The Afflicted Zodiac Complete Series
Page 43
“They’re fucking on the back patio, I think,” Merc supplies.
CHAPTER 33
URANUS
“Ahhhhhhhh!” Zahra yells, clamping her hands over her ears. “Stop!”
We all laugh.
“Ha-ha!” Pluto gives a triumphant shout when he wrests his crayon free. “Moldy grapes purple, really Zahra?”
“What does ours mean?” Juno cuts in, sitting next to Fire.
Zahra had given them a joint crayon.
Saturn takes it and reads out loud Mi media naranja orange and I see a tender smile tug his lips.
“Mi media naranja literally means my other half of the orange, but it translates as soulmate,” he explains to the couple.
Both awww over Zahra’s name and her fiery choice of color.
“I got Good vibrations violet,” Air announces.
“I got Go fuck yourself fuchsia. . .” Pallas says in confusion.
“Yeah, sorry. I got to thinking about your beautiful magenta skin and acted in jealousy. No hard feelings, I hope,” Zahra says.
“None. I did get the better color of pink,” Pallas agrees, earning her a glare from our Venus, but Zahra quickly drops it good-humoredly.
“Yeah, that’s why I got me this,” she says, holding out a baby pink crayon.
It gets passed around and when it comes to me I read Eat my pussy pink.
God, who raised this wild child?
Oh, that’s right, they’re out back, screwing each other with a houseful of guests inside.
“We got Chocolate-hole kisses brown. Thank you, Venus,” Ceres tells Zahra and Earth bows his head in thanks, too.
“What are chocolate-hole kisses?” he asks Merc.
“When you kiss someone’s asshole with your tongue,” Merc responds authoritatively.
“Oooo, we’ve never tried that,” Ceres comments. “Thank you again, my Venus!”
Zahra’s face is wrinkled in disgust and Merc doubles over laughing.
I guess that color name backfired on her.
“Are you going to open yours?” she demands to Saturn.
Given how I’ve got Your Anus azure and my twin has Seamen cerulean, I would be worried if I were Saturn.
Without looking down, Saturn snaps the box in half, like Mars, and catches the falling crayon.
Neptune leans over to read it.
“What’s it say, bratik?” I whisper.
“Dickhead maroon,” he whispers back.
“I’m going to spank your ass,” Saturn informs Zahra.
“Don’t you threaten me!” she shouts at him.
“It wasn’t a threat; it was a promise.” He rejoins slickly.
Smooth-ass motherfucker.
“Hey!” Mars roars. “Dickhead’s my name!”
“You’re all dickheads!” Zahra shouts back.
“Even me?” Jupiter wants to know.
“Especially you!”
“She’s still not over what I did, is she?” he asks to no one in particular.
“Nope,” Mercury answers him. “That’s why I’m her favorite.”
“Ha!” Zahra scoffs. “You fucking wish!”
What are the other boxes for?” I ask her, noticing three other boxes under the tree.
“Oh. . .I got crayons for Edgar and Lilith. . . and, ah, Moon.”
“You got Moon a crayon?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes!” she defends. “She’s good now and needs our love.”
I scrub a hand over my face.
“Well, what did you get them?” I demand impatiently.
“Don’t use that tone of voice on me,” she commands. “I got Lilith Bad to the Bone black; Edgar has Ride me and it’s half black and half white, like him. Get it? Ride me, because he’s a horse?”
“We get it,” My twin says while Pluto groans at her awful pun.
“And Moon’s?” Sunny urges.
“Oh, Hoary ivory.”
“Whorey ivory?” I choke out.
“Fitting,” is all Mars adds.
“And I had one more made. It’s special. It’s a rainbow crayon that just says Trust Tree Sister for Life.”
“Um, ok. Whose is that one?” Jupiter queries.
“Just some friends of mine that always have my back,” she supplies unhelpfully.
Will I ever understand this woman?
“Nope, never,” Neptune confirms, catching my mental musings.
