by Beth Wiseman
“Me too,” he answered softly.
* * *
Amos moseyed up the stairs after he said goodnight to Naomi. It had been a long time since he’d spent any significant amount of time with a woman. And even longer since he’d painted. Naomi was easy to talk to. He was comfortable around her. They wanted the same thing, some sort of peace about the fact that their lives were moving in directions they hadn’t chosen. They were also on the same page about not being in the market for love, which allowed Amos to relax around Naomi.
He walked into his bedroom but stopped right over the threshold and lifted his lantern to see better. He edged closer to the bed, toward the painting that rested against the headboard. Leaning down, he positioned the light so he could read the artist’s signature, even though he already knew who painted the landscape. Naomi Marie Byler.
Amos adjusted the flame until the lantern was at its brightest, then placed it on the nightstand as he sat on the bed. He gingerly ran his hand along the top of the large canvas, honored that Naomi had chosen to share it with him.
He slipped his shoes off and tucked one leg under the other, eyeing everything about the brilliant colors and wishing he hadn’t told her he’d paint with her. She was way better than he was. He had already learned something about her, even if it was a tiny blow to his ego.
He studied Naomi’s work and wondered why she’d chosen to share the painting with him. Did she want him to know her better? Was she reaching out to him? Could they heal each other? He knew only God could do that, but he also believed He often worked through others.
Amos leaned closer to the vibrant colors. She’d painted this when she was happy, that was certain. Amos was no art critic. He’d visited a few museums and even attended some artists’ events where they spoke about the use of color and what it means. If he was interpreting this painting correctly, he liked what he saw.
He gazed upon the reflection of Naomi’s personality for another fifteen minutes before he carefully leaned it against the wall. He’d decide by tomorrow whether or not to share his thoughts with her. If he did, she’d know right away that he’d begun to feel something more than friendship toward her, which came as a complete surprise to Amos.
Nine
Naomi wasn’t sorry to see the woman and her two daughters leave right after breakfast. Catherine had delivered another play for Amos’s affections, and her actions had gotten under Naomi’s skin more than she could have predicted. Her nametag had been moved again at breakfast, and she knew Amos didn’t do it. She’d caught Catherine making the switch.
Naomi had to admit that what she felt was jealousy, but that didn’t make sense. She was looking forward to spending time with Amos this evening too. And what did he think about the painting she’d left in his room? Since he had gone to the back pasture to work on the fence, she’d have to wait until this evening to find out, unless he brought it up at dinner or supper. She suspected he would wait until they were alone at the pond.
Suddenly, her stomach started to churn. She’d always been hesitant about letting anyone see her paintings, and it had taken a lot of courage to show Amos the one she treasured most. What if he didn’t like it? And to actually paint with someone . . . Her stomach roiled again. What was I thinking? She’d been so caught up in the thought of unveiling a creative part of herself that she hadn’t considered how personal it would feel to paint side by side with Amos.
Naomi placed the last clean dish on the rack and was drying her hands when Lizzie walked into the kitchen. Usually Lizzie helped her clear the breakfast dishes, but she’d been quiet through the meal and disappeared upstairs without eating much.
Lizzie hung her head, her arms straight at her sides, shoulders slumped.
Naomi took a step closer and waited until Lizzie looked up. “Are you okay?” She hoped this wasn’t about Whiskers, the name she’d given her kitten, who would soon be sent outside to live as a barn cat. Twice now Naomi hadn’t closed her bedroom door all the way, and Whiskers found her way out and toured the upstairs area. Luckily Naomi found her before Lizzie. Naomi hated leaving the cat in her bedroom all day. She tried to spend as much time with her as she could. Whiskers would probably be happier chasing mice in the barn than being confined to Naomi’s room.
“I’ve lost mei teeth.” Lizzie pressed her thin lips together as she clenched her fists at her sides. “Don’t tell Esther.”
