Repeat

by Scott, Kylie

  “Yes?”

  Oh, his laugh is so low, faintly evil, and full of erotic promise. My blood surges hot at the sound.

  And the potential for further kissing later on is more than sufficient to get me inside. As we walk down the apartment building hallway, a door opens up farther down. Our neighbor, Tim, sticks his head out, see’s it’s us, and then shuts the door. Though I could have sworn some leering/naked imagining was going on when his gaze swept over me. So gross. The man is a creeper. That’s a definite.

  Inside the condo, Gordon greets us with much sniffing, butt wiggling, and wagging of his tail. From one of the comfy chairs, Leif just smiles, his hair still wet from the shower. No wonder he didn’t hear our guests buzz.

  Honestly, I was a bit relieved when I realized Leif had just been in the shower. It shouldn’t have meant anything, him not answering the door. But courtesy of this morning’s shenanigans, my paranoia was on a hair trigger, and crazy scenarios shot through my mind the moment anything was out of place.

  Shannon sits on the big couch with Tessa and Nevin sprawled out beside her. In Tessa’s hands is her cell, thumbs busy on the screen. “I put in the days of yore regular order multiplied by two since Leif and Shannon are here. It shouldn’t be long. I’m starving.”

  “What’s the days of yore regular?” I ask.

  “She means the pizza order from back when you used to live here last time. One mushroom and bacon, and one chicken and basil.” In the kitchen, Ed takes the caps off four bottles of beer. Once they’re handed out, he grabs a seat, drawing me onto his lap. I think it’s a statement. It feels like a statement, one meant not only for his guests but to me also, the girl perched awkwardly on his knee. And sure enough, Tessa raises a brow at the move. Shannon just gives me a limp sort of smile, gaze shifting between me and Ed. Given how damning she was regarding mine and Ed’s previous attempt at coupledom, this must be bizarre for her. Perhaps she’s worried how much of her vaguely hostile and blathering point of view I’ve shared with her employer regarding his personal life. People have probably been fired for less. But like I even have the energy to stir such pointless shit.

  “Look at you, being all protective,” says Tessa. “I’ll behave if she does.”

  “Everyone’s going to behave.” Nevin clicks his fingers and Gordon runs over to him for some behind-the-ear scratches. “Even you, hey, boy? Police have anything more to say about what happened at your work, Clem?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “Vandals, disenchanted youth, whatever . . .”

  “Assholes,” mutters Leif.

  Shannon nods her head. “It’s horrible.”

  “At least they didn’t break the glass or damage any stock,” says Nevin.

  Tessa’s nails tap against her leg. “Still, bad luck is certainly following her around lately.”

  “Indeed it is and this is my point, beautiful. Clem is already hurting.” Just for a moment, Nevin’s gaze on me seems to go cold, dark, and cruel. It’s a little scary. But then suddenly he smiles and turns back to Tessa. As if it never even happened. “No reason for you not to forgive her.”

  “I already have Ed on at me at work,” she says. “I don’t need you lecturing me too.”

  “Okay. Just saying . . .”

  “She and I will work it out when and if I’m ever ready.”

  “Whatever you say, beautiful.”

  Shannon stares at Ed, lips shut tight. Around her boss, she apparently keeps her opinions to herself. A far cry from the time she tracked me down at the café near Frances’s place for a chat. Her top is cut low, showcasing a large tattooed chest piece of roses and ribbon. It flows above her breasts, along with dipping farther down out of sight.

  “That’s lovely,” I say. “Did Tessa do that piece for you?”

  Her smile remains hesitant. “Ah, no. Ed did it.”

  “Does that worry you, Ed regularly seeing other women’s bodies?” asks Tessa. Not malicious exactly, just curious.

  Behind me, I can feel Ed go still, listening with interest.

  I shrug. “Kind of part of the job isn’t it?”

  “Interesting,” says Tessa. “Because it used to bother you quite a bit.”

  Shannon says nothing. Lots of it.

  “We also get to see lots of hairy asses and other bits,” says Leif. “It is just part of the job, Clem. You’re right. The thrill gets old real fast.”

