by Gareth Otton
“I assure you, the feeling is mutual,” Tad said. “But with the war coming I need to be as effective as I can and that means—”
He was cut off by the vibration of the phone in his pocket. Normally he would ignore it, but after the events of last night, Tad wasn’t taking chances. It turned out to be a text message from the Prime Minister, a summons to an emergency war council that Tad needed to get to.
“Am I boring you?” Ashely asked.
“I need to go,” Tad answered. “But I’ll be back.”
“Don’t bother, I have nothing left to say.”
For the last time in their short meeting, Tad forced himself to bite back his angry response. Taking one last look at the annoying man, Tad focused on a location in his mind and changed the channel.
Growler gave one last message of his own before leaving. He bared his teeth at the politician, a terrifying sight that even Ashley’s poker face couldn’t handle. He leaned back in his chair, creating more room between himself and the massive beast. Growler nodded and chuffed once like his message had been delivered, and then he too vanished with a pop.
9
Saturday, 24th December 2016
12:31
Both ghosts and living people blocked Tony’s path as he rushed through the twists and turns of The Pheonix, Kimberly’s shelter for troubled ghosts. Some tried to stop him, but none were successful until one ghost caught his attention.
Amber sat on one of the chairs lining the hallway outside Kimberly’s office, head hung low and hands clenched in her lap. Her crimson hair hung loose, hiding green eyes and the dimples that fascinated Tony every time she smiled. Unfortunately, she wasn’t smiling now.
What worried him more was that she wasn’t alone. Tony’s parents sat beside her and neither looked pleased to be here.
“I came as soon as I got the message,” Tony said as he skidded to a stop. “What happened?”
At the sound of his voice Amber’s head shot up and in a second she was off the chair and had him wrapped in a hug so tight he might have suffocated if he needed to breathe. Instead, he awkwardly returned the hug as he glanced at his parents for clues.
“It’s the twins,” his mother said. “They had another incident.”
Tony’s stomach twisted.
For the last few months, Amber’s rescued children had started showing signs of oncoming madness. Andrew, the eldest of Amber’s ghost children, had merged with Jen to get over his struggles. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the solution they hoped for. Unlike Amber, who was old enough to deal with experiencing Jen’s life, it was too much for Andrew and he chose to move on rather than go through that again.
It meant Jen couldn’t help the even younger twins, and that left no other options than weekly sessions with Kimberly. Stella’s psychiatrist friend was teaching them techniques to help manage the madness, but it was a losing battle.
“It was horrible, Tony,” Amber said, releasing him and stepping back.
“Bullies again?” he asked.
After Jen and Amber’s rescue efforts at the Senedd, the students were more tolerant to ghosts and the school reversed Jen’s expulsion. But there were still plenty of people in Cardiff who hated their kind. That children would bear the brunt of that hatred sickened Tony to his core.
“Yeah. Some arseholes at the park didn’t like ghosts playing with normal kids. They called them names, then one of the older kids started throwing stones. The twins let the stones pass through them so they weren’t hurt… but… Millie’s eyes. Tony, you should have seen them. They went smoky… Then Vincent started hissing.”
“Hissing?” Tony asked, horrified. After his experiences with mad ghosts he was sure that if he could actually sleep as a ghost, that hissing would haunt his nightmares. He glanced at the closed door behind which Kimberly would be coaching the kids down from the edge. However, his worries only intensified when he felt a familiar presence.
“There’s a Proxy in there,” he said.
“Jen,” Amber agreed. “I called her as soon as it happened.”
Tony couldn’t believe his luck, as it must have been just after Tad left her with the Burmans and dropped Tony off at his parent’s house. If it was a minute later, he could have gotten here sooner by hitching a ride with Jen.
“She fixed them up?”
“As best she could, at least enough to get them here. She can’t make it permanent without merging, though,” Amber answered. “She’s doing what she can to help Kimberly.”