Well, fuck.
This is going to be a long-ass human life, but I can’t imagine spending it without our Venus.
“Where do you think she is?” Zahra suddenly asks.
“Who?” Pallas wonders, not understanding Zahranese.
“Moon,” Air supplies, understanding our woman easily.
Which kind of chaps my ass, but I think when Zahra made the Elements, she imparted some of herself in the process and they simply understand and respond to it. I still think they’re ass-twerps, though.
“Who knows; who cares,” Mars remarks nonchalantly.
“I care,” Zahra says softly. “She was unbalanced, Caed. You know what that felt like when only the darkness consumed you. I just want to help her.”
“You have a tender heart,” Vesta compliments. “And a very perverted mind.”
“Thank you,” Zahra accepts graciously. “Can I ask you a personal question, by the way?”
“Sure,” Vesta replies.
“Are you a squirter? I mean, you are with the water element. . .”
“Excuse me?” Vesta splutters, while we all groan at Zahra’s appalling lack of manners.
“What? It’s not like she’s a sweet, old virgin. Besides, I can’t call her Gerty McSquirty if it’s not true.”
“Can you give us a moment?” Sunny asks the Minors and they rush to exit the room, probably fearing Saturn’s lecture on manners to Zahra.
But we’re not going to lecture her.
Much.
We form a circle around our goddess and wait while she rants about just teasing ‘General Gerty’ and Mars finally clamps a hand over her mouth to shut her up.
“Zahra, I know we haven’t been dating you for very long, but every last one of us worships the ground you walk upon. And not because you were the answer to our curse, but because you are the sunshine in my life,” Sunny tells her.
“And because you’re the life to my death,” Pluto adds.
“And my fantasy come to life,” my twin says.
“Because you temper me,” Mars puns.
“Because you piss me off,” Saturn says in seriousness.
“Because as much as you think I’m the Devil, you’re a little she-devil, too,” Merc says, smiling.
“Because I can always be myself with you,” I murmur.
“Because you make me feel like the luckiest man in the universe,” Jupiter concludes.
“Venus, you are brilliant, brave, stubborn, and so fucking clueless. I love you. We all love you,” Saturn asserts and we all shake our heads in agreement. Zahra’s eyes fill with tears as we all get down on one knee. “Will you be our media naranja, love?”
Saturn opens a box, and nestled in the center is a ring cut with every gemstone imaginable. The rainbow of crystals creates prisms of colorful light to bounce around the room and Zahra’s breath catches. Next to it is a crescent-shaped brooch studded with opals. Beside the brooch is a golden bracelet with sphinxes at the ends, their held-hands the clasp. Brilliant sapphires form their eyes. Lastly, there’s a silver ouroboros pendant with a shiny black onyx behind it. The serpentine form is swallowing its tail, symbolizing our eternal love.
“They’re beautiful. Before I answer, what does everything mean?” she asks.
“We already know you’re going to say yes,” Saturn says arrogantly.
“Maybe,” Zahra teases.
“The crescent with opals is obviously for Lina. We know now she lacked her balance and thank you for being better than us. We would have just killed her, but that’s not your way. You found a way to, not only spa
re her life, but bring her a new one. The sphinxes are because you constantly talk in riddles and we never understand you. And the onyx ouroboros is for many things, but mainly to express our undying love. Like this circle, it will never end. The onyx is for Lilith and while she may be Moon’s balance and Goddess of Darkness and the Taboo, you are our balance and our little Goddess of Freaky Sex. It’s to remind you of all you have done for us. Now, say you’ll marry us,” Saturn directs imperiously.
“Fine, but under one condition,” Zahra bargains.
“Anything,” Jupiter agrees the same time Mars says ‘what’ suspiciously.
Zahra just laughs.
“You all take my last name.”
“Deal,” Jupiter easily agrees.
“Deal,” Sunny says.
