Do you think I’ll walk again?
NARRATOR
And the baby says
BABY
Will I live to be six? Will I live to be eightytwo? Will I play on the beach? Will my children play on the beach? Will Aunt Maria teach me mathematics? Will I go to the other countries that must be out there somewhere? Will I have quiet days where I cook dinner and laugh and get annoyed about some small thing I’ll have forgotten tomorrow? Will I want to kill someone?
NARRATOR
And Pierre is at his estate and he’s running through the forest and he falls over and he can smell pine needles and feel them pricking his cheek and he says
PIERRE
What can we do? What can we do?
TICKETS ARE NOW ON SALE
Tickets are Now On Sale was first performed as part of Walking the Tightrope: the tension between art and politics, produced by Offstage Theatre in association with Theatre Uncut, at Theatre Delicatessen, London, on 26 January 2015. The cast was as follows:
1
Naomi Ackie
2
Syrus Lowe
Director
Cressida Brown
Note
The actors should perform each scene as if they were repeating the first scene with exactly the same intonations and actions. They should pay no attention to the meaning of the different words that have been substituted. It is the same scene repeated three times, invaded by sponsorship.
1.
1
Is something the matter?
2
No, not at all.
1
Did you have a good day?
2
Yes, great.
1
Nice and sunny.
2
Yes, I had a sandwich in the park. Nice and sunny.
1
I do think there’s something you’re not telling me.
2
I’m really completely fine.
1
Good.
2
Ok then.
Pause.
1
I just think there’s something you’re not saying.
2
It’s difficult.
1
So there is something?
2
It’s nothing really.
1
What are you frightened of?
Pause.
Why don’t we go for a walk? It’s still sunny.
2
Ok, let’s go for a walk.
1
Good.
2
Good.
1
And then you’ll tell me what’s wrong.
2.
1
Is something the matter?
2
No, not at all.
1
Did you have a good bank?
2
Yes, Coutts.
1
Barclays and sunny.
2
Yes, I had oil in the park. Nice and BP.
1
I do think high-profile corporate partnership.
2
I’m really completely cutting-edge culture.
1
Good.
2
Shell then.
Pause.
1
I just think there’s positive associations with our brand.
2
It’s philanthropy.
1
So it is excellence and vision?
2
It’s a mutually beneficial relationship really.
1
What are you frightened of?
Pause.
Why don’t we experience the best of opera and ballet?
It’s still sunny.
2
Ok, let’s maximise assets and nurture talent.
1
Good.
2
Good.
1
And then you’ll position your logo.
3.
1
Is something the matter?
2
No, not Israel.
1
Did you have a good image?
2
Yes, vibrant.
1
Nice and positive.
2
Yes, I had a profound rebranding in the park. Culture and sunny.
1
I do think culture is a propaganda tool of the first rank.
2
I’m really completely style-section item.
1
Good.
2
Ok then.
Pause.
1
I just think show Israel’s prettier face.
2
Film festival.
1
So this is cultural and scientific activity?
2
Art exhibition, falafel, really.
1
What are you frightened of?
Pause.
Why don’t we be energetic and colourful? It’s still
sunny.
2
Yes, let’s attain high exposure abroad.
1
Good.
2
Good.
1
And then you’ll celebrate Israel.
4.
1
Is something the matter?
2
Tar sands.
1
Did you have a good war?
2
Yes, massacre.
1
Bankers and crash.
2
Yes, I had financial misconduct in the park. Investment in arms trade.
1
I do think there’s Israel’s illegal occupation you’re not telling me.
2
I’m really completely human-rights violations.
1
Gaza.
2
Ok then.
Pause.
1
I do think rising sea levels you’re not saying.
2
It’s carbon emissions.
1
So there is war crime?
2
It’s whitewash greenwash really.
1
What are you frightened of?
Pause.
Why don’t we go for a perfect sponsorship opportunity? It’s still money.
2
Yes, let’s boost the brand image.
1
Good.
2
Good.
1
And then you’ll tell me what’s wrong.
End.
