by Maria Arnt
30
Before she passed out for the day, Tanya made a stop at Beatrice’s door. She knocked softly, and it was a long time before the older vampire answered. It was dark in her room.
“Tanya? Are you okay?” She looked her over carefully but stayed behind her door.
“Yeah,” Tanya rubbed her wrists, still sore from repeated practice and demonstration. “He’s still pissed, and so am I, but we’re just training.”
Beatrice looked confused and still a little scared.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for calling you a coward,” Tanya said quietly. “It’s bad enough when he’s like that to me, you shouldn’t have to get caught up in it.”
At this, she smiled wearily. “It’s ok. I am a coward, it’s how I’ve survived.”
Tanya nodded. “Besides, how’s it go? Blessed are the meek, for they shall...” She screwed up her face, trying to remember the rest of the beatitude.
“Inherit the Earth,” Beatrice finished with a self-effacing laugh. “No, thank you.”
“Yeah, I think I’ll pass on the meek bit,” Tanya agreed, and brought out the blackjack to show off. “Seth is letting me use weapons now.” She tossed it in the air, catching it. “Got a good hit in on him, too, before he was expecting it.”
To her surprise, Beatrice blanched. “I thought... Isn’t he teaching you self-defense?” she asked, mystified.
“Well yeah, for starters.” Tanya frowned. “But the end goal is to get me killing vampires again.”
Beatrice pursed her lips, clearly disapproving. “You’re going after whoever killed Justin, aren’t you.”
Tanya sighed and rolled her eyes. “Beatrice, this is what I do. It’s what I did before I got changed and I’m sure as hell not letting that stop me.”
Unconvinced, she shook her head. “It’s one thing when you’re protecting yourself. Or someone else. But to intentionally kill someone, even a vampire, that’s murder, Tanya.”
“He killed Justin first!” Tanya argued.
“And someday, when he meets his end, he’ll have to answer to that. But to God, Tanya, not to you!”
“Someday?” Tanya scoffed. “Beatrice, this guy is a Master. If he’s ever gonna die, it’s because somebody kills him.”
She frowned. “Who is it?”
“Some guy named Johnny the Fox.”
If it was possible, Beatrice went even paler and seemed speechless.
“I take it you know him?” Tanya guessed.
She shook her head. “I know of him. Everyone in this town does. Tanya, if Master Johnny dies, there will be chaos in Chicago. It will create a power vacuum, and the other Masters will fight for control, possibly even someone from another place. Maybe even...” she choked on the words, too afraid to say them.
Tanya put a steadying hand on her friend’s arm. “Michael isn’t coming here,” she assured her. “I hadn’t thought about the control issue, but now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure Seth intends to step into that gap.”
Beatrice frowned. “Then why doesn’t he kill him? It would be much easier that way. Master Johnny...” she shook her head. “He’ll kill you. Easily.”
Tanya considered telling her. She’d find out eventually, but she was pretty certain Beatrice wouldn’t like it. “I’m going to knock him out, tie him up, and then drain him,” she said simply.
Her face went blank as she realized the implications. “To take his power.”
“Yes,” Tanya agreed.
Something closed in Beatrice’s expression. She stared at Tanya for a long moment, as if seeing her for the first time. “It’s late,” she said. “The sun will be up soon.”
Stung by the clear dismissal, Tanya took a step back. “Sleep well.”
Beatrice closed the door quietly. She might as well have slammed it, for all the finality it imparted.
Tanya spent the next few nights perfecting the piano wire trick. She figured it would be much harder to get the blackjack strike right, so once she got the chance she had better have the second part down pat. She rolled up a couple t-shirts and practiced on them for a while, then when she was a little more confident she tried it on her ankles. Once she thought she could do it in her sleep, she started shooting for shorter and shorter times. Every second counted, and the fewer she used up on restraining Johnny—or Seth—the better.
