by Morgan James
Even if she was interested in a fling, I wasn’t sure I was. My cousins and siblings had all settled down already, and most had kids of their own. Thirty had already come and gone two years ago, and for some reason, I figured I’d have a family of my own already. Though I’d enjoyed my youth, I felt time pressing in on me. I was only getting older. Rationally, I knew that a lot of men—and women, these days—were waiting longer and longer to settle down. But each day that slipped past made me acutely aware that I was still all alone and would stay that way until I did something about it.
I’d enjoyed women’s company before, though mostly in the bedroom. It’d been a long time since I’d really talked with one. Jana and I had done nothing but talk for the past two days. Somehow she’d managed to get me to sing—which I’d never done in front of another person with the exception of my mother. My brothers had made fun of me growing up and though I knew it was good-natured sibling rivalry, I’d never attempted to sing in public. It was strange how comfortable with Jana I was. Without even realizing it, she’d managed to get me to open up.
She’d reciprocated, beginning to tell me stories here and there, little anecdotes about her life in the music industry. Any time I broached the topic of her life before she moved to Dallas, she shut down. I wanted to reassure her the way she’d reassured me, coax her into opening up and confiding in me.
All that aside, it didn’t matter what I wanted. There was no way she would ever want me the way I wanted her. She was basically a celebrity, even if it was only in the world of country music. She had thousands of fans who adored her, evidenced by the man who’d become obsessed with her. There were hundreds of men she worked with who would be a better match to her than I ever would.
I shook my head. Jesus. When the hell had I gone soft? I was practically trying to find a way to fit myself into her life, and she barely even knew I existed as a man. She saw me as her bodyguard—nothing more. Or, if she did, she’d never let on. Ever since I could remember, she’d been standoffish around me. I could only assume that meant she wasn’t attracted to me. No, she was making an effort to get along until the police caught her stalker. Then she could go home, back to her glamorous life where we would part ways. Forever.
I wasn’t sure why I hated the thought of that so much. Probably because I’d never been one to let things unfold by themselves. Anytime I wanted something, I went after it. Her, though... I couldn’t do that. She was astronomically out of my league, not to mention any decisions I made with her could potentially affect my job. I hated to walk away without knowing if there was anything between us, but it was better this way.
Jana shut the door then slouched against the counter, staring woefully out the window. “I’m so tired of the same thing. There are only so many ways you can cook chicken before it all begins to taste the same.”
“What do you want?” I asked.
Her gaze slid back to me, and I swore I could see a flicker of something in the bright blue depths. It never ceased to amaze me how blue her eyes were. Mine were blue, too, but I’d always thought of them as plain. Kind of gray, icy, cool. But hers... I’d never seen a more vivid blue before. Cerulean like the sky on the brightest day, they drew me in, tugged at my heart.
Finally, she gave a little sigh. “Honestly, I’m really craving a steak.”
I lifted one shoulder. “So call it in.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “You’ll grill up a steak for me?”
“Sure. Why not?” Did she think I couldn’t or wouldn’t?
The corners of her mouth tipped down in a frown. “I appreciate it, but Harvey would kill me.”
“That asshole’s not here,” I reminded her. “Besides, I don’t know why you’re so caught up in what he thinks.”
“Um... Because he pays my bills?”
She looked at me like I was dumb, and I rolled my eyes. “That shouldn’t extend to determining your diet. If you were unhealthy, I could understand, but you’re perfect just the way you are.”
Her gaze dropped to her toes, but not before I watched a soft pink sweep up her neck and into her cheeks. I fucking loved when she blushed. It made me want to pull her close, kiss her pretty, full mouth, rosy cheeks, then lower, over her neck and chest until I’d finally exposed those gorgeous breasts of hers.