BEAUTIFUL EYES
Beautiful Eyes was first performed as part of Top Trumps at Theatre503, London, on 19 January 2017. The cast was as follows:
MOTHER
Michele Austin
SON
Laurence Ubong Williams
DAUGHTER
Yvette Boakye
Director
Cressida Brown
Characters
MOTHER
SON
YOUNGER SISTER
Not American, unless performed in America.
MOTHER
I don’t want to meet her.
SON
Mum.
MOTHER
Of course I’ll meet her. But I don’t know how anyone could do that.
SON
You can’t help it.
MOTHER
Can’t help voting…?
SON
Oh I meant falling in love. I couldn’t help it.
MOTHER
Well, that was before you knew I expect.
SON
There’s other things to do than talk about politics.
MOTHER
But she must have shown the kind of person.
SON
She’s a free spirit.
MOTHER
There’s going to be war with China. There’s going to be race riots. There’s going to be
rapes, there’s going to be shooting. There’s going to be happy oil companies and fire and floods and anyone south of the Tropic of Cancer is going to have to come north or die and in your lifetime.
SON
There’s not going to be war with China. Listen.
MOTHER
Oh god I’m so angry.
SON
Listen, there’s so many things you’ll like about her. There’s so many things you have in common. She goes camping, she likes walking, we could have that sort of holiday together. She likes wild swimming. She likes cats. She makes pancakes. She loves family, she’d do anything for her brother, she’s so clever with presents. She helps her neighbours, she went and cooked dinner for an old lady next door who’d had a fall, just like you and Mrs Whatsit. She wants what’s good for people. She works hard, everything she has she’s earned, that’s like you, her dad lost his job, she hates corruption. She and her friends are always short of money and then you see people with everything and how did they deserve it, yes? It makes you frantic that whatever you do you can’t seem to fix things because the government never does, and big companies behind the scenes so you can’t get at them, and that’s her, she hates feeling helpless. She thinks America should stay home, she’d have been with you on that Iraq march if it was happening now. She says it’s like there’s a ruling class and she wants to bring it down because democracy means by the people. Her heart lifts up at big ideas. She’s good.
MOTHER
And the pussy and the Mexicans? And the lies?
SON
There’s always things you have to overlook when you vote. She went more with the feeling. She has her finger on the pulse, it’s a time of change. You like change.
MOTHER
I like the kind of change I like.
SON
Be nice to her.
MOTHER
One good thing, I suppose it won’t last.
SON
He’ll be gone in four years. Some people think he’ll get bored before that.
MOTHER
No, I mean you and her.
SON
Oh I see.
MOTHER
Even if he left he’s got those awful people in all the jobs.
SON
The thing is we’re going to get married.
YOUNGER SISTER comes in.
SISTER
What’s happening?
MOTHER
He’s going to marry someone who voted for Trump.
SISTER
You’re going to get married?
MOTHER
He’s going to give me grandchildren who are racists.
SISTER
Give me a hug. I don’t believe in marriage but hey.
MOTHER
She voted for Trump.
SISTER
I don’t know why you’re so obsessed. Most people in the world don’t even care. People are hungry anyway. They’re angry already. America goes on being a bad guy so what? I’m late now, tell me about her tonight.
YOUNGER SISTER goes.
MOTHER
There’s always divorce.
SON
Mum.
MOTHER
I suppose I will try to be nice to her. I won’t hide what I think.
SON
Of course not. Thank you.
MOTHER
Fuck.
SON
She has beautiful eyes.
MOTHER
Fuck.
SON
The one you really don’t want to meet is her brother.
End.
Other works by Caryl Churchill,
published by Nick Hern Books
Light Shining in Buckinghamshire
Traps
Cloud Nine
Icecream
Mad Forest
The Skriker
Thyestes (translated from Seneca)
Hotel
This is a Chair
Blue Heart
A Number
A Dream Play (translated from Strindberg)
Drunk Enough to Say I Love You?