“Of course, you agree, her last name means ‘of the sun’,” Merc snarks. “But. . . deal.”
“Deal,” Neptune throws in.
“Deal,” Pluto adds.
“Deal,” Mars and Saturn say at the same time.
Everyone turns to me, the rebellious brother who needs to be independent at all costs.
I cup our goddess’ face between my hands and stare into her magnificent teal eyes.
“Deal,” I declare, before sealing it with a kiss.
EPILOGUE
UNIVERSE
I behold the perfect pink form of the goddess Venus floating before me. Slowly, she wakes up and looks around. Even though she’s been here before, I know she does not recognize the place yet.
“Where am I?” she rasps.
“You’re dead,” I say, my voice echoing all around us.
I see her wince as she realizes where she’s at.
“Dead? DEAD?! How the hell did I die?!”
“You choked on a grape,” I supply helpfully.
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Are you telling me I waited sixty-two years to eat another freaking grape, and I suffocated on its sweet deliciousness?!”
“Pretty much.”
“Ugh,” she mutters in disgust. “The guys are never going to let me live this down.”
I chuckle because she’s right.
“Hey, I have a body this time!” she suddenly points out. “And look, I have my powers back!”
She waves her hand and an impressive teal penis appears where she once had a vagina.
“Last time, in the totality of your combined powers, you merged yourself with me. Besides, you can take the soul out of the human, but it would appear I can’t take the human out of you.”
“Nope,” she mutters distractedly, as she plays with her newly fashioned cock. “What about the others? Will I have to wait long for them?”
“No, remember time moves differently here. They will live out the rest of their lives on Earth for a few more years, devastated by your death, and they will rejoin us here.”
“I have to wait a few years-”
Shouts catch her attention as eight hulking men come into view, their godhoods and forms fully restored.
“Zahra!” Sun yells, running to her and pulling her into his arms.
He swings her in a wide circle before the giant Jupiter takes and wraps her in a gentle hug. I watch as she’s passed from god to god. In this private moment, their soul bonds are reformed and in the case of Saturn, Mercury, Uranus, and Neptune, they are formed from the vestiges of their human life together.
Venus glows with their love and the men are once more complete in their brotherhood.
“Zahra, why the fuck do you have a dick?” Mars suddenly roars, shaking the cosmic fabric of time and space with his loud words.
“Impressive, hmm? I can finally bend you over that barrel.”
“What barrel?” Mercury asks.
“That one!” Venus points out helpfully to an old barrel labeled A & W, sitting some distance off.
“You just had to give her back her powers,” Pluto groans to me.
As Venus manifests herself a ninja costume that still allows her cock to be free, I question my actions.
“Children, enough,” I order, as I turn Venus back to her womanly form.
She pouts, but is distracted by her men clamoring around her to shower her in their affection.
“I have a job for you all,” I tell them.
“Yes?” Venus asks. “Wait, can we have sex here? I mean, will you see? I mean, theoretically, as the Universe, you’re everywhere and always see us banging, so-”
Mars slaps a familiar hand over her mouth.
“Let the ‘Verse speak,” Sun directs the talkative goddess.
“As I was saying, I have a job for all you Majors. I want you to seed new worlds for me.”
“Seed? Like metaphorically using sex or literally using real seeds?” Venus wonders.
The twins groan.
“Neither, the Universe means it wants us to create new worlds.”
“I knew that,” Venus sasses.
“Yes, you are free to make new realms; the only stipulations being that they connect to your original creation in the third dimension and that they are balanced.”
“They have to connect to Earth? Do you think that wise?” Venus wonders.
“Don’t question the Universe,” Saturn commands.
“Fine, whatever, but total chaos doesn’t sound like balance to me,” she snarks and I grin.
“A little chaos is needed to bring balance sometimes, my child.”
I grin thinking that’s exactly what my Venus is, chaotic.
“You may begin,” I urge.
