by Marie Harte
“What?” Tersch squeezed so hard, Morgan feared he'd break his neck.
Jules snorted. “Tersch, let him go. Hell, Morgan, I told Kisho to find out what you were up to, but I never thought he'd whore for the answers.”
The minute Tersch gave him the space, Morgan dived at Jules and took him to the floor in one smooth glide. He nailed Jules twice before the others dragged him back.
“Shit,” Fallon gasped.
Morgan fought like a man possessed. It was all Fallon and Tersch could do to hold on to him. “Kisho did nothing wrong, asshole. And if you even try saying—” Jules held up a hand as he rose. “Enough. Nice tackle. I knew you were a lot more lethal than you'd shown us.”
Morgan blinked, not sure about Jules's calm.
“Tersch, Fallon, let him go.”
“But Jules, he messed with Kisho. He hit you!” Tersch tightened his grip.
“I said let him go.” The rumble of authority made both Circs release Morgan and step back. “Morgan, my team is tight, a cohesive unit. But you're not a part of us. You want my Kisho, hmm?”
Morgan couldn't help himself. “He's not yours. He's mine.” The gym was so silent that only the echo of their breaths could be heard.
“What's that?” Jules asked.
Morgan didn't want to alienate the team, but he had to make them understand. “Kisho is mine. He's always been mine.”
“Explain the fox,” Fallon said.
“What fox?” Tersch asked.
Morgan didn't want to answer any more questions. He wanted Kisho. “He means the jade fox in Kisho's bedroom, the one that matches mine. My aunt gave me that years ago, when I was just a kid. She told me to hold on to it, that when I found my kitsu, I'd know. And I found him.”
“Huh?” Tersch stared from Morgan to the others, clearly confused.
Fallon nodded. “Guys, that small figurine in Kisho's room, the one Tersch makes fun of?
Kisho's grandmother gave him that. Told him to hold on to it, that when he found its match, he'd know.”
“How do you know that?” Morgan didn't like the idea Kisho would have shared something so personal with Fallon.
Tersch frowned. “Yeah, how do you know? Because Kisho never says shit about his family.”
“Because they treated him like crap.” Fallon sighed. “Look, I didn't want to betray a confidence. And I never meant to look into Kisho's head, but sometimes he doesn't shield so well. I couldn't help it,” he said to Morgan in apology.
Jules growled, “Explain.”
“Kisho's dad met and fell in love with his mom in Japan, where she lived. Except his mom came from a very conservative family. So when an American sailor knocked up his daughter, Kisho's grandfather forced her to hide her pregnancy and break off with her lover. Kisho's dad didn't even know about Kisho until he was sixteen.”
Morgan's heart broke anew for his lover. He didn't like hearing the truth from Fallon, but since Kisho had yet to share, he'd take whatever he could get. Just how much more did Fallon know?
Fallon continued. “Kisho spent a few years with his mom's family. She died when he was two. His grandmother tried, but the grandfather was a real SOB. Kicked Kisho out when he was still a kid. Our buddy spent his childhood in the streets learning to fend for himself.”
“Shit.” Tersch blinked, stunned. “That royally sucks.”
“Yeah.” Fallon blew out a breath. “Look, don't tell Kisho I told you. He's really private, and I don't want him to think I was prying, when I wasn't.” Jules nodded, his gaze glued to Morgan's face. “Finish it, Fallon. Tell us the rest.”
“Yeah, ah, well, so Kisho's dad finally returned on his last tour of duty to Japan. I'm not sure about details, but somehow, his dad found him and brought him home. Raised him right, loved him, and all that. Kisho eventually joined the navy, and the rest is history.” Everyone remained silent.
Morgan couldn't stand it any longer. He wanted Kisho. He turned to go, but Jules stopped him.
“Where do you think you're going?”
“To get my mate.”
“Mate? I thought you weren't Circ.”
He didn't like Jules's probing. “Back off.”
Jules took a step closer. “He's mine, Morgan. You want him, you have to go through me.” Morgan growled, “Fine.” He didn't back down or look away from the danger growing in Jules's energy. The large man grew steadily larger, tearing through his shirt as he changed into a huge beast.
