“No,” I said. “With Sawyer down and out, the place has been quiet.” Will and I each looked at each other at that, because we both knew that didn’t necessarily mean it was over. This could very well be the calm before the storm—and the storm might not even involve other students. It might just involve Ray.
The storm might not even come for Declan; it might come full-force for me.
Will’s voice lowered into a bare whisper, “And you haven’t heard anything from…” He trailed off, not wanting to say my ex’s name. Couldn’t blame him there.
“No,” I whispered back. “He’s been quiet, too.” Which I found odd. So insanely odd. A psycho like him usually didn’t wait too long, but then again, he’d watched me practically my entire time at Hillcrest. Maybe, after getting off on that technicality, he’d learned a bit of patience.
Declan was in the process of sliding on a shirt. “What are you two whispering about over there?”
“Nothing important,” Will said, sounding very believable. “Just making some bets on who’s going to eat the most turkey.” A small fib that came to him easily, and quickly too. The little lie made me look up at him with a quizzical expression on my face. Will noticed that I stared, and his hazel eyes met mine, unabashed.
Had I ever heard Will lie before? He was…very, very believable. Huh.
“Oh, come on,” Declan said from the other side of the room, oblivious to the staring contest happening between Will and I. “We all know the one here with the biggest gut is Ash. No contest.”
Okay, that comment made me tear my gaze away from Will and stare at Declan with an open mouth.
Declan was practically tripping over his own feet to rush to my side and say, “I was kidding. You’re too skinny. Eat as much turkey as you want.” And then he gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek, our earlier passion but a memory thanks to Will’s sudden presence.
“Grab your bags,” Will said. “Time to head out.” Though he spoke to both of us, his hazel stare lingered on me, making me feel…confused. I didn’t particularly like the fact that he’d lied so easily, but I knew it was a stupid thing to think about. After all, I’d lied to them all about Ray, and that was something huge. It probably meant nothing. Just me overthinking things. It’s what I did.
I grabbed my backpack, Declan swung his bag around his shoulders, and soon enough we were leaving. As we rode the elevator down, I checked my phone and found that Travis had already responded, though I didn’t expect anything less when it came to him. If I told him to jump, he’d quickly reply with how high?
Travis was going to look for Sabrina’s other diary. I didn’t know why, but I felt like I needed to see it, to read it, to know, without a doubt, what happened to her. This mystery surrounding her death, her possible suicide, made me question things again, and I didn’t like it. I wanted to be sure. I wanted to know if someone else in her life had been her killer, or if she’d really been so depressed she hung herself and no one had been there to keep her from doing it.
That…that was a depressing thought. I used to think I’d always have Kelsey there for me, if I ever spiraled that low, but now? Now I couldn’t help but wonder. It’d been almost a month since I talked to her.
How long was I going to let what happened step in between our friendship? We’d been friends for years, ever since elementary. The rift between us wouldn’t last forever, but it would last a bit longer. At least until Ray was out of the picture. When I was finally safe.
We filed in Will’s car in the turnaround and we were off. I sat in the backseat, watching as the scenery rolled by. The weather had gotten noticeably cooler these past few weeks, though we hadn’t had snow yet. This area, from what I understood, didn’t get much snow. The weather was usually temperate here.
Though Will and Declan kept up conversation, I was too lost in my own head. Me, finally being safe from Ray. That would only happen if Ray was dead, because it was clear the police couldn’t do shit to him. And in order for Ray to be dead, someone had to make the final blow, because that asshole would never string a rope around his neck and kill himself. No, Ray wasn’t that kind of person. He’d kill other people, but not himself.
No, in order for Ray to die, someone had to kill him.
I suspected Travis was a bit like Ray in that aspect, and with the conversations he had with his older brother, it was impossible not to imagine him doing it. Travis, taking the bloody lead and ending Ray once and for all. In all honesty, I would love that.
Eh, both love and hate it. Love it because it would remove Ray from the picture, and hate it because then I’d know for sure Travis was just another psychopath I was letting into my bed.