“Oooo, this is going to be fun!” Venus chortles in excitement. “I’m going to make a rainbow world, and a food world, and. . . Oh! A Tarot world!”
“A rainbow world?!” Mars despairs. “Fine, but you heard the Universe, you need to balance it. So don’t forget the colors black, white, and shit brown.”
“And fifty shades of me,” Mercury jokes.
“Ugh, you guys are totally ruining my world!”
“Balance,” I remind the wayward goddess.
“Ah, fine! Oh, Arawn, you can create an actual fae realm where they aren’t moldy assholes! And Mio, you can create hell since you’re the devil.”
“Har-har,” Pluto feigns. “And I’m the God of Death, I should be the one to create hell.”
“No! You are making a real fairy world with goblins, trolls, elves, and fae. Oh, oh! And add some dwarves and other creatures, like nice ogres! Oh, oh! Make it a fairy tale realm!”
“Fine,” he snaps. “But it’s a fairy tale hell.”
Venus pouts.
“Don’t worry, carina, I will make you a demon world,” Mercury assures.
“Remember your balance,” she cautions loftily. “Angels are a demon’s balance.”
“Alright,” Mercury concedes. “But the Angels are the assholes.”
“Ahhh, they’re ruining the worlds!” Venus wails and we all laugh at her.
She perks up again when she says, “Illu, you can make real mermaids! Nice ones, for the love of us!”
“We’ll see,” is all she gets from him.
“You have the rest of eternity to make these new worlds. Have fun and remember the rules,” I advise. “If you do not, then I will be forced to intervene. And most of all, don’t forget to add your love to the realms.”
“Oh, we will!” Venus promises. “Oh my god, I can finally make a Hogwarts!”
All the gods moan and shake their heads.
“I promised the Elements a school to teach them magic!”
“Actually, I think that is a good idea,” I support.
Venus preens.
“Thank you, Universe. And I was teasing about the Hogwarts part. Sort of. Not really, but how about an academy for other magical beings to learn about their magic? Oh, oh! And creatures from our other realms can go there to learn how to act on Earth! That way we don’t fuck up the third dimension. And the Minors can teach there!”
I grin at her excitement and need to protect the third dimension.
“Wow, thank you! But can we name it Zahra’s Badass Realm of Badassness?”
“No,” the gods and I say in unison.
“Party poopers,” she mutters under her breath. “What about Moon? You did say all Majors, right?”
“I did,” I agree. “Moon will seed her own worlds, but only after her human reincarnation ends. I know she will do well with you as her champion and protector.”
“Funny how I became someone’s champion whose asshole I fisted,” Venus comments. “Well, someone needs to look out for the Bitchhole. Her bad attitude will get her killed faster than a cheetah chasing down a lame-ass antelope.”
“You sure you want her creating worlds?” Uran asks, referring to the Goddess of Love and Venus flips him a pink finger.
“I’m sure,” I confirm. “And do not worry about Moon. She has her Nodes to protect her.”
“Those Siamese fucks? I hope they got an attitude adjustment, too.” Venus snaps.
“They did, I promise. Now go forth, my children. Bless everything you touch with your purity and goodness.”
“Pft, I think she’s got us confused for some other Majors,” Venus mocks whispers to the others.
“It’s your love that makes you so wholesome,” I explain.
“Well, we definitely have that,” she asserts.
“We certainly do,” Sun agrees and they each place a kiss against Venus’ head.
Talking a million miles per minute, Venus dives back into describing her realms and they walk off into the distance, disappearing. Venus’ laughter floats back to me. She is their balance and will make sure they create lightness in their dark worlds; just as I created her to be the light to their darkness.
THE BEGINNING
CHARACTER CHART
Human Form
God Form
Nyambe Soley (Nyam)
Sun
12th Dimension Realm of Luminous Spheres
Ermio Mercoledi (Mio)
Mercury
11th Dimension
Realm of Ambience
Selina (Lina)
Moon
10th Dimension
Realm of Jewels