Morgan didn't care. For Kisho, he'd go through hell. And he knew he had something to prove if he hoped for a future with his lover.
“You smell like him,” Jules said.
“He's mine.”
“Not until I say he is.”
“This is friggin' bizarre.” Tercsh shook his head. “Who knew Kisho would go for a dude?”
“We all did, dumbass.” Fallon snorted.
Morgan didn't answer, but he turned when he caught the scent of orange spice in the air.
“Here it comes,” Tersch muttered. “Kisho,” he said in a louder voice. “Where you been, buddy?”
Kisho growled. Morgan didn't dare take his eyes from Jules, not able to ignore the threat a heartbeat from ripping his head from his body. And then Kisho pushed himself between them, in all his changed, beastly glory. His skin a shade darker, hair down to the small of his back, and those large hands ending in claws showcased the predator normally buried in his lover.
“What's this about claiming Morgan? Your new mate, Kisho?” Jules rumbled, the threat clear in his tone.
Morgan didn't intend to let Kisho fight his battles, but Fallon pulled him back.
“Get off me.”
“No.” Fallon changed in an instant, growing several inches taller than Morgan. “Kisho has to do this.”
Morgan wanted to argue, but intuition forced him to remain silent.
“Is he yours, Kisho?” Jules asked.
When Kisho failed to respond, Morgan frowned.
“Is he yours?” Jules asked again, sounding angry.
Kisho glanced behind him and met Morgan's gaze.
The absolute lack of emotion bothered him. That wall of silence normally shielded Kisho's emotions from the world, hiding what bothered him.
“Kisho? What's wrong?” And why the hell was Hawkins angry? Was he jealous? Because that was just too damned bad.
Fallon released him and walked toward his teammate. “Kisho? Don't, man.” Morgan wished like hell he knew what Kisho was thinking, because the worry on Fallon's face alarmed him.
Tersch took a step forward, concern etched into his own changed features. “Hayashi? You don't look so good. Dude, you okay?”
“No, I'm not okay. I did what Jules told me to, and now I'm a pariah. Shit, Jules. You told me to fuck him. I did. We know more now than we did before. What's the goddamn problem?” Morgan couldn't speak. Kisho couldn't mean it. They'd shared more than bodies, but spirits as well. “Kitsu, what—”
“What? We fucked, big deal. I do it with them all the time. Circ hormones, nothing more.
Don't read anything into it.” The cold voice ripped at his heart.
Floored, Morgan didn't know what to say. Sure, he'd rushed Kisho, but he'd been sure they shared something deeper than just sex. He loved this man, this beast before him, with everything he had. Apparently, Kisho didn't feel the same. From the look on his face, he never would.
But that incredible intimacy, their shared spirits. Had it all been a lie, something that Morgan wanted so blindly, he'd ignored the truth in front of him?
Morgan blanked all expression from his face, wounded and determined not to show it. But how could he have been so wrong about his kitsu? As he stood there looking at a cold stranger, a part of him shriveled and died.
Before he did or said something he'd regret, he turned and left the gym. No one stopped him.
And he kept right on walking
Kisho's heart raced as he fought his beast's instinct to go after his mate and stop him.
“What?”
Tersch frowned. “You really fucked Morgan because Jules told you to? Come on, man. I'm not buying it.”
Jules crossed his arms over his chest and didn't speak.
The disappointment on his face looked all too familiar. The dreams. It had all come true.
Kisho was a step closer to being rejected from the only people in the world he could call family.
It was his childhood all over again.
Fallon ripped into him. “You're an asshole, Hayashi. And I never thought I'd say that to you. To Tersch or even Jules, yeah, but not you.”
“Hey,” Tersch growled.
“Man, Morgan is in love with you. The guy put Ava and Olivia to work learning everything he could about you. He left you flowers, saved your ass, and nearly got himself killed to get us information. Hell, the only reason he's even down here is to claim you.” Stunned, Kisho didn't know what to think. Fallon was pissed because Kisho had rejected Morgan? Or because he'd finally understood Kisho was gay? The others looked equally disappointed, and Kisho inwardly staggered to realize the truth was finally all out there in the open. Soon the past would join the present, and the family he'd craved his whole life would vanish in a puff of smoke.
