by Raquel Belle
She’d forgive me because she’s the most forgiving, caring, sweetest person I know—and probably the only person who can put me in my place—in my opinion. Then all would be well and we’d be us again. But she left. She never leaves no matter how heated we both get. Dropping down in her chair, I massage my temples, hoping like hell that I didn’t really just push Grace out of my life with my own stupidity.
I did exactly what she said she respected me for never doing. I used my position as her boss to intimidate and to get my own way. Knowing I let her down makes me sick to my stomach. I panicked. She told me she was pretty much ready to walk out of my life, so I did the only thing I could think of to make her stay.
“I’m such an idiot.” I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life when I’ve reacted to anything so irrationally. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a complete loss and the only thing I can think to do now is wait. I have to wait to hear from Grace. Something tells me that if I call her, I’ll only upset her more and push her farther away.
Chapter Thirty-One
Grace
I stare into space, aware of the three pairs of eyes filled with sympathy that are fixed on me. “Having you girls here helps a lot,” I say to break the silence. I just shared the tale of what went down with Nick earlier today with Jazz, Cara, and Beth. They’ve all been stunned beyond words it seems. Beth hasn’t picked her jaw up off the floor yet, she’s still gawking at me. It's a funny sight, but it’s hard for me to get a laugh out right now.
We’re all in my living room and there’s an empty bottle of wine sitting beside another half bottle on the coffee table. The empty one is mostly my doing. I needed something to dull my pain until the gang finished their workdays and were able to drop by. Meeting anywhere else was a big no for me because I’m a mess emotionally and I can only imagine how horrible I look after crying for hours.
I sigh and glance out the window, taking a few seconds to admire the sky, turned gold by the setting sun. “It’s weird how you girls seem to be more surprised than I am about what happened.”
Finally, Beth recovers, snapping her jaw shut to shake her head. “Yeah, because Nick would never make such a threat—never to you.”
“Well, he did,” I murmur bitterly.
“He didn’t mean it. Or the real him was abducted by aliens or something... It just doesn’t sound right.”
My giggle fills the room, taking me by surprise. I had no idea I’d even be able to crack a smile for a while. Beth has always been a cheerleader for a relationship blossoming between Nick and I. Of course she’d defend him.
“Aliens, huh?” Jazz snorts. “You could be on to something because this was totally unexpected. Have you spoken to him since?”
“I did. After I stormed out, I called him a while later. I forced my way through an apology for leaving like that—but come on, it was hard to be professional after something like that. After such a betrayal.”
“I’d have done the same thing,” Beth says. “No way could I continue working as if nothing happened.”
Jazz leans forward. “What did he say?”
“He started to apologize but I didn’t want to hear it. I demanded some time off, which he couldn’t deny me. I haven’t taken a real vacation in years because Nick never takes any. If he wants to suddenly start sticking to the rules and regulations, I have a right to my time off. Right?” I look to Cara for reassurance.
She nods and smiles slightly. “Good on you for standing up for yourself. I think you and Nick should talk in person and work everything out.”
“No way. I’m staying away from him, Cara. I’m just so hurt, I don’t want to see him.”
“Grace—”
“I know I’ll have to confront him eventually, but not until I get back in about two weeks.”
Jazz frowns. “Two weeks. Where are you going?”
“I’m heading home to Long Island to spend some time with Dad and my brothers. It’s long overdue. This is the perfect opportunity to get some family time in. I really need it,” I sigh.
“That’s a good idea,” Beth nods. “Too bad it’ll be a whole two weeks without us meeting up at our spot.”
“What? Long island is like an hour and a half drive to Manhattan. Who says we have to go two weeks without seeing each other? I just can’t stay here.” Looking around the gorgeous apartment, my mood spirals. “I live here because of Nick. I’m in Manhattan because of Nick. It’s like I built my entire life around him,” I wail because the realization just hit me.
Cara sits up with a scowl. “That’s crazy, Grace, and you know it.”
“No, it isn’t. Think about it guys. I’ve worked for him for years, putting my initial career plans aside. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming him for that. I’m the one who got comfortable. I’m the one who didn’t want to leave the job...or him…because like a fool…I fell in love. Not only did I depend on him for a job, but I also forged an important friendship, and he’s pretty much had my heart since the day we met. Don’t you see? For seven years…everything has been built around Nick.”
The girls are back to gaping at me silently as if they’re finally seeing my point.
A single tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly dash it away. I’m surprised my tear ducts haven’t turned into the Sahara with all the bawling I’ve already done. “Things have gone sour between us and it feels like my entire life is falling apart. As ridiculous as that might sound, it’s how I feel. I mean, what am I left with if Nick isn’t a part of my life? I’d just be unemployed, broken-hearted Grace, trying to find her way in the world again. No job, no apartment, no hope of romance with the one person I really want to be with… Well, at least I’d have you girls and my Dad and brothers left, so my life wouldn’t really be a complete waste.”
