by T. S. Joyce
“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, then drew her hand against the hard seam of his pants.
She rubbed the length of him and a deep, helpless noise wrenched from his throat. She’d never been with a man like him, and for as powerful as he was, he was still allowing her to affect him—to see his vulnerable side.
The snap of his button was loud in the quiet of the forest, and a delicious smile stretched his lips as she unsheathed him and pulled a long stroke of his shaft.
“I should really be taking better care of you,” he rumbled. “I hurt you.”
“You can make it up to me,” she said, teasing.
The humor left his face as he searched her eyes, then dropped to his knees.
“What are you doing?” she asked, panic seeping into her veins.
“Will you let me take care of you?”
She shook her head, baffled. “What do you mean?”
His steady fingers found the button of her jeans, and the slow rip of her zipper filled the night air. “Let me taste you.”
In ready denial, she shook her head. “I haven’t done that before.”
The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Good.”
“I thought…” Oh, now she just felt stupid. “I thought we would be able to finish together.”
He hooked his fingers on the waist of her jeans and slowly pulled them down. “Is that what you want, princess?”
For as much as her instincts balked against the thought of his mouth between her legs, her traitorous body rocked toward him as he grazed his teeth against her bare thigh. “Yes.”
“Good.” Knees spread on the earth beneath them, he took himself in hand and pulled against the length of his erection, then brushed his lips against her sex. His tongue flicked out and touched her clit. Holy shit, this was not how she’d imagined being kissed down there felt like. His tongue pressed inside of her as he gripped her ass like she wasn’t nearly close enough. And when he withdrew, he sucked gently on her sensitive spot again. Her hips bucked, and her knees locked, and the rumble of his chuckle against her slick folds was enough that she leaned helplessly back against the tree and hoped her legs didn’t give out.
She really would’ve been more embarrassed about standing vulnerable in the woods with Jesse’s face between her legs if he didn’t seem to be enjoying himself so much. The man’s arm jerked with the movement of stroking himself, his muscles tense and a soft growl in his throat. He plunged his tongue into her, over and over. The pressure was building so fast, she gripped his hair and rolled her eyes heavenward. “Jesse,” she cried, on the verge of shattering from the inside out.
He stood so fast, he blurred, then slid his cock into her until the base pressed her clit. She fell apart as he filled her. Clawing his back, she rocked until she was throbbing around him. Jesse seemed content just to feel her orgasm, and didn’t start moving within her until it was nearly through.
Face buried against her neck, he rolled his powerful hips against hers, and the tingling pressure in her middle began to build again. It couldn’t happen like this, right? Two back-to-back orgasms hadn’t been in the realm of possibilities, and now Jesse was drawing them from her like some orgasm ninja, and oh! He pressed deeper into her, stretching her with his thickness. She was going to fall apart all over again.
He sucked gently on the sensitive spot right under her ear, and she hugged his neck closer. Running her hands down his back, she could feel the flex of his muscles with every powerful thrust. His pace became faster, more insistent, and she matched every stroke.
Jesse gripped her ass and pushed into her, over and over. A feral-sounding growl ripped from him as she tipped over the edge and screamed out. He slammed into her one last time and froze as hot jets shot into her, pulsing to match her own completion. She clawed his back, delirious with how good he felt inside of her, and closed her eyes against a blinding sensation she’d never felt before. Pain and pleasure churned inside of her until she gasped and leaned her head back against the tree bark.
“What was that?” she asked, shocked to her core.
Jesse watched her with wide eyes, like he didn’t know how they’d ended up against the tree in the first place. His body tensed with an aftershock and warmth filled her again.
“Oh, shit,” he murmured.
Chapter Five
Oh, shit? That was his reaction to what they’d just done together?
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Jesse said, sliding out of her and pulling away.
“What are you saying?” White hot embarrassment blasted through her veins. “You regret it?”
“No. Yes. Fuck! We have to go.” Panic filled every facet of his face, and now he was fumbling to pull up his pants.
