Also, what made her feel even more out of place was that she knew exactly why these visitors were at Gille Chriost. It weighed heavy on her heart. They hadn’t been introduced, but Deirdre told her who they were.
The old Laird was the Laird Brun, the older woman was his wife, Lady Brun, and the young woman was Lady Beitris… Fionnghall’s future wife. She was young and beautiful, her hair was fair and strawberry-blonde. She was dressed in green, as it was clearly the color of her clan, just as purple was the color of Gille Chriost.
Deirdre had told her that the upcoming marriage had been arranged by their father and Laird Brun a long time ago. An arranged marriage was a lifelong commitment—things weren’t any different back in England. He was to marry the daughter of Laird Brun to keep the peace between clans and to increase the prosperity of both.
Marion felt something stuck in her throat and she tried to swallow it down. Her eyes started stinging and she was fighting back the tears that were moistening her eyes.
How could I have been so stupid? To fall in love with the Laird who is promised to someone else. I know better than this! There is no one else but myself to blame for this pain and grief.
She took a quick gulp of wine to hide the tears that were pushing through despite her hard efforts to keep them down.
Suddenly, Marion heard her own name mentioned by Fionnghall at the end of the table. She looked up and saw a displeased expression on Lady Beitris’ face. Laird Brun shot a sharp glance at Marion and she pressed her head down.
“Do you know what they are talking about?” she asked Deirdre, who was also looking in the direction of the visitors.
“Nah, though it doesnae look like a pleasant conversation,” Deirdre responded and took a bite of her lamb.
Sitting through the feast was torture. Marion was weighing her options and trying to fight back the stubborn tears that weren’t going to let up. She kept cursing herself for letting her feelings get in the way. She came to Scotland to look for her parents, not fall in love!
In the past days, looking for her parents had been in the back of her mind, whereas her heart was set on seeing Fionnghall as often as possible. How could she have been so naïve as to think that something might happen between them? Something more than last night, that is.
“Jack, dae ye ken how long they are goin’ to stay?” Deirdre asked Jack, who was sitting on the other side of her.
“Nah, but I hope it won’t be long. There is nothin’ more boring and tedious than tryin’ to please Laird Brun,” he said.
Lady Beitris looked Marion directly in the eyes for a second that felt like forever. Marion felt the urge to press her eyes down, but she reminded herself that she was a Lady, too.
So, I’d better start acting like one.
Marion finally suppressed the tears that had been moistening her eyes.
12
The Heart Doesn’t Get An Opinion
When Marion was younger, her mother had taught her over and over again that a Lady must think of her people first. The prosperity and well-being of the people must always be put ahead of oneself, no matter the cost. She had never really understood the meaning until now when she had to make a choice between being selfish, or putting Fionnghall and his people first.
To seek his presence and to keep loving him would be selfish. He was engaged to Lady Beitris and nothing was going to change that. No matter how much she loved him, or he loved her.
Marion made the decision to focus on her task, and to yet again, stay out of Fionnghall’s sight. Perhaps putting distance between herself and him would help her with her pain. If she was able to keep away from him, maybe her love for him would fade as well. It had only been some weeks—there was no way her love for him was nothing more but superficial attraction. Right?
Marion was sitting in her bedroom with a few books from the library. Sitting in the library would have been too risky. Fionnghall could have appeared as he knew Marion liked to spend time in the library. This morning, Deirdre was in the music room, practicing playing the harpsichord. Marion couldn’t possibly risk running into Fionnghall on her own.
Marion was going through a book with records of families from Ridgemoore. Her plan was to return to Ridgemoore, this time without Fionnghall, and to find these two families.
She had also snatched a book that had the maps of some local towns and more information about them. The more she knew about Ridgemoore and the nearby areas, the better off she’d be. If Ridgemoore wasn’t going to pan out, she would have to make her way elsewhere.
Focusing on her research was hard. The picture of Fionnghall and his perfect lips kept creeping to the front of her mind, and she pushed it back over and over again. It would do no good to think about him.
Being away from him felt like there was a hole in her chest. Like something was missing. She felt the magnetic pull to him constantly, and all she wanted was to get up, go find him, and just be near him.
Suddenly, Marion’s bedroom door opened without warning and Deirdre flew in.
“Marion, it is lunch time, will ye come with me?” she asked and threw herself on Marion’s bed next to her.
Marion felt a twist in the bottom of her stomach. Fionnghall would be there and she wanted to go, to sit at the same table, to look into his eyes and to see the kindling love behind them. And the more she wanted to go, the more certain she was that she should do anything but.
“I don’t think it would be a very good idea. I’d better eat in here,” she said.
Deirdre rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest.
