He laughed out loud. ‘That’s a great accent, but please don’t try that salute bollocks again, it looks like you’ve got Parkinson’s!’ I didn’t know whether to laugh with him or be pissed off.
Pun came over and saw me dressed up, looked at Camouflage. ‘Really?’
I jumped in quickly. ‘If they aren’t expecting anyone to break in then seeing me in correct uniform walk around a corner won’t put them on edge as much as someone not in uniform or British DPM before you two pop out and slot them will it. Eh?’
They both looked at each other and laughed. ‘Got a bit of a Walt about this one.’ Said Pun.
‘Yeah but I can vouch for him when the shit hits the fan he won’t run out on us.’
‘Nor would one of my guys but seeing as it’s his girlfriend I’d want to do the same I suppose.’ Relented Pun.
‘Hey guys I am stood here, and is it that obvious about me and sue?’ I asked.
Pun replied. ‘You’re a walking hard on when she’s around so I’d say yeah.’ He and camouflage both laughed again at my expense.
Fair one I suppose but at least I was now going in.
‘Where did you get that uniform from?’ Camouflage asked.
‘There was only one guy in uniform.’ I told him but that didn’t deter him, so I pointed him in the direction of my slain zombies and off he trotted for a few minutes. When he was finished doing what he was doing he went straight to the back of the 110 and faffed about for a bit then re-joined us. What that was all about I didn’t know.
The guys would bring the Land Rovers further up to the fence as close as possible, lined up for escape along the green lane, and use them as firing platforms to cover our escape if needed. I already had a feeling that they were going to be very much needed. We three were going to go in through a soon to be made slit in the fence and then get in through a fire door and then wing it from there.
The vehicles moved slowly and as quietly as possible to their required location and the guys got themselves ready, weapons trained on the building and compound taking in all they see with the technology they had aiding them and one guy with night vision goggles watching their backs from zombie attack from the rear. No-one wanted to be attacked from the rear by a zombie did they? We could see upwards of 40 zombies gathered at the front fence and gates but virtually none around the back here. We could easily slip past the ones that were around to get to the fence which is what we did.
At the fence, Pun pulled out his bolt croppers from his small rucksack and soon had a slit open big enough for us to slip through. Once on the other side Pun replaced it and used small pieces of black coloured wire, like you used to have on freezer bags before the zip lock was invented, to hold it back together should anyone be looking for it. A quick glance and you wouldn’t notice but we knew where it was, and it would come apart no problem with a shoulder barge or swift kick to allow a quick exit. We then made the twenty-yard dash to the first available fire escape door fast and low. There were no PIR lights we knew on this side from the recce the guys gave it earlier and no look outs, they must be quite under staffed to only concentrate on the easy to get to front and sides and be concerned with zombie attacks only.
We got to the door with no problems. Looking back at where we had come from you couldn’t even see the vehicles never mind the deadly collection of men and weaponry behind it and the scrub hedge. The warehouse was the usual metal frame, metal clad walls and roof, with breeze blocks from floor to top of door height construction found all over the UK. Camouflage got out his sheath knife. The door was locked but would open outwards towards us as any fire door should and should only have a middle bar inside locking it but better to find out before we try it. He put the point of the blade in the top of the door and prized it outwards against the door frame a centimetre or so. He repeated the process with the bottom of the door and it also flexed outwards, we were now sure the door was not security bolted top or bottom.
The locking mechanism on a fire door is the same as a Yale type lock on a house door. If it slams behind you it can lock you out, this is because instead of a mortice lock that is a solid oblong bar that is locked by turning a key, a Yale type lock is a spring-loaded wedge and when it closes, the wedge slides along a striking plate on the door frame, slides back into the lock and then when it reaches the hole in the striking plate it then springs forward and then locks the door. Most Yale type locks have a dead lock function. A little button that slides up which then prevents the wedge-shaped bolt from being forced back in but only works from the inside and is why a Yale type lock should always be used in conjunction with a minimum of a five-lever mortice lock. Fortunately for us the fire escape mechanism wouldn’t have a dead lock, and unfortunately for the guys inside there is a way to open it from outside.
