by Noelle Adams
It took far more effort than it should have for her to get those words out. Because the truth was she suddenly didn’t want him to have a good time.
She didn’t want him to go out with Kelly.
She wanted him to be here—looking like that—for her.
KELLY WAS SWEET AND smart and pretty, just as Serena had promised. They made easy, pleasant small talk as they met in front of the restaurant and went inside. The food was good, and nothing was off-putting about Kelly as they told each other about themselves and moved smoothly from books to movies to local politics.
In a different situation, Keith might have believed this was a decent first date and that it was worth another try to see if there was any potential in a relationship with her.
But by the time they finished dessert and were sipping coffee at the end of the meal, he was ready for the evening to be over.
Kelly was fine. Absolutely fine. As fine as anyone could hope for on a blind date. But she wasn’t Serena, and that was evidently an insurmountable roadblock for him.
He wished it weren’t the case. He wished he was more rational and realistic in his approach to romance. He knew a lot of guys who woke up one morning and decided it was time to get married and start a family, then looked around at available options and just picked one. That would be so simple. Easy. Practical. But the fact was simply this.
He wanted Serena, and he didn’t want anyone in the world who wasn’t her.
As he was thinking of some way to approach this reality with Kelly—tell her she was great, but he wasn’t really interested in moving forward even to a second date—she asked without warning, “Is this not working for you?”
He blinked. “What?”
“This.” She waved her hand to indicate the two of them. “The date. It seems like we’re getting along pretty well, but you don’t seem... I don’t know... into it.” She looked slightly self-conscious about her words, but she was clearly an honest and forthright person, and he appreciated it.
“I’m sorry,” he said with a long sigh. “You’re great. You really are. And I had a good time tonight. I guess I’m just not really in the right headspace to be dating right now.”
“Yeah. That’s what it seemed like.” She looked resigned and maybe just a little disappointed, but not resentful or upset. Her reaction made him like her even more. “Like you’re giving it a try, but you’re really emotionally unavailable.”
He gave a soft snort at the word choice. “I guess that’s one way to put it.”
“Is it Serena?”
He blinked three times in a row. “Is what Serena?”
“The problem. The holdup. The reason you’re emotionally unavailable.”
“Why would you ask that?” His words came out very slowly.
Kelly shrugged. “I don’t know. Just a guess. The way she always talks about you, I assumed you and her would end up together eventually. You just seem really close. Then she got this idea to fix me up with you, and I figured, hey, I must have been wrong. But now I’m not sure I was. It feels like I’ve stepped right in the middle of someone else’s romance.”
He groaned and leaned his head on his hand for a minute, trying to figure out how much he should say. He didn’t want to compromise Serena’s privacy. And he also didn’t want to express certain hopes he had that Serena herself wouldn’t approve of. But Kelly was being honest with him, and he wanted to be honest with her too.
“It’s complicated,” he finally concluded. “Really complicated. We’ve been friends for a long time, and when you’re that close to someone, it’s hard to feel a matching closeness with other people. But we’ll figure it out.”
Kelly nodded like the issue was decided, like she knew exactly what was happening now. “I’m sure you will. I know she had a really rough time with her ex, and that’s made it hard for her to move on. I hope you’ll be patient with her.”
“Of course I will. I’d never push her into anything.”
Kelly’s eyes searched his face for a moment before she gave another little nod. “I believe you. And to tell you the truth, I don’t even think it will take very long. She’s been really hurt, but she loves you like crazy. And pretty soon she’s going to realize exactly how much.”
Those words—from a woman who was almost a stranger to him—gave him more hope than anything had in ages.
MAYBE IT WAS THAT HOPE (or simply the fact that he’d missed her this evening), but when Keith got to his building, he went to Serena’s door instead of his own.
He hesitated a minute before he knocked. He shouldn’t. There was no reason to show up at her door right now. It was eleven thirty in the evening, and she usually went to bed by ten or eleven. He shouldn’t wake her up right now. Eva was at her father’s, so he wouldn’t disturb her, but still... He could tell Serena how the date went tomorrow morning. The best thing for him to do right now was go home and go to bed.
Instead, he rang her doorbell.
It wasn’t long before he heard movement from inside. Then the door swung open.
Serena stood in her pajamas, blinking at him, looking tousled and curvy and soft and delectable.
His heart gave a ridiculous lurch toward her. And the rest of his body gave a definite lurch as well.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, concern tightening on her face as she processed his presence.
“Nothing,” he said quickly. “There’s nothing wrong. Sorry if I woke you up. I was just going to report on my date.”
“Oh.” It took just a few seconds for relief to wash over her expression. She stepped aside to let him in. “You scared me.”
“Sorry about that.” He came into her entryway and tried to keep his gaze from dropping to her breasts, which were free and jiggling slightly and were unfortunately highly visible in her lavender tank top. “Did I wake you up?”
“No. I was in bed, but I wasn’t sleeping. I was actually wondering how things were going for you. It’s kind of early for the date to be over. Was it bad?”
