by KJ Dahlen
People often knocked her around, thinking it was funny when she hit the dirt, but she would just pick herself up, dust her pants off and move on. She never let any of the hurt or unkind words bother her for very long. She couldn’t help the fact that her mother was a whore or that she preferred to be drugged out rather than spend time with her daughter. Even her own mother didn’t want her and she often told her that, usually in a screaming fit when things didn’t go her own way.
The one thing she never told her daughter was who her father was. Oh, Sage had her own ideas on that score and Luke despite his hatred had given her the one thing her mother never did, he told her the name of the man who donated his sperm to help create her. Then he told her why he wasn’t happy about the fact. When she heard his name, Sage wasn’t happy either but that was beside the point. She hadn’t asked to be born and she hadn’t asked either of them to be her parents.
She hadn’t asked for anything from the man and she’d be damned if she would start now. One day, she knew karma would bitch slap the hell out of him and his house of cards would fold and she could only hope Luke’s would too.
When she shut off the water, she saw Molly hand her a towel through the curtain. Sage took it, dried off then wrapped it around herself and drew the curtain back. Molly pointed to the toilet and Sage sat down while
Molly took another towel and finished drying her shoulders. Then grabbing a pair of scissors, she began trimming the jagged edges of the hair on her head.
Molly tisked and continued to cut until she had a reasonable attempt at making it look good. Grabbing the robe from the back of the door, she held it up for Sage to put on. Then she gathered the discarded clothing from the floor. She opened the bedroom door and walked out leaving Sage standing there.
Sage took a deep breath and stepped back into the bedroom. She expected only to find Molly and Judge there but his brothers and his father were all there as well. Sage froze and looked around in a panic. Wrapping the ends of the robe together, she at least made sure she was covered.
Judge patted the bed next to him.
Warily, Sage joined him keeping her eyes to the floor. It was embarrassing to have so many eyes on her and especially, with the way she looked right now.
Black Jack cleared his throat and when she looked up, he inquired gently, “Can you tell us what happened? Who did this to you and why?”
Sage stared at him for a moment then shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s over. Whatever happened can’t be undone.”
“So what does this Luke guy have against you?” Gambler asked in the uneasy silence.
Sage sighed and her ribs protested. Hissing in pain, she pressed her hand against her side. “That’s something you’ll have to ask him,” she finally stated.
“How many?” Judge asked.
Sage glanced at him with a frown. “Excuse me?” she asked quietly.
“How many guys were there when this happened?” he repeated his question. He met her eyes and his gaze was intense.
She knew he wouldn’t leave this alone until she told them what they wanted to hear. Sage swallowed hard. Tension grew as she refused to answer. Finally, after a few minutes she whispered, “It doesn’t matter. It’s over.”
“Has this happened before?” Black Jack asked.
Sage nodded but didn’t add to it.
“How are you feeling?” Raine suddenly asked.
Sage shrugged. “Better I suppose. I still have a headache but its easing some.”
“And your ribs?”
“They’ll heal in time.” Was all she said.
“And your back?” Molly suddenly asked.
Judge frowned. “Her back?” he asked his mother.
Molly tucked the clothing under her arm and held up Sage’s top. They could all see the boot print on the pale cloth and the whole room erupted with growls of rage.
Sage just hung her head as hot tears rolled down her face. They dropped onto the robe and soaked into the cloth. She didn’t know what to do, no one had ever cared about what happened to her before. She didn’t know how to handle this. It was one thing to face it herself but people caring about her was a foreign thing.
Judge met his father’s eyes and motioned toward the door. Jack motioned for the boys to follow his lead and soon Judge and Sage were alone.
Judge reached out his hand and covered hers, entwining his fingers with hers he didn’t speak for a moment.
Sage felt the heat from his body and for a minute, she reveled in the warmth of his touch. She tried to disengage his fingers but Judge wouldn’t let her. Instead he said, “I want to see your back.”
Sage hesitated. “Why?”
“I want to see what those bastards did to you.” He seethed.
Sage raised her eyes to look at him. This giant of a man was worried about her? Surely that couldn’t be... But he held her eyes in a steady glare and she slowly got to her feet. Turning her back to him, she dropped the robe to her waist.
Chapter Three
Judge let out a low growl of rage as he noted each and every bruise.
He grasped her hips then slowly turned her around and pulled her hands down to her waist. Sage blushed and felt very exposed as he stared at her bare chest. He tried to keep his gaze professional but failed, as he had to lick his suddenly dry lips.
His eyes fastened on her breasts and he couldn’t look at anything else. He’d always admired her from a distance but this...this was unbearable. So very close but yet so far away. She looked incredible. Her skin was flawless where it wasn’t bruised and her neckline was graceful and very lickable. Her breasts were larger than he imagined, and yes, he had imagined what they would look like. Her nipples were a dark brown and her skin was a creamy color. He bet they would fit into his huge hands with ease and his fingers curled with anticipation. The real thing was better than he could have ever imagined and his mouth was watering at the sight of them.