  I must have responded to the question appropriately since Tessa moves on to other things and Ed’s body sort of eases beneath me once more. And this is all beyond awkward, being put on trial in front of people I barely know. Most of the time, I can live with what’s happened. With what I do and don’t know and who I was before. But tonight, this is all a bit too much.

  Via an arm around my waist, Ed pulls me back against his body. His hard chest to my back. My ass against his groin. Whoa. Guess this is how we used to sit back in our couple days. Lounging all over each other, treating the other’s body like beloved and extremely hot furniture. But given it’s been less than twenty-four hours ago since he kissed me for the first time this go-around, then that trust thing this morning, it seems kind of awkward for some reason. Or maybe it’s just about being surrounded by people from my messy past. All of the differing emotions regarding and reactions toward me. I’m not sure my social skills are up to it. Hell, my ability to handle life in general is dubious right now.

  “This okay?” he asks, voice low.

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “Relax, then. You’re stiff as a board.”

  I ease back against him, trying to get comfortable. The span of his hand sits across my stomach in a possessive and thrilling manner. And if anything, he smells even better today than his shirt did last night. You can’t beat the real thing for authenticity. It’s some sort of sandalwood-type cologne and him. I’m not entirely sure we’d have been all over one another again so soon if Tessa hadn’t been giving me the stink eye. Ed’s protective instincts are nice. Comforting. Suddenly sharing the evening with her and her obviously still angry at me despite his whole easygoing guy-shtick boyfriend feels like the best thing possible. Then there’s Leif, who is always good company.

  This is fine. This should be fine.

  Leif, Tessa, Shannon, and Ed start talking about work things while Nevin and I drink our beers. At first, I try to ignore the throbbing inside my skull. But it’s no good.

  “Hey, I . . .” I start to say, wriggling off his lap.

  “You okay?” asks Ed.

  “Headache. I might take some Tylenol and lie down for a bit. I’ll be fine.”

  “Are you sure? You don’t need to see your doctor or something?”

  Now Leif is all worried too. “What’s up, Clem?”

  “All of a sudden, you really don’t look so good,” says Tessa, expression genuinely concerned. “What’s going on?”

  “Just a headache. Really, I’m okay. It happens sometimes.” I squeeze Ed’s shoulder and give him a smile. “Save me some pizza?”

  “Absolutely. I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

  I nod and lift my hand in farewell. Even Gordy lifts his head off Nevin’s lap, following my path with sad eyes. He’s a good dog, but his canine extrasensory perception is probably telling him there’s pizza coming. I’d stay put if I were him too. In the bedroom, I shut the door and turn on the little lamp. Take two of the pills sitting on the bedside table. Next I shuck off my shoes, jeans, extract my bra, and climb into bed.

  Conversation from the next room is only a distant, low noise. And in the almost quiet, things are better. Guess I just needed some space to give myself a chance to catch up with everything. Some alone time to process things. There’s so much to think about, despite the pain in my head. It takes me a fair while to fall asleep.

  Chapter Eleven

  I wake up alone in the dark hours later. The condo is quiet, all traces of chatter gone. But I open the bedroom door silently, listening to be sure before heading on out in my tee and underwear.
Ed is sitting at the table working. He’s got a pair of those soft blue sleep pants on, slung low on slim hips. No shirt. All that beautiful inked flesh on display. I almost start to drool. And I am apparently feeling much better. It’s not just the lust he inspires, it’s him. He makes me happy. He makes me feel wonderful things. From all of the heat of desire and warmth of affection through to the way he fills the empty places inside of me and feeding my curiosity with thoughts and words and experiences. I can’t lose this, and the bitch of it is, it could happen. Not just through mistakes we might make, but care of the asshole out there who has it in for me. Maybe I’m losing it, imagining some ticking clock, counting down the hours of my existence. The time I have left until I’m ended again. Only this time for good.

  “Hey,” he says softly when he sees me coming toward him. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good. What time is it?”

  “Just after ten.”

  “Everyone’s gone?” I slip my hand over his thick shoulder.