“Why? Ye must nae hide yerself. Ye haven’t done anythin’ wrong,” she said and pursed her lips.
“Have I not? I cannot put your people’s prosperity in jeopardy. If Laird Brun somehow finds out about my feelings, he might call off the wedding and that would be terrible for your people,” she said and closed the book. “And, based on the looks I received last night, I am sure he already has a hunch,” she finished.
Deirdre clicked her tongue.
“If he did cancel the wedding, that would solve yer problem, would it nae?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
Marion pursed her lips and tilted her head in response.
“Well, if ye hide in here, he will get a confirmation for those thoughts. Let us go downstairs. Maybe we won’t even meet them,” she said and got up, reaching her hand to Marion.
“What about your brother? I’d best stay away from him, at least,” Marion tried, knowing that Deirdre wasn’t so easily persuaded.
“Look, they will leave soon enough and things can go back to normal,” she said and took Marion’s hand, pulling her off the bed. The book fell on the floor and Marion dragged behind Deirdre to the door.
Her heart started racing without her permission. Now, her feet were taking her in the direction in which her heart wanted to go. But her head was screaming objections.
They were halfway to the dining room, when a door opened in the middle of the hallway and Lady Beitris stepped out. She saw Marion and Deirdre and immediately shot a sharp look to Marion.
“Good day, Miss MacIosag,” she said, not even noting Marion, who was standing right next to Deirdre.
“Lady MacDheorsa,” Deirdre nodded, pulling Marion forward.
Before Marion managed to take a step, Lady Beitris touched her shoulder and gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“I am glad to see that the Laird has taken ye under his wing… helpin’ ye and… all,” she said with a tone that didn’t match her smile.
“I’m quite sure I don’t know what you are talking about,” Marion replied out loud.
“He has shown very unusual kindness fer an English lass. I can understand that it is because of his good heart,” she continued.
“Yes, he and his sister have been most kind. Now, if you will excuse us, we are late for lunch,” Marion said and lifted her chin. Inside, she felt like crumbling under Lady Beitris’ judging look, but she didn’t want
to show it.
She took her hand off Marion’s shoulder and looked after them as they advanced along the hallway.
“What did she say?” Deirdre asked after they were outside of the earshot.
“Nothing,” Marion shook her head.
Deirdre did not look pleased, but she dropped the subject as they reached the dining room.
To Marion’s relief, Fionnghall was not there.
“Did ye find anything more about the families?” Deirdre asked as she sat down and piled food on her plate.
“Not much, but I will head to Ridgemoore soon to find out more,” Marion replied.
“Shall we ask fer Jack to join us?” she asked, very well aware that Marion didn’t want Fionnghall to follow them this time.
“I don’t want to trouble him, or you, Deirdre. I will ask for directions and head over there myself. If I go early in the day, I can be back before dark,” Marion replied.
“Marion, will ye ever learn? Like I would let ye go by yerself,” she said and sipped on the vegetable soup.
Marion looked at Deirdre and smiled. She was following her like a shadow, always helping, never complaining. How could you not love such a person?
They finished their meal and got up. Marion was going to head over to the stables to find Jack, when the door opened. Fionnghall entered. Marion’s heart dropped to her stomach and her fingers and feet went cold.
This was what she was trying to avoid. Her heart started racing as her emotions were having a fight within her. She wanted nothing more but to stay here with him, which is why she would have to leave and go as far away from him as possible.
“I’ll see ye in the barn, Marion,” Deirdre said quickly and disappeared through the door past her brother.
“Deirdre—,” Marion started, but Fionnghall stepped in front of the door to block her way out.
“I am so sorry about yesterday,” Fionnghall said with a warm expression on his face. “Laird Brun is nae a very pleasant man and he overstepped,” he said apologetically, grabbing Marion’s chin gently. Marion could smell the leathery smell that lingered around him and made her heart race faster. It invited her in but she resisted the urge to touch his face and continue from where they had left off.
Marion pushed his hand away against all her urges and emotions.
“That’s quite all right, nothing to apologize for,” Marion said, avoiding Fionnghall’s eyes. “I must go, Deirdre is waiting for me,” she continued. Fionnghall stepped aside and let her pass.
Marion made her way to the stables where Deirdre was petting her own yellow pony.
“What did he say?” she immediately asked.
“Really, nothing, I don’t want to talk about it,” Marion said and immediately continued, “Where’s Jack?”
“Right here,” Marion heard a voice behind her.
Jack was carrying a bag of oats on his shoulder.
“I am planning a trip to Ridgemoore again. Would you come with us?” she asked, hoping that a change of subject would make Deirdre forget what had just happened.
“Aye, sure. Would ye like the coach?” he asked and put the bag down on the floor.