Damn. I wished I knew what she was thinking. Was she merely flirting, or was there more to her reaction? It wasn’t the first time something I’d said had elicited that type of reaction, and I lived for those rare moments when I caught her open and unguarded. Part of me wanted to ask, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the answer. People fawned over her all the time. She got compliments from everyone, and I was certain my words sounded no different. But those looks... I wanted those to be for me and me alone. I wanted to be the only person to bring a blush to her cheeks.
Still, I said nothing. If she didn’t feel the same, I didn’t want to look like an asshole. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d made a fool of myself, but this was an entirely different scenario. She was already under stress, and I didn’t want to add to that. I liked the way things had become between us, and I wouldn’t jeopardize it for the world. I didn’t want to go back to the stilted, awkward conversations of weeks past.
Her words tore me from my introspection. “I’ll let you pick tonight. Whatever you want is fine with me.”
That was a lie if I’d ever heard one.
Without another word, she turned and wandered into the living room. I watched, eyes narrowed, as she sank into the corner of the couch. The blush from earlier had disappeared, replaced by what I thought was disappointment. She stared out the glass doors that led to the patio, and I studied her features. She wasn’t pouting, but she did look sad, and I’d have to be an idiot not to realize why.
Jana was like a bundle of energy, always vibrating with barely-restrained motion. I knew how hard it was for her to be still, especially in a beautiful place like this. For the past week I’d kept her cooped up according to orders. What I’d told her the other night was true—I would put her safety first, whether she liked it or not. But tomorrow would make a week that we’d been here, and when I’d spoken with Con earlier, he told me there was no indication of anyone learning our whereabouts.
Although I didn’t use them much, I did have a couple different social media accounts, so I hopped on to check out the progress online. Jana had told us she’d planned to do a blast of posts that culminated in our engagement photo and subsequent elopement. Con had dropped us at the Dallas-Fort Worth airport, and he’d taken a picture of us—from the back so my face wouldn’t be plastered all over the internet—walking into the airport on our way to our honeymoon destination.
I flipped through various photos now. Pictures of high heeled silver shoes, a sparkly necklace and earrings, and a close up of white satin, which I guessed was supposed to be her dress. By the time I reached that photo, even I could have guessed what she was hinting at. It was the next photo, though, that suspended the breath in my chest.
Abby had somehow managed to manipulate the photo she’d taken in Jana’s living room and turn it into a masterpiece. In the doctored photo, I knelt next to a Christmas tree whose tiny white lights glowed cheerfully, reflecting off dozens of red bulbs and bows. My attention was drawn to Jana’s expression. Her hand partially covered her mouth, but her eyes... They sparkled with pure joy, so much so that it sent a chill through me. Had she actually looked like that, or was this some special effect Abby had added? I tried to draw back on the moment, but I couldn’t remember, damn it. I’d been a little off-kilter myself, just moments away from marrying a woman I’d only met two weeks earlier.
I ripped my attention away from Jana’s face and scrolled down. People were speculating on our marriage, and the comments ranged from glowing congratulations to downright crass and degrading. People could be such assholes sometimes.
Jana had been a trooper so far, with the exception of our little hiccup a few nights ago. A gilded cage was
still a cage, and I knew it was wearing on her. With each day that passed, she smiled less and less and seemed more on edge. Since everything appeared to be safe and quiet, I figured she was due for a night out. I strode toward the couch, stopping only a few feet away.
“Do you want to get out of the house?”
Her gaze slid away from the window to meet mine, and she blinked once, long and slow. I could practically see the wheels turning, wondering if it was a trick question.
The corner of my mouth kicked up in a smirk when she didn’t answer. “You would be a terrible poker player, you know.”
She rolled her eyes. “I mean, I’m not going to argue if you want to get out of the house. What do you have in mind? A walk down to the pier?”
I shook my head. “Let’s go to dinner.”
She stared at me for a long moment. “But...”
I flicked one hand in the air, effectively stopping her. “We’ll wait until dusk, after the dinner rush is over.”
“Really?” She regarded me suspiciously as she sat up straight. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I think it’ll be good for both of us.”
