Between Us

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Between Us Page 13

by Jen McLaughlin


  I knocked on the door, my heart racing faster than a fucking NASCAR racecar. I stood there, staring at the wood door. When it opened, my gaze fell on her flushed cheeks and messy hair. She didn’t have on any makeup, and she wore a cowboy hat, a pair of jean shorts, a plaid shirt, and cowboy boots.

  She’d never looked more gorgeous.

  “Hi,” I said.

  She blinked at me. “Hi.”

  “Why are you wearing a hat?”

  She pulled it off and tossed it behind her. “I was about to leave.”

  “Oh. Well, we need to talk.” She didn’t step out of the way, but she didn’t close the door in my face either. “Can I come in?”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she said, nibbling on her bottom lip.

  “I was wrong last night.” I leaned on the doorjamb, holding her gaze. “Please let me in?”

  For a second I thought she would say no. Her gaze dipped low, skimming over my ink and then going even lower. By the time her green eyes met mine again, I was sure she’d shut the door in my face. But then she stepped back, motioning me inside. “Look, I’m—”

  “Wait. Let me talk first.” I walked inside, closing the door. I tossed my phone on the table out of habit. It was time to man up and be completely honest. To tell her how I felt. For better or worse, she needed to know. “I wrote you a song, and I was going to sing it to you like I said I would last night, but I changed my mind. Instead, I’m going to tell you this: I want to love you.”

  I BLINKED at Austin, doubting my hearing. Had he just told me he wanted to love me? Who said something like that? You either loved someone or you didn’t. You didn’t want to try to love someone or have to guess at it.

  It just happened—at least, I think that’s how it worked.

  And I still couldn’t believe he was here. I’d been getting ready to go to the bar to find him, despite the media frenzy it would cause, because I couldn’t leave without letting him know how I felt. I’d never felt so deeply for a guy before. He’d changed me, for the better, and I’d wanted to let him know that.

  But then he had called me.

  “Wait. What?” I rubbed my eyes, wondering if I’d dozed off or something. “What are you trying to say?”

  “I don’t know.” He yanked on his collar. “Fuck.”

  He paced in front of me, restless energy rolling off of him with each step. He wore a Redskins hat, a black T-shirt, and jeans paired with a pair of dark blue kicks. In other words, he looked like the Austin I’d come to know and care about.

  But…he’d walked away from me yesterday. He’d been the one ready to throw it all away. He’d been the one who left. Now he was here, talking about wanting to love me? “I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head. “Why do you want to love me?”

  “Let me start over. I had all these people at my show tonight. Tons, actually. And I sang a new song. A song I wrote after I walked away yesterday. I couldn’t sleep last night. Couldn’t rest. Couldn’t stop thinking about what we could have been.” He dragged his hands down his face. “I know it’s crazy, and I know we had a rough start. But I can’t shake the feeling that you’re the one. And I’ll be damned if I’ll let you be the one who got away, too.”

  I let out a weird, strangled sound. He didn’t need to say another word. I was his if he wanted me. No questions asked. No hesitation. I was in. “Austin…”

  “I know I hurt you.” He dropped his hands and approached me, his eyes open and vulnerable and so beautifully blue that it hurt to look at him. He stopped directly in front of me. “I know thinking we can make this work is fucking stupid and impetuous—some might even call it a daydream. But I can’t let you go without a fight. I think, if you let me, I could love you so damn good. I could make you happy, and you’ll save me from myself. Just say yes. Just give me another chance.”

  “Yes. So much yes.”

  Before I could say another word, he closed his hands around my shoulders and kissed me, his mouth fitting mine perfectly. I gripped his biceps, holding on tight so he’d stay right where he was. I didn’t want to lose him again.

  His words rang in my head. He wanted to love me? Really love me? How could I say no to that, when I felt the same way about him? We might not have known each other for long, but he knew more about me than most of the people in my life.

  And I knew him, too.