Seth largely left her alone during the process. He would check in on her occasionally, and she would demonstrate her progress—always on herself. He wasn’t eager to give her another chance at him so easily.
Beatrice left her alone entirely, only appearing on Sundays when she returned from Mass. Tanya was content to let her stew. It wasn’t like they were about to send her back to Michael Adler, so she was just going to have to deal with it.
The other half of practice didn’t go quite so smoothly. Fighting Seth was just so frustrating. Not only did he make no effort to match her skill level, he seemed to revel in his constant triumphs over her. His smug attitude was infuriating, and she tended to get sloppy when she was angry.
Besides that, it rubbed her the wrong way to start a fight with her opponent already in the know. She was accustomed to doing everything she could to give herself the element of surprise. A fair fight is a stupid fight, her dad had told her once, and it was advice she lived by.
Unfortunately, it was extremely difficult to get the drop on Seth. She might get one chance, first thing in the evening, but thereafter he was constantly on guard, often sitting with his back to the wall or where he could face the only entrance to a given room. It was driving her up the wall.
So she wasn’t terribly surprised when he showed up at her door one evening dressed to go out, her coat in hand.
“You need to feed,” he said bluntly. “Your focus is slipping, and I doubt you are in the mood for the alternative.”
She snatched the coat from him. “Fine. But I’m going alone.”
Seth’s eyebrows shot upwards. “Really? Alright then, it’s about time I didn’t have to babysit you.”
Tanya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wouldn’t let him get her riled up. “I will need a car and some money,” she said through clenched teeth.
“Here’s a twenty,” he fished the bill out of his money clip, “that should be enough for a cover no matter where you go. Which car would you like?”
“The Jag,” she answered immediately. It was by far the coolest car Seth owned, and she knew there was no way he would loan it to her.
He gave her an impressed grin. “Excellent choice.” He turned and went down the stairs, heading for his study.
Tanya followed after, bewildered. She put her coat on slowly, wondering who she was talking to and if she could shake their hand for offing the prick who had made her life miserable. As she passed Beatrice’s door, it opened.
“Where are you going?” she asked in a whisper.
Oh, now you want to talk to me. “Out. I need to feed. Figure I’ll give this a try on another goon like Smythe.”
“Tanya, don’t, please,” Beatrice begged. “If you absolutely must feed, please don’t kill, you’ve fed off humans and they’ve lived before...”?“Not on my own,” she countered. “And I am not going out with Seth. You gonna come along and stop me when I drink too much?”
As expected, Beatrice shrank back in the doorway. “Please, think about what you’re doing.”
“Whatever,” Tanya rolled her eyes and went down the stairs.
Seth came back out and tossed her the keys. “Have fun. Tank’s full so you shouldn’t need to refill if you don’t go too far from Logan Square.”
She stood blinking at his affable grin. There was something more going on—there was always something more with Seth—but she couldn’t tell what. And that worried her. “Alright,” she said slowly. “I’ll be back before midnight.”
He waved his hand towards the garage. “No rush. Sun’s not up until after seven, and some fresh air would do you good.”
Ah. With
that, she finally caught the game. He knew she was trying to piss him off, and he’d sabotaged the effort by pretending to be perfectly onboard with the idea. This left her no room to object without either seeming crazy or reinforcing the idea that he did need to follow her around everywhere.
“Okay, thanks!” She returned his smile and left. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Professor Walker. The Jaguar roared to life beneath her, and she set off into the city alone, for the first time.
It didn’t take Tanya very long to discover the flaw in her plan: she had no idea where she was going. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t paid closer attention when they were out before, but lately Seth had been taking really odd routes anyway. Trying to shake Shiro, she realized sadly.
Giving up on remembering consciously, she tried going for instinct. She drove mindlessly, turning when it felt right, and putting most of her focus on the traffic at hand. At last, she pulled into a parking lot.