Frankly, if someone had to do it, it should be me. I was the one who brought Ray here. I was the reason Will was attacked. Everything was because of me, so I should be the one to end it. Ray had tried to mold me into him, make me just like him.
If he wanted a killer, he’d get a killer.
Chapter Twenty-One – Will
Ash’s mood had settled pretty low during the car ride home. Well, I hated to call it home because it never really felt like home. Our wonderful father always made sure of that. It was never enough for that guy.
As I turned us into the long, winding driveway—practically a mile long—I kept checking on Ash in the rearview mirror. She stared out the window, not at the giant house on the grassy hill in front of us, but just…just out. At the general outside world. She nibbled her bottom lip slightly, and I frowned.
I didn’t like seeing her so upset. I had to figure out what it was, especially if Declan was too blind to see it.
I loved Declan, I did, but sometimes he could be a little dense. Take Sabrina, for example. She and Travis had been fucking around on him for months, and he didn’t know it. I knew Declan wasn’t the type to call things off, but when he did, I knew things were serious. But then, I always suspected something was going on between Sabrina and Travis; I didn’t hang around with them because I was a few years older, but it didn’t take much. When Declan came home with stories, I read between the lines.
Declan and Sabrina probably would’ve gotten back together, because that’s just the kind of guy my brother was, but unfortunately Travis was not the only one she’d been sleeping with at the time.
I really, really hoped Ash wouldn’t follow Sabrina’s lead. So far, things between her and Declan seemed different, more open. Plus the whole…relationship with Travis thing, not to mention the talk Declan had with me before. Declan was okay sharing, as long as the sharing was out in the open. Everyone had personal boundaries. Lies usually went against those boundaries, and Sabrina had been a liar.
I was a liar, but I only lied to protect Declan from the truth.
The garage was attached to the house, and I parked just outside it. I’d pull it in later, though I supposed I could just leave the car parked outside and really piss Dad off. Declan was the first out of the car, and he opened Ash’s door and helped her out. I went to the trunk and grabbed our bags. We didn’t pack much, mostly because this wasn’t going to be a full-length break. Declan and Ash were headed back to Hillcrest early, and there was no way I’d be staying here with Dad by myself.
Fuck that. Dad could look at me with suspicion all he wanted, but it didn’t matter. I had the evidence, and I was waiting for the perfect time to use it. Ash was…a nice, constant distraction, but it would happen eventually.
Sometime very soon, it would all be over.
Declan took Ash to the house, and I walked behind them. Declan would show her around, show her where she’d be staying, and I…I needed to avoid Dad as much as possible. He was still on campus probably, doing whatever it was deans did, so I had some time to unwind, some time to practice how I would act in front of him.
Ever since getting stabbed, it was like Dad suddenly wanted to be a part of my life again. Go figure. All it took was nearly dying for him to come crawling back to me, and even then, he was full of suspicion, as if he thought I inv
ited the attacker to stab me.
No. Just…no. But it wasn’t like I could tell him that it was Ash’s crazy serial killer of an ex who attacked me. That was a bit of information I had to keep tucked neatly away to myself.
While Declan gave her a tour of the empty house, I meandered up the grand staircase and to my room. The halls seemed narrower, the lights dimmer. The magic of this place had worn off years ago, and yet, even after everything that had happened inside these walls, we still lived in it. Dad never moved us. How could he? This family had far too many skeletons in its closets.
I found my bedroom in a few minutes, and I heaved a sigh as I set my bag down and moved to my bed. The room was practically as large as my entire apartment, full of furniture that hardly saw use, multiple dressers whose drawers were mostly empty. Hardwood floors beneath the circular carpet situated in the center of the room. Two large windows sat on the far side, window seats in each of them. This was a room many kids would die to have growing up, and yet it just felt empty to me.
Most things felt empty, actually.