  He broke off the kiss, gasping for air. “Really? You’ll give us a shot?”

  “Heck yeah. I can’t imagine not giving us a shot, Austin.” He went for my mouth again, but I gave him my cheek. “Wait. I’m so sorry for flying off the handle like that.”

  “I know.” He kissed my forehead. “We both said things we shouldn’t have last night, but what matters is we’re here now. We’re committed to one another now, and that’s all that we need. Together, we can make this work. I know it.”

  I nodded. “I agree completely. But I have to tell you something. I know who actually did it.”

  He tensed. “Who was it? I’ll kick his fucking ass.”

  “One of Quinn’s new guy’s so-called friends.” I shrugged. “He heard her talking about me and then followed us out to the cove.”

  “Fucker.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I was about to come to your bar and see if you could maybe give me another chance. That’s why I was wearing the hat. I was going to try to sneak out the back.”

  A smiled played at his mouth. “You were going to come to me?”

  “I was.” I cupped his face, resting my thumb over his chin dimple. “I’ll always come for you, no matter what.”

  He hugged me tight. “I’m so fucking happy right now. I was scared you’d have left already, and that I’d never see you again. Why haven’t you left?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “It’s not Quinn’s and Cassie’s fault that someone sold me out. Why punish them by making them leave early? If I had left, they would have insisted on coming with me for support. There’s no doubt about it, and I didn’t want to ruin their vacation because I’d been found out by a dick with a camera.”

  “Mac.” He shook his head and a smile slowly spread across his face. “You’re fucking amazing. You know that, right?”

  I placed my hands on his chest. He tried to kiss me again, but I avoided his mouth. I wanted that kiss, and I would gladly accept it, but there were some things that had to be said first. “Wait. Not yet. You had your turn to talk, so now it’s my turn.”

  “Fine.” He rested his forehead on mine. “If you say something that breaks what little heart I have left, I’m still not leaving. I’m going to make you love me, even if it takes fifty years.”

  I let out a little laugh. “I highly doubt it’ll take that long.” I licked my lips, watching as his eyes went wide. “God, I missed you so much. It’s only been less than a day, but it felt like a freaking year without you here. Did it feel the same for you?”

  “Like ages and ages of despair.” He lifted his face to the ceiling, grinning wide. “And now I’m in fucking heaven. We can do this. We’ll make it work. I know you have to go back to college, but we can do long distance. There’s FaceTime and email and texts—”

  “Nope.” I pressed my fingers to his mouth, cutting off his torrent. “We don’t have to do that. Either you and Rachel can come with me, or I’ll transfer down here.”

  The smile I loved so much faded away. “I can’t make Rachel move. I promised her she could graduate with her friends, and I’m not breaking any more promises to her.” He cupped my face, his solemn eyes on me. “And I can’t make you change your college just for me. I would never ask that of you.”

  I held on to his forearms. “I respect that about you, that you won’t ask me to change my whole life for you. But I think you’re going to become the biggest thing in my life, Austin. I can feel it. Here.” I let go of him and pressed a hand to his heart. It sped up under my touch. “How about this for a compromise? I’ll finish up the school year in Chicago. But then, if we’re still fe
eling this way? If we’re still serious about us? I’m coming down here, to be with you.”

  He laid his hand over mine, holding it even closer to his chest. “If we feel this way, and I have no doubt we will, then I agree with your plan. I just don’t want you to rush through these decisions.”

  “I’m not rushing through anything.” I grinned up at him. “But this is us, and I know it’s real. The way you make me feel…I’ve been singing about it for years. I never believed it was real. Never believed in this.”

  “And now you do?” he asked, tilting my face up to his. His lips hovered over mine, so close and yet not close enough. “Is that what you’re saying?”

  “Now I do, because of you.”

  He kissed me again, his hands roaming. Desire and need surged through my body, but it was so much more than that. There was a deeper emotion tied to it. One that I suspected would one day become love.

