by Rye Brewer
“How do you even know they were shifters?” I asked.
Both he and Jonah gave me a look that said I must’ve been crazy. And I understood why. We could smell shifters.
It was something about their blood or something on their skin. Whatever it was, we sniffed it out easily.
“I followed some of them.”
“Followed them?” Jonah looked like he was ready to explode.
Gage winced but didn’t back down. “Hey, I had to do something. I couldn’t let them get away without finding out something about them.”
Jonah sighed. “What did you find out, then? Tell me it was worth you putting yourself in danger.”
“For one thing, they can shift at will.”
I looked at Jonah, whose eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really?”
“Really. They’re not like the ones we’re used to, the ones who can’t control it when the moon is full. The moon doesn’t even have to be full for these guys to do their thing.”
I was speechless. I had never seen anything like that before, or even heard of it. There was always something new to discover. I was tired of making discoveries.
I looked at Jonah, who didn’t seem as surprised as I was. Concerned, more like.
“I’ve heard of shifters who can do that, but they live in Europe.”
Europe? Meanwhile, Raze was concerned about the Europeans who might have contaminated the blood. Was there a connection?
I glanced at Jonah to see if he was on the same page, but his face was blank. I guessed he was used to concealing his thoughts.
“Okay,” he said after a lot of thought, “I’ll look into it. Thanks for the heads up.”
Gage gaped. “That’s it?”
“What?”
“You’re just going to look into it? That’s all? I mean, I think this could be dangerous. We should at least find out why they’re here.”
“Which is why I said I would look into it,” Jonah said through clenched teeth. “There are more pressing issues I’m dealing with right now, Gage.”
Gage’s expression shifted from anger to interest. “Is it Fane? Or Mom?”
“No.”
“What is it, then?” he pressed.
“Don’t worry about it right now, all right? I’ll catch you up later, once I have things under control.”
“I can’t believe you!” Gage exploded.
I took a step back and suddenly wished I wasn’t there to witness them tearing into each other.
“What now?” Jonah asked. His anger was just as strong as Gage’s.
I took another step away from them.
“When are you ever going to trust me, huh? What do I have to do to get you to be straight with me for once? Don’t you think I’ve earned a little bit of trust after all this?”
I winced as Gage’s voice cut through the air and pierced my ears.
I expected Jonah to shout something back—he was close to the end of his rope, so it wouldn’t take much to make him lose it. Instead, his body language changed. He relaxed. “You’re right.”
It was my turn to tense up.
He couldn’t tell Gage. He couldn’t tell anybody.
What was he thinking?
“There’s a problem with blood we have in storage—a potential problem,” he quickly added. “It might have been contaminated. So you see, I have my own issues to take care of.”
And he didn’t mention Sara. What a relief.
Gage frowned. “I shouldn’t have blown up like that. I didn’t know. But you’ve gotta trust me a little more, man.”
“I know. I’m just a little preoccupied. I have to find out who contaminated our batch and how we’ll move forward from here. Was it an inside job? Or did somebody from outside find a way to do it? Was it a deliberate move against us?”
“I get it—and I want to help,” Gage said.
“Just keep an eye on the shifter situation for me, and keep me informed. When I have more of this figured out, we’ll touch base.”
“Fair enough.” Gage shot me one more look before turning and going back down the stairs.
I waited until the door was closed before I turned to Jonah.
“Thank you for not giving Sara up,” I said.
“Do you think I would ever do something like that to you?” he asked. “Do you have any faith in me at all?”
“Of course, I have faith in you.” I just wasn’t sure if he thought I was worth going out of his way for anymore.
He said he loved me, and I believed him, but that didn’t mean he would forgive easily. I had hurt him, after all.
“So, what are you doing to do next?” he asked. “Are you going to wherever Sara is?”
I shook my head—and the sensation of tears prickling behind my eyes surprised me. I willed them away before they could spill over onto my cheeks. I didn’t know where I was supposed to go or how I would get there, what with Allonic helping Philippa.
He was the only one who could take me to Sara and Mom, but I had to give him up so Philippa would keep her mouth shut.
I cleared my throat and pushed back the urge to cry. “I’m sort of low on options right now. I guess if I need to go somewhere, I can always go to Avellane. I don’t think my father would mind giving me someplace to stay while I figure things out.”
“Avellane?” he frowned.
“What’s wrong with that? I sort of belong there, don’t I?” But I sort of didn’t, too. Just like I sort of did but sort of didn’t belong with vampires.
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong. I was only wondering why you have to go so far away. I wouldn’t be able to contact you if I needed you for something.”
“What would you need me for?”
His lips curled up in a half-smile. “I can think of a few things. Listen. Why don’t you stay here? I mean, you have a pretty large stake in the outcome of this whole blood contamination thing. Don’t you want to know how it turns out? You could help, too.”