Her belly was flat and smooth. His cock grew hard in a flash and he tried to ignore the sensation as he continued to stare at her. Finally, he raised his eyes to hers and noted her stare. He could read fear there and so much more than that in her silver orbs. He could see her own interest in her eyes and he almost reached for her to pull her into his embrace. Then he cleared his throat and gently lifted the robe to cover her again. He couldn’t—no, he shouldn’t be having these thoughts about her when she was hurt. It wasn’t right and his mother would skin him alive if he hurt her more than she was already.
He hadn’t let his interest show before now and he feared it might be too late. From the moment she’d first shown up in his neck of the woods, he’d been interested. He often found himself watching her as she served her food to his workers. He remembered all too well the times he had to force himself to stay away from her. The blood had rushed to his lower half on more than one occasion when he found himself watching her from a distance.
Her laugh one day had snapped his head around so hard he thought for a moment he’d broken his own dammed neck. The red wash of rage had almost blinded him that day until he got a good look at what caused her to laugh like that in the first place.
A mutt had wandered into the parking lot and was begging for food. She’d noticed the dog and had come out of her cart to offer the pup a treat. The dog was dancing around her and licking her face in his appreciation of the tidbit of food and Sage was laughing her ass off.
He stood there watching for along moment then got distracted when his foreman Jody walked up with a clipboard in his hands.
He remembered shaking his head at the thought of hurting someone because they had been able made her laugh. He’d felt a jealous rage over a damn dog. Her laugh had been so carefree and warm and Judge wanted her to laugh again like that, but he wanted her to laugh for him and him alone.
The men on his crew were grateful and always welcomed her, one or two even seemed to know her well. Brady wasn’t the only worker who engaged her in conversation but they were very careful arou
nd her as well. She kept a barrier between herself and other people, friendly but not personal with anyone.
Until today, he never knew that much about her and now he wanted to beat the men who hurt her. He could feel fury growing inside him at the thought of anyone hurting a woman. You were supposed to treat a woman with gentleness, not rage.
His hands clenched the robe she was wearing until Sage tried to take a step back. His gaze flew to hers and he saw the growing fear in her silver eyes. He exhaled and gently pulled her toward him. “I’m sorry Angel, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”
~*~
Sage took a deep breath and let the air in her lungs go slowly. “Ok,” she whispered. She felt a little nervous around this big man. She knew he could snap her in half with very little effort but she also knew he wouldn’t hurt her. She believed him when he told her that. She didn’t know why or how but for the first time in maybe her whole life, she trusted someone.
“So what happens now?” she asked him quietly.
Judge looked at her steadily and informed her, “I want Raine to look at your wounds. He’s our medic and he’ll know more what you need and don’t need after he has a look.”
“I would rather he didn’t,” she told him with a hard look.
“Look, while he may not be a doctor, he knows his shit.”
Sage lifted her hand and gently covered his mouth with her finger. A spark of electricity arched between them and she felt shocked as she pulled her fingers back.
Judge looked equally shocked and his frown deepened.
She cleared her throat and shook her head. “I’m sorry but I don’t really need a doctor. I know I’m a hot mess right now but I’m alive and I will heal all on my own. That’s the way it’s always been.”
“Angel, you were unconscious when we found you and covered in blood, you’d been laying there alone for almost two days.”
Sage put her fingers over his mouth again and the same spark shot through them but this time she ignored it. “I may not be whole just yet, but I will be. The shower helped a lot. I just need to rest and heal. I’ll be fine in a few days.”
Judge’s eyes narrowed. “Why won’t you let us help you?”
She shrugged and tried to move away from him but Judge wouldn’t allow that. He grasped her hips gently and pulled her toward him. “Talk to me.” He pulled her into an embrace. Resting his forehead against her chest, he inhaled her scent.
Sage wanted to curl up in his arms and let it all go. Her fear, her past, her future. She wanted so badly to forget for a moment and just feel but she knew she couldn’t do that. Her past was very present in her future and she could never forget that. If she did, he would be able to destroy her and that she would never allow. “I can’t,” she whimpered even as she wanted to wrap her arms around him and just hang on.
~*~
Judge raised his head and stared at her. He could see the war she was going through. He could force her to talk to him but that wasn’t how he wanted this to go. He wanted her to trust him enough to open up to him. He exhaled loudly and leaned back enough to run his fingers through his long shaggy beard. He turned her around and pulled her onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her gently. “Why can’t you talk to me?” he asked quietly. “I’m not here to judge you but I would like to know about you. I know we haven’t spoke a lot over the time we’ve known each other but I hope we can change all that now.”
“Why do you want to know about me? I’m not all that interesting.”
“You felt that spark when you touched me, didn’t you?” he whispered in her ear. His lips began nibbling on her delicate skin. “I’ve never felt that before with any other woman, only you. When I first saw you, you woke something up inside me, something that I never knew was even there. Then when you touched me just now, I felt pure electricity. I can guarantee you that I want to find out where this is going.”
