“What for?”
“For getting Luka involved in all of this. I asked him to leave with me.”
She places her hand on mine. “Luka doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to. That’s why he left with you.”
It was hard not to feel guilty. If Luka had stayed, he might have been re-matched with someone else. Or he might have been tortured for information.
“I want to thank you,” Sylvie says.
“For what?”
“For bringing the smile back to my son’s face.”
Chapter 21
I curl next to Luka in the makeshift bed on the floor. The house is quiet, and we are alone—the first time in days. Justin is at work in the tattoo shop, and the stragglers who were here have left. Luka lies with a pillow propped under his head. His body is warm, and I lay my head in the crook of his arm.
The power was out when we got back to Justin’s. He has the windows in the front of the house boarded up, so the living room is so dark that I can’t tell the difference between eyes open or closed. Luka exhales deeply and adjusts the pillow. He’s trying to get comfortable…as comfortable as he can on the hard floor.
It’s late and my legs are tired from the walk home. But my brain is buzzing again, and I know it’s going to be another sleepless night. I want to ask Luka about Marissa, but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. He didn’t tell me about her, for whatever reason, and I don’t want to make this situation any worse than it already is.
“You ready for tomorrow?” Luka says before yawning.
Margaret’s text message made it through just before the phone’s battery died. We’ll find out if she’s had any luck locating her connection to Ward Eight. My stomach churns. I know finding Shane is a step in the right direction, but secretly, I’m hoping for some more time before I have to face him.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I say, thankful Luka can’t see my face.
“I hope at least Margaret got in touch with that contact. Without him, we don’t have much to go on.”
“We can do this with or without his help.” I sit up, searching for a hint of Luka’s face in the darkness. My confidence surges knowing he can’t read the emotion on my face. He can’t see the dread or the fear or the uncertainty of the words I say. As long as I speak with enough force, he’ll believe me. “With or without his help, I’m going back to Eight.”
“Hazel, going back to Eight without some kind of plan or way in is a suicide mission. It won’t work, so don’t even try.”
I grow annoyed by Luka’s insistence that the success of this task lies in Shane. “You don’t think I already know we need a plan? I’m not a child.”
“I never said you were a child.”
“Then stop talking to me like one.”
I get up, no longer able to tolerate the suffocation of the dark room. I can’t get my bearings in here. The blackness eats up all perception of depth, space, distance. I need to be outside and feel open space around me. I carefully get up from the floor and maneuver my way to the back door in the kitchen, hoping I don’t trip over anything on the way.
“Hazel!” I hear Luka call after me, but I ignore him.
After swinging the door open, I stomp outside and feel the cool air. The dazzling stars fill every space in the sky, and the enormity takes my breath away. I keep walking, not knowing where I’m going and not really caring at the moment. I haven’t had a minute to myself these last few days, and I’m craving the feeling of being alone.
The few streetlights on this road are out, and I am the only one outside…the only one crazy enough to be out late at night in Ward One alone.
I laugh.
This is how it all started. Running off, thinking you can do everything on your own.
I don’t get far when I hear my name being called.
“Hazel!” Luka calls.
“Please. Don’t follow me!” I call back, knowing he won’t listen.
“Are you crazy?” he asks me, pulling on my elbow. “You can’t be roaming around here at night alone. It isn’t safe.”
He’s right, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I want to be in my Ward again, home. I want to be at Razor Pointe, floating mindlessly in the lake, pretending I don’t have a care in the world.
“Hazel!”
This time I stop. Luka says my name with such desperation it makes me turn my head. We’re still a reasonably safe distance from the house. I pause for a few seconds, trying with my eyelids to push back the tears swelling in my eyes. Not here. Not now. I don’t feel like explaining the saga behind these tears.
“People are depending on me.” I look away, my vulnerability seeping through my cracked voice. “I can’t let them down.”
Luka reaches out his hand to me, goose bumps from the cool air spreading along his muscular arm. “I’m sorry.”
It’s all he says, but I see much more in his eyes. I reach for his hand, and he laces his fingers in between mine. He jerks me in close so that our noses are just touching. He gently pushes the loose hair of my ponytail away from my face, eventually sliding his hand down my neck. He looks straight at me, and I refuse to look away, even though it is my first instinct to do so. His eyes search mine, looking for something. What? I’m not sure. This staring is burning away at me, and I’m afraid I’ll crack down the middle and fall away like a boulder that has broken away from the mountainside.
Feeding off the adrenaline coursing through me, I lean into him, pressing my lips to his. It’s the first kiss I’ve initiated in a while, and it feels good to have control over something when everything seems so beyond my reach. Luka presses me at the small of my back, pushing me against his body. I kiss him harder, so hard Luka takes a step back to steady himself. I launch myself at him, letting go of any apprehensions, and wrap both legs around his waist. I feel his hands under each one of my thighs, supporting me as he makes his way back to the house, our lips never breaking. He stumbles and almost falls but manages to carry me back inside, our kissing growing fervently with each step. The house is still dark, and Luka trips over a box of empty orange juice containers on the floor. He plops me on the kitchen table, ignoring the scattered mess. His lips travel down my neck and to my collarbone, gentle as a moth’s wings flicking my skin. I pull the back end of his shirt over his head, and he discards it on the floor. He does the same to me, and I sit on the kitchen table in my bra and jeans, Luka in only his sweatpants, the chain around his neck grazing the tattoo near his collarbone. His mother had placed it on him during our visit. She said it would offer protection. I wondered how something so fragile could hold such power.