“I guess you did know more than you were telling us, hmm?” Jules said in a quiet voice to Fallon, who blanched.
“Ah, well, maybe. Shit. Okay, Jules. I didn't say anything about Morgan's intentions because I promised Olivia I wouldn't. You know how touchy Hayashi is about coming out of the closet, like that's any big secret, and—”
“What?” Kisho hadn't just heard that, had he?
Jules snorted. “Kisho, did you really think we didn't know? Hell, Fallon saw you with a guy when we were still active SEALs. You never went out of your way to swing with women.
We all knew.”
Tersch swore. “I didn't. Well, I wondered, but I wasn't sure.” He didn't say anything else, and then he grinned. “But I guess that explains why he gives such good head.” Kisho didn't know what to say. He'd expected aversion, derision, rejection. Not humor, and especially not from Tersch. “But you make jokes all the time. You're uncomfortable about having sex in our normal forms.”
“So what? According to all you pansies, I'm insensitive. Hell, Fallon's worse than you are.
Nancy-boy is thinking of playing house with Olivia. White picket fence, babies, domestic bliss, and all that shit. Pussy whipped.”
Kisho's eyes widened. He turned an accusatory stare on Jules, still not ready to hope that nothing had changed. “You were disgusted I'd had sex with Morgan. You wouldn't look at me.”
Jules's blinked. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“In that bar, when Tersch left with Fallon, drunk off his ass, and that bartender passed me his number. You were mortified the bartender thought you might be gay.” Jules frowned. “Now hold on a minute. First, I was never embarrassed or uncomfortable. I was upset with myself for ordering you to go after Morgan for info. I knew you didn't want to, and we don't need to prostitute ourselves, period. Shit. Okay, so maybe I was a little weirded out when you said you and Morgan had been together. He rubs me the wrong way. He's too—”
“Dominant,” Fallon inserted. “Aggressive.”
“Bossy,” Tersch added. “A lot like you, Jules.”
Jules glared at them before turning back to Kisho. “The only reason I told the bartender you and I weren't a couple was so he'd feel free to give you his number. He'd been eyeing you all night. I didn't want to stand in your way if you wanted to get lucky.” Kisho stared, speechless.
Jules gentled his voice. “For the record, I could give a shit you're gay. In case it's escaped your notice, we've all taken it up the ass and liked it. Being Circ means we're different. Gay, straight, bi. Who gives a crap? Hell, we change into something not quite human. We have more to worry about than sexuality.”
“Ah, now I get it.” Fallon nodded. “Sorry, Hayashi, but you're broadcasting big-time.” He tapped his forehead. “This whole thing is about acceptance. You're a private guy. We get that.
But you don't have to be on guard with us, not the way you used to be.” Kisho didn't want them to know what his life had once been like, but he could see on their faces that they knew. “Fuck.”
“It doesn't matter what you did before we met you, who you were, where you came from,” Fallon said, and Kisho felt, more than saw, Tersch tense. It didn't escape him they all had things in their pasts they wished they could forget. “Kisho, you are who you are. We're family, man.
And if you found someone who makes you happy, you have to listen up.”
“What does your beast say?” Jules asked.
Kisho felt like a complete mess. He didn't do drama, nor did he put himself out there as much as he was doing now. “He's mine.” Kisho cleared his throat and said again, “Morgan's mine.” My mate.
Jules surprised him again by nodding. “He wouldn't look away from me. Defended you when he thought I'd insulted you. He knocked Tersch on his ass.”
“He did not. He knocked you on yours, though.” Tersch promptly shut up when Jules growled.
Hell. Guilt rode Kisho hard. He and Morgan had shared so much in so little time. Had he killed their relationship before it could get started? “Morgan did that?” Jules sighed. “Yeah, the asshole couldn't have cared less that three changed Circs challenged him to man up. He was prepared to go to the wall for you. Claimed you were his and everything.”