Naomi fought hard not to smile. “I think she will notice.” Pausing, she leaned against the kitchen counter. “Is that why you didn’t eat much at breakfast?”
“Ya.” She raised an eyebrow. “Any eggs left?”
“Nee. Do you want me to cook you some oatmeal?”
Lizzie’s eyes darted around the kitchen. “How much time do we have? Where’s Esther?”
Now she couldn’t stop herself from grinning. “Lizzie, you might as well just tell Esther you lost your teeth. You won’t be able to hide it for long. And you’ll starve yourself if you don’t find them soon.”
“They’re here somewhere. I’ll find them.” She twisted to peek in the living room, then looked back at Naomi. “Where is Esther?” she asked again.
“She said Gus had more mail.” She pointed to the kitchen window. “It looks like she’s almost at the cottage.”
“That old grump should get his own mail, but I guess if Esther can stomach being around him, it’s better than him coming here.” Lizzie pressed her palms together. “Child, if you would make me some oatmeal, I’d be grateful.”
“Of course.” Naomi took a pot from the cabinet.
“Please knock on mei bedroom door three times,” she said in a whisper. “I’ll know it’s you. I’ve got to find mei teeth.”
Naomi didn’t know why a secret knock was needed, but she nodded. “I’ll help you look for your dentures after I make the oatmeal. Have you been upstairs?”
Lizzie rubbed the back of her neck. “Ya, I had to go up there to find some quilting scraps I had stored in the linen closet.” She spoke with an odd lisp. “But I didn’t stay long. I heard that varmint running around in your room. Sounded like he was bouncing off the walls.” She crossed her arms and hugged herself. “You brought a vicious creature under our roof.”
Naomi laughed. “Lizzie, Whiskers—who is a she, by the way—is just a sweet, harmless little kitten. If you got to know her—”
“Stop.” Lizzie held her arms out, both palms facing Naomi. “They scratch, they bite, they jump out and scare you for no reason, and I’m sure they are descendants of some prehistoric, aggressive creature.”
Naomi chuckled.
“Go ahead and laugh.” Lizzie pointed a finger at her. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you if that critter attacks you in the night.”
“I’ll remember that.” Naomi took the oatmeal from the cupboard.
“Don’t forget, knock three times.” Lizzie scampered away like a child playing hide-and-seek.
Naomi shook her head, grinning. Hopefully they would find the dentures before Esther noticed. Naomi wasn’t sure Lizzie could sit silently through another meal.
* * *
Esther plodded up the steps to the cottage, and Gus opened the door before she knocked. She pushed a slice of key lime pie at him, along with two pieces of mail.
“Why are you bringing me pie this early in the morning?” Gus scratched his forehead as he yawned.
“It’s not that early, and since I am also delivering mail, I decided to save myself a trip later. I also wanted to let you know that mei appointment with the doctor is at ten Monday morning, so I’d like to leave at nine.”
Gus lifted the foil from the pie and sniffed. “I’m going to eat this, but just for future reference, I’m not real fond of key lime.”
Esther took a deep breath, wanting to tell him that he’d have to accept whatever she brought him. But she might need more than one ride from him.
Thankfully, Gus stepped backward and closed the door. Early morning conversation with him was never a good wa
y to start the day.
As she walked back to the main house, she made a mental to-do list of the things she wanted to tend to today. She liked to keep her agenda light on Saturdays. Naomi took care of most of the housework, but Esther liked to haul out the rugs, hang them over the clothesline, and give them an old-fashioned bashing with the broom. After that, she wanted to organize their preserves in the basement and make sure they were stocked up for winter. Then after a nap, she might treat herself to a good book.
She was almost back to the main house when she heard a faint whimpering. It was Mary. She was on her porch, sweeping. The leaves this time of year were a nuisance. Esther added another item to her list of things to do today, if Lizzie or Naomi didn’t get to it first: sweep the porch.