  “Tessa and Nevin went home and Leif and Shannon headed out for a drink. I came in earlier to check on you, but you were out.” He shifts his chair back, guiding me with a hand to the hip to stand between his legs. We’re alone in the quiet gentle of the night, just me and him. This is quite possibly another favorite life moment happening right here right now. He slides my hair back from my forehead, urging me to lean over so he can kiss my scar. It agitates me a little, the effort to not stop him. To not instantly cover the wound back up with my fringe. But if this is going to work, I can’t hide from him. “You feel like going back to sleep now or you want to talk for a while?”

  “I feel like staring at you because you’re so pretty.”

  “But you still respect me for my mind, right?” He smiles, my hands linked around his neck while his sit on my hips.

  “Oh, totally. For sure. I don’t only objectify you.”

  “I don’t believe you at all,” he murmurs.

  Maybe it’s the way my hand is already sliding over his hot skin, down his collarbones and over his chest. Or perhaps it’s the lust in my eyes. But I don’t really blame him for doubting. His face is all sharp lines like some film star out of an old black-and-white film. But with tatts and ’tude to bring him into the moment. To make him mine. God, I hope he’s mine. It’s fair to say my confidence regarding a lot of things has taken a hit today.

  “What’s on your mind, Clem?”

  “I’m worried,” I say, baring my soul. It’s necessary. This all feels so tenuous between us. As if it could be snatched away at any moment. “I’m scared you want the life back that we used to have and I can’t give that to you. I’m not the same person anymore and things have happened . . .”

  His hand slips beneath my T-shirt, fingers tracing circles into my back. “It’s different now. I know.”

  “Tessa and Nevin might never forgive me and they’re obviously a big part of your life, Ed.”

  “They’ll get over it eventually. Give it a chance.”

  I’m not convinced.

  “Hey, come here.” He pulls me in closer, resting the side of his face against the front of my shirt, against my breasts. Maybe he’s listening for my heart the same way I like to listen to his. The palms of his hands slide down the back of my bare thighs, up and down. Having more access to him is heady stuff. Being allowed so close. I stroke his neck, rest my cheek against the top of his head. “You had a crappy day and it was bad timing having everyone over. That’s on me. I’m sorry, baby.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “Kiss me,” he orders, lifting his face to mine.

  And his mouth against mine is poetry. His kiss sublime. The heat and taste of him are perfect. Pretty sure he could kiss me into submission. Hands grip my ass cheeks, fingers digging into my flesh just a little. Then he slides his fingers over my hips, tracing the waistband of my panties before heading north. Ed knows my body, knows what he’s doing. With his tongue in my mouth and his hands beneath my shirt, teasing and touching me so close to below my breasts but not quite. My stomach flips. What’s going on lower down is even more appreciative of his efforts.

  It’s a definite. No matter how clever my fingers, they can’t make me feel like this. Ed has it all over masturbation, bless him.

  Our lips press hard against each other, getting as close as possible. And I want more. Much more. I want everything. I break contact for a moment, lifting my shirt off over my head and throwing it far, far away. Clothing has no place in this moment. For a second, it almost occurs to me to be a little shy, standing there in nothing but my panties. But forget that. I climb onto his lap, straddling his legs. Skin on skin, my chest against his.

  “Shit . . .” His voice is low and rough. The heat in his eyes intensifies by about a thousand, his gaze shifting between my face and my now bare breasts. It’s like there’s a war going on inside of him. Want versus what’s safe, what makes sense given everything that’s happened. I know which side I hope will win. He, however, remains conflicted. “Maybe you should put your shirt back on.”

  “Why? This is still sort of slow,” lies my lying tongue.

  “It’s really not, baby.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I’m actually kind of done with slow.” One hand slides around the back of his strong neck, the other grasping hold of his bicep. His skin is warm and smooth to the touch. And I plan to do a whole lot of touching.

  “You weren’t feeling so great earlier. Shouldn’t we take it easy?”

  “But I’m feeling amazing now.”