“What did I do wrong?” she asked as he spun and bolted in the direction of the car.
She stood against the tree with her hands out. Despair demolished any pride she had left, and her shoulders sagged. Tears burned her eyes, and this time, she didn’t hold them back. Damn him. He could’ve at least hugged her afterward. He’d just given her the single most satisfying sexual experience of her life, then ran away.
She’d been so stupid for thinking he was different.
She dressed as tears blurred her vision, then searched the ground for the hat that had come off her head at some point in their love-making. No, scratch that. Jesse hadn’t been making love to her. He’d been fucking her.
Shame heated her cheeks as she dusted off the hat and pulled it over her head. Biting her bottom lip hard as punishment for shedding tears over that asshole, she made her way slowly back toward the car. She stumbled over a dried tree branch, and when she righted herself, she was turned around. She looked for anything familiar, but there was no trail, and she wasn’t wilderness savvy enough to remember specific markers. She considered calling for Jesse, but the last wisp of pride she possessed stopped her from uttering his name. An engine started up in the distance, and she followed the sound to the clearing where Jesse’s truck sat with the headlights pointed at the river.
With as much dignity as she could muster, she climbed into the passenger seat. “You can’t get me pregnant, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I know,” he gritted out.
Oh, he knew. Made perfect fucking sense. She hadn’t told anyone about her inability to have children since Matt, but Jesse knew. More werebear magical senses or whatever, but he didn’t have to say it so flippantly like that. Her failure gutted her daily, but Jesse could apparently be an insensitive prick about it because it didn’t affect him.
“Fuck you, Jesse,” she said in a shaking voice. Crossing her arms over her chest like a shield, she leaned against the cold window pane and let silent tears slip down her cheeks.
Jesse didn’t take her back to the camp like she’d thought he would. Instead, he took her down to the base of the mountain to a tiny town that sat in a valley. The green city sign read, Welcome to Joseph, Oregon.
He took a dirt road on the edge of town and stopped in front of a small home nestled in the woods. The trip here had been silent, but not the comfortable kind. It had been a quiet that held weight and made the air she breathed feel too thick.
Jesse cut the engine and hopped out, then jogged around the front of his truck to her side.
“My friend Logan lives here,” he explained. “His mate is a healer. She’ll know how to fix your arm.” After helping her out of the truck, he yanked his hand away from her like she had branding irons for fingers, then strode toward the front door like he couldn’t escape her fast enough.
Three soft knocks at the door, and a handsome, dark-headed man with dark eyes answered. “Thanks for not ringing the doorbell this time.” He greeted Jesse with a smile. “Abigail is already asleep for the night.”
“Yeah, I learned my lesson the first time. Can we come in?”
A frown shadowed Logan’s features and he nodded, then stepped aside.
“This is Rae. She’s human, but knows about us. I h
urt her…” Jesse swallowed and looked ill. “I clawed her when I had to change near her tonight and…” Jesse ran his hands roughly through his hair. “Can Muriel fix her?”
“Yeah, man.” Logan was looking at Jesse like he’d lost his mind, but shifted his gaze to Rae Lynn and gave her a kind smile. With a twitch of his head, he said, “I’ll go get my mate. She’s out back in the workshop.”
“I’ll get her,” Jesse said, then escaped the entryway and shut the door behind him.
Logan stared at the door he’d just disappeared out of and swung a questioning gaze to Rae. “Does it hurt bad?” He nodded toward the four perfect slashes across her forearm.
She shrugged miserably. “It’s not so bad.”
He studied her puffy eyes and red cheeks, but was apparently polite enough not to say anything about her being a crybaby. Instead, he asked, “You want some tea? I already have the water on to boil.”
“That would be great, thanks.”
He led her into a small kitchen, and she sat down at a table in front of the stove. “Breshia brought Samuel by earlier this evening.”