Mary cried a lot, and since John wasn’t home, Esther decided to see if she could help. In the past Mary rushed into the house when Esther veered in her direction. Esther had heard rumors that their inability to have a baby was taking a toll on the marriage. The girl quickly pulled a tissue from her apron pocket, dabbed at her eyes, and tried to smile.
“Wie bischt, Esther.” Mary stilled the broom and waited for Esther to come up the steps to the daadi haus. All the houses had steps, and they became more of a challenge for Esther with each passing year.
“I see you’re busy sweeping, but I thought maybe I could sit a spell.” Esther wished she could do something to ease the young woman’s suffering. She understood the anguish of an empty womb all too well. It was decades ago, but she could still remember a doctor telling her she wouldn’t be able to have children. Lizzie was told the same thing within the same year. The reasons were different, and the doctor had said not to try to rationalize it, that it was the hand they’d each been dealt. Looking back, it seemed a cold delivery of such horrible news.
“If I spend a little time resting over here, Lizzie will have more time to find her teeth.” Esther chuckled, hoping to lighten Mary’s mood. “She thinks I don’t know, but when Lizzie doesn’t talk and barely eats during a meal, it’s a sure sign she has misplaced her dentures again.”
Mary offered a small smile. “Stay as long as you’d like.” She pointed to one of the chairs. “We can sit outside, or if it’s too cool for you, we can go inside and I’ll put on a pot of kaffi.”
Sunrays flooded the porch with morning light. “I always prefer to be outside when possible to enjoy these beautiful surroundings, if you’re not too cold.”
“Not at all.” Mary’s voice was a little shaky as she leaned the broom against the house and both women sat down. Her eyes drifted to the inn. “You grew up in the main haus, ya? I bet you have so many wonderful memories.”
Esther shrugged. “Some gut, some not so gut. But I’m blessed that the gut outweigh the bad.” She decided to get to the point. “Mary, are your tears because you and John haven’t conceived a child?”
The color drained from the young woman’s face. “You must think I don’t do anything but cry all day.” She hung her head.
“I think you probably cry more than most, but that you also have moments of joy.” Esther hadn’t meant to make Mary uncomfortable. They weren’t all that close, after all. “But I do understand how hard it is to want a child and not be able to have one.”
Mary still stared at her feet. “You must think I’m silly. I know there is a chance John and I can have a boppli, but I can’t understand why it’s taking so long.” She looked at Esther, blinking back tears. “I know you and Lizzie couldn’t have kinner, and that must have been devastating to hear.”
“It was.” Esther paused, reflecting on the good things in her life. “But we’ve been blessed in other ways. We both married men we loved and enjoyed many years with them. But I do understand the heartache, and Mary, I continue to pray that Gott will bless you with the family you long for. We never know why His time frame varies so much from our own expectations. I can only encourage you to hold tighter to the moments of joy, and . . .” Esther knew she was about to overstep, but she was going to do it anyway. “And don’t let your grief become so great that other relationships suffer. John is a gut man.” Esther wasn’t close to Mary’s husband, either, but she’d heard only good things about him from people in the community.
“He tries so hard to be patient with me.” Mary’s voice broke a little. “Sometimes I just want to lash out at Gott, tell Him that it’s not fair to make us keep waiting. We’ve been trying to have a family for five years. And we’ve been to Englisch doctors. They said there isn’t any notable reason we shouldn’t be able to have a boppli.”
Esther tipped her head to the side a bit, surprised Mary was confiding in her in such a personal way. She straightened and crossed one leg over the other. “I can’t pretend to understand Gott’s timing, but Mary . . .” This next part would be hard for her to swallow. “I’m not telling you to give up your desire for a family, but I think you must also consider other ways to keep joy in your life, just in case it doesn’t happen.”
“Is that what you and Lizzie did?” Mary dabbed at her eyes with the tissue again.
Esther thought back for a moment. “I think Lizzie was more devastated than I was. She didn’t get out of bed for days after she found out.”
“You were okay with it, though?”
