line to run the business, but he never took an interest in the growth of the company. He was a slacker. Emry’s idea of work was to take a swim in the pool.
Damon, on the other hand, was industrious and loved learning. He absorbed facts and figures like a sponge. Damon made the Dean's list several times at Harvard and graduated with honors, and a business degree. His quiet demeanor impressed everyone. Though being a man of few words, Damon always made his views known, and everyone respected his straightforward honesty.
Damon’s demeanor is what attracted Carma to him. They met at Harvard, where Carma was studying to be a lawyer, and she immediately caught Damon’s eye. They fell in love with each other, their senior year at college and married shortly after graduation. Having spent so many years getting their degrees, they decided to start their family straight away. They were excited when Carma found out that she was pregnant and decided to take a cruise to celebrate the joyous occasion. That is when the accident happened.
Carma and Damon had barely started their life together as man and wife when a rogue wave struck the yacht and swept both of them overboard. Damon had searched for Carma, almost drowning himself, and barely survived the ordeal, but Carma and his unborn child were both lost at sea.
Carma’s body was found several days later by the Coast Guard. Damon had never forgiven himself for taking Carma out on the water that day and hadn’t been on the yacht since. When Damon told Vanessa that he was going to take Sasha out for a cruise, Vanessa was surprised and ecstatic. She thought that perhaps, Damon was finally coming out of his shell.
Damon had tried not to think about Carma, and the day his life turned upside down, but there were still times when he would see something or hear something that reminded him of Carma and their unborn child.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I brought you a cup too,” he answered in response to Vanessa's question, “and it’s just the way you like it too, mostly cream with just a touch of coffee.”
“Grams, I swear, I don’t even know why you mess with the coffee part at all. Why not just drink a cup of milk. It’s almost the same thing by the time you pour so much of that creamer into your coffee cup.”
“Well, you’re half right, Damon. I still want a little coffee with my cream, though.”
They both laughed at that remark, and then the room became silent once again.
Vanessa finally broke the silence saying, “Damon, I need to talk to you about Sasha. Over the last several months, I’ve grown to care for her a great deal. I think that the rules that we set originally for this relationship and her pregnancy need to be changed. In the last few months, a lot has changed, along with my change of heart. I’ve instructed Burton to add an addendum to my will to include the baby, with a provision for Sasha.”
“I’ve discussed all of these changes with Sasha, so she is aware of what is going on. I have kept the secret that you are my grandson from Sasha, but I think that it might be time for you to tell her the truth. Now that Emry has passed away, Sasha is no longer bound to him, and I think that she has the right to know who the father of her child is. I don’t believe that we should keep her in the dark any longer.”
"Grams, I haven’t talked to Sasha since the cruise, out of respect to you. I’m afraid that after this length of time, she will want nothing to do with me. Sasha probably feels that I have forgotten about her and the baby, and very likely hates me for that.”
“Oh, Damon, I assure you that is not the case. Sasha believed that you were bound to me by contract just like she was, so she understood why you stayed away from her, and had no social contact with her. Since she now knows that I no longer have you under contract to me, I think that you should call her. I believe that if you open the lines of communication between you two and make yourself accessible, Sasha will be happy to talk to you. She has feelings for you, and I know that she misses you.”
“Since Emry’s passing, I’ve been thinking a lot about Sasha. I've spent the last seven months sorting through my true feelings for her, and I've finally admitted to myself that I’m in love with her. It’s taken me a long time to forgive myself for the accident that took Carma from me. I know that they will always be a part of my life, but since getting to know Sasha, I’ve realized that my heart isn’t dead and that I can love again. I don't know how Sasha will react once she finds out that we’ve been lying to her all this time. I hope that she will be able to forgive us for the deception and understand why we did what we did.”
“Damon, I hope that you know I have nothing for you, but love. For that reason, I’m going to tell you that I covertly chose Sasha to be the mother of my great-grandchild. When I found out that Emry’s cancer had returned and the Doctor had only given him a few months to live, I knew that he would no longer be able to father a child. You had gone off the dating chart, so I feared that you wouldn’t take an interest in fatherhood in my lifetime. I staged Emry’s marriage ceremony to make him think that it was legal, but their marriage was never legal. I planned for you to father the child all along and hoped that Sasha might win your heart in the process. I felt that Sasha could open your eyes to love again and help you return to us, and I think that she did just that. Sasha was my only hope, and now that you know, you can be angry with me if you wish to be angry with someone. Just know that I did what I did, to help you, and not to hurt you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive my deception because it was the only way I could think of to continue the Lockheed bloodline. Your brother’s health was failing, and with you being the last male in the family line, I took the only course of action, I thought I had available to me. Please forgive me for the way I deceived you.”
“Grams, when Dad died, I felt a sense of responsibility overwhelm me that I had never felt before. Father had trained both, Emry and me to succeed him in business, but Emry never picked up the reigns like Dad had hoped he would. I recognized that early on and knew that it was up to me at that point. I met all of Dad’s expectations, so when he died, I took over the responsibility of running the business. When I lost Carma, though, I backed away from everything and everyone. I failed my father at that time. I can’t possibly be angry with you, grams, for anything. All that you did was bring me back to reality, and for that, I probably need to thank you. I think that your bringing Sasha into my life was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Not only did you revive me, but you gave me back a sense of pride. Knowing that I had to step up after Emry’s death was only part of the big picture. Once I had taken on the responsibility of the company again, I felt new life flowing through my veins, and I realized that I was lonely and needed companionship. You brought Sasha into my life at that moment, which was perfect timing.”
“Damon, it makes my heart swell to know that you understand why I did what I did. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me knowing that you have found love again. Even though you may have burned a few bridges with Sasha, I don’t believe that you have broken anything that we cannot amend, if we handle it appropriately. If it makes things any easier for you, tell Sasha that you were bound by secrecy to me, so that she can blame the entire cloak and dagger af
fair on me, instead of you. Perhaps she would be able to forgive you faster if she knew the deceit was all my idea from the start, and that you wanted to tell her the truth all along.”
CHAPTER 4
YOU DON’T KNOW ME
“I have to say, you chose well, grams, but I have a confession to make as well. While we were on our cruise together, I had time to get to know Sasha better. That is when I found out that she was not doing all of this just for money. I saw a different side of Sasha that weekend. That is when I realized that I was falling in love with her. Now, I must try to make up for the lost time. I cannot wait to see her and tell her how much I have missed her since we've been apart. I have watched her as she takes her daily walks and when she does her gardening. I have not lost out on seeing my baby as it grows inside of her. I have loved seeing her feed the fish in the fishpond and walk down the pier to the boathouse where she sits to read every day. It's a pleasure to watch Sasha anytime."
“Well, Sasha doesn’t know that you have been secretly spying on her all of this time. Right now, she believes that you are no longer in her life because you chose to sever all ties with her. Sasha thinks that you have abandoned her and the baby, so you will need to ease back into your relationship with her, slowly. Most importantly, though, she is due to deliver the baby any day now, so please, do not upset her. I think that it would be best if you waited to have your joyous reunion with her until after the baby is born so that you don’t upset Sasha unnecessarily.”
Even though Damon was anxious to renew his relationship with Sasha and be by her side for the delivery, Vanessa was right. Damon agreed that he would wait because he did not want to upset Sasha in any way, especially this late in her pregnancy. “Of course, grams, you’re right. I will not intrude back into Sasha’s life right now. I do not want to do anything that might cause her any added stress this late in her pregnancy. I’ll wait until after she has the baby to try to explain everything to her then.”