In a blur of motion, she was already on her feet and halfway across the room. “I’ll go get ready!”
I chuckled as she bolted to the bathroom, slamming the door in her wake.
I knew she would be awhile, so I settled on the couch and flipped on the TV for some background noise, then pulled out my phone and scrolled through my emails.
When the water in the bathroom cut off, I made my way to the bedroom and grabbed a change of clothes. Jana entered moments later, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around her torso. The knowledge that she was completely bare underneath—at least, that’s how I imagined her—hit me like a punch to the gut. My mouth went dry, and I quickly averted my gaze as she swept into the room, headed straight for the closet.
“I’m hopping in the shower.”
“Okay.” Without sparing me a glance she sifted through the outfits hanging in a neat row, and I escaped to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. Holy fuck. I swear, every time I thought I had my feelings for her under control, my traitorous body had to go and prove me wrong. My dick ached, and I fisted it as I flipped on the water and stepped under the warm spray.
Visions of Jana filled my mind as I leaned one hand on the tile wall of the shower and stroked myself from root to tip. Warm water sluiced over me, easing the way for my hand as it moved up and down my shaft. I pictured myself loosening the knot of her towel, letting it drop to the floor and taking in every inch of her gorgeous body. She smelled so fucking sweet all the time, and I couldn’t help but wonder how she would taste. I wanted to kiss her from head to toe, sink so deep inside her I couldn’t tell where she ended and I began.
My muscles tensed as heat raced through me, and my balls grew heavy and full. I gritted my teeth as I pumped twice more then came on a silent groan. Feeling slightly more relieved than I had a few minutes before, I finished showering then dressed for dinner. Jana was still getting ready, so I headed back to the sofa. For the next forty-five minutes I zoned out to whatever show was on TV until I heard the soft creak of the bedroom door opening.
Jana swept down the hallway toward me, and the hard-on I thought I’d extinguished in the shower flared up again at the sight of her. Goddamn, she looked good enough to eat. Her long locks shined like gold, and her beautifully tanned skin glowed bronze against the bright yellow sundress that hit at mid-thigh, clinging to her breasts and hips. A giant pair of sunglasses once more covered half of her face, but they did absolutely nothing to hide her beautiful features.
I discreetly adjusted myself as I stood, forcing my gaze away from her as I busied myself turning off the TV and grabbing my phone and keys. “You ready?”
“Hell yes. Let’s get out of here.”
I chuckled at her enthusiasm. “I’ve never met anyone as impatient as you.”
“Not impatient, exactly.” She shrugged one shoulder as she made her way toward the front door, then waited for me to go first. “But when you have people breathing down your neck all the time, telling you what to do...”
I flicked a glance her way. Her tone sounded defeated, and something akin to sadness had dimmed her pretty blue eyes. “I know what you mean.”
I locked the door behind us, then we cut across the driveway and out to the road. I hiked a thumb toward the north end of the island. “I was thinking maybe we could check out that restaurant up this way. Maybe we’ll catch the tail end of the sunset if we eat out on the deck.”
She tipped her face up to me and grinned. “That sounds perfect.”
That smile of hers hit me like a sucker punch, stealing my breath and threatening to cut me down at the knees. It lit up her whole face, brightening everything around us. Even beneath those sunglasses, her eyes were so wide and so blue that I could drown in them. Like this, she made me feel like I was ten feet tall, the center of her whole world.
My gaze traveled the length of her, from the top of her head to the tips of her pink-painted toes. She was absolute perfection, everything I never knew I wanted. God, everything about this woman drove me absolutely crazy. Christ. Thoughts of Jana consumed every free moment, and she had me so tangled up in knots that I swore I was going to lose my fucking mind before this was over.
I sighed as we set off down the sidewalk. Looked like my hand was going to get a hell of a workout over the next few days.