Tony laughed ruefully. “Where would we be without Jen?” he said, marvelling that she had pulled out yet another miracle.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Amber asked, her tone going frosty.
As happy as he was that Jen was Amber’s Proxy, he wasn’t sure how to feel now the two shared a head. He often found them deep in whispered conversation that stopped whenever he got too close. It meant Amber got defensive when he hinted at anything negative about Jen, even if it was just a joke.
“I wasn’t being sarcastic,” he answered to stave off her anger, then he told Amber and his parents about last night. When he explained about Tad’s house burning down, Amber’s expression softened and his mother gasped into her hand. Even his stoic father was stunned by the news. However, telling them about what happened to Lizzie and Jen’s role in saving her nearly floored them.
“I almost can’t wait to merge again to see those memories,” Amber said. “I think it will be an interesting experience.”
“I have a feeling it’s just one of many to come with the way today has been going,” Tony said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing… Just… I don’t know. I guess I’m in shock. I mean, first the attack and fire, then the stabbing, now the twins… It all adds up.”
“Yeah, even when you’re dead it shows you still have stuff to lose,” Amber said, sounding older than her years. There was another tone beneath her words that Tony couldn’t identify and he was surprised when she suddenly grabbed his hand.
Glancing over her shoulder, she said, “We’re just going to be over there. Shout me if they need me for anything.”
“Of course, dear,” Tony’s mother answered, wearing a knowing smile, like she knew something Tony didn’t. Tony glanced at his father and found a blank expression, so at least he wasn’t the only one in the dark.
Before he could speak, Amber dragged him down the corridor and around the corner. She stopped once they were out of sight of his parents, but refused to say anything or let him speak until the other people in the corridor had moved on.
“What’s going on?” he asked, nervous about the determined look in her eye.
“This thing with the twins and what happened last night, it shows that life’s short, Tony,” she started. “Even as ghosts we won’t be here forever. We need to live life now while we still can.”
“Charles was a ghost for two hundred years,” Tony pointed out. However, there wasn’t much conviction in his tone. Recently he looked at his old friend in a new light, amazed that he stuck around that long. Tony had been a ghost for less than two decades, but already he felt weary. While the world around him was changing, he remained the same, and the further he got from the day he died, the more exhausting it was to keep up. Only fifteen years into his afterlife and already he felt like an old soul. He was amazed Charles had managed it for over two centuries.
“Which isn’t forever. Besides, even you admitted that was uncommon.”
“What’s your point? Is this about the twins? Are you worried about them moving on? I’m sure Jen has got things in hand.”
“Of course I’m worried. But this isn’t about them, it’s about us.”
“Us?” Tony asked, almost choking on the word.
“I’ve been speaking with Jen,” Amber started, and Tony had to fight from groaning as he suspected where this might be going. “And we think we have a solution.”
“I hesitate to ask, but a solution to what?”
“To you and me finally going on a date,” Amber said.
This time Tony did groan. He’d already had this conversation, and it had been one of the most awkward of his life. He didn’t want to have it again today of all times.
“Hey,” Amber protested, punching his shoulder to get his attention. “Don’t be like that, you don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
“If you cooked this up with Jen, then it can’t be good,” Tony argued, earning another punch for his comments. As he rubbed the sore spot, he wisely decided not to say anything else.
“You said I’m too young, right? Well, we both know it would be different if I was eighteen. I’d be an adult and I know you’ve perved on girls that age before, so don’t pretend you’d have a problem with it.”
Blushing in a way that would be embarrassing for even a living boy, let alone a ghost, Tony rubbed at the back of his neck and looked away.
“We’ve already spoken about this—” he started, but Amber wouldn’t let him finish.
“Well, me and Jen figured it out. We wait six months, and then you can ask me out.”
Tony waited to hear if there was any more, and when nothing came he hesitantly admitted, “I don’t understand. Nothing will have changed in—”
“Do you think I’m ugly?” she interrupted.