It was tempting, but… “What about the others? Won’t they think it’s sort of weird, me being here? Gage sure thought it was weird. What about Scott and Philippa?”
“Only they know we… broke up,” he said. The muscles in his jaw jumped when he clenched it. “And they know my feelings for you haven’t changed, so I think it’ll be okay.”
My eyes started stinging again, and my chest went tight. I gritted my teeth and fought it back again. “Thank you.”
He nodded, then looked around.
I wondered if he was really looking around or just trying to avoid looking at me.
“Where’s Philippa?” he asked.
Your stupid freaking sister hijacked my brother, and now I can’t get to my sister because of her.
I decided against telling him that. Instead, I pointed to the other side of the roof, where she had told Allonic to wait for her.
They were gone.
15
Philippa
As soon as Jonah was on his way to where Anissa waited, I went to Allonic.
He was standing right where I asked him to wait. At least somebody knew how to follow directions in that family.
“Sorrowswatch, please,” I said as soon as I reached him.
His freaky eyes went wide. “You don’t waste time.”
“There’s no time to waste.”
He looked over my shoulder to where Jonah and Anissa were standing together.
I waved my hand in front of his face. “Hello? I’m serious. We’re in a hurry.”
He sighed—but he took off his dark gray cloak and wrapped me in it.
I didn’t ask questions as he led me forward through the portal.
A moment later, there was no more wind around me. There was nothing but cold, stony silence.
Sorrowswatch.
I took off the cloak and handed it back to him, then wished I had worn better walking shoes. I was in such a hurry back at the penthouse, I hadn’t thought about all the walking we were about to do. I slid out of my san
dals and decided to barefoot it.
The floor was worn smooth, anyway.
We started walking together, and I noticed how Allonic didn’t question anything we were doing.
“You’re pretty easygoing, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?” He looked down at me with a quizzical expression.
“You sort of go with the flow. You don’t put up a fight, you don’t ask a lot of questions. You know so many things, too. How do you know so much?”
“It’s my job. It’s what I do. I’m a Custodian.”
I waited for further explanation. When I got none, I asked, “What does that mean?”
“Custodians are the memory keepers. We’re in charge of all the scrolls and books and other ancient documents which tell the story of… well, of the history of the world. Especially our world, the world beyond what others believe is the limit.”
I took that in. “Did you get to decide who you wanted to be?”
“Not exactly,” he said with what I guessed passed for a chuckle for him. “Then again, I suppose you didn’t get the choice of who you wanted to be. You were born into your clan, into a certain position within the clan. And that was that.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Yes. I guess you’re right.”
“It’s all about duty,” he said. “And whether or not we decide to follow through with what we know we have to do.”
“Was there ever a time when you didn’t think you would follow through?”
“There was a time when I didn’t think I would be allowed to,” he said in a low voice. “There are still some who don’t believe I should be allowed to take on the duties of a shade.”
“Because you’re part vampire.”
“Correct.” He looked down at me again with a half-smile. “I used to envy vampires like you. The ones who knew where they belonged. Who were accepted as they were.”
I snorted. “Sorry. I don’t mean to laugh at you. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. But that hasn’t been the case for me at all. I guess the grass is always greener, you know?”
“That hasn’t been the case?”
I shook my head and focused on watching my step. “Not hardly. I’m a girl in a family full of boys. They were the ones who were supposed to be in charge. So I was never expected to be anything or do anything but…”
“But?”
I blushed. “But be pretty.” I heard myself as I was about to say that and felt full of myself at the last second.
“You do a nice job of being pretty,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“That was all they wanted you to do? Be ornamental?”
“You said it so much nicer than I did,” I smiled in spite of myself.
“You’re very smart,” he offered. “I’ve noticed that already.”
“I always knew I was smarter than I was supposed to be, but it never got me anywhere. I mean, I could joke with my father—he always liked a good verbal spar, you know? It was one of the only times I felt as though we spent quality time together. Otherwise, I was supposed to go shopping or go out with friends or go dancing. Maybe Dad wanted me to marry the right person one day. We never exactly discussed it. Although I thought Dad liked when I was dating Vance.”
My heart hurt when I said his name.
“He wanted his daughter to be involved with someone in a position of power.”
“Although now I understand that he might have wished it were anyone but Lucian’s son,” I mused. “I never knew it at the time, of course. I figured he wouldn’t like anybody who dared date his little girl. Fathers can be that way.”
“I wouldn’t know.”
I turned my face away and winced at the sound of emotion in his voice. “I didn’t mean to be clumsy like that.”
“No one ever does. I understand. It’s all right.”
He was so mellow and understanding. I wondered how much it would take to make his calm façade break down. “You’re a lot nicer than your sister,” I muttered.
He let out a sharp laugh. “Anissa? I observed tension between you two.”
“I guess it was pretty obvious.”
“It was.”
“Well, we don’t get along. That’s the long and short of it.”
“Have you ever wondered why? Anissa isn’t a bad person. A bit impetuous, maybe.”