Chapter Eighteen
Jana
I couldn’t help the little bubble of happiness surrounding me as we headed toward the restaurant. It was the first time Vince and I had truly been out of the house, and I was so excited I wanted to throw my arms wide and dance for joy. Over the past few days I’d learned to never take anything for granted, especially not being able to go out any time I chose.
A host greeted us as we climbed up the wide wooden steps. “Two tonight?”
“Yes, please.”
He tipped his head and grabbed two rolls of silverware. “Inside or out?”
I looked up at Vince. As if reading my mind, he nodded to the deck out back. “Outside.”
The host made a notation on his seating chart, then led us to a small table on the deck overlooking the ocean. “Gabi will be right with you.”
Vince grabbed a laminated menu from the condiment stand in the middle of the table, and I glanced toward the horizon, turned burnt orange from the setting sun. “This is beautiful.”
As soon as the words left my throat, a pretty, young waitress—Gabi, according to her nametag—appeared by our table. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Iced tea for me, please.”
She nodded at my request then turned to Vince. A tiny kernel of jealousy lodged in my throat as her eyes drifted over his wide shoulders and biceps that strained the sleeves of his dark polo. Completely unaware of her perusal, he ordered a Coke, then turned his attention back to the menu as the waitress reluctantly dragged her gaze away from Vince and drifted inside.
“What are you having?”
His eyes lifted to mine, and I forced a smile. “I haven’t looked yet.”
I’d been too busy watching the waitress check him out to even look at the menu. Unaware of the detour my thoughts had taken, Vince continued. “Get a steak if you want one.”
“Maybe.” I picked up a menu and began to scan the items, then let out a soft sigh as I gestured to the ocean lapping at the shore just a few hundred yards away. “As good as it sounds, I’m probably better off ordering seafood.”
“Probably.” Vince grinned. “I’ll take you to a steakhouse next time you’re craving a steak.”
Next time? My cheeks burned as I dropped my gaze back to the menu in my hands. The waitress came back to deliver our drinks, then took our orders. I decided on the shrimp and scallops while Vince ordered an entire platter of seafood, plus several sides.
I glanced at him, amazed, as the waitress moved into the restaurant. “I don’t
know where you put all that food.”
He leaned back in his chair and patted his flat—and very ripped—stomach. “I burn a lot of calories.”
I let out a very unladylike snort. “Must be nice to eat whatever you want and burn it all right back off.”
“Whatever,” he scoffed. “You need to stop listening to all those assholes. I’ve watched you pick at your food like you’re afraid to eat it because they’ve drilled it into your head that you’re somehow not good enough. That’s bullshit. There’s not a damn thing wrong with you. Don’t let those idiots make you feel bad, because you’re absolutely—” He cut off as if suddenly realizing he’d said too much. His gaze darted away, and he inhaled before finishing lamely, “You’re fine the way you are.”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but he snapped his mouth closed and picked up his phone, fiddling with the screen. I watched him for a moment, not missing the tense set to his shoulders, the slight tic in his jaw. A warm glow flared to life around my heart, and I felt the heat climb over my chest and up my neck, and into my cheeks. He thought I was perfect—he’d said as much earlier. I tried so hard to be confident, but I always seemed to fall short of the mark. People were always comparing me to someone else, and everyone had an opinion on how I should be. I’d heard it all—I was too fat, too thin, too pretty, too plain, too honest, too fake.
I’d be lying if I said Vince’s words didn’t affect me. Thank God I still wore my sunglasses so I could conceal my expression. Despite years of trying to harden myself, I still wore my heart on my sleeve, and my eyes were like an open book for anyone to read. It wasn’t the first time he’d seemed to look straight into my soul and known exactly how I felt.
For the next few minutes, we lapsed into silence. Vince avoided me completely as he immersed himself in something on his phone, and I stared out at the beach, lost in thought. I swore I’d seen something in his eyes earlier, heard something in his voice. I’d shelved all thoughts of exploring any possible attraction between us over the past few days, but now I wondered... Was it possible he felt the same way about me?