by Land, Alexa
I stopped a few feet from him. Both of us seemed hesitant, almost as if we were meeting each other for the first time. After a pause, he said, “It was wrong to keep secrets from you. I should have told you exactly what I was involved in a long time ago.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I loved how trusting and comfortable you were with me, and I thought you might not look at me the same way if you knew the truth.”
“But you didn’t really hide it, either. You let me see the holster you always wear under your jacket, and you must have known I’d draw conclusions from it.”
“I almost took it off the first time we got together, but that seemed too dishonest,” he said. “I felt you had a right to know what type of man I was, even if I didn’t offer any specifics.”
After another pause, I asked, “Why did you come here?”
“Because I was afraid of losing you.”
There was so much I wanted to say to that, but I ended up blurting, “I quit.”
“What?”
“I quit. I don’t want your money anymore.”
Before I could say anything else, Lee closed the distance between us and did the very last thing I’d ever expect. He dropped to his knees and whispered, “Please, I’m begging you, Beck. Don’t do this. You’re the only thing that makes my life worth living, so please don’t leave me.”
I caressed his cheek as I told him, “I’m not. I just don’t want this to be a business arrangement anymore.”
He stood up and said, “I’ve lost track of how many hours I’ve been awake at this point, so I’m not sure I’m following. Please explain this to me in simple terms.”
“I want to be your boyfriend, Lee, not your prostitute.”
He looked surprised. “Even after the things you’ve learned about me this weekend? Between what Rus told you and the bits you probably pieced together on your own, you should have most of the picture by now.”
“It doesn’t change anything, because I know you’re not a bad person.”
“I’m not a good one, either.”
“You’re wrong about that,” I said. “You’ve shown me exactly who you are over the last year by being kind, and gentle, and making me feel like I matter. That’s why I want you, Lee. I think you want me too, don’t you?”
“Of course I do. I want you more than anything.”
“Then let’s do this. Let’s be a real couple.”
He ran his hands down my arms and told me, “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“Because being with me puts you in danger.”
“That’s not what matters. There’s really only one thing that does.” It was time to admit, both to him and to myself, what I’d been feeling for quite a while. I looked up at him and said, “I love you, Lee.”
His expression became an impossible blend of heartbreak and wonder as he whispered, “No one ever said those words to me. Not once in all my life.”
Hearing that gutted me, and I blurted, “Make me yours. I know we have a lot to figure out, but let’s do that together, as a couple.”
He cupped my face between his palms as he searched my eyes. I held my breath, waiting, hoping. Though it was only a few moments, they seemed to stretch endlessly.
And then he kissed me. It was tender and reverent and full of promise, and it told me all I needed to know, as clearly as if he’d spoken.
When we finally parted, it felt as though everything between us had subtly realigned. I took his hand and led him into the building, then up to my room. “We have so much to talk about,” he murmured. “I want to tell you everything.”
I took off his jacket and draped it over the back of a chair. “Tomorrow,” I said. “Right now, you need some rest.” He nodded in agreement and stashed his gun and holster on the top shelf of my closet before stripping down to just his briefs.
A quiet sigh of relief slipped from him as he settled into my bed. When I curled up with him, he put his head on my chest, and I wrapped my arms around him and stroked his hair. He fell asleep in a matter of seconds.
Normally, I slept in his arms while he held me protectively, but we’d switched positions. That told me just how stressful the last two days had been for him, and I whispered, “I’ll take care of you. I promise.”
4
The next morning, I left a note for Lee in case he woke up while I was gone. Then I put on a baseball cap and a pair of flip flops and went downstairs in the shorts and T-shirt I’d slept in.
The dining room was a huge space with high ceilings, casual furniture, and lots of natural light, which spilled in through the walls of windows on either side of it. That was where I found my Uncle Ren and his boyfriend Colt having coffee with Lorenzo. Their dog CJ sat at their feet, and his tail thumped against the floor when he saw me.
“Hey, you’re back,” Lorenzo called. “I didn’t think the ferry ran this early.”
“Actually, I returned yesterday and fell asleep almost as soon as I got here.” I poured myself a cup of coffee and said, “Mind if I join you?”
Ren told me, “You don’t even have to ask.”
I patted CJ’s tawny head and glanced at the new couple. Ren and Colt had been friends for a year before finally realizing they both wanted more. The fact that they were forty-one and twenty-one didn’t make a bit of difference. They were so sweet together, and it was obvious they were deeply in love.
My uncle seemed different lately, and I tried to pinpoint the change as I sat down across the round table from him. He had the same dark hair and short beard, both shot through with a bit of gray, and the same genuine smile. But then I realized the difference was in his dark eyes. Where I used to see stress, I now saw only contentment.
I took a sip of coffee before asking, “Who replaced the landscaping? It looks great.”
“All of us did the replanting, but the idea was Ezra’s, and he took charge and guided the project,” Colt said, as he swept his dark hair out of his blue eyes. “To save money, we relocated a bunch of plants from other parts of the property. We wanted the courtyard to look good when Dante and his family are here.” Colt had only recently learned he had a half-brother, and Ezra had come to live at the ranch earlier this month. Not surprisingly, it had been a big change from rural Wyoming, but it sounded like his sibling was starting to feel at home here.