Camouflage turned away from the door and looked around briefly then found a two-litre pop bottle amongst some wind-swept rubbish a few feet away. Using his knife he cut the top and the bottom off the bottle leaving a foot long, clear plastic cylinder. He cut this cylinder from top to bottom and rolled out the sheet of plastic. Pun knew exactly what Camouflage was doing so he helped hold the plastic down so he could cut a rough circle out with the point of his knife. Once he had the circle he tidied it up a bit and then re-rolled it tightly in his hands warming the plastic and making it springy at the same time. When he was satisfied it was springy and soft enough he started working the plastic into the slim gap between the door and frame, rotating it as he did so. The plastic soon caught the lock and by continued twisting and turning, the plastic worked its way between the lock wedge and the striker plate until it had pushed it back into the lock body and the door opened out towards us. We were in.
The corridor was lit, not overly lit though which would work great for us and me in this blood covered uniform. The inside walls were plaster board partition walls and looked fairly flimsy. A brief look up at the walls and ceilings showed there was no CCTV cameras covering us. We were good to go! I took the lead, staying several meters ahead with no weapons in hand and trying to look in no way threatening, I wanted the people that I bumped into to kind of doubt themselves, not believe that anyone would be brazen enough to break in and have to do a double take and by then it would be too late.
Within moments I was about to test my theory out as I was approached by two soldiers. No rifles, just side arms strapped to their legs in drop down holsters, holding paper work and obviously discussing it between themselves. None of them displayed any level of rank, not that I knew any other than sergeant had three chevrons, so I just nodded and didn’t salute as I passed them. They slowed their strides down and both looked at each other, they knew something was different, even wrong but needed confirmation from each to be sure. As they turned towards me to challenge me, Camouflage and Pun appeared, got them both in sleeper holds and choked them out into unconsciousness between their not insignificant biceps and lowered them to the ground. It took them seconds to cable tie both their wrists, ankles and then ankle to wrists before shoving material deep into their mouths. Putting a gag on like in the movies doesn’t work. Sound is produced in the voice box but needs the mouth to amplify the noise for speech. If the mouth cavity is filled then no sound comes out. Not only that but they would probably be too scared of the material moving and going down their throats and choking them.
The door to my left I opened like I was supposed to be there and walked right in, but the light was off and the room empty. We stashed the two Hog tied soldiers in there, with their weapons removed. We didn’t need them, so Pun reached up and pushed one of the polystyrene ceiling tiles up and threw the pistols into the ceiling cavity.
The next room was also empty and dark, but the room on my left had voices coming from it. The small door window allowed me to see three people, one was stood up close to the door and two were sat at desks. I knocked lightly on the door and as it opened I did my best ‘THIS IS SPARTA!’ Kick to his chest, sending him sprawling across the room and smacking heavily i
nto a large metal filing cabinet. I had followed him in as he went flailing backwards as the other two sprang in from behind me. As my man bounced off the cabinet already dazed and in pain I caught him with an elbow to the face and he dropped to the floor unconscious with a crimson nose and split top lip explosion across his face. Pun and Camouflage had the two under cover with their pistols and had already started hog tying and gagging them. With Camouflage kneeling on one soldier’s chest with all his weight he asked where the woman captured earlier was being kept. You could see the surprise on the others faces as he asked about her, they really didn’t think that we would track them and conduct a rescue, certainly not this quickly.
The two un-sparta’d Soldiers weren’t giving anything away. We could have slapped them around for a bit, that was what I was about to suggest and kind of looking forward to when Camouflage unslung his ruck sack, stood up, undid the flap and shook out the head of the soldier whose uniform I was wearing. Despite not having a lower jaw bone they all recognised him that much was evident and although I had killed the brain, when Camouflage grabbed the severed head and threatened to stab them with the exposed teeth still dripping blood, flesh and saliva from the upper jaw they soon began offering information of her location.