A weight lifted, and Rae rested her elbows onto the smooth wood of the table. “Good. I’m glad she has him. She’s who Shay wanted to raise him. I’m supposed to oversee some kind of adoption arrangement, but Shay left before we could work on anything. Is Breshia going to take care of him?”
“She doesn’t know yet. She and her mate, Dillon, are newly mated and were planning on trying for a child of their own during her next heat cycle.”
“Heat cycle?”
“She’s a lion shifter, like me.”
Rae clenched her hands together under the table and fought the urge to jump out of the chair and back slowly out of the house. “Jesse said you don’t keep your minds when you shift like bears do.”
Logan pulled tea bags from a tin can and, from here, she could see him smile. “Some of us have less control than others. Breshia keeps her head completely, but she’s told me stories about Shay. I’m assuming she’s the reason your heartbeat is racing right now.”
Right. The whole shifters-can-apparently-hear-everything-in-the-whole-wide-world bit was becoming seriously tedious. “She tried to kill me the second she changed.”
Logan turned and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed. “That sounds like a typical lioness.”
“Is your wife one, too?”
“No, she’s a black bear, like Jesse.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Your mate is a bear, and you’re a lion?”
He grinned. “Yep.”
“Is Breshia’s mate a lion?”
He shook his head. “Grizzly.”
“So bears can mix with other…non-bears?” Not that it mattered, because Jesse obviously didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Her heart sank farther. His rejection wasn’t even because she was human.
“It isn’t encouraged because bears are dying out. There are less than a hundred of them left, but an exception was made for lions.”
“Why?”
His look darkened, and he cast his eyes back to the stove. “Because there are only a few of us left.”
“So, human-shifter relationships are a no?”
“My alpha, Bron, has a mate who used to be human. She turned so she could be with him, though.”
Rae nodded slowly. It didn’t matter anyway then. Jesse panicking at their intimacy didn’t matter, because whatever she’d been allowing her heart to feel was wrong and not allowed. Maybe that was why he was pushing her away now.
“Logan?” Jesse asked from the doorway. “Can I talk to you outside?” His voice was grim, and his eyes had lost their spark from earlier. He refused to look at Rae, and her heart broke a little more. He couldn’t even bear the sight of her now.
A striking, dark-headed woman sidled Jesse’s tall frame and approached Rae with a kind smile. She lifted her injured arm under the light and made a clicking sound behind her teeth. “You got her good, Jesse.”
“Yeah,” he said somberly. “I did.”
He turned and left the house. Logan set two porcelain cups of tea on the table before he followed him out.
“I’m Muriel,” the woman said. “Jesse told me what happened.”
“I’m Rae Lynn. People call me Rae, though. And what all did he tell you?”
“He told me about the claw marks.” Muriel turned a knowing, steady gaze on her and lowered her voice when she said, “But not about the part where you smell claimed by him.”
Rae wanted to curl up in a little ball. Did shifters just know every damned thing about every damned person? They could smell if someone had sex, too? Freaking great. Another first impression nailed.
Burning heat flooded up her neck and landed in her cheeks. She couldn’t look Muriel in the eyes anymore as she took her first sip of tea.
Muriel chuckled softly. “Rae, you know sex isn’t anything to be ashamed of, right?”
“I do.” Rae tilted her head toward the door. “Jesse’s the one who’s ashamed.”
****
“Why was Rae crying?” Logan asked as soon as they hit the edge of the yard.
Her soft sobbing in the truck had gutted Jesse and done something awful to his bear. All he wanted to do right now was change back and escape the tidal wave of human emotion threatening to drown him. “Because I did something stupid.”
“You’ll have to be more specific than that. I can name fourteen stupid things you’ve done off the top of my head.”
Gritting his teeth, Jesse picked up a rock and chucked it as hard as he could into the woods. “I bonded with her, Logan. I knew she was important, that what I felt about her was different, and I slept with her anyway. And what’s worse? I didn’t even tell her what the risk was. She doesn’t even understand.”