Groaning in discomfort as his blush deepened, he just managed to squeak out a reply.
“You know I don’t think that. Why do you make me—”
“And you like hanging around with me?” she asked, mercilessly driving her point home. This time Tony couldn’t bring himself to verbalise an answer, as it felt like his cheeks were on fire. Apparently, that was answer enough. “Well in that case, in six months you will ask me out because in six months I will be eighteen.”
Tony blinked in surprise.
“You will?” he asked. “But… I mean…”
“I was nearly seventeen when I died, so I’ll be eighteen in six months. The only reason you keep turning me down is because you think I’m too young… which is stupid by the way, because technically I was alive longer than you were. Well me and Jen figured it out, we wait until I turn eighteen, and then you finally ask me out.”
“Wait? Ask you out? Why would I have to ask you out? Why don’t we just agree too—”
“Tony Suen, do you think I’m going to go through all this trouble just to make it easy for you? Jen was clear about this, you need to work for it too.”
“Of course she was,” Tony muttered.
“So what do you think? Does this finally get through that thick head of yours and satisfy your stupid hangups?”
Tony frowned and asked, “Let me guess, Jen’s words?”
“Tony! Just answer the question.”
Tony thought he had already made up his mind about this, but realised she might have a point. She may look like a sixteen-year-old, but he was only fourteen. As Jen kept reminding him, ghosts didn’t age after they died. Sure they gained more experience, memories and knowledge, but their emotions, thoughts and responses were exactly what they were when they died. Even though he had existed for over thirty years, he was more accurately a fourteen-year-old with a lot of practice at being fourteen.
That same fourteen-year-old had never been on a date, had only ever kissed a girl once, and despite all the time he had spent doing unsavoury things that all teenage boys would do if given the superpower of invisibility, it was the same teenage uncertainty that made him trip over his words when he answered.
“Uh… Well… If you’re eighteen and… Then… Yeah, I suppose I could maybe ask you out or something.”
He kicked himself for saying something so stupid, but judging by Amber’s answering grin, he needn’t have worried.
“Really? That worked?” she asked, smiling so wide it must have hurt. “I mean…” She struggled to get hold of herself before saying. “Well, in that case, in six months you can ask me out and we’ll see what happens next. Though, it better be a good idea for the date if I’m giving you six months to prepare, Tony. Don’t half-arse this.”
Tony felt the presence of Jen behind those words again and despite himself, he smiled.
“I’ll think of something,” he promised, and Amber lost all of her carefully tamed composure as it was her turn to blush and flash that brilliant grin of hers. Unfortunately, it was a smile that wasn’t to last.
“Amber, Tony, they need you.”
They looked up at Tony’s father, and Tony could tell by his expression that he didn’t have good news. The phantom thudding of his heart and his faux adrenaline that rushed through ghostly veins after agreeing to do something that genuinely made him nervous for the first time in as long as he could remember, faded away as cold worry gripped him. Glancing at Amber, he saw that she too had paled, and before he could stop her, she pushed past his father and rushed back towards Kimberly’s office at full ghost speed. Tony had to push as hard as he could to catch up, leaving his father blinking in surprise as both ghosts must have almost vanished to his eyes.
He arrived just in time to meet Kimberly as she stepped into the hall and motioned for the two of them to follow her. Tony had always liked Kimberly as she was one of the few people who didn’t judge him for how he spent his afterlife. He suspected she knew what he had been through and what beyond teenage hormones had driven his actions. Almost always dressed down in something simple like jeans with a knitted top, her manner of dress and her ever-present smile made her incredibly approachable. That smile was missing now and suddenly he was glad when Amber’s hand sought his own, as he too needed the support.
“What is it?” Amber asked when they were just out of earshot of the open door.
“It’s time,” Kimberly answered. “Jen’s calmed them, but whenever she relaxes her hold the madness returns. I’m afraid I’m out of techniques. They need to move on today.”