“Nee,” Esther said, shaking her head. “I wasn’t. It was a quite a blow. I wondered if anyone would ever want to marry me, knowing I couldn’t have a family. We both found out before we married. Mei ovaries never matured, so mei chances of conceiving were very slim. It’s been so many years, I honestly don’t remember why Lizzie couldn’t have kinner. And we don’t speak of it much these days.” She smiled. “Sometimes family is who we make it, and over the years, I’ve been blessed with relationships that have felt like family. Like Naomi. She’s basically our grossdochder.” Esther paused. “We would love to see more of you and John too.”
“Is Gus your family too?” Mary actually grinned.
Esther chuckled. “I wouldn’t go that far.” Then she thought about it. “Ach, I guess in some ways he is. He’s lived in the cottage for a long time. And doesn’t every family have a black sheep?”
“I never talk to him.” Mary shook her head. “He’s miserable and never has anything nice to say. There is definitely no joy in his life.” She locked eyes with Esther. “I don’t want to be like that.”
“Hon, I don’t think you ever have to worry about that.” She laughed again.
“Someone came looking for him the other day. She said her name was Heather and that she was Gus’s dochder. I was shocked, but I told her Gus lived in the cottage across the way. She thanked me, then went back to her red car and just sat there for a long time, maybe thirty minutes. Then she drove away without ever going to Gus’s door.”
“So, he really does have a dochder,” Esther whispered before looking at Mary. “We didn’t know he had a child either. Gus asked me to cut his hair the other night, and he went to a lot of trouble to clean up the cottage. I admit, we watched out the window off and on all day, hoping to get a glimpse of her. Now that I think back, we did see a car in front of your haus once, but I thought it was an Englisch friend of yours. And I didn’t realize the woman sat in the car for thirty minutes.”
“I wonder why she didn’t go see him.” Mary’s tears had dried up, and Esther was glad she’d provided a distraction from her struggles.
“Gus said he hadn’t seen her since she was fifteen, and at the time, she apparently told him she never wanted to see him again.” Esther’s heart ached for him as she thought about how horrible that must have been, even for Gus.
“This woman was older, maybe in her fifties.” Mary put a hand to her chest. “She hasn’t seen her daed in a very long time.”
“Nee, and even though it’s Gus . . . I felt sorry for him when she didn’t show up.”
“She was pretty,” Mary said. “And fancy. I mean, she had on pretty makeup and clothes and jewelry. And her car looked nice too.” She pursed her lips. “Nothing
like Gus. What makes a man turn out like Gus? I pray for him, but I’ve always wondered how he became the way he is.”
“Ya, I think we all have. It also remains a mystery why mei mamm insisted on her death bed that Lizzie and I allow him to live in the cottage for the rest of his days.”
Mary sighed. “Lizzie mentioned that to me one day.”
Esther recalled the sullen expression on Gus’s face when she asked him about it. It was the most vulnerable she’d ever seen him, even though he offered no explanation. He only said that if their mother had wanted them to know, she would have told them. But his response had offered a clue. There was a reason he’d been allowed to live there forever. Lizzie and Esther’s mother had chosen not to tell them that reason. Gus must have something on their mother. That had to be it. But every time Esther rolled the thought over in her mind, it just didn’t fit.
Mary and Esther both jumped from their chairs when they heard a loud scream coming from the main house that caused her heart to thump wildly in her chest.
“Lizzie!” Esther rushed from Mary’s porch toward her house.
“I’m coming too!” Mary yelled as she caught up with Esther.
More screams followed, and Esther ran faster than she’d thought she was capable of these days. If anything happened to Lizzie . . .
Ten
Naomi was collecting eggs when she heard Lizzie screaming from inside the house. She dropped the basket of six eggs and darted across the yard. When she flung open the front door, Lizzie was standing on the couch screeching at the top of her lungs.
“That cat thinks mei teeth are a toy!” Lizzie pointed at Whiskers who was playing hockey with her dentures across the wood floor. “I will never put those things in mei mouth again.”