“It’s not early. It was three hours, which is a perfectly normal length for a first date.” He wasn’t sure why he sounded defensive, but he did.
“Okay. So it was good then? Did you like her a lot?” Her voice cracked just slightly on the last word, but that was probably just because he’d gotten her out of bed.
“Yeah. I liked her.” Maybe it was mean and petty—it probably was—but he let the sentence linger in the air for longer than he should, just so he could gauge her reaction.
It was gratifying. He clearly saw a flash of something that looked a lot like jealousy on her face before she controlled it.
Surely it wasn’t wishful thinking. Surely he wasn’t making this up.
“That’s good then,” she mumbled. “I knew you would. So are you going to see her again?”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t think so.”
“Why not?” Serena had always been quicksilver like this, moving from one feeling to another, often without warning. “She’s amazing, and you said you really liked her!”
“I do like her. And she is great. But I already know there’s no potential for more there. And I’m not the kind of guy to string someone along when I know there’s no hope. It feels like a really crappy thing to do.”
“It is a crappy thing to do, and I know you’re not like that. But it’s just been the first date. You really know for sure there’s no potential?” Her eyes were big and wide and gray-green in the low light.
“I know for sure,” he said, his voice coming out thicker than it should. He absolutely couldn’t stop himself from taking a small step closer to her. “I know.”
She nodded and swallowed visibly and dropped her eyes. “Okay.”
In the silence that followed, she darted her gaze up a couple of times, like she was checking his expression and anxious about what she might see there.
Keith could only imagine how utterly besotted he must look right now, but that was something he couldn’t control.
“Serena,” he murmured after a minute. He remembered what Kelly had said earlier. Maybe he’d waited long enough. Maybe Serena was ready. She looked so soft right now. So warm and fond. Nervous but excitedly so.
She took a shaky breath and kept her eyes down. “What?”
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“Because I’m... I’m...”
“You’re what?” He took another step toward her, close enough to touch now. He was almost shaking from his attempt to restrain his hands.
“You’re looking...”
“I’m looking what?” He knew exactly how he was looking, but he wanted to see if she’d say it.
“And I’m...”
He waited. She was responding. He knew she was. Even her nipples had tightened beneath the thin fabric of her tank top.
She took another shaky breath and straightened her shoulders, meeting his gaze almost defiantly. “I’m not giving up on my mission.”
It felt like a slap—her shift in tone—but he only had himself to blame. Despite what Kelly had said earlier, he’d known it was too soon. She wasn’t ready to acknowledge anything changing between them. She needed more time, and if he was a decent person at all, he’d give it to her.
So instead of howling in outrage, he took a step back and gave his head a brief, wry shake. “I think it’s a losing quest, but I’ll play along if you want me to.”
“I do.” She gave him a smile that warmed his heart. “I want you to be happy, and I’m not going to give up until you are.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “Believe it or not, I want to be happy too.”
“Good. Then you’ll go out with the next girl I fix you up with.”
“I will. But I make no promises about better results.”
“We’ll see.”
“Yes. We’ll see.” He wanted to stay longer, but he knew he better not. His body was already far too interested in the way Serena looked in her pajamas, and his heart was far too invested in that intimate, affectionate look on her face. “Okay. I’ll let you get back to bed now.”
“Okay. Thanks for stopping by. You left things okay with Kelly?”
“Of course I did.”
“Good. Talk to you tomorrow.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest, as if she was suddenly conscious of the way her nipples were behaving right now.
Keith had been conscious of them the entire time.
“Good night, Serena.”
“Good night.”
He made himself turn around. Walk out the door. Close it behind him.
He was leaving unsatisfied, but he wasn’t unhappy or depressed or discouraged. At all.
In fact, he was more hopeful than he could ever remember being.
She was responding to him the way he wanted. She just needed more time.
And that was fine. He could give her that. He’d go out with more women if she needed him to, but he wasn’t giving up hope in the one woman that he wanted.
She might have a mission for him, but now he had a mission of his own.
And his was the mission that was going to make both of them happy in the end.
four
THREE WEEKS LATER, Serena was having a delightful evening with Eva and Keith.
He’d gone out with three other women she’d fixed him up with over the past few weeks—all as unsuccessful as his date with Kelly—but he’d said he needed a break from blind dates this weekend, so she’d put her mission on hiatus. He’d gotten tickets for a cute little spring musical put on by the community theater group. Intended for children, it featured fun, peppy songs. Eva had been thrilled by the chance to dress up and go out for the evening, and Serena was kind of excited too.
The audience was responsive and interactive, filled with other families who were enjoying the experience. Serena wore a pretty pale green dress, and Eva wore sky blue. Keith appeared to be having a good time too. He was smiling with his eyes even as he made funny, wry faces for Eva’s benefit and discoursed wisely about the stage setup and numbers in attendance, prompted by Eva’s many questions.
Serena laughed and clapped and slanted pleased glances at Eva’s happy face for the two hours of the performance, and she was on an emotional high as they filed out with the rest of the audience.