She turned to glance at him and he saw tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m nobody—special,” she whispered brokenly. “I was born a bastard to a woman who used my existence to blackmail the man who she claimed fathered me. I was supposed to be her meal ticket and when that didn’t happen, she hated my very existence. She didn’t even tell me his name. I lived my life mostly alone. Even my own mother didn’t want me around, especially when she entertained the many men that came and went through her door. She’d go days without even looking at me, let alone feeding me or making sure I was all right.”
“Did that ever get better?” he asked quietly.
She shook her head and bit down on her trembling bottom lip. “No it never did, in fact it got worse. Someone reported her to social services when I was around four for neglect. I was taken away for a few days but she cleaned up her act enough to get me back. She knew she couldn’t get the money from my dad if she didn’t keep me.” She shrugged. “For a while, it was better but still not great. Then she went back to ignoring me again. We lived in the trailer court off Baylord Street and I would see everyone going to the bus to go to school everyday and I wanted to go too. So I would get myself ready, walk down the road and go to school, then I would come home again... my mom never even knew I was gone all day.”
Judge hugged her a little closer at her admissions. His heart was sore for her. No little kid should have to live like that. His own childhood had been so different. His mother had loved him and his brothers almost to the point it was stifling them. She made sure they were clean and well fed, she and their dad had to know all their friends, and where they hung out.
He looked down at her and realized she had never known that kind of caring. He knew there was more of her story to tell but he didn’t know if he could bear to hear it right now. He might just lose it and that would scare her. He hated that this small woman had known nothing but misery. How could this happen to someone so sweet? “Did something change when you were older in school?”
She hung her head, for a moment then raised her eyes and looked at him. “You could say that.” Swallowing hard she went on, “The older I got the less we had. Mom just gave up at some point. She didn’t care if I was there or not. I worked hard to earn a little money for food and rent and still go to school. I kept us in the trailer but she just didn’t care. My clothes were thrift store clothes but at least they were clean. I tried but it was never good enough for the other kids.” She shook her head. “You know that saying kids can be cruel? Well that’s true. They can be and were the whole time I was growing up. They never failed to let me know I was never good enough for them. I didn’t fit in with their groups and I never would.”
“What happened to your mom?” He’d heard from Brody but he wanted to hear her side of this.
Sage looked troubled. “When I was fifteen, she overdosed. I was there that time and got her to the hospital in time to save her life.” She shook her head. “Boy, was she ever mad about that. She hated the fact that the nurses ruined her high and sobered her up. And wow, did she let me and everyone else know about it too. She caused such a fuss that night the police put her under a three days confinement. The doctors wanted to put her in rehab but dear old mom wouldn’t go. Finally, the courts told her to remain clean and sober and if she didn’t she would go to jail. I think that finally got through to her and she remained clean for a while but then something happened, I never knew what, but suddenly, she was using again. Then one night I came home from work and found her. She had overdosed again and this time I didn’t find her soon enough. She was already cold when I got home.”
His arms tightened around her as he listened with a heavy heart.
Taking a deep breath she went on, “I was barely sixteen at the time but I knew I didn’t want to go into foster care at that age, so I applied to the courts to be on my own. As much as I hated that damn trailer court, I needed to stay there. I also needed to earn a living. Funny enough, the landlord told me as soon as my mom died that the rent had doubled. He said she had made a deal with him but if I wanted the same deal, the r
ent could stay the same.” Sage trembled at the memory.
Judge’s fingers curled into fists and he hugged her too tight now, as he knew what she was alluding to.
Sage gasped as his huge arms tightened around her.
When Judge heard her gasp, he loosened his hold but didn’t let her go.
“Don’t worry I didn’t take him up on his more than generous offer. My mother may have been a whore but I wasn’t. I packed what little I had and left that same night. After I left the trailer, I found a place to settle in for the night and was sleeping in the adjacent park when fire sirens woke me up. There was a fire somewhere close by and I went along with everyone else to see what was going on.”
“What happened?”
“Someone had set fire to the trailer I’d grown up in.” She trembled. “The firefighters put out the fire and the cops were there asking for information. One of my neighbors suggested it was set on fire deliberately and rumors were flying that because Lenny had kicked me out, I set the damn thing on fire but I knew I didn’t do it. I hung back in the shadows and watched the ordeal but no one was looking for me. Then I noticed I wasn’t the only one there hanging back.”
Judge frowned. “Who else was there watching your trailer burn?”
She glanced at him quickly then just as quickly looked away. “Someone I had grown to dread over the past few years, back then.”
“Grown to dread?” Judge asked.
She nodded. “Luke Nichols and his friends Jason Miller, Kyle Brecker, and Harry James. I didn’t see him there but there’s always a fourth guy hanging with Nichols, and that would be Milo Peters. I think I was about ten when Luke discovered I existed. He tormented me every day in school and sometimes he would follow me home.”
“Why?” Judge frowned.
“I have no clue. He just wouldn’t leave me alone. Always had to make things more difficult than they needed to be. It was hard enough to go to school every day when I knew the kids there thought I didn’t belong but Luke made it that much harder. He just wouldn’t leave me alone and he managed to turn everyone against me. He would look at me like he hated me at times but he never would tell me why. I tried to ignore him and his friends but he went out of his way to harass me. He enjoyed trying to make me cry but I never would.”