With the head back in the bag and knowing where Sue now was we turned out the light and left them in the room zip tied and gagged. We did the same again with the pistols, throwing them into the ceiling cavity but the next person I met was alarmed straight away. Luckily he was rooted to the spot and froze instantly when I raised my gun. The two hog-tied him in record time, though they were fast running out of cable ties, took him back a few yards opened the door and deposited him with the last three.
That was six down, four outside out on stag so that left an estimated fifteen still inside the building to contend with. Sue was just around the next corner in a room opposite the stairs we were told. We got to the next corner, I took a breath and I stepped around first, the others were to give me the count of five unless they heard anything different. As I mentally counted to five I sensed them step out behind me just as a door straight down the corridor opened and three soldiers armed with rifles, stepped out. Had Pun and Camouflage stepped out later we may have had a chance, but these guys weren’t the ordinary grunts we had already bumped into, these guys were sharp, they didn’t need time to process that a badly dressed, blood covered soldier followed by two guys in British DPM uniforms wasn’t right. Straight away they had their rifles raised, us all covered and were shouting orders for us to drop our weapons.
Pun and Camouflage looked at each other but knew it would be suicidal to carry on. I however thought I could turn this to an advantage. I stepped to one side flat against the wall and in my best American accent I said. ‘Thank fuck, they’ve tied up several men in the last office.’ I bent forward to show some of the blood. ‘And I’ve caught a round here.’
I was hoping my little rouse, should they believe it, would thin them out, one to help me and the rest to untie the captives and cover Pun and Camouflage, with view to them over powering them. But that idea was soon shot to shit! One of the soldiers, without taking his eyes off his sights on the other two spoke.
‘Fuck me Salkin, first you get shot for desertion, rise like the Lord Jesus Christ himself, fuck off as a zombie then you come back in here four days later with two Brits in tow and have also lost your southern accent.’ Bollocks, I was busted too!!
Chapter 10
Pun and Camouflage had their guns and knives taken from them, were given a brief search where they found another pistol, a small .22 automatic of some kind in the front of Puns waistband and a Fairbairn-Sykes dagger, a thin double sided blade used by the SAS and Royal Marines during the second world war onwards for a time, in a scabbard up his sleeve on his left arm. Very assassin’s creed! Neither of them said a bloody word while being frisked. They both kept their heads down and hardly reacted to anything. They got the odd tap from a rifle butt to encourage them to open their legs or what not but that was it. They never even resisted when they had the cuffs slapped on behind their backs and were walked/semi pushed into an empty and lockable room that was to be our makeshift cell.
I couldn’t believe these two were being such push overs and it was pissing me off. Me on the other hand, I was having a surge of adrenalin and thought I could take them on. As the other two were being walked into the makeshift cell I pushed one soldier away in the chest with both hands and was then grabbed in a bear hug from behind by another. I had been in this situation not so long ago before and come out on top, I was determined to do the same this time. I lifted my legs up high and kicked out with both feet planting them into the first soldier’s chest again, putting him right on his arse and hitting the wall with his head, putting it through the plasterboard and him out for the count. The force of kicking the first soldier pushed the one holding me back too. Something I learnt whilst watching Kari Byron from MythBusters in my underpants one boring ball-scratching Sunday morning about equal and opposite opposing forces and all that stuff. The second soldier hit the solid wall behind heavily, but it didn’t spark him out. I swung my elbows wildly left and right into his ribs and lashing my head repeatedly backwards into his face until he let me go. I stood up slightly dizzy and realised I was shouting aloud that the other two should join in and that we could drop these wankers.