“No! No coach, we will be fine riding, won’t we, Deirdre?” Marion said hastily. She was afraid that taking the coach would inform Fionnghall about their trip and that he might come along. She couldn’t possibly handle another trip as such with him in a close proximity.
Jack looked a little confused, but Deirdre nodded in agreement with Marion.
“Uh, I see, all right. How about tomorrow morning?” he asked and the girls nodded.
“That’s perfect, the faster the better,” Marion said and thanked Jack for his help.
“Excellent. I will inform the Laird that ye won’t be attending meals,” he said and picked the bag up again.
Marion pressed her lips together in disappointment, but Deirdre saved her.
“Jack, would ye dae me a favor and nae mention it to me brother?” she asked with a sweet smile.
Jack looked very suspicious, but he was clearly used to this, at least on Deirdre’s end.
“Fine, but ye will have to take his wrath when he finds out ye went without tellin’ him,” Jack said and turned away.
Marion mouthed the words “thank you” to her and she grinned.
* * *
Tomorrow couldn’t possibly come fast enough. Marion was preparing her bundle for the next day. She had packed the blue tartan and the short list with two family names. She had even written down some important town names just in case and packed the book with maps with her.
Marion was in the library doing last minute research. Anything that could help her the next day. And doing anything that could keep her busy and away from Fionnghall.
Her short encounter with him earlier had made a dent in her decision and confidence to stay away from him. Even when she wasn’t in the same room with him, she could still smell the leathery smell that made her feel so calm and cozy.
It was soon to be dinner time and Marion was trying to come up with excuses so she wouldn’t have to join dinner with the Brun family and Fionnghall. If she didn’t come up with a good enough excuse, Deirdre would drag her downstairs and force her to keep her head high and sit at the same table with the people who were the cause of her heartache.
Marion exhaled and left the library.
Maybe if I complain of a headache. I’ll have to stay in my room for the rest of the night and even Deirdre wouldn’t force me downstairs with a headache.
“Ah, Lady Marion!” Addair exclaimed as he appeared from around the corner.
Rats, Marion thought and forced a smile on her face.
“Mr. Addair,” she greeted.
“The Laird requests that ye join fer dinner,” he announced. There was no question in the request and Marion was sure Fionnghall had told him to persuade her to attend.
“I am afraid I must disappoint the Laird. Will you please tell him that I have a bad headache and I will need to lay down for the rest of the night?” she said and kept on walking.
“Certainly,” he replied.
That was a close one.
Marion exhaled and quickened her pace to get to her bedroom as quickly as possible. The hallway was empty and she broke into a light run.
Marion opened her door and closed it silently behind herself. She leaned against the door for a minute and closed her eyes. Though being alone was better than seeing Fionnghall, loneliness made her eyes burn with hot tears. When there was nothing distracting her, Fionnghall’s image crept up her mind and her lips remembered the night she had spent with him.
She quickly shook her head and sat on her bed. Immediately, she heard a demanding knock on her door. She didn’t respond. She could already guess who it was.
“Marion, I ken ye are in there,” Fionnghall said through the door.
Marion didn’t respond. The knocking persisted. She wanted to stay quiet and not see him, but after a few minutes, she couldn’t resist anymore, so she invited him in.
“Addair said ye weren’t feelin’ well. Does this have anythin’ to dae with our visitors?” he asked as he entered.
“No, no, of course not,” Marion said. “I am afraid all the reading today gave me a headache,” she lied and pressed her eyes down. Fionnghall looked so statuesque standing in the doorway that it took all of Marion’s willpower to resist running over to him and jumping into his arms.
Fionnghall looked a little bit suspicious, but he didn’t address Marion’s comment. Or the expression on her face that clearly told him something wasn’t right.
“All right. Addair is at yer service, should ye need anythin’. I will send dinner up fer ye,” he said and smiled at Marion.
Marion attempted a smile and Fionnghall closed the door behind himself.
She exhaled deeply when he was gone. She felt her hands shaking a little, but she had managed to keep herself calm and collected. It was getting harder and harder to resist the urge to find his company. There was
nothing wrong with just spending a bit of time in the same room with him, was there?
* * *
The dinner was tedious, there was simply no other word for it. Marion was in her bedroom, sick with a headache and Fionnghall had to entertain the unwanted guests, this time with only the help of Deirdre at the other end of the table. She wasn’t much of a help, as she despised the Brun family more than he did, if that was possible.
Clearly, Marion’s headache had something to do with the Brun family. Though Marion didn’t precisely know them, she knew enough. Fionnghall could only guess that Marion didn’t want to spend time in the same room with Lady Beitris, with the subject of marriage hanging over their heads.
Captivating A Highland Warrior (Steamy Scottish Historical Romance) Page 13