  Even his scowl is sexy. “You know I had plans for this. Taking you out on a date, going to our favorite restaurant, doing it all the right way.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet.”

  “You like the sound of that? We don’t have to rush.”

  “But nothing about this feels wrong and we can still go on dates. In fact, I’d like that a lot.”

  His gaze on me narrows. “Clem . . .”

  “Woo me later. Fuck me now.”

  The noise in his throat is vaguely tortured with a hint of pissed off. But his mouth comes back to mine, our tongues rubbing against one another, teeth clashing just a little. Then his hot mouth travels down to my jawline and on to my neck. So damn good. I shove my hands through his hair, holding him to me. No way is he getting away now. If everything between us goes to shit sometime soon, at least I’ll have this memory.

  “You always get your way,” he growls. A thrilling sound.

  “Not even remotely.”

  “No?” His fingers expertly toy with my nipple, making me gasp and writhe on him. “Pretty damn sure you do.”

  His growing hard-on is caught between us, tenting the sleep pants. Ed turned on is a thing of wonder. I’ve never been so excited, all five senses hitting overload. My breath hitches, heart pounding.

  “Tell me, is this is a curiosity thing? You getting your answers again?” His teeth gently threaten my neck, his grip on my breast tightening to a sweet edge of pain. It would seem the man is part animal when it comes to sex. How awesome.

  “It’s a you thing and you know it,” I say, panting slightly.

  “Just as well.”

  In one swift motion he clears the table of drawing pad and pen. Then, with one hand on my ass and the other on my back, he surges up, placing me on the surface. Holy wow, the slightly feral look in his eyes as he stares down at me. I feel more alive than I ever have. Every inch of me bright with sensation. Though our underwear is an annoyance. An ache has started up between my legs, everything low inside of me feeling swollen and tight. Needy. He grinds his dick against me and I see stars. The long hard length of him pressing against the soaked gusset of my panties.

  “Sure you don’t want to calm things down? If you change your mind, we can stop anytime you want.” Oh God, the hunger in his eyes. He doesn’t want to stop any more than I do. So instead of answering, I wrap my legs around him. Actions speaking louder than words and all that.

  His fingers thread through m
y hair, tugging just a little as he kisses me. The nerves in my scalp fire up along with the rest of my body. Being like this with Ed is pure sensation. Each kiss is deeper, wetter than the one before. Our need for each other building.

  “How far do you want to take this, hmm?” he asks, before shifting lower, mouth covering a nipple, his tongue lashing over it, and yes. So good. When his teeth press in just so my back bows off the table. He bites my breast, my neck, my lower lip. Just enough each time to give me the sweet edge of his sting. “Answer me.”

  “Like I said, all the way,” I say, voice breathy. “I want to know what we’re like together.”

  “Is that so?”

  His hand slips into my pants, fingers ever so gently stroking me there, building me up and up. Making me even wetter. Little wonder he’s an expert at this too. A thick finger eases inside of me, pumping slowly. Then he adds a second, stretching me. He curves his fingers, rubbing at some sweet point inside of me, making me moan. Everything low in me coils tighter and tighter. If he just keeps doing exactly that for a while, I’ll come for sure. Instead, he draws his fingers out and I almost cry at the loss. Undignified yet true.

  “Are you listening to me, Clem?”

  “Y-yes.”

  “I don’t believe you.” Then he lightly slaps my sex and fuck. My eyes and mouth pop wide open. His smile is all satisfaction and sharp teeth. “Look at me, baby.”

  I have nothing. I can barely catch my breath. The truth is, Ed’s a little mean when it comes to sex and I love it. Hell. I’m pretty sure I love him. Or maybe I’m just wildly aroused beyond belief and my brain is melting. Hard to tell. It’s all so overwhelming. Much more than I expected it to be.

  “Okay.” Sadly, he pulls his hand out of my underwear and licks them clean before lifting me up into his arms. “We’ll do it your way for now. But the first time we fuck isn’t going to be on a table. And tomorrow, we’re having a long talk about you and your lack of patience.”

  I cling to him as he heads down the hallway and into his bedroom. The door shut and locked behind us.