With a sigh of resignation, she looked up at the garish neon sign. Love’s. Great. Maybe if she was lucky, she could find some scum of the earth to trail and play the hero for an unsuspecting patron. At least the cover was only five bucks.
Once inside the door, she scanned the costumed crowd, looking for any real vampires. There were plenty of fakes to be had, with plastic fangs and ridiculous Halloween costumes. But under the thick white makeup and fake blood, they were all too human. She did need to feed, and the sound of their heartbeats was slowly driving her mad. On top of that, Beatrice’s arguments had started to weigh on her conscience. Maybe she should just go for a human instead, and try to be careful.
After an hour of wandering aimlessly through the crowd, she was about ready to give up. Maybe if she just sat down somewhere and watched the door, it would be easier. It was pretty packed tonight, but eventually she spotted an open spot across guy about her age sitting alone in a booth, with his computer open in front of him. He had short brown hair and glasses and looked completely out of place.
Taking a deep breath, she slid into the seat opposite him. “Hi. Mind if I sit here?”
“Hi, go ahead.” He looked up from his work, surprised.
“You do your homework here?” She gestured to the computer, taking in the Loyola hoodie he wore. He didn’t look like the usual fare, and she guessed he might be a donor.
He laughed. “Not usually. I was supposed to meet a friend here, but she texted to change plans after I got here. Seemed stupid to go all the way back to the library.”
She smiled. “I’m Tanya.”
“Shaun,” he reached across the table to shake hands with her.
“So, um. I’m guessing you don’t come for the ambiance?” She jerked her head towards the crowd.
“Nah, there’s a group of us that hangs here for shits and giggles. Although I don’t think I’ve run into you before,” he studied her carefully.
“I’m new,” she said. Taking a risk, she leaned into the light cast by the overhead lamp.
Recognition flashed across his face, and his smile faltered. “I can see that.” She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. So he was a donor, and probably pretty experienced. It might be enough to keep him alive if she didn’t have to trance him first.
“So, what do you say we ditch the circus and go... um... have dinner?” She suggested, suddenly feeling awkward.
He considered it for a long moment. She listened to his rapid heartbeat, trying to decide if it was caused by fear or something else.
“Sure, why not,” he closed his laptop and stowed it. “It’s been too long, and finals are really stressing me out. Do you want me to call a cab?”
“I drove,” she offered, blinking rapidly. She hadn’t expected it to be that easy. He gestured for her to lead the way and they waded out through the press of bodies to the parking lot.
Shaun whistled appreciatively when he saw the Jaguar Coupe.
“Cool yeah?” Tanya laughed. “Sadly, it’s not mine.”
“Dude, your Master must be loaded,” he joked as he slid into the passenger seat.
“He’s also a dick.” She started the car. “But yeah, he’s got good taste.”
Shaun gave her a winning smile. “I knew that already,” he teased.
To her surprise, she blushed. “Where to? I’ve got like fifteen dollars, sorry. Short leash.”
He stared a moment. “You’re actually gonna buy me dinner?”
“Um, yeah? Only seems fair, right?” She laughed nervously.
“You don’t do this often, do you?” He guessed.
She sighed. “First time solo.”
“Wow. You are new.” Now he seemed nervous too. “How new?”
“Um, three months?” Her voice came out a lot higher pitch than she meant it to. “Four, if you count while I was out.”
He laughed incredulously.
“What?”
“The last time I had a bite,” he said slowly, “you were human.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve had about a dozen good feeds. No complaints. Although the first one did pass out,” she offered.
“Not surprised. How many failures?”
Her breath hitched. Why did he have to be so blunt about it? “One.” She decided not to tell him about the vampire she had killed.
“Hey, no need to get cut up about it,” he laid a hand on her arm. “That’s a really great record, Tanya. You’re doing great.”
“Thanks.” She smiled weakly.
“I tell you what, I know a great burger joint not far from there. Buy me a milkshake, and I’ll make an effort to forget what a baby you are.”
She laughed and put the car in reverse. “Lead the way, then!”