“Speaking of Dante,” Ren said, “he’s arriving tomorrow afternoon, so we’ll have some time to talk business before the rest of his family arrives on Friday. Also, my lawyer will be here tomorrow at one, so we can sign the paperwork making you part-owner of the ranch.”
I studied my coffee cup and said, “About that. I really appreciate what you wanted to do for me, Uncle Ren. It was incredibly generous. But I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and you should go ahead and cancel the lawyer, because I don’t feel right about accepting that gift.”
“It’s not really a gift, Beck. You earned it. I know for a fact that I would have lost the ranch without your help, especially given the way I fell apart when my last relationship ended. You not only stepped up and took over, you’ve worked for over three years without a paycheck, and you absolutely deserve this. Actually, you deserve a hell of a lot more than a stake in a failing resort, but it’s all I have to give.”
I met my uncle’s gaze. “It’s not necessary,” I said, “although again, I really do appreciate the gesture. I helped out because I wanted to, and because I love you and this place. I don’t need anything in return.”
He looked like he wanted to argue, but after a pause he left it at, “Well, if you change your mind, even if it’s a day, month, or year from now, the offer still stands.”
“Thanks.” I got up from the table and murmured, “I um, I have a guest, so I’m going to go make him some breakfast. I’ll see you guys later.”
Lorenzo asked, “Do you mean a friend of yours, or a hotel guest? If it’s the latter, I’ll wait before dismantling the fountain, because that’ll make a
mess in the courtyard. Ren said it wouldn’t turn back on after being off all winter, and I told him I could fix it. He doesn’t believe me, so now we have a bet going.”
I admitted, “He’s actually my boyfriend. I’ll introduce him to all of you later today. But first I want to spend a little time alone with him, so please pretend I’m not back yet, unless there’s some sort of major crisis and you really need my help.”
It felt odd to call Lee my boyfriend. In fact, everything from the night before felt a bit unreal. I hoped he wouldn’t have second thoughts…
Colt exclaimed, “Dude, I didn’t know you have a boyfriend! Is he the reason for all those hush-hush monthly trips to L.A.?”
“Yeah. He is.” Technically that was true, but I felt guilty about how much I was omitting.
I started to head into the adjoining commercial kitchen, but Ren called, “There’s one more thing, Beck. My sister and her son are coming to help out at the ranch tomorrow, and my mom may or may not be with them. I just thought I should give you a heads up.”
I turned back to my uncle and said, “You’re kidding. How on earth did you get them to agree to that?”
“It was actually Colt’s doing,” Ren explained, as he took his boyfriend’s hand. “He hates the way they take from me without reciprocating, so last time we saw them, he strongly suggested they should start visiting and lending a hand, after all I’ve done for them over the years. They acted like they were insulted, especially my mom, even though Colt handled it very tactfully. But then Angela agreed to come here once a month and bring her son, and Mom might possibly be thawing, too. We’ll see.”
I muttered, “Well, since they all hate me, I’ll make a point of staying out of their way.”
“It might be an opportunity to reconnect with them,” Ren said. “After all, it’s been five years, and even though my mother is great at holding grudges, maybe we can all start working on moving forward as a family.”
Yeah right. They’d made their feelings about me perfectly clear after what happened with Hal. I murmured, “I’m not going to get my hopes up,” before leaving the dining room.
I cooked a huge breakfast for Lee, then covered it with a stainless steel cloche and put it on a rolling cart, along with a thermal carafe of coffee and a few other things. On my way through the lobby with it, I ran into Vee. He was wearing a hot pink tank top with a sequined rooster silhouette on the front, along with neon yellow shorts, and he said, “Hey, you’re back! I didn’t think the ferry ran this early.” I repeated the bit about coming in the night before, and then he gestured at the cart and said, “I didn’t think we offered room service, or that we had any hotel guests, for that matter.”
“It’s for my boyfriend. I’ll introduce you guys later, but right now I need to get this upstairs before it gets cold.”
“Is he the reason you’ve been going to L.A. every month?” I thought here we go again and nodded, and he exclaimed, “I knew it was probably because of some hottie! Dude, I’m super stoked for you and totally excited to meet him.” I tried to imagine what Vee and Leonidas would possibly find to talk about, since they couldn’t be more different.
“I’ll introduce him to everyone this afternoon. But first—”
“You want a little time with your honey. No need to explain, lover boy. You usually don’t return from your weekends away until Monday afternoon anyway, so I’ll tell everyone to pretend you’re still gone. Go on now, and have fun. I’m off to workout. It’s booty day.” He slapped his ass with both hands, and then he continued his strut across the lobby while I rolled the cart to the elevator.
Lee was in the shower when I returned to my room. I’d brought along a white tablecloth, and I set my little table for breakfast before stashing the cart out in the hallway. He joined me a few minutes later with only a towel around his hips, and my gaze slid down his muscular body.