  I hoped I never got used to the way he made me feel. Or of the way he made my whole body tingle, as he ran his calloused hands over me. The way he stole my breath away, without even trying. This was what I sang about. This was the thing of songs, poems, and books. This just might be love already.

  He pressed me back against the wall, melding his body against mine with a groan. I could feel his erection pressing against me. And all those muscles…

  God, I needed him so bad.

  He ended the kiss, trailing his mouth down my neck. When he nipped the skin at the base of my neck, I shuddered and raked my nails down his back. His hands fell on my shorts, ripping them open, and I undid his pants. No words were needed. We’d already said them. This was all we needed now.

  Each other.

  My shorts fell to the floor, and I kicked out of them. My boots were still on, but who gave a damn? All that mattered was him, inside of me. He stepped out of his pants and shoes, then peeled off his gray boxer briefs. When he dropped to his knees, I gulped in a breath of air. “Austin.”

  “You look so fucking perfect,” he said.

  He ripped open a condom packet, his eyes on me the whole time. Once he finished putting it on, he ran his fingers over the small patch of curls above my core, and I shivered. When he slid his hand under my left leg, lifting it and looping it over his shoulder, I knew I was a goner. “Hurry. Please.”

  He growled. “Hold on tight, sweetheart.”

  “Gladly.” I nodded frantically. “As long as you want me to. Forever.”

  His eyes darkened, and then he was on me. I dug my nails in his shoulders, holding on as he closed his mouth over me, flicking his tongue over my clit. My entire body came to life, all the nerves centering on that one spot within me.

  The spot he brought to life with each roll of his tongue. I dropped my head back against the wall, crying out. He pressed even closer, tasting me with such abandon that I could barely stand it. The pleasure was so freaking intense it might break me.

  “I…oh my God,” I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut. “Yes.”

  Everything broke inside me. My control. My restraint. Everything.

  I collapsed against the wall, thankful for the support. If not for his hands on me, I would have fallen to a puddle on the floor. He stood up, lifted me higher, positioned himself at my entry, and kissed me. I tasted myself on his tongue, which was more erotic than you could ever have possibly imagined it would be.

  And so incredibly hot.

  He thrust inside, hard and deep. I cried out, digging my nails into his back, and bit down on his shoulder. “Fuck, Mac.”

  He moved inside me, supporting my weight with his hands under my ass. The wall scraped my back, and I’d probably regret this tomorrow, but it was so worth it. He pulled out and then drove back in, over and over again, raising me higher and higher.

  When he pressed me harder against the wall, his hand closing on my breast and squeezing hard, I lost all control. My nails raked over him, anywhere I could, and I screamed out things I didn’t fully understand. It was rough, hard, and frantic…yet somehow it still managed to be so freaking meaningful it brought me to tears.

  I bit down on my lip, my whole body going numb as I came again, the world fading to black. He groaned and thrust inside me one more time, shuddering and dropping his head against the wall. The only sound in the room was our breathing, harsh and laborious.

  It was perfect.

  “Fuck,” he muttered, lifting his head and looking down at me with a furrowed brow. “Are you okay? I kind of lost control there at the end.”

  “It was perfect.” I kissed him, soft and tender. “Absolutely perfect. Tell me, how am I supposed to leave after that?”

  He grinned, his blue eyes blazing with happiness. “Fuck if I know.”

  “This last quarter better pass fast,” I mumbled, holding onto him as tightly as I could. “I don’t want to go back to Chicago. It’s cold and snowy there, and there’s no you. I’d rather just stay here with you.”

  “We can’t do that yet. You need time to clear your head. Time to make sure it’s what you really want.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “You can’t think clearly when I’m here asking you to try to fall in love with me. But I’ll be here waiting for you when the quarter is over, that much I can promise.”

  “I don’t need to go to college, you know. I just did it because I needed something to do besides music. I had nothing else to focus on.” I rubbed my nose into his shoulder, inhaling his scent. “I could focus on you. It would be a heck of a lot more fun.”