It feels so good to let go, and I close my eyes to savor the feeling. But when I do, I feel a shift in the light and open them only to be blinded by the bright bulb burning in the light fixture above the table.
“You do know that I eat on that table,” says a familiar voice.
Luka turns as I peer over his shoulder. There’s Justin, home from work, casually leaning against the doorframe, as if he comes home to scenes like this all the time.
I cower behind Luka, remembering I am without a shirt. Justin tries to remain serious but can’t help the smile that is giving him away.
“By the way…power’s back on.” He passes us as he says it, leaving Luka and I dumbfounded in the kitchen.
* * * *
Luka knocks on the door. It’s midafternoon, but the overcast sky darkens everything. I anxiously wait for someone to open the door. Luka looks over to me, probably sensing my nervous tension.
“Are you all right?” he asks quietly, raising one eyebrow.
“Yeah. Fine. Why?”
“You just seem…tense.”
I shrug him off and continue to tap my hand against my leg. Tense? Why would I be tense? I’m only minutes away from hearing news about Shane, and I think I’m going to throw up. I thought about telling Luka about him last night. After Justin found us misusing his kitchen table, we decided it would probably be best to call it a night. We
reluctantly shirted back up and headed to our bedroom on the living room floor. The adrenaline rushing through my body almost caused me to open my mouth about my undisclosed connection with Shane.
Luka knocks on the door again, harder this time. We wait a few seconds before the door swings open, and it looks like that day has come sooner than I hoped it would. I see staring back at me, one blue eye, one brown.
Chapter 22
I gape at the person standing in front of me. He has Shane’s face but looks back at me with empty recognition. I take a step forward, looking deeper into his eyes.
“Hello,” he says.
“Shane?”
He shakes his head. “Riley, his brother.”
“Riley? He never told me he had a brother.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, but the shock of seeing Shane’s face on somebody else pulls the words right out of me.
“Hazel, right?” Riley offers me his hand, and I shake it limply, reeling in stunned silence.
“Luka.” Luka offer his hand.
Riley and Luka look at one another for a few brief seconds, but to me it feels like an eternity. They’re silently measuring each other up, trying to gauge the other’s intentions.
“Nice to meet you,” says Riley in a guarded tone.
“Same here.” Luka tries to keep his voice level.
“Come in.” He waves us in the house.
It’s not much bigger than Justin’s, but it’s a hell of a lot cleaner. Margaret knows the woman who lives here, Ellen. They used to work together in one of the Citizen hospitals before the Affliction.
We’re led into the living room where there are three small couches set up in a semicircle, topped with folded blankets and pillows.
I can’t peel my eyes off Riley. Why would Shane never mention an identical twin? What else don’t I know about him? He was starting to feel more like a stranger. Did he ever mention me to Riley?
Margaret is seated on the next couch, fiddling with a cell phone. Ellen is sitting next to her, fussing with her own phone. They both look up at us temporarily to say hello. Margaret makes introductions. Ellen knew my mom, too.
“So, what’s the latest?” Luka asks. “Obviously, you haven’t found the guy you were looking for.” He looks over to Riley from the corner of his eye. The undertone of his voice commands the attention of the room.
Riley sits up. “I haven’t heard from my brother in three days. Right after Margaret informed us of your escape, he disappeared from First City and headed here.” He looks at me as he speaks.
Is Shane looking for me?
“Riley brought us these old phones he swiped from the junk room at the Command Center. They’re untraceable, and we’re trying to see if we can get them to work. If only I had Jasco…”
Margaret doesn’t finish the sentence. She exhales lightly and continues. “If we can get them to work, then we’ll be able to move between Wards and still keep in touch with each other.” Margaret pushes buttons and holds the phone to her ear as she talks to us.
I shudder at the thought of Shane at the Command Center.
Luka folds his arms over his chest. “Well, I hate to be Mr. Obvious, but you’re only holding two phones, and there are five people in this room.”
Riley turns his head away from Luka and scratches above his eyebrow. He doesn’t do much to hide the contempt in his voice. “This might surprise you but getting these phones out of the Command Center and through eight Wards wasn’t exactly an easy task.”
Luka scoffs but keeps his thoughts to himself. He leans back into the couch. “So, what’s the plan then?”
No one answers. Instead, we’re all listening to the ringing phone in Ellen’s hand.
“It works!” Ellen calls, holding up the phone. She and Margaret mention something about saving the numbers and then powering off the phones, since charging the batteries might be difficult with the frequent black outs.
Margaret clears her throat as Ellen leaves to put the phones in a secure place.