Dinner was nice. Shaun ordered a lot of food and put it in the middle of the table, so no one noticed that Tanya wasn’t eating. They talked about college, cars, and their hometowns—his was in Indiana. He made it feel like a really nice first date.
But that started to worry Tanya. At a lull in the conversation, she finally brought it up. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here.” She laughed nervously. “I’m um... I’m not going to sleep with you, you know that right?”
Shaun nearly choked on his milkshake and then laughed. “No! I mean yes, I know that. I keep forgetting you’re new, you seem so... normal. Most baby vamps are really twitchy, you know, like every new sound freaks them out.”
“I guess I had really good training,” she admitted reluctantly.
“But no, we’re not shacking up.” He put a hand over hers and grinned. “You’d probably kill me at this point. But don’t worry. What you’re offering, it’s way better.”
She frowned. “Really?”
He tilted his head to the side. “Weren’t you ever bitten?”
She fingered the scar on the inside of her elbow. “Yeah... it... wasn’t a good experience.”
“Oh.” He squeezed her hand. “They weren’t aiming to keep you alive, were they? I’m sorry. No one’s ever tried that on me, but I’ve heard from others. It’s not the same thing at all, it’s like... being raped. I’m really sorry to hear that happened to you.”
Tanya blinked back tears. “Thank you. You don’t know what it means to have someone say that.”
They were quiet a while as Shaun ate the last of his fries. “What about when you were made?” he asked quietly.
“I... I don’t remember,” she said. It was true, to an extent. If biting was involved, she certainly had no memory of it.
He nodded thoughtfully. “Well, I don’t know if I can do it any justice, but I’ll try describing it for you. It’s like... Well, it’s a lot like sex actually. But it’s less... warm and sweet, and more of a rush. A junkie I once knew said it was like taking ecstasy, but better.”
“Never done that either.” She laughed. “But I think I know what you mean. It’s not that different from my end, I guess.”
He smiled. “I gotta admit, you’re the first vamp I’ve met who cared so much about it.”
She shrugged. “It’s complicated.”
“I like complicated,” he whispered conspiratorially.
Tanya chewed her lip a little. “You wanna go back to the car?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
When Shaun pulled his hoodie off in the Coupe, she was surprised to see he didn’t have much in the way of scars. A few cuts here and there, but they were more like what you would pick up working manual labor, like a mechanic or construction.
“Want to know my secret?” he asked, noticing her gaze. He pulled something from his pocket and slid his thumb up to reveal the blade of a retractable box cutter. “We’re not going to use your teeth, clean cuts heal better.” He fished out a piece of cardboard from his other pocket and used it to snap off the end of the blade, then drew the new edge back into the casing until only an eighth of an inch showed. “And it’s not as deep.”
“That’s... really smart,” she took the knife from him, turning it over in her hand.
“Keep it, it’s yours,” he suggested. “I’ve got like five others at work.”
“Thanks. So... where?”
He rolled up the sleeve of his t-shirt. “Right about where you’d get a flu shot. Inch and a half long should get you what you need, but it will be slow, and you’ll need to keep a good pull on it to keep it from closing up.”
She grinned. “Like a snakebite?”
He laughed. “You’re not actually supposed to do that, but yeah.”
Tanya took a deep breath. “Ready?”
“If you are,” he teased.
Carefully, she drew a short line with the blade on his arm. Shaun didn’t make a sound, but she saw his jaw clench tightly. Before she could apologize, the smell of his blood hit her nose and she pulled his arm towards her.
Shaun was right, it was slower. Much slower. So much so that she didn’t get lost in it, and stayed perfectly aware of everything around her. As the blood trickled down her throat, she listened to his rapid breathing, to the small moans he struggled to suppress. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him watching her, fascinated.
As soon as she thought she had enough to hold her over, she began to pull away. Shaun wove the fingers of his free hand into her curls and gently pressed her back towards him.