“No,” Amber gasped, her free hand covering her mouth as she tried to stay strong, but it couldn’t last. Her hand gripping Tony’s was trembling, and her tears wouldn’t be constrained. “No,” she gasped again as she gave in the fight and then threw herself at Tony. She buried her head in his chest and sobbed while Tony could do nothing but try to choke back his own tears.
He couldn’t believe it. After what happened with Andrew, he knew this day would come, but he didn’t realise it would be so soon or feel like this. He had only known the kids for a couple of months, how could it possibly feel like someone had slipped a hand inside his chest and was squeezing his lungs for all they were worth.
“How long do they have?” he asked.
“Until you can convince them,” Kimberly admitted, looking uncomfortable.
“Until I convince them?” Tony asked, not believing the words.
“You and Amber, yes. They trust me, but not this far. I know this is a horrible thing to ask of you Tony, but… those kids will go mad if they don’t move on and we all know how that will end. There’s no other way.”
“What about Tad? Maybe he could—”
“I already spoke with him, there’s nothing he can do. The most he could offer was that if they didn’t leave on their own, he could come and force them to move on rather than the alternative. I’m sorry Tony, this is it.”
Tony was about to protest again, but Amber released him and turned away, wiping her eyes and straightening her back. With her next sentence she showed the kind of strength Tony couldn’t imagine replicating himself and he could only look on with awe as she forced down her emotions to do what she knew was right.
“It’s okay. This day was always going to come eventually, we knew that. I’ll make sure they move on, I promise.”
Her voice grew steadier with every word, and only the trembling grip she maintained on Tony’s hand told him how she truly felt. He wanted to run from this, to go find Tad and force him to do something else, to hide somewhere where he wouldn’t have to be part of this. Only Amber’s strength forced him to stay. A deep wave of shame
washed through him, knowing he couldn’t be that strong.
Kimberly smiled at them both even as moisture built in her own eyes, and she said, “Come on. I’m not sure how long Jen can keep this up.”
Upon entering Kimberly’s office, they found Jen sitting in the far corner on Kimberly’s desk chair, a leather seat so large it made her look tiny. Between her legs, Hawk sat with his head on her lap, showing his silent support as Jen tried to hold back her own tears. So far she was managing and there was a tentative smile on her face, but Tony could tell by how red her eyes were that she was a moment away from breaking down herself.
Then his eyes turned to the twins. They sat side by side on the large sofa that ran along the back wall of Kimberly’s office, both so small they shared a single pad. Wide eyes and trembling lips showed just how scared they were, and Tony’s legs nearly gave way at the sight of them. The trembling in Amber’s hands stopped though, and after tugging Tony along behind her, she let him go so she could kneel in front of the twins, a beaming smile on her face.
“Hey guys. Good to see you back?”
“Hi Amber,” Vincent said.
Millie couldn’t even say that much, as huge tears were rolling down her face. When she finally could speak she cried out, “I want my mummy.”
Amber’s smile flickered, but in one of the bravest things Tony had ever seen, she held it together and reached out to take the little girl’s hand with her left hand, and the boy’s with her right. Looking in both of their eyes she lied and said, “I’m sorry, we’ve not been able to find them. I wish I could have brought them to you, but… I’m sorry guys.”
Finally Tony found something that gave him the strength to stay in this room. At Amber’s words, a fiery wave of fury washed through him, making him curl his fingers into fists and clench his jaw. They had found the twins’ parents almost as soon as Lizzie put out the first video helping them look. However, while they would never tell the twins, their parents had refused to see them. Kimberly told them it was horror at the thought of finding them and having to leave them again, but Tony knew the truth. These people had bought into the fashion of hating ghosts that was sweeping the nation. Whether it reminded them of their own mortality or whatever their hangups were, Tony didn’t know, but those people would rather leave their children lost and alone with strangers than come here and put them at peace.