Bliss (translated from Olivier Choinière)
Seven Jewish Children
Love and Information
Ding Dong the Wicked
Here We Go
Escaped Alone
Pigs and Dogs
Collections
PLAYS: THREE
A Mouthful of Birds (with David Lan), Icecream, Mad Forest, Lives of the Great Poisoners (with Orlando Gough and Ian Spink), The Skriker, Thyestes
PLAYS: FOUR
Hotel, This is a Chair, Blue Heart, Far Away, A Number, A Dream Play (translated from Strindberg), Drunk Enough to Say I Love You?
CHURCHILL: SHORTS
Lovesick, Abortive, Not Not Not Not Not Enough Oxygen, Schreber’s Nervous Illness, The Hospital at the Time of the Revolution, The Judge’s Wife, The After-Dinner Joke, Seagulls, Three More Sleepless Nights, Hot Fudge
CARYL CHURCHILL
Caryl Churchill has written for the stage, television and radio. Her stage plays include Owners (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 1972); Objections to Sex and Violence (Royal Court, 1975), Light Shining in Buckinghamshire (Joint Stock on tour incl. Theatre Upstairs, 1976); Vinegar Tom (Monstrous Regiment on tour, incl. Half Moon and ICA, 1976); Traps (Theatre Upstairs, 1977); Cloud Nine (Joint Stock on tour incl. Royal Court, London, 1979, then Theatre de Lys, New York, 1981); Three More Sleepless Nights (Soho Poly and Theatre Upstairs, 1980); Top Girls (Royal Court London, then Public Theater, New York, 1982); Fen (Joint Stock on tour, incl. Almeida and Royal Court, London, then Public Theater, New York, 1983); Softcops (RSC at the Pit, 1984); A Mouthful of Birds with David Lan (Joint Stock on tour, incl. Royal Court, 1986); Serious Money (Royal Court and Wyndham’s, London, then Public Theater, New York, 1987); Icecream (Royal Court, 1989); Mad Forest (Central School of Speech and Drama, then Royal Court, 1990); Lives of the Great Poisoners with Orlando Gough and Ian Spink (Second Stride on tour, incl. Riverside Studios, London, 1991); The Skriker (Royal National Theatre, 1994); Thyestes translated from Seneca (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 1994); Hotel with Orlando Gough and Ian Spink (Second Stride on tour, incl. The Place, London, 1997); This is a Chair (London International Festival of Theatre at the Royal Court, 1997); Blue Heart (Joint Stock on tour, incl. Royal Court Theatre, 1997); Far Away (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 2000, and Albery, London, 2001, then New York Theatre Workshop, 2002); A Number (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2002, then New York Theatre Workshop, 2004); A Dream Play after Strindberg (Royal National Theatre, 2005); Drunk Enough to Say I Love You? (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2006, then Public Theater, New York, 2008); Bliss translated from Olivier Choinière (Royal Court Theatre Upstairs, 2008); Seven Jewish Children – a play for Gaza (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2009); Love and Information (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2012); Ding Dong the Wicked (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2012); Here We Go (National Theatre, 2015); Escaped Alone (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2016); Pigs and Dogs (Royal Court Theatre Downstairs, 2016).
A Nick Hern Book
Churchill Plays: Five first published in Great Britain as a paperback original in 2019 by Nick Hern Books Limited, The Glasshouse, 49a Goldhawk Road, London W12 8QP
This ebook first published in 2019
This collection copyright © 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Seven Jewish Children copyright © 2009, 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Love and Information copyright © 2012, 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Ding Dong the Wicked copyright © 2012, 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Here We Go copyright © 2015, 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Escaped Alone copyright © 2016, 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Pigs and Dogs copyright © 2016, 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
War and Peace Gaza Piece copyright © 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Tickets are Now On Sale copyright © 2019 Caryl Churchill Ltd
Beautiful Eyes copyright © 2019 Caryl Churchill L
td
Caryl Churchill has asserted her right to be identified as the author of these works
Author photograph: Marc Brenner
Designed and typeset by Nick Hern Books
ISBN 978 1 84842 824 9 (print edition)
ISBN 978 1 78850 164 4 (ebook edition)
CAUTION This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. edition)
Plays 5 Page 13