  He snorted. “Tempting, but nope. I’m not derailing your life like that. I’m not a subject you can get a degree in. College…or no Austin.”

  “Well, that’s not fair. You aren’t going to college.”

  He shrugged. “I wasn’t when we met either. Non-negotiable, sweetheart. I’ll give you anything you want, but not that. You need to see it through. I won’t be the one who stops you or holds you back.”

  He kissed me, then stepped away, slowly letting my feet hit the ground again. I winced. Man, my legs hurt. Not to mention my back. “But—”

  “No buts.” He moved out of my reach, watching me from under those lashes that most women would kill to have. “I want to lift you up, not drag you down. Once the school year is over, we talk. Until then?” He crossed his arms. “I won’t budge on my stance. Not this time.”

  “You’re bossy,” I said, pouting.

  “I know. You like me that way,” he said, shooting me a cocky grin.

  “Psh.” But he was right about everything. I’d come this far. I couldn’t walk away from it all. And, darn it, I did like his cockiness. It was freaking hot. “Fine. But I’m coming down a lot. Like, as much as possible.”

  “That’s acceptable.” He yanked me into his arms.

  “Good,” I said, burying my face in his chest. “I can’t imagine not being with you, even after this short of a time. This is crazy, isn’t it?”

  “Certifiably insane. Oh, and you are invited to my house for pizza tomorrow.” He twisted his lips. “Rachel wants to meet you, officially.”

  I grinned, excited to meet the girl I’d heard so much about. “I’d love to come over. She doesn’t hate me for dragging her into the spotlight?”

  “Hell no. She loves you too much for that.” He kissed the top of my head, but his fingers tightened on me. “Just so you know, my house is small. Like, ridiculously so. I bought it with what little money I could scrape together when I came back, and I’ll be paying the mortgage on it till I die, more than likely. We don’t have a lot of land or—”

  I kissed him, cutting him off. When he stopped talking and started kissing, I broke it off and cupped his face. “I don’t care if it’s a shack in the middle of the stream. I’ll love it because it’s yours.”

  His eyes warmed over, and he grinned. “Good. Because it’s a part of me, and you’re stuck with me now, whether or not you like it.”

  I rose up on tiptoe and kissed his dimple, just like I’d wanted to do when we first met. Had that really only been day
s ago? It felt as if he’d been in my life…well, forever. “Even when I leave?”

  “Especially then.” He hugged me so tight I gasped for breath, and I loved every second of it. “I’ll be here. Waiting for you. I’ll always be waiting for you.”

  “And I’ll always be yours.”

  I giggled when he licked my neck, then nibbled on my skin. As long as he was mine and I was his, we could do anything. And I knew, deep down to the bottom of my soul, this would be my happy ending. This is what little girls hoped for, as they grew up watching all those fairy tales. This was real.

  And I couldn’t be happier.

  Three months later

  I TUGGED my cowboy hat lower, watching the man on the small stage. He was singing in a way that made my whole body tingle and come to life. He had a one-of-a-kind voice, the kind that stayed with you forever and ever and never let you go. It was like an orgasm for your ears. He was that good.

  And he was all mine.

  Women all over the room watched him, but he didn’t even look down at them. His eyes were closed. He sang so clearly. So perfectly. He strummed his guitar, playing the last chords for the song he’d written for me. I made him sing it to me in bed every once in a while. It was too gorgeous not to. I’d written lots of songs, but I’d never had one written for me.

  He leaned into the mic again.

  “You came into my life, never knowing what you’d do.

  Not knowing that by the time you were done, I’d feel you through and through.

  Love isn’t something you can buy or steal.

  It’s something you have to fight to feel…

  And I never have, until you.”

  He played the last three chords, then stood there, his eyes shut for a minute. I feasted my eyes on him before I crept backward, out the door. That was his last song. It was always his last song. And I had to exit before he saw me. He didn’t know I was here, and I wanted to keep it that way. It was a surprise.

 

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