I reached to my chest, laying a hand against my ribcage. I could feel my heart beating, and yet, odd as it was, I felt as though it had stopped all those years ago, when I learned the truth. This family was not as perfect as it pretended to be. Dad was simply a monster lying in wait to pounce…and, foolish me, I’d delivered Ash right to him.
But Ash wasn’t like Mom, and she wasn’t like Sabrina. Ash had come from nothing, and even though she wavered on occasion, she was stronger than she knew. Maybe Ash and I could take the bastard down together.
That…that was a thought I would ponder all during this break.
Time went by, and eventually I got up and headed to my bag. A part of me had wanted to bring it along, just to have it with me, but I knew Dad well enough by now not to trust him. He’d go through my things, find it. He’d find it, and I’d lose what little I had over him. Without it, it was just my word against his, and he had the money and the connections. Me? I only had the money. Trust fund baby.
“Well, well, well,” Ash’s voice broke through my thoughts, and I turned, setting my bag down on the bed as I watched her walk into my room. She held her hands behind her back, and I noticed Declan was nowhere near.
Did she want to come to me alone?
“So this is where William Briggs grew up, huh?” she spoke, her lips curling into a smile. Those lips…did she not know how tempting she was? Holding myself back was hard. I knew Declan had told me it was alright, but still. He was my brother. I didn’t want to disappoint him, to hurt him, even if he gave me the go-ahead.
“This is it,” I said, watching as she walked around the room, checking everything out.
“You don’t have any pictures hanging on your walls,” Ash commented, glancing at me.
No, I didn’t. Mostly because there wasn’t anything important to hang. None of me, none of this family. No childish pictures of animals or anything like that. My room was large, but beyond the furniture resting in it, it was pretty bare.
Watching her, observing her notice little things hardly anyone else did, made me realize that this girl might only be eighteen, but she was much older than that inside. The things she’d seen had forced her to grow up. Sometimes she was silly, but more often than not she was serious, almost too mature for her age. Like…like she hadn’t had a childhood.
Just like me.
Ash and I…we were alike in more ways than I thought.
This girl. How the hell was I supposed to stay away from this girl when she was right here? How was I supposed to hold myself back when she looked at me with those big, grey eyes and that pouting mouth?
“Where’s Declan?” That was my half-assed attempt at trying to salvage this, trying to stop myself from stepping over the line.
Her thin shoulders shrugged, and she made a full circle in my room, moving to sit on my bed. She wore her high top sneakers, along with frayed long shorts and a shirt that hugged her slender frame tightly. No beanie, so her blonde and pink hair fell onto her shoulders. She’d taken off the thin jacket she wore during the drive. “I told him I needed to talk to you,” she said, pausing, “alone.”
Alone? What would she need to talk to me alone about? My mind went wild with the possibilities, and it was a struggle to keep myself in check. This one made me want to lose control. I could understand why Declan was so keen on having her, on sharing her. She was…well, she wasn’t quite like anyone else. Not a normal girl by any means.
Ash glanced behind her, at the open door and the hall. She gestured for me to come closer, and I did. This girl…I could not deny her, even if it was for the best. Her voice lowered to a bare whisper as she said, “I asked Travis to look for Sabrina’s other diary while he’s at the Salvatore’s for Thanksgiving.”
Ash…Ash knew Sabrina had two diaries? What else did she know about Sabrina? Surely not the whole story. That other diary, though it detailed her encounters with Travis, was not nearly revealing enough.
There was no way Ash knew the truth. No possible way.
I didn’t know how much she thought I knew, so I played dumb, “What are you talking about?”
“With everything that’s going on with Ray, I…” She shrugged. “I guess I just want to know the truth. What really happened to Sabrina, if her other diary has anything else written in it. I saw her other one, but I don’t think things are that simple. I know Sawyer blamed Declan, but I know it wasn’t Declan. It wasn’t Travis, either, and I don’t think for a second that Sawyer could ever hurt his own sister.”
The way she spoke about them, it sounded like she loved them. When she wasn’t with me, was my name included like that? Did she talk about me like she talked about them?