“Oooh, shit.” Logan stared back at the house with an utterly shocked expression. “Are you sure it was a bond? Like, you felt it?”
“Yeah, I felt it. It nearly blinded me, and from her reaction, she felt it, too.”
A slow grin took Logan’s mouth, and he shook Jesse’s shoulder slowly. “You bonded, man. What the hell are you doing out here with me. You should be celebrating with your mate.”
“She’s not my mate!” Anger over the unfairness of it all settled over him. “She’s not a bear, Logan. She’s not a shifter at all. She’s a human woman I met today who’ll be gone as soon as Ethan says she can leave. I’ve just bonded to a woman I don’t have a shot in hell at keeping.”
“Jesse, is this about Miranda? Because her leaving doesn’t mean every woman will do the same. You’ve lived a half-life for too long because of what she did to you, but this is your shot to move on.”
“It’s not about Miranda.” Jesse twitched his head in agitation. “It’s not only about Miranda. I haven’t even told Rae about Jonathan.”
Logan’s eyebrows winged up. “You haven’t told the woman you bonded with you have a son?”
“Of course I didn’t! She’s a huge risk to our people. Of course I didn’t put my cub in front of her. I’ve known her for a day, Logan. How can I trust someone after so short a time?”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. It’s not the same for shifters. Nothing is the same. If your bear chose her, she’s trustworthy. She came here for a reason, man. This is your shot at moving on from the shit Miranda pulled, and you’re blowing it. You know what Rae was asking about in there? If bears could be with humans. She’s already thinking of you like that, Jesse. Please tell me she wasn’t crying because you were a dick after sleeping with her. Because if so, and she leaves, that’s on you. It’ll be your own damned fault for pushing her away. Jesse,” Logan gritted out, shaking his head. His dark eyes were solemn and serious. “You can’t screw this up. A bond isn’t just something that’ll go away with time. Trust me. She’s it. It’s up to you to make it work—to make her feel safe here and like she could have a life in Hells Canyon. It doesn’t matter to the bond if she’s human. You’ll pine forever if y
ou let her go.”
“I’ve known her one day,” Jesse reminded him.
Logan threw his hands in the air. “Screw one day. That’s how the bond works. It’s not magic. It’s science. It’s chemistry. If you’re lucky enough to have one, it’s almost instant. You knew immediately that she was it. On some level, you knew Rae was your mate. So you allowed the bond. It’s not a crime to give your animal a mate, Jesse. This isn’t some awful thing that happened to you. You’re lucky. Most bears go their whole lives without bonding. They just pick a mate and make it work. Your animal chose her. You chose her. Fix this.”
Jesse shook his head in ready denial. Jonathan’s smiling face flashed across his mind. Logan hadn’t been around when Miranda had been working him over. Jonathan almost never smiled when he was a baby, and that was on Jesse and the woman he chose to have a baby with. When they split, it wasn’t some mature, mutual decision for the betterment of their family unit. It was for the betterment of the whole damned clan. They’d been like two titans fighting for territory, and Jonathan had been there to see it all.
Jesse had fought to make it work while Miranda had fought because she hated him. Hated him for getting her pregnant with a child she didn’t feel a bond with and hated him for tethering her to Hells Canyon. She’d shredded everything decent about him on her way out of this place, and now he was finally feeling like he could breathe again.
Now, Rae had came barreling into his life, and she had the power to destroy him all over again. He didn’t want to go back to the shell of a man he’d been after Miranda left. He just couldn’t go through that again.
Thank God, Jonathan was with his mother right now because he sure as hell didn’t need to see his father brought to his knees when Rae left. It was already going to hurt badly. Every second he spent with the woman, he liked her more—wanted her more. He imagined his life with her—sharing his home, introducing her to his son, bearing his soul to someone late at night when his inner demons reared their ugly heads.
Pain ripped through him, and he crouched and ran his hands through his hair. Linking his fingers behind his head, he admitted, “I don’t know what to do here. I feel lost.”