The soldier covering Pun and Camouflage still hadn’t changed his stance, he was still covering them with his M4. I picked up the .22 pistol from the filing cupboard they had placed it on when they searched Pun but before I could find a target, aim and fire, every muscle in my body stiffened and spasmed with the worst cramp I had ever experienced, and I hit the floor like a wet fish. I received a few kicks from the soldier holding the tazer, it was the one I had been head butting on the floor, his face was a mess, his eyes were swelling, his lip was split in at least two places and his nose was flattened. I hoped the blood running down the back of my neck was his. As my muscles became mine again to use I curled up into a ball with one hand covering my face and one covering my balls as another few kicks rained in on me.
Once they had recovered their mate half buried in the plasterboard wall, sat him in a chair and gave him a quick once over and had finished their fun with me I was cuffed, but with my hands in front, not like the other guys, then walked/semi carried into the room and dumped on my side. The other two were sat against the far wall, heads bowed to the floor saying nothing still. They left us without saying a word then locked the door behind them. My nose was bleeding but didn’t think it was broken, my lip was bleeding and split, two ribs that I thought might have been broken in the explosion definitely were now, the hand I had been covering my balls from the kicking hurt like hell but I didn’t think it was broken. At least my balls were okay. I sat myself up painfully and looked at them both.
‘Are you two some kind of wankers?’ I spat. Bloody phlegm speckling the floor in front of me and hung off my bottom lip and chin. ‘We could have been out of here! We could have dropped them, got Sue and been gone!’ I was fucking fuming, the adrenalin was still coursing through me, the taser had only subdued it temporarily.
They both slowly lifted their heads, solemnly looked at me, then each other, then burst out belly laughing!
Pun spoke first. ‘Fair play mate I agree with Marc that you can handle yourself, but you should have played the grey man like we did. Look at us. We didn’t get a kicking; we took in what information we could and now we need to play the longer game. We were captured yes but we... until you kicked off… raised little noise of the fact. We now know where Sue is, we now know there are very few people guarding us. The rest are asleep, or would all have been on us. We also know that most of these guys are your average GI. The ones that captured us and you had a fair go at were the same as Marc here took out in the helicopter and the ambush earlier.’ I was still looking at him with daggers in my eyes. ‘Three of them are on duty the other three of them left are probably asleep with th
e rest of the people here on a twelve on, twelve off rota, which I would imagine being six to six. That gives us one and a half hours until light and two hours to six.’ He sat back. ‘We have plenty of time.’
I looked over at Camouflage but didn’t get to say anything. ‘He’s right mate. We catch our breath, let their adrenalin settle, then bust out of here, get Sue, get to the vehicles and we are off home for tea and medals!’
Still bubbling with anger I asked the simple question of. ‘And how in the ACTUAL FUCK do we do that from here?!’ Semi whispering, semi shouting.
Camouflage smiled his big toothy grin and produced his handcuffs from behind his back, unlocked. ‘With magic of course my non-believer!’
I was gob smacked. ‘How in the bloody hell did you do that?’ Pun was already shuffling around for Camouflage to open his cuffs.
He held up a gold wedding band. ‘My dad’s wedding ring, all I have left of him. When we were at the safe house I found some feeler gauges for adjusting spark plug gaps out of a tool box and thought they could be useful, so I ground a recess into the inside of the ring to put two thin lengths of feeler gauge in.’ He opened Puns cuffs in seconds. ‘And I can use the metal to get in between the case and the mechanism and slip the locks!’ He looked at Pun. ‘Okay, what have we got then?’
I was wondering what he meant, but as he came over to undo my cuffs Pun started pulling at his uniform. He pulled back one badge to reveal a Stanley blade still in its waxed paper. He pulled back another badge to reveal half a match book of water proof matches. He broke a button open to reveal a small oil filled compass. From various other hidden seams and folds in his smock and trousers he pulled out a packet the size of a single serve vinegar packet that just said ‘flammable’ on it, some fishing line and hooks, some brass wire snares and lastly a condom.
The Reanimated Dead (Book 2): The Answer Page 9