“I just want to figure it out, and maybe…maybe help them get back together. It’s nice to have friends,” Ash muttered, turning her face toward her lap.
Even though I shouldn’t, I moved to sit beside her. My arm and leg were inches away from hers, and I resisted my urge to scoot even closer. “Have you talked to Kelsey lately?” They’d told me what happened, and I didn’t blame her for needing space. Still, something like that, when it came to Sawyer, shouldn’t surprise her. He was a dick through and through.
“No. I…I don’t know what I’d say.” Ash shook her head. “I know I need to, but I want to wait until Ray is gone. One thing at a time, you know?”
I could understand where she was coming from. My whole plan regarding Dad and the journal had gotten sidetracked with her bursting into my life. I understood it all too well.
“That makes sense,” I told her, leaning over to bop shoulders with her. “Just don’t wait too long, or you’ll somehow find yourself years down the road with the same intentions.” That wasn’t strictly me speaking from experience there, but I could imagine it happening. Me, going to Hillcrest, getting sidetracked because I was on the same campus as Ash.
She was very distracting.
Very.
“You know, you don’t really talk about yourself that often,” Ash told me, turning her torso to face me. She was so close, I could smell her. The slight, fruity traces of whatever soap she’d used earlier. “Besides you being Declan’s brother, I don’t really know that much about you.”
It was true, we’d bonded during a frantic, hectic, dangerous time.
Even though I knew I shouldn’t, I reached for her hair, sifting a tendril of it between my fingers as I watched her lips slowly part. “There’s not much to know about me, honestly,” I said. “I’m boring, Ash. Getting stabbed was the highlight of the year, actually.”
She giggled at that, and I relished the sound, eventually releasing her hair…only to place the same hand on her lower back. God, she was warm. So warm, so inviting. It would be all too easy for me to lean in. I’d tasted those lips before, on more than one occasion, but now that Declan had told me it was okay, I knew that if we crossed the line, there would be no looking back. If something happened between us, it would mea
n more than our previous embraces.
Ash’s giggling ended the moment she whispered, “You could’ve died because of me, Will. I…I don’t know what I would’ve done if you—”
Damn it. As much as I knew I had to hold back, I didn’t want to. Not anymore. Not right now. When it came to Ash, my willpower was nil, nonexistent, and I was a slave to the emotions warring inside of me. She was the perfect distraction, and I hoped she would never leave. Ash…I knew why Declan needed her so; I craved her just as badly as he did.
I stopped her from saying anything more. Having her confess her guilt wasn’t something I wanted. Right now, the only sound I wanted to hear from that beautiful, enticing voice was a moan of pleasure so guttural it would be forever imprinted on my brain.
My mouth met with hers, and I told her, through that kiss, everything I was too anxious to tell her aloud. The truth. My truth. She thought I was the perfect older brother? I wasn’t. I was just as bad as the rest of them, just as twisted and sick—I only hid it better. I pretended better. The mask I wore was of a finer quality.
Ash was only taken by surprise for a few mere moments; soon enough her lips melded to mine, and she returned my embrace. Her body turned toward me, and she practically crawled onto my lap, eager to run her hands down my chest, desperate to wrap her arms around my neck and push her tongue into my throat.
She tasted like life. She tasted forbidden, everything I wanted but couldn’t have. Why was I so keen on keeping myself away from her? Was it for Declan, or was I, deep down, afraid I’d hurt her?
The Briggs name was not a good one. Didn’t she see that by now? Declan was the best of us. Me, Dad, even Mom, though she was long gone now, we were all fucked up in the worst way.
My back fell, and we both collapsed on the bed. Ash moved to straddle me, her tongue dancing with mine, making me feel things I hadn’t felt in so long. God, I wanted this girl more than I wanted anything in the world. Arousal came easy when it came to her, my dick growing harder by the second.
Psycho: A Dark College Romance (Hillcrest University Book 4) Page 16