“She thinks I’m worthless and I think she’s pushy and always getting my brother into trouble he doesn’t need to be in.”
“I don’t think she thinks you’re worthless. I can’t see how she would.”
“Like I said, you’re nicer than she is.”
We fell into an easy silence for the rest of our long, long walk.
I was comfortable with him. That was unusual. He was the only shade I ever knew, but I wasn’t nervous. Even though we were walking into something I was unsure of, I wasn’t afraid.
“We’re getting close,” he said after what felt like miles.
“Do you think he’ll be there?” I whispered.
“Do you?”
I shook my head, though I didn’t want to. “I doubt it. Whatever Valerius wants to do, it’s not down here. He has an agenda.”
“I agree. He isn’t one to waste time.”
Still, we kept walking in the direction of the chamber. The fact was, I didn’t know why I was going back to where Valerius took over Vance’s body. Revisiting the scene of the crime, maybe. Wondering if there was anything I had missed, something I could use to find Vance. Or Nivia.
We reached the inner chamber, where the two of them had been waiting for us—Nivia in her sarcophagus, Valerius in his roots.
The roots were still there, though they had been torn apart to free Valerius. The sarcophagus stood open.
I ran my fingers over the glass and wondered how old it was. How long had it sat there? How long was my mother’s body inside it?
I would never forget the way she looked in there—and how she sounded when she stepped out. What she said. How different she was, even though she looked the same. It was cruel, seeing her like that when she wasn’t Mom anymore.
“I wonder…” I didn’t mean to whisper it out loud. My voice echoed in the chamber.
“Wonder what?” Allonic waited by the doorway.
I didn’t know if he was standing guard or just trying to be respectful.
“I wonder if she’s still in her body.”
The way Vance was sort of in there, even when Valerius was. Did she really die? Or is she alive in there somewhere?” And did she know about Dad and Sirene? And the baby? I couldn’t imagine the torture of being locked in a prison with no way to speak, no way to reach out, and no control over my body. If she knew Dad found somebody else—and a witch, on top of that—it would break her heart. But there would be no way for her to say anything or even talk to Dad about it. No. Fane. I couldn’t keep it all straight in my head.
Maybe it would be better if she wasn’t in her body. She wouldn’t have to suffer. Even so, I wanted her back. I wanted to hope she was in there, that I would see the real her again someday. Just like I would see the real Vance.
Even though it meant she would have to deal with the pain of knowing she had been replaced, part of me wanted her back. I knew it made me selfish, but I couldn’t help it.
“Nivia was a shade at first. Right? Before she was turned?”
“Yes.”
“Did you know her?” I turned to him.
His eyes widened before he laughed. “How old do you think I am? I’m even younger than Sara. Nivia was born several millennia ago.”
“Oh. Of course.” I could’ve melted into the floor, I was so embarrassed. I wasn’t thinking clearly. “Do you know anything about her, though?”
For the first time, he seemed reluctant to share. “Nivia is a complicated subject for shades. What she did… it was forbidden, of course. So they struck her from our memories.”
I gasped. “They erased her?”
“In effect, yes. It was as if she neve
r existed. I guarantee if you were to speak her name among a group of shades, they would act as though they never heard it before. Because, as far as they know, they haven’t.”
I didn’t know how that was possible, but there were so many things I didn’t understand. “Wait—you know who she is. How do you know when they don’t?”
Again, he hesitated before he answered. “Custodians study under other, older Custodians when they’re young. It so happened that I studied under one who didn’t believe in withholding information because of petty politics. He was a purist. Even a bit of a rebel. He taught me everything he knew.”
“Wasn’t that dangerous?” I had the feeling shades were very serious—at least, they were if Allonic was an example.
And they had erased an entire existence because she went against their rules. Not exactly a fun bunch.
“Yes. It was dangerous. They executed him for his transgressions.”
I gasped—not just at what he said, but how he said it. Like he was only reporting a bit of news. Nothing more. Then again, he had plenty of time to get used to it.
I turned back to the sarcophagus and thought about Nivia and what it took for her to do what she did.
Of course, I hated her for taking over Mom’s body, but I felt sorry for her. Just a little. She loved Valerius so much, she was willing to stop at nothing for him.
I touched the glass again and sighed. “They really have a love story, those two. Don’t they?”
“Love is for fools.”
I looked at him, surprised, and he was smiling smugly.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do. Did we come all this way so you could quiz me? Or perhaps you wanted to have a tender, sentimental moment in which we talked about love.”
“I’ll thank you to drop your attitude,” I snarled.
So he was like his sister, after all. I should’ve known.
“Well? Why are we here? You haven’t done anything yet to show me why I had to bring you here.”
“I came here because I wanted answers!”
“What answers? What questions?”
I threw my arms in the air. “What do you think? I want to know where they went—Nivia and Valerius. I want to know where I can find them!”