Because he usually chose not to be naked, it was the first time I got a good look at his tattoos, which were rendered in black ink. They covered his shoulder and upper arm in a graceful mosaic of symbols and images that all seemed to have something to do with Greece. In the center was an incredible landscape showing a village nestled at the base of some giant rock formations.
I finally dragged my gaze from his body, and when I made eye contact, his grin actually seemed a bit shy as he murmured, “Good morning.”
In the next instant, he swore in Greek and ducked as Vee’s little blue parakeet flew into the room through the open French doors. The bird landed on my dresser and hopped onto the tray I kept for him. Then he looked right at Lee as he said, in his cartoonish, high-pitched voice, “What the fuck?”
Lee straightened up and asked, “Did that creature just talk, or am I losing my mind?”
“He talks, but that’s all he says. He belongs to a friend of mine. Hang on a minute while I give him some fresh food and water.” I refilled the water dish at the bathroom sink and exchanged the older birdseed with a fresh scoop from the bag in my drawer, then topped the food bowl with a slice of melon from Lee’s fruit plate. The bird grasped the cantaloupe in his curved claws and began to gnaw on it as I gestured at the table and said, “I made you breakfast. I hope you’re hungry.”
“I’m starving, but I’m also a bit underdressed.”
I found him a royal blue polo shirt and handed it over as I said, “This is big on me, so it might fit you. You’re stuck with the towel for now though, because I want you to eat before it gets cold.”
The shirt fit perfectly, in that it was a little tight on him and showed off his muscles. When he sat down across from me, I removed the cloche with a flourish. I was proud of the perfect omelet I’d managed to create, and it felt good when he said, “Thank you. This looks incredible.”
He rearranged a few things to free up a plate, cut the omelet in half, and put a portion in front of me. “You don’t have to share,” I said. “I made it for you.”
“But you probably haven’t eaten anything this morning.”
“How do you know?”
He added two triangles of wheat toast to my plate and positioned the fruit between us as he said, “Because you always skip breakfast unless someone feeds you.” He was actually right about that.
After we ate, we lingered over coffee, and I said, “I ran into my uncle and some of my friends downstairs, and I told them my boyfriend is here for a visit. Should I have said that?”
“If you’re asking because I’m hiding out, it’s not like they’re going to alert the men who are looking for me.” He took a sip of coffee, then continued, “But if you’re asking whether you should have called me your boyfriend, I love that.”
“Really?”
“It’s what I am now.”
I smiled at him, and then I got up from the table and said, “I’m going to see if I have any pants that might fit you. Not that I’d mind if you hung out in that towel all day.”
I crossed the room to the rolling racks that contained my wardrobe, and as I shuffled through my clothes, Lee joined me. “I’m realizing as I look at all of this that I only know this much of you,” he said, as he slid my best button-down shirts to the left. “But there’s a lot more to the story.” He grinned as he parted the clothes to reveal a red and green elf outfit.
“I volunteer with a group that puts on events for the local kids,” I explained. “Our next one is this weekend. We’re hosting an Easter egg hunt at one of the parks.”
“Please tell me you’ll be wearing bunny ears and a fluffy tail.” I glanced at Lee and was surprised by the playful sparkle in his eyes. That was a side of him I didn’t see very often.
“I will actually be wearing ears, but no tail.”
“Well, that still sounds adorable.”
I moved to my dresser after failing to find pants that would fit him. There I found a pair of white briefs that I’d never worn because they were a bit baggy on me, and white, loose-fitting shorts with a drawstring waist. As I handed them to him, I said, “Good thing I
’m a bit of a clothes hoarder.”
He dropped the towel, and my gaze went straight to his ass as he pulled on what I’d given him. “This will work,” he said, “although I haven’t actually worn shorts since I was a child.”
“You look great in them. Plus, you’ll blend right in on Catalina.” As he flipped through my jackets, I asked, “Are you cold? I probably have a sweater that would fit you.”
“No, I’m just being nosy.” He turned from the clothing rack and said, “I’m enjoying all these insights into your life, and—shit!” He ducked again as Clementine soared across the room and landed on my shoulder. Lee cringed as he admitted, “Maybe this is a good time to confess I have an irrational fear of birds.”
I didn’t mean to laugh, but it slipped out anyway, and I exclaimed, “You’re kidding!”
“Oh believe me, I wouldn’t make up something that embarrassing.”
I retrieved my coffee cup and sat back down at the table. Lee sat across from me and eyed the bird suspiciously as he asked, “What’s the creature’s name?”
“Clementine. You have to admit, he’s pretty cute.”
The parakeet said, “What the fuck?”
The crease between Lee’s brows softened a little as he admitted, “Sure. As long as you don’t look at those hideous, prehistoric claws.” I chuckled at that as the bird hopped off my shoulder and landed on the cloche. As Clementine played with his reflection in the shiny metal, Lee asked, “Isn’t its owner worried about it flying away?”
“My friend wants Clementine to be his by choice, not because he’s trapped in a cage. It seems to be working for them. The bird sticks to the ranch and checks in with Vee throughout the day, and they both seem happy.”
He indicated the tray on my dresser. “And you feed it for him?”
“We all do. Stations like that are set up all over the property, so wherever Clementine is, he has what he needs.”