It was just after eight, which was nearing Eva’s bedtime, but she didn’t want the evening to end yet. When Keith suggested they stop at their favorite ice cream shop on the way home for a little dessert, it was perfect.
Eva was so ecstatic at the unexpected treat that she was wriggling with it in the back seat of the car. She might have had a little meltdown, as she sometimes did when she got too excited, but Keith distracted her by starting a serious debate about which of the fairies in Eva’s latest book series was the most powerful.
Their discussion was still going when they reached the ice cream shop, and Serena was laughing to herself about the utter sobriety with which both of them were handling the topic. Keith reached out to hold Eva’s hand as they crossed the street, and he put his other hand on Serena’s back. It wasn’t an inappropriate or unusual touch. Just the palm of his hand against the small of her back in an unconscious protective gesture.
But Serena was acutely conscious of it. The touch felt unexpectedly intimate.
And she didn’t want him to drop his hand.
It felt like they were a couple. A family. And it had been a long time since Serena had felt that way.
She told herself not to be silly. After all, Keith withdrew his hand as soon as they got inside. The place was fairly crowded at this time on a Saturday night, so they had to wait in line. No one seemed to mind. Eva switched to an earnest conversation on which flavor of ice cream and toppings they all were getting.
Since Eva couldn’t decide between chocolate brownie and birthday cake, Serena volunteered to get birthday cake so Eva could have some of both. Serena wasn’t actually a big fan of birthday cake flavor, but she wanted Eva to be perfectly happy tonight and not regret her choice. Then Keith ordered caramel coffee ice cream, which was what Serena would have chosen for herself.
He’d done it on purpose—so she could have some of his—and he’d done it so casually that she might have thought it was a coincidence if she didn’t know him so well.
She watched him discreetly as they found a little table to squeeze around in the far corner. He’d seemed happy all evening—almost as happy as Eva. There didn’t appear to be any clear reason for his good mood—since surely a kid’s musical and an ice cream outing weren’t on the top of his list of favorite things to do. But she could see a warmth brimming up inside him, threatening to spill over in his little smile and his brown eyes.
His chair was very close to hers. Partly because they didn’t have much room, but partly because he didn’t push his chair as close to the wall as it could go. He didn’t seem to notice or mind having their arms occasionally brushing against each other. He was watching Eva gobble down her chocolate brownie ice cream with impressive speed.
When she had less than a quarter of the ice cream left in her cup, she stuck it out toward Serena, who took it and offered Eva her own cup (filled with more than half the birthday cake ice cream). Without commenting, Keith reached for the brownie flavored and gave Serena his cup as a replacement.
Serena gave him an appreciative smile as she ate the half the caramel coffee ice cream Keith had saved for her.
He reached out and put an arm around her shoulders in a gentle half hug.
“What’s that for?” she murmured, turning her head to look up at him.
She hadn’t realized his face was so close to hers, but it was there. Right there. Her heartbeat quickened and her pulse throbbed.
“What’s what for?”
“The hug.” She drew her eyebrows together as she peered at him, trying not to wonder what it would feel like to kiss him.
Just kiss him. Right now. For no reason at all.
“You smiled at me like you wanted a hug,” he exp
lained mildly, pulling his arm back before it got awkward. “Didn’t you?”
“I... I don’t know.”
He chuckled and didn’t pursue the topic, which was a big relief to Serena. Had she really smiled at him like she wanted a hug? She wasn’t even sure such a smile existed, but maybe it did. Maybe she was accidentally smiling that way a lot.
Since Keith didn’t appear to think it was strange or inappropriate, she was able to shrug it off and enjoy the rest of the evening. They went home when they finished eating, and since it was after nine, Eva had to get ready for bed right away.
Keith stayed, so they all read Eva’s book chapter, and then Eva kissed both of them good night before they turned off the lights.
“Thank you, Uncle Keith,” Eva said as they were leaving the room.
He paused, standing at Serena’s side. “What for?”
“For everything. The play and the ice cream and the flowers and the fun. I had such a good time. Thank you!”
Serena saw Keith smile in the light of the hallway. “You’re welcome, Eva. I had a really good time tonight too.”
She couldn’t help it. Serena squeezed his arm as they left the bedroom and headed back to the living room. She moved to the large kitchen island where she’d put in vases the two bouquets Keith had brought them when he’d arrived this evening.
Eva’s were pink peonies, and Serena’s were pink tulips. She slid a finger across one of the delicate tulip petals.
“You have no idea how special you made tonight for Eva,” she said to Keith, who’d come up beside her and was leaning with his back against the island.
“I could tell she really enjoyed it. I’m glad.”
“You went above and beyond, and I don’t even know why.” She wanted to look at him, to see his expression, but she was also strangely nervous about it, so her gaze was a little skittish.
“Do I need to have a particular reason? I like it when she’s happy. And I like it when you’re happy. So why shouldn’t I make you both happy?” His voice had shifted to a textured murmur.