Fallon shook his head. “And then you told Jules you fucked Morgan because he ordered you to. Nice going.”
Tersch slung an arm around Kisho's shoulders. “Dude, you have some serious groveling to do. You're good with poetry, but you might want to talk to Fallon about how to make up to your mate. He pisses Olivia off a good four or five times a day, but she puts up with him.” Kisho groaned. He'd really screwed up with Morgan. And as happy as he was that his friends would stand by him, that they accepted him for who he was, his beast fretted about his mate.
“Jules? What about you?” he had to ask. “You okay with Morgan being a part of us?”
“Seems like he's already been a part of you.”
Tersch snickered, and Fallon choked on a laugh.
Jules added, “But he and I are going to have to come to an agreement. If he stays, he needs to know what being a part of the team means.”
Kisho swallowed hard, trying to stifle his beast's possessive insistence that Morgan belonged to him and him alone.
“It'll get easier,” Fallon acknowledged. “I had a hard time sharing Olivia at first, but now she's a part of the team. We only play with others when she wants to. It'll be the same with Morgan.”
Jules nodded. “That's the way we're made. I'm alpha, for better or worse. I can accept Morgan as yours, but my beast needs to acknowledge him as mine, too. And he needs to know there's a pecking order,” Jules ended with a snort.
Jules would need to fuck Morgan into submission, the way he'd done the others. Kisho understood, but he didn't like it. “Well, this may all be moot if I can't get him to forgive me.” Tersch pointed to Fallon. “And there's your answer, my friend. The king of 'I'm sorry.'”
“Dick.”
“You wish.” Tersch turned to Kisho with a grin. “Oh, my bad. Am I not supposed to make any more dick jokes in front of the gay dude? Am I being insensitive again?”
“At least you're consistent.” Kisho shook his head, but inside, he wanted to shout with joy.
Everyone knew the truth, and none of them cared. Nothing had changed, except he had one more hurdle to overcome before he could find a future of happiness. Now to find Morgan and put his mate to rights.
“He's not here?” Kisho stared at Mrs. Sharpe in shock.
“I'm really surprised at you, Kisho.” She shook her head. “If you knew all that boy has done for you. And to treat him li
ke that. How could you?” Kisho blinked away his guilt and cleared his throat.
“Morgan offered to reconnoiter our situation down in Florida. In a few hours, he should be in place to give us a live feed on Delancey.”
Kisho itched to find Morgan, but he wondered if that was best. Maybe Morgan needed space. Maybe he hadn't meant what he'd said about claiming Kisho. Maybe he'd changed his mind.
“Kisho Hayashi, you are sorely trying my last nerve.” Mrs. Sharpe stood and rounded her desk to join him. The petite woman came up to his breastbone. But she poked him in the chest with a finger made of iron. “Morgan is seriously hurting, and I don't put it past him to be more reckless than he needs to be. You go get him and bring him back in one piece.” When he didn't move, she added in a loud voice, “Now.”
Chapter Nine
Morgan stared down at the city without seeing it. If hearts could break, his had a definite tear in it. He'd never gone down without a fight and wouldn't now, but dammit all. How the hell could his kitsu have turned on him like that? Make him feel like nothing in the span of a single denial?
Deliberately making a mockery of what they'd shared hurt. Did Kisho think it would put him in better stead with his friends? The Circs were Kisho's life, Morgan knew. But they didn't seem to mind Morgan all that much. While Kisho had spent the better part of the week avoiding him, the others had done their damnedest to share important things about Kisho's life, as if giving Morgan a subtle okay to pursue his kitsu.
Fallon told him stories upon stories about Kisho. Jules was always there in the gym, testing Morgan, pushing him to be better, to move faster. He'd seemed impressed when Morgan kept up.
It wasn't easy dealing with Circs, but Morgan thought he'd done all right. He'd even calmed Ava a few times after her flare-ups with Tersch, for which the giant seemed grateful, though he'd yet to say thank you. He'd watched Morgan like a hawk, but he hadn't crowded him.