“Here’s the situation,” she says to us all. “From what we know right now, the Officials confiscate the babies.
“How do we know this?” asks Luka.
Riley smirks. “Whetherby is my uncle. I’m the last person he suspects would give him away. My brother and I are at the Command Center all the time running errands for him. I know what’s going on, trust me.”
I glare at Riley, forgetting for a minute that it isn’t Shane staring back at me. How could I have fallen for his lies so easily? But did he really lie?
Suddenly, a thought occurs to me.
“What about the parents?” I ask.
“They’re put back into the breeding rooms,” Margaret says. “Or disposed of.”
Meanwhile, Ellen returns and finds her place back on the couch.
“Will the Officials come looking for us?” Luka asks.
Margaret looks to Riley and nods ever so slightly.
Riley avoids my eyes and speaks. “You two are the first to ever escape from the Antioch. I overheard my uncle talking to the President about setting an example to avoid future escape attempts.”
“What kind of example?” Luka asks impatiently.
Riley hesitates.
“Just say it.”
“Public execution,” Riley says. “You two. Your sister. The baby.”
My mouth dries up. “The baby? But that doesn’t make any sense.” The bile rises in my throat.
“They don’t care,” Riley says. “People who are reaped for breeding don’t know that they don’t keep the babies. The Officials will exploit that fact.”
My brain starts racing, trying to piece the puzzle together.
What are the President and Whetherby so desperate to hide that they’ll kill whoever stands in their way, and how do I dig it up?
* * * *
After an hour of deliberation, we decide to break up into two groups. Margaret and Ellen are leaving to meet with another Official rebel who will help us get into the Command Center. Luka, Riley and I will try to find some information on the Ruser Luka tattooed. We plan to meet later tonight to go to the tattoo parlor to ask some of the customers.
Margaret and Luka head to the kitchen to exchange phone numbers and other information regarding Margaret and Ellen’s trip.
My body and mind are going head-to-head. My brain is telling me to move! Do something! Don’t just sit here! But my body is tired, and I know there is nothing more we can do without more information. So, I try to quell the whirl of what-ifs, how-comes, and if-onlys reeling through my mind. I curl my legs into my chest and exhale, long and deep, over and over, until I feel the tension in the pit of my stomach dissolve.
Riley moves from his spot on the couch and sits down next to me.
“Can I talk to you outside?” he asks.
I nod and follow him through the kitchen to the back door. We pass by Luka and Margaret in mid conversation and I see Luka stop talking, watching us as we pass. I want to combust into a million little pieces.
The backyard is fenced in and severely overgrown. The clouds are now a deep gray color, and it looks as though they could burst at any minute. There is an old, white plastic patio set to the left of the backyard. The wind is picking up from the impending storm as dirty plastic cups and old newspapers swirl in circles in the air. Riley passes the patio set and continues toward a gate in the fence that leads to a wooded area in the back.
Once we’re both through, he closes it behind us and grabs my hand, leading me away from the house…and Luka.
Chapter 23
“I think this is far enough,” I say.
Riley doesn’t stop, doesn’t even look back, and continues to pull me, his grip tightening with every step. He’s walking so fast I’m having trouble keeping up, and I trip over fallen branches and more windswept trash.
“Riley!”
Finally, we stop, and he drops my hand abruptly. His back is to me, and I stand with my arms crossed over my chest, waiting for him to turn
around. The chilly air seeps into me and goosebumps prickle my skin.
Riley finally turns around, narrowing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “He’s looking for you.”
“Who?” My voice is dripping with venom. It’s so easy to take out my frustration on Riley, even though I know my anger has nothing to do with him. I look away, swallowing the emotion building in my throat. Is it anger? Sadness? I can’t tell anymore. All my emotions are jumbling into one giant ball of flaming wax. Did Shane have something to do with getting me out of the Antioch? I couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt to realize it wasn’t important enough for him to be here.
“Don’t play games. I know who you are.”
Thunder rolls in the background. I look up into the sky, waiting for the rain.
“Do you have any idea where he might be?” I say.
“Not exactly, but I have a feeling he’s somewhere in this Ward.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because it’s his usual hiding spot when he needs time to think, away from my uncle’s eyes and ears.” Riley pauses and chuckles softly. “He was right, though.”
“About what?”
“About you being beyond pissed when you find out he has a twin.”
I fold my arms across my chest. “Yeah, well, that would have been nice to know before.”
“Hazel, I’m—”
“It’s fine,” I lie. “I’m over it. You don’t need to explain yourself.” The rain starts to trickle from the clouds, dotting my arms. “We’d better get back inside.” I turn to head back to the house. I feel the tug of my arm as Riley grabs on to my hand.
“What? There’s nothing more to say,” I yell back at him, wiping the water from my face.
“He knew it would be better if he stayed away. It was too risky to contact you right now.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Shane is becoming more and more like a dream I had once. The details of our relationship are fading a bit more each day. Until I’d seen Riley’s face, I was starting to doubt whether Shane had been real at all.
The Unforgiven (The Propagation Project Book 1) Page 10