“Wow.” Beth glances at Jazz and Cara wide-eyed. “As sad as this moment is—you make me realize that I’ve never been in love because I’ve never felt like that after a breakup before. Hell, and you and Nick weren’t even together. My past relationships seem so insignificant now.”
“Tell me about it,” Cara murmurs, all the while gazing at me apologetically. “I’m afraid I can’t fully understand how you feel right now, Grace.”
We all turn to Jazz who remains silent. Her eyes dart around the room and my suspicion rises. I can actually feel Cara’s and Beth’s suspicion mount too because they’re squinting at her as hard as I am. She heaves a loud sigh and throws her hands up. “Alright. Fine. You got me. I guess I have been that much in love before...but, we’re here for Grace. So, let’s focus on comforting her.” She gives us all a warning glare before her expression softens. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Grace. Everything will work out the way it’s meant to.”
“You’re right,” I say the words, sort of like because I want to verbalize an affirmation…but deep down there’s a feeling of hopelessness that I can’t shake. I’m sure it’s because all of my emotional wounds are still fresh. Surely I’ll start to feel better as the days go by. “It sure is going to be hard to return to work in two weeks,” I sigh. Eight more months working as Nick’s assistant is going to be torture. “I don’t want to think about it. Let’s talk about something else, please. What’s up with you ladies?”
The conversation gets much lighter as we chat about random things for a while…and soon…I don’t feel like crying every other minute.
***
“You don’t have to spend the night if you don’t want to, Cara. I’ll be fine.” It’s late and we’re both already dressed for bed, but I’m still giving her an out. It can’t be easy putting so much effort into cheering me up—or trying to, rather.
She picks up the empty glasses and plates from the center table and heads to the kitchen. We all had takeout and did some more drinking before Beth and Jazz left. She glances over her shoulder with a frown. “Are you trying to kick me out so you can carry on with your pity party in private?”
Snorting, I roll my eyes and huff, “Maybe.
And that’s alliteration. You know how I hate it when people see me in tears.”
“Get over it, I’m staying. Besides, the commute from here to my office is so much faster.”
I settle back on the couch and wait for her to return. The second she steps back into the living room, I grin broadly. “I’m glad you’re staying. I know your time would be better spent catching up on work for tomorrow so thank you.”
With a bright smile of her own, she dives onto the cushion next to me. The playful action is so unlike her, I giggle. “Nonsense. Work is less important right now. We can turn this into an adult slumber party with lots of booze and strippers if you want.”
A full belly laugh erupts because the imagery is so entertaining, I launch one of the throw pillows at her. “Oh, my god, thank you for that. It feels good to laugh like this.” I picture my living room full of hunky male strippers and smother another laugh. “What if, right? We’d have to get Jazz and Beth back here. They’d love that.”
“Beth certainly would. Jazz would give us reprimanding glares all night.”
Chuckling, I nod in agreement. “As epic as that slumber party would be, I’d still find time to be miserable.”
Blowing a lock of hair out of her face, she leans closer and nudges me with a shoulder. “It’s going to take some time for you to get over this.”
“It won’t any time soon because when I get back in two weeks, I’ll be right back in the office with Nick. I thought things were awkward between us when we first started sleeping together, imagine how it’s going to be now that we’re...enemies.”
“Come on, Grace. You two aren’t enemies. You had a disagreement―”
“I tried to quit and he threatened me with legal action. That’s so much more than a disagreement.”
“It only feels like it because you two have never had a conventional employer-employee relationship.” She lets out a breath and twists in the couch to face me. “I know Nick is only playing dirty because one, you dropped a bombshell on him and two, he doesn’t want you to leave. Think about it, you’ve practically been the glue that’s held his life together for seven years, not to mention his best friend, and now you want to leave. He just lashed out because of fear.”
“He seemed to mean every word when he said he’d take me to court.”
“He’d never do that.”
Nibbling my fingernails—even though there’s nothing left of them at this point—I shrug, “Doesn’t make me any less hurt. I felt so betrayed.”
“I know. Everything was blown out of proportion because you two were pretty much an item. So, it is like you broke up.”
I jackknife into a sitting position. “Hold on now, that is completely—”
“Don’t bother denying it. I’ve watched you two for years. You were a freaking couple. It’s just that you both were too much in denial to call it what it was. He showers you with expensive gifts—”
“For special occasions.”
“He takes you on trips when it’s not absolutely unnecessary.”
“My presence is comforting and needed,” I fold my arms defensively and glower at Cara.
“You share everything.”
“He’s easy to talk to and he’s comfortable talking to me.”
“I swear you and Nick are closer than you are to us girls.”
“That is so not true. It’s because we’ve worked together for so long.”
“You have the key to each other’s apartments. You just drop in anytime you feel like it even if it isn’t for work.”
“I...he...we…” God damn it! I’ve got no more explanations or excuses about my unconventional relationship with my employer. “We are friends,” I finish weakly.
“Uh huh. Face it, Grace you were pretty much dating.”
“We never went on a real date.”
“What about dinner in Paris?”
“That wasn’t a real date. We went to Paris for work and were just celebrating his victory.”
“Sure, because my boss takes me to France since he knows I’ve always wanted to go, buys me a fortune worth of clothes, jewelry and lingerie whenever we win a case… and then we proceed to sleep together...all the time.”
“Sarcasm doesn’t become you, Cara Conley. And you don’t have a boss.” Laughing, she throws back the pillow I tossed at her and I catch it with a pout. “I hate it when you make me accept truths.” That makes her chortle even louder. “Fine, I see your point. It would appear that we were a couple, but it’s the fact that none of it was real—that was the problem for me.”
“Nick cares about you.” She eyes me cautiously, “I might even say he...loves you.”
“Get real,” I snort.
Cara waves her hands to encompass my posh apartment. “What do you think all of this—the special treatment, the gifts, the insanely high salary, everything—is all about?”
“Nick’s kindness to a woman who is more friend than employee?”
“You get real, Grace,” she returns, rolling her eyes.
“He’s never said the words and he’ll never say them. Nick will never want anything more than a physical relationship with anyone, and the sad part is, I understand why. Say he does have love for me—the man is determined to keep whatever we have labeled as casual because he’s terrified of things going south once we get too serious. I can’t be comfortable or thrive in a relationship like that.”
“And you shouldn’t have to. You deserve the world.”
“I deserve Nick,” I sigh. “His foolish need to keep me at arm’s length aside, he’s a great man.”
Cara smiles sadly and throws an arm around my shoulders. “All I can do now is give you a hug. Get over here.”
Burrowing closer, I rest my head on her shoulder. “This is good. Thanks. I’ve never had this growing up—a female shoulder to cry on and womanly advice. My father and brothers tried and they meant well but an overload of testosterone never worked for situations like this.”
“I can just imagine,” she laughs. “Your brothers and your Dad are amazing but they’re not the most sensitive in delicate situations.”
“Tell me about it. Cara, I really want you to know how much I appreciate you being here. I appreciate all of you, Jazz and Beth too. You girls always make time to be here for me.”
“It’s nothing you wouldn’t do for us, Grace.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without friends like you guys,” I sniff.
“Oh, Grace, don’t cry. Now you’re just getting emotional over everything.”
“I can’t help it. Once the waterworks get turned on, it’s hard to stop.”
Her soft laughter is soothing to my aching heart, and I fall silent. Cara doesn’t say another word, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Instead of dwelling on Nick, I think about Long Island and how happy my father was to hear that I’m finally taking a break to head home.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Nick
It’s been one week since Grace decided to take time off and I’m ready to strangle someone or bash my head into my desk. I’m miserable. My life has become a maelstrom of confusion. Grace’s stand-in—a temp from an agency she did me the courtesy of arranging—has managed to undo Grace’s entire organizational system and has fucked up my life immensely.
Okay, in all fairness, that’s not on the new girl. I messed up my own life by ruining my relationship with Grace. But the temp—whatever her name is―has been driving me crazy. Without Grace, I have no idea what the hell is going on. Yesterday, I didn’t know I had a meeting until the client showed up. There’s nothing I hate more than being unprepared. The day before that I almost missed a meeting with the other partners because the new girl remembered after the meeting was due to start. Of course, they’d waited for me…but I didn’t look very professional showing up late.
Massaging my temples, I try to remind myself to cut her some slack. It’s only been a few days. It’s unfair of me to expect her to catch on so quickly.
“But Grace did
,” I grumble. She started making my life easier the minute I hired her and that’s not even an exaggeration.
There’s a loud crash outside my door and I mutter a curse. God only knows what the new secretary is out there destroying now. My door flies open without a knock, but it’s yanked closed and then I hear a knock. Looking skyward, I bite out, “Come in.”
A head with a mop of black hair pops around the door. “Sorry about not knocking the first time.” The temp smiles shyly and eases the rest of her body around the door cautiously, as if she’s expecting me to attack. I feel bad now because I suppose I have snapped at her a few times. She pushes her glasses up on her nose. “Uh, I got you some coffee, but I had a little accident.”
Of course she did. Did I mention that she’s a klutz? And not the adorable kind where you can’t help laughing at her antics. No, this one is a massive, walking disaster zone. That reminds me, we need a new copier because she broke ours on her second day here.
“Thanks, but I told you, I don’t drink the coffee here.” It tastes like crap. That’s why Grace always got me coffee from outside.
“Oh, right. It slipped my mind.”
As does everything else. “Don’t worry about it...forgive me, I forgot your name.”
Her face is now bright red. “It’s Penny.”
“Right. Penny. I don’t need any coffee, but thanks.” She doesn’t move, she just continues to stand there and stare at me. I stare back at the woman and let out a breath. She’s young—maybe as young as Grace was when she started working for me. Her brown eyes dart all over the place behind her wire-rimmed frames. She’s nervous and jittery all the time and it irritates the hell out of me. Grace always seemed to bounce off the walls too but her energy is bubbly and warm and always puts me at ease. I’m sure if she were here, I’d have cracked a smile or two by now.
“Is there something I can help you with, Penny